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The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

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Comments

  • #2252
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329445.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2253
    RikuoAmero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭RikuoAmero


    Worztron wrote: »
    329445.jpg

    What I would love to see happen is they knock, ask the question, and the guy pulls out a birth cert/document showing legal change of name and says "Hi, my name is Jesus! Great, you've found me!"


  • #2254
    AstraMonti
    Registered Users Posts: 5,718 ✭✭✭AstraMonti


    Nice work god! (destroyed by lightning) :D

    10383102_792766940761550_8489108369218480752_n.jpg?oh=03675f389e9b00fd78bb41948043cae6&oe=5518E842&__gda__=1427492858_0fc7e510f2bc54a90ca8dda8091fa773


  • #2255
    LeinsterDub
    Registered Users Posts: 8,229 ✭✭✭LeinsterDub


    AstraMonti wrote: »
    Nice work god! (destroyed by lightning) :D

    Praise Thor!


  • #2256
    Brian Shanahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭Brian Shanahan


    LeinsterDub wrote: »
    Praise Thor!

    Odin here, I am pleased with your worship of my creation. Much thanks.


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  • #2257
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329572.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2258
    Yawlboy
    Registered Users Posts: 748 ✭✭✭Yawlboy


    Very interesting Comic titled - How to Suck at your religion http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion


  • #2259
    RikuoAmero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭RikuoAmero


    Yawlboy wrote: »
    Very interesting Comic titled - How to Suck at your religion http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion

    Funniest thing I've seen in a while, and yet soooooo right.


  • #2260
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,868 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    Worztron wrote: »
    329572.jpg

    Hmm.

    Possible Spider-Man religion pros and cons:

    Pro:

    The more sciencey thou are the higher chance you will end up with improbably hot women, possibly models or actresses.

    Con:

    The more thou care about someone the more chance they will be shot or die in a plane crash.

    Pro:

    Ye shall have and use superpowers. Sometimes responsibly.

    Con:

    Ye shall mope on top of buildings about how terrible it is to have super powers.

    Pro:

    Thou shall create miracles of science, like web fluid and GPS like tracking in the 60s.

    Con:

    Ye shall use these miracles to shoot goo in peoples faces while dressed in long johns.

    Hmmm....


  • #2261
    CramCycle
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,412 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    Doctor DooM wrote: »
    Con:

    Ye shall use these miracles to shoot goo in peoples faces while dressed in long johns.

    Hmmm....

    How is that a con? That was an atypical Thursday night when I was in college.


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  • #2262
    AstraMonti
    Registered Users Posts: 5,718 ✭✭✭AstraMonti


    1779360_10152846905251605_7093977928509164437_n.jpg?oh=1ad0fae8bafaea5a4b815a6048e81054&oe=550AD826&__gda__=1427611468_ccfc3a90cb25ed8eeca6035e10909073


  • #2263
    PopePalpatine
    Registered Users Posts: 11,836 ✭✭✭✭PopePalpatine


    Doctor DooM wrote: »
    Hmm.

    Possible Spider-Man religion pros and cons:

    Pro:

    The more sciencey thou are the higher chance you will end up with improbably hot women, possibly models or actresses.

    Con:

    The more thou care about someone the more chance they will be shot or die in a plane crash.

    Pro:

    Ye shall have and use superpowers. Sometimes responsibly.

    Con:

    Ye shall mope on top of buildings about how terrible it is to have super powers.

    Pro:

    Thou shall create miracles of science, like web fluid and GPS like tracking in the 60s.

    Con:

    Ye shall use these miracles to shoot goo in peoples faces while dressed in long johns.

    Hmmm....

    Con: The movies which you star in are ****e. :pac:


  • #2264
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329684.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2265
    obplayer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭obplayer


    I know you may have seen this but it's short and funny.



