The Ballybunion thread

AFTER reading through the 38 pages devoted to Kerry in the latest edition of the Lonely Plant guide to Ireland, you find yourself thinking, thank God I already live here, because if I didn’t, I’d be packing my bags and heading for this slice of paradise in the southwest, post haste!

To say that the writers of the popular travel guide were impressed with our fair county, would be something of an understatement. There is very little criticism of any kind about any place, and any that is levied, is hard to argue with.

It’s also noticeable that there’s a vast amount of space devoted to the county in the guide — only places like Dublin and Belfast get more column inches and, with their vast populations, that’s only be be expected. You actually find yourself feeling a bit sorry for the people of Leitrim and Longford, whose counties are collectively deemed worthy of a paltry three pages.

So assuming most of you out there haven’t read the guide, you’ll be keen to ask the obvious question: so what do they think of us? Well, if you’re from Castleisland, Ballybunion, Sneem or Ballyheigue, the answer unfortunately is “not much”, because none of these places were mentioned.

In praise of Ballyb

By Deirdre Walsh

I’VE always been a big fan of the Lonely Planet guides — I’d scarcely get on a plane in recent years without one tucked into my hand luggage — but after reading their latest 732-page tome on Ireland, I must admit I’m in a major sulk with them. In fact, they may have lost a life-long customer.

Why? Because having gone through the entire Kerry section in great detail, I can’t find a single reference to my beloved home town. Zilch. Nada. As far as this 2006 guide to Ireland is concerned, Ballybunion doesn’t exist.

Never mind that it just happens to be home to one of the top ten golf courses in the world, has two Blue Flag beaches and is one of the most popular seaside resorts in the country. It seems that author Fionn Davenport and his team of four other travel writers simply never ventured past Listowel when they headed north of the county, save for a cursory mention of Tarbert and the fact that the car ferry leaves from there.

Being ignored is almost worse than being slated. At least the good citizens of Dundalk — “a charmless place without much to see or do” — got some decent publicity in the national media in the aftermath of the guide’s publication last month, and thereby got a chance to defend the honour of their home town. But we Ballybunion natives weren’t even deemed worthy of a good slagging off.

Having smarted over this glaring omission all week, I’ve decided that the only decent thing to do is write my own ‘Guide to Ballybunion’, which any tourists reading this can feel free to tear out and keep for future reference.

GETTING THERE: Embark from the car ferry at Tarbert and follow the signs. Or if you’re coming from the Tralee side, drive slowly over the infamous Dale Road, or you could find yourself upsidedown in a bog. Arriving alive is always a good start.

WHERE TO STAY: There are several good hotels, none of which will rip you off at any time of year. The Golf Hotel has a spectacular view of the town from its rooftop restaurant. Or better still, stay in one of the numerous top-class B&Bs such as Mary Beasley’s 19th Green near the golf club — the favoured choice of world-renowned golfer Tom Watson. There’s a hostel too, if you’re on a budget.

THINGS TO DO: Get the ultimate relaxation experience with a hot seaweed bath at Collins’ Baths on the ladies’ beach. Better than any trip to a fancy health spa, and a lot cheaper. Make sure you have tea and some of Mary Mulvihill’s homemade scones afterwards. Sheer heaven.

Go for a long walk back the cliffs and take in some breathtaking scenery, including the Virgin Rock. Pick perriwinkles on the Black Rocks or lounge on one of the two unspoiled Blue Flag beaches.

Take a day-long boat trip up along the coast and travel through the magnificent Virgin Rock.

Of course if you’re a golfer, you’re in seventh heaven. Ballybunion has two top-class links courses, which are firm favourites with everyone from Bill Clinton to Catherine Zeta-Jones.

EATING OUT: The Strand, Kilcooley’s, Cliff House and Harty Costelloe’s are all top-class and great value, and the town also has a Chinese, an Indian and a steak house.

PUBS: No shortage of variety here either. The Exchange and JDs for the young and the trendy; Mikey Joe’s if you want to talk golf all night, or The Railway if you want to meet the locals.

Of course I could go on and on — and will no doubt get in to trouble for omitting some place or other — but what the hell. The tourists need to know, in case they come to Kerry and never make it to my beloved home town. Maybe the Lonely Planet people might even offer me a job in time for their next edition.