Engagement rings: Diamonds & Vanity?

Silverfish · 29-01-2012 12:23am

The 3 months salary thing is from when people earned 3 shillings and sixpence, not like, nowadays :eek:

So, like, if he spends 40,000 on a ring, will she have to spend as much or more on him or by his logic, she doesn't love him as much?

Das Kitty · 29-01-2012 12:24am

Acoshla wrote: »

My friend's boyfriend is adamant he'll spend 3 months wages on her engagement ring, about €40,000. He will get her the biggest showiest diamond that he can buy for that much, he'll want everyone to know just how much he spent because, and I quote, "The more you spend on someone the more you love them".

Ha ha! Oh how sad.

Here was be thinking love was about the loving and not the spending. How silly of me.

Silverfish · 29-01-2012 12:26am

But maybe if 40k is only 3 months salary maybe proportionally it's not that much to drop on a ring if that's how he wants to spend it?

That's insane, rings fall off and get chipped and get worn and fall down the plughole and get left on the soap on the sink but how would you do that to a 40k ring? I'd sit at home with an armed guard and never leave the house!

coffee_cake · 29-01-2012 12:27am

Silverfish wrote: »

The 3 months salary thing is from when people earned 3 shillings and sixpence, not like, nowadays :eek:

So, like, if he spends 40,000 on a ring, will she have to spend as much or more on him or by his logic, she doesn't love him as much?

don't be silly she's just there to look pretty

Acoshla · 29-01-2012 2:11am

Well she has no money so he wouldn't expect it and I guarantee he said the woman shouldn't be spending the money the man should, he's a bit antiquated in his views (there was some comment about filling a house with babies but it's just too 18th century to even think about).

So yes bluewolf you pretty much got it in one.

Blush_01 · 29-01-2012 3:31am

If I ever get engaged, the only thing I would not like my engagement ring to have is a pearl, they're too fragile, they stain and damage too easily.

I have a very beautiful string of pearls and they're quite valuable. I wear them whenever I want to feel special, because they're special to me, and not something I'd like to damage or lose, but their monetary value doesn't stop me from wearing them. They're possibly my most valuable and prized possession - more for what they signify than their value. My mother had the clasp commissioned for me, and I'd be heartbroken if anything happened to them. I'd like an engagement ring to have a similar emotional value - whether it comes from a Christmas cracker or a bespoke jewellers.

I have big (and what I would consider ugly) hands. Any rings I have simply have to suit my hands - regardless of their monetary value. I think a ring that suits the wearer is more important than what it's constructed from.

Giselle · 29-01-2012 1:55pm

So many people are exploited in the mining of even so-called ethical stones, and I include most precious and semi-precious gems in that, that I'd feel much more comfortable wearing a ring with a cubic zirconia stone than anything else.

Twee. · 29-01-2012 10:57pm

I think I would prefer an antique ring, marcasite and/or pearl, small diamonds or glass/cubic zirconia. If I did go for a bigger diamond I'd like antique as well because I prefer the styles and I guess it's not directly linked to current mining for new diamonds. Expensive recycling? Lab diamonds are grand, wouldn't have any issue wearing one, it's just the vintage/art deco styles that I prefer.

My mother's original engagement had a small sapphire in it, it's really gorgeous. She doesn't wear it anymore, as she got a flash enough diamond ring for their 25th wedding anniversary.

If both bride and groom are happy with spending the $$$ on an expensive ring, that's fine go ahead, but no one should be expected to, or criticised for not. I'd hope my future fiance (whoever he may be, if at all!) would know me well enough to let us pick one together or at least stray away from a massive diamond on a gold band.

iguana · 29-01-2012 11:18pm

Giselle wrote: »

So many people are exploited in the mining of even so-called ethical stones, and I include most precious and semi-precious gems in that, that I'd feel much more comfortable wearing a ring with a cubic zirconia stone than anything else.

You can get lab created gems that have been ethically created, like the ones from here. http://greenkarat.com/ I don't have an engagement ring but my husband and I got our wedding rings from them.

Blush_01 · 30-01-2012 12:15am

and

Pretty! Think I might buy myself one because they're so lovely...

carolinespring · 30-01-2012 1:10am

Blush_01 wrote: »

If I ever get engaged, the only thing I would not like my engagement ring to have is a pearl, they're too fragile, they stain and damage too easily.

I have a very beautiful string of pearls and they're quite valuable. I wear them whenever I want to feel special, because they're special to me, and not something I'd like to damage or lose, but their monetary value doesn't stop me from wearing them. They're possibly my most valuable and prized possession - more for what they signify than their value. My mother had the clasp commissioned for me, and I'd be heartbroken if anything happened to them. I'd like an engagement ring to have a similar emotional value - whether it comes from a Christmas cracker or a bespoke jewellers.