  • #2266
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,395 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    God speaks to a schizophrenic, atheistic programmer who designs and codes TempleOS.

    http://motherboard.vice.com/read/gods-lonely-programmer

    Here's the OS charter:
    • TempleOS is God's official temple. Just like Solomon's temple, this is a community focal point where offerings are made and God's oracle is consulted.
    • God said 640x480 16 color graphics is a covenant like circumcision. Children will do offerings. Think of 16 colors like the Simpson's cartoons.
    • God said to use a single audio voice -- a single frequency with waveforms.
    • God said His temple must be perfect. We don't think twice about breaking compatibility.
    • The vision is the same usage model and niche as the Commodore 64 -- a non-networked, simple machine where programming was the goal, not just a means to an end. However, it is modern, 64-bit and multi-cored. It is special purpose, not general purpose, so some things it will not do. Also, it's a kayak, not a Titanic.
    • We do not put any hooks for future changes. "Perfect" means we always act as though it is final, for all time. Microsoft allowed the Windows BMP file format to adapt to the future and it became grotesque.
    • Low line count is the highest good, so it is easy to learn the whole thing. Users should see the light at the end of the tunnel. One file system, for example, is better than many file systems.
    • There is a limit of 100,000 lines of code for all time, not including applications and demos. Code comments count, however. 3rd party libraries are banned because they circumvent the intent of this limit. The vision is a Commodore 64 ROM -- a fixed core API that is the only dependency of applications. Currently, there are 80,668 lines of code.
    • Minimal abstraction is a goal. Sheep are fools. They always respect a design that is more complicated than another. Any genius can make it complicated. Like in physics, it takes a supra-genius to make it simple.
    • One platform. x86_64 PC compatibles.
    • One driver for each class of device. Limited exceptions are allowed. With divergent device capabilities, it is a nightmare for user applications and what is gained? A three button mouse is like a leg you cannot put weight on.
    • Ring-0-only. Everything runs in kernel mode, including user applications.
    • Full access to everything. All memory, I/O ports, instructions, and similar things must never be off-limits. All functions, variables and class members will be accessible. There are no C++ public/private protections and all functions, even secondary ones in the kernel, can be called.
    • Single-address-map as though paging is not used. Long mode requires paging, however, so the nearest thing is keeping all memory identity-mapped.
    • No networking, so malware is not an issue.
    • No encryption or passwords. Files are compressed, not encrypted.
    • Free and public domain.
    • 100% open source with all source included.
    • Documents are not for printing. They're dynamic, intended for the screen.
    • Just one 8x8 fixed-width font. No Unicode, just Extended ASCII.
    • No multimedia. Sounds and images will be primarily calculated in real-time, not fetched from storage.
    Minimal abstraction isn't a bad thing. The rest is a little special.


  • #2267
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329802.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2268
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329858.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2269
    RikuoAmero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭RikuoAmero


    Worztron wrote: »
    snip

    As I was scrolling down the page, I saw the speech balloon. I just KNEW who the guy would be before I had actually seen it. Anyone else?


  • #2270
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329913.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2271
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329939.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



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  • #2272
    Delirium
    Moderators Posts: 51,702 ✭✭✭✭Delirium


    329941.jpg

    If you can read this, you're too close!



  • #2273
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    329942.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2274
    RikuoAmero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭RikuoAmero


    SW wrote: »
    329941.jpg

    Well, that didn't take long...


  • #2275
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    330062.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2276
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    Case closed:

    2e6fols.jpg


  • #2277
    smacl
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,705 Mod ✭✭✭✭smacl


    10801496_833492396702849_8221865148079189696_n.png?oh=641857e1b40b4407ffc92c786963c9e2&oe=55071782&__gda__=1427369054_c4d49cad22938d906267a7c2dc42566c


  • #2278
    Bandana boy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭Bandana boy


    smacl wrote: »
    Why the Irish Elk became extinct

    DSC4163.jpg

    i suspect it had more to do with how tasty it was


  • #2279
    Worztron
    Registered Users Posts: 8,664 ✭✭✭Worztron


    330211.jpg

    Mitch Hedberg: "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."



  • #2280
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    Hmmmmmmmm... About that breeding programme, Noah...

    dRsBOId.jpg


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  • #2281
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    religion-god-religion-wow-stupid-demotivational-poster-1257819265.jpg


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