Young girls paying to lose their virginity

Prostitutes 'good option for virgins'

13:00 AEST Fri Oct 31 2008

Young women wanting to lose their virginity should consider paying a male prostitute to guide them through their first sexual experience, a clinical psychologist has told ninemsn.

Readers yesterday reacted strongly to revelations by ninemsn that young female virgins were increasingly paying escorts for sex.

Many supported the trend, including "Sarah" who posted a comment saying she too had hired a male "escort" to lose her virginity.

Sex expert and clinical psychologist Dr Vivienne Cass said paying an escort for sex iwas a "constructive option" for young female virgins to consider.

"Women are taught that their first time is going to be passionate and romantic but the truth is it's often painful and disappointing," she said.

Using a prostitute was a safe option for the many women who were now starting to realise that sex can be had outside a relationship.

"It's a better option than picking up some guy in a pub," Dr Cass said.

"At least it means you are more likely to practice safe sex, the escort won't be drunk and he will treat you well."

Yesterday, ninemsn reported revelations from sex industry workers that women, mainly aged in their early 20s, were paying at least $250 an hour for a "gentle and clinical" way of losing their virginity.

Sarah, who posted a comment in response to the story, said using an escort for her first time had worked for her.

"I wanted to learn how to get the best out of the physical part, so I could enjoy sex more once in a relationship.

"I did not want to take the chance that the person I formed a relationship with would know what they were doing."

Hiring an escort helped give her the confidence she needed when she met her current partner, she wrote.

"I am now in a great relationship where the love and sex are fantastic…it has helped a lot and made our love stronger through the confidence it's given me."

But author and former sex therapist Bettina Arnt warned women that going to a prostitute for your first time could prove to be unnecessarily painful.

“If it’s a trend it’s a very bad one,” Arnt said.

“It should be a memorable experience, how are these women going to feel when they look back later on and realize they paid for it, and even then it wasn’t that great.”

Young women paying prostitutes to deflower them were most likely doing so because of the pressure they felt to lose their virginity by a certain age, she said.

“People get anxious about their situation and they start to feel embarrassed when they find themselves still a virgin as young adults.”

“They feel like it’s freaky to be twenty or twenty five and still be a virgin but they are misguided in that belief because there are many more people like them than they think.”

ninemsn also received feedback from older women who told of their experiences with male prostitutes.

One reader, who describes herself as an attractive professional woman in her late thirties, said she has started using male escorts 10 years ago "for kicks".

"I've had all types and some have been amazing and some quite ho-hum … I've probably had at least 20 male escorts, if not more," she wrote.

"Sometimes I've spent an hour with them....sometimes I've spent many weekends with them and I've even flown a few interstate for weekends with me!"

Bettina Arndt is looking for volunteers for a new study on male sexuality, for more information go to her website.