I have big (and what I would consider ugly) hands. Any rings I have simply have to suit my hands - regardless of their monetary value. I think a ring that suits the wearer is more important than what it's constructed from.

I lost my engagement ring a few years back but it was a amazing 1920's style pearl and diamond one. Wore it for 5 years and the pearl was still perfect. How I loved that ring. it was the most beautifu ring I have ever seen. Replaced it when the insurance paid up but have hardly wore the new ring. :mad:

iguana · 30-01-2012 1:21am

Blush_01 wrote: »

Pretty! Think I might buy myself one because they're so lovely...

Yeah, there is an emerald ring on that site that I'm going to buy myself as a treat if I ever sell any of my writing.

magentas · 31-01-2012 1:41am

wow maybe my posts are coming across in a judgemental way, that wasn't my intention. So I probably should have said *some* women as opposed to most. Didn't think it's provoke such a reaction.

Fair play to anyone who wants a diamond/ruby/sapphire/costume/no ring at all! I'm NOT judging anyone. As I said, I've had my OHs sister pretty much bragging about how big and fantastic her rock is, doesn't mean every girl flaunts it like that. Just some;)

sam34 · 31-01-2012 7:24am

I know a woman who was perfectly happy with her diamond solitaire ring until a friend of hers got engaged and got a ring with 3 diamonds. the other woman gave her ring back to her then fiancé and told him to get her a ring with more diamonds than the other girl's one!

fool that he was, he did as she demanded, instead of using the opportunity to run very far away.

magentas · 31-01-2012 9:34am

sam34 wrote: »

I know a woman who was perfectly happy with her diamond solitaire ring until a friend of hers got engaged and got a ring with 3 diamonds. the other woman gave her ring back to her then fiancé and told him to get her a ring with more diamonds than the other girl's one!

fool that he was, he did as she demanded, instead of using the opportunity to run very far away.

I've heard of a lot of stories like this...women "competing" and this is what I don't like. As another poster said, there is a difference between personal opinion and judgement and this is purely my opinion. Each to their own:)

theg81der · 31-01-2012 10:05am

I`m married and I don`t have an engagement or wedding ring. Just not into it at all, I`m miffed by other womens love of diamonds and gold, its weird - there stones and metal. I can see why there stores of value as cutting or conduction materials but just to look at.....WHY? My Sister in Law got a ruby, I reckon that seems a bit more classy but I`m still lost.

I think this is my one of my hubbys favourite things about me. He got engaged to his ex and she went and got herself a ring - he never could have married someone like that. We suit each other but I wouldn`t stick my nose up at others with different tastes.

Mind you its inconvenient sometimes when people are confused and don`t believe your married or engaged and say partner uncomfortably just to cover themselves lol.

SarahBeep! · 31-01-2012 10:41am

I'd love my mams, just a small simple solitaire on 9ct gold.

For their anniversary a while back Dad said he'd get her a new one and she said 'No, this is my engagment ring.' really sweet i think

ynul31f47k6b59 · 31-01-2012 11:45am

My ring cost less than €100, it's white gold with a little diamond chip and I love it. It's small and dainty, and it's exactly what I wanted. I couldn't wear something that cost thousands, I'd feel paranoid every time I wore it! We have chosen cheap white gold wedding bands too - my OH works with his hands so will probably only wear it when he's not working, and I'm not into jewellery at all so I don't see the point spending big money on something I'm not overly interested in when I'd much rather put the money into something I'd enjoy more. The rings are just a symbol for us - I don't need something fancy to know that we're happy and love each other.

Saying that, it's up to each individual person - I'd never turn my nose up at someone who spend thousands, that's their choice - but I hate this craic of "Oh, show me the ring!" while grabbing your hand. Wrecks my head.

Acoshla · 31-01-2012 12:10pm

theg81der wrote: »

I`m married and I don`t have an engagement or wedding ring. Just not into it at all, I`m miffed by other womens love of diamonds and gold, its weird - there stones and metal. I can see why there stores of value as cutting or conduction materials but just to look at.....WHY?

Some people love jewellery, so to have a lovely piece to wear every day for the rest of their lives that is a symbol of their engagement and marriage is nice to have.

theg81der · 31-01-2012 12:17pm

Acoshla wrote: »

Some people love jewellery, so to have a lovely piece to wear every day for the rest of their lives that is a symbol of their engagement and marriage is nice to have.

Agh I know other people do. I realised this when other girls started to emass this stuff in our teens and I was aware that they were their most precious things, it just seems weird to me but everyone is different - I keep jeans in tubberware boxes some that are 40 years old belong to relatives bet other people think thats pretty freaky lol!

rainshowers82 · 01-02-2012 9:15pm

I wear my ring with pride as my Fiance went to alot of trouble to pick it out for me and will forever hold that sentimental value. I don't feel the need to Judge others who do not like/ need /want a Diamond Ring .... I do not like the idea that now im being Judged because i have one , I also do not like the assumption that because i have one i want a huge tacky wedding .... Maybe people wear a diamond ring because shock Horror ........... they like rings and like the sentiment behind it .

I think we judge far too much in this country and we need to stop , people are entitled to do and wear what they want .

newmug · 21-02-2012 4:18pm

Just looking in H Samuel today, saw an engagement ring I like (and more importantly, I know she would), and I can afford. I wonder though, is H Samuel a bit Argos-y? Thats the impression I get. Am I right?

coffee_cake · 21-02-2012 4:19pm

if she likes it and you like it who cares

newmug · 21-02-2012 4:24pm

bluewolf wrote: »

if she likes it and you like it who cares

Cheers Bluewolf. I know what you're saying, but I'm more thinking of the quality of it, I dont want the ring to fall apart after a couple of years.

Its white gold, and yerone said it would have to be "re-dipped" every year. I was like

? Is that normal for white gold, or is it just a piece of iron in the middle, electro-plated with white gold?

SarahBeep! · 21-02-2012 4:43pm

newmug wrote: »

Just looking in H Samuel today, saw an engagement ring I like (and more importantly, I know she would), and I can afford. I wonder though, is H Samuel a bit Argos-y? Thats the impression I get. Am I right?

I used to work for them. Sure all diamonds and gold come outta the same earth.

coffee_cake · 21-02-2012 4:45pm

white gold does need to be re dipped yes

Fluorescence · 21-02-2012 5:34pm

I've never cared a great deal about jewelery tbh - I mostly just own necklaces and I like those because they don't get in the way :pac:. As for diamonds... well, I don't really appreciate what it is I'm getting for the money. The coolest thing about them is that they're shiny, but I can use a watch face to flicker lights around the ceiling when I'm bored :P Coloured stones are more visually appealing to me, but still, ultimately, meh.

If I were, by some random chance, to change my mind about marriage and weddings and decide to get in on that, I would like a very very non-traditional ring. Take Solitaire rings for instance - I could never wear one of those because I'd constantly be catching it in my clothes or banging it against doorframes (I'm very clumsy, can you tell? :pac:) and it would be destroyed in no time. A band that had the stones set in it might be more suitable. Better again would be something really funky like a steampunk ring. I love steampunk stuff :P

il_570xN.308607702.jpg

Even better would be something that somehow incorporated a long-running in-joke. That would be amazing.

As I mentioned earlier though, I really don't see myself ever getting married. Long term commitment, maybe, but not marriage. So the whole engagement ring thing doesn't really effect me all that much anyway

In essence: For people who like diamond jewelery and all the symbolism that brings - great! For people who prefer something else - also great! For people who like no jewelery at all - great!

EDIT: I just found these Binary Rings on etsy and I must say they're very cool. It says I heart U in binary :P (the character before the heart being the I and the character after being the U, obviously)

il_570xN.196007344.jpg

iguana · 21-02-2012 5:37pm

newmug wrote: »

Cheers Bluewolf. I know what you're saying, but I'm more thinking of the quality of it, I dont want the ring to fall apart after a couple of years.

Its white gold, and yerone said it would have to be "re-dipped" every year. I was like ? Is that normal for white gold, or is it just a piece of iron in the middle, electro-plated with white gold?

There is no such thing as white gold. It was created as a cheaper alternative to platinum about 90 years ago. All 'white gold' is actually regular gold which has been 'bleached' by being alloyed with a white metal like nickel and then plated with rhodium. It's usual for a ring worn everyday to need re-plating every year or so.

If you do decide to go ahead with a white gold ring it is important to find out what alloy has been used as often the metal is a common allergen. 1 in 8 people are allergic to nickel for example and can experience an itchy rash all around the ring once the plating wears away, if nickel was the alloy used.

eadire · 21-02-2012 7:19pm

My ring is white gold and yes it does need to be re dipped but I love it. and it did not cost thousands and no it doesnt have a diamond but everyone who sees it thinks it is amazing so you dont have to spend thousands on an engagement ring for it to be special

LisaLee · 22-02-2012 3:58pm

Just throwing in my two cents, I have a diamond engagement ring. Although I like the semi-precious stones such as opals, rubies, emeralds etc. I had already collected my fair share of jewellery but I'd never owned any diamond jewellery.

My H2B sat down with a jeweller and got a bespoke ring made up. Because I had never had a diamond before, it was the main stone that I wanted, the time and effort that went into my ring really touched me, plus it's the only diamond I own which makes it even more special to me.

A friend of mine got engaged recently and has a sapphire ring and because it's a large stone people have called it 'showy' and have been second guessing how much it cost. People get too bogged down in details like this. If you love your e-ring, or choose not to wear one then each to their own.

Engagement rings: Diamonds & Vanity?

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