Engagement rings: Diamonds & Vanity?

cynder · 22-02-2012 5:37pm

I was with my partner for 10 years before we got engaged, i wanted my ring, however i didn't want an expensive ring. We went into Mathew Stevens in limerick and picked out one together, my engagement ring and wedding ring are the only jewelry i wear 24/7. my husbands wedding ring was 1/2 the price of my engament ring and spends most of its life in my jewelry box.

hattoncracker · 22-02-2012 5:47pm

I work in a shop and had a customer in with a stunning emerald engagement ring..

Im not a diamond person, I'd much prefer an emerald or amber stone.. Having said that, if he handed me a barn brack ring I couldn't care less, the sentiment is still there... Same with weddings. I don't think the size of your cake, dress or how many doves you have, I'd rather a marriage than a wedding day.

Long Road 8378 · 26-02-2012 12:47am

I'm not into expensive jewellery either, TBH, I have more Penneys jewellery than anything but I did want a diamond for my engagement ring and will want the same for my eternity ring.

However, it's not a must and I wouldn't be shocked if someone told me that their engagment ring wasn't diamond. Did you ever see Kirsty Allsop from Location, Location, Location? She is a wealthy lady and even comes from a very wealthy family (I just assumed that every wealthy person is a diamond fanatic!!!

) but her ring is not diamond. It's a large and very cool semi-precious coloured stone. Each to their own I say.

squishykins · 26-02-2012 7:40pm

My parents were together 17 years before my dad popped the question, I was 15, so he had enough time to save for one :P

And bejaysis did he save! It's the only ring my mammy owned (obviously she has her wedding band now too), and it suits her perfectly, it has a feckload of diamonds, but I don't judge on that because he loved her enough to wait to give her one she deserved

I would never want one of those for myself though. I'm not even gonna speculate into what I want yet though :P

ihsb · 26-02-2012 9:56pm

I work with couples getting married. The rings that I have preferred have been the ones that have been individual to the couple, they generally have diamonds but they are unusual in design and a bit special.

The same way as I know what kind of ring I want. Something small, not flashy at all but unusual. Because of the unusual aspect it will probably be expensive because you have to get it made.

On the whole though. If someone I loved couldn't afford the ring as long as it was well made so it would last a long time I would love it and say yes! (who is to say I couldn't get my dream ring made for me in years to come?)

Sweetaure · 27-02-2012 1:17pm

Just to add my 2 cents as this is an interesting thread… I recently got engaged to my partner of over 7 years, and she got me a ring. It is not huge but it is a beautiful solitaire set in a plain platinum band. First of all, we got engaged because my partner got very sick last year, I apparently took great care of her, and she knew I wanted to get married, since civil partnership is now legal in Ireland, so she thought she’d treat me to a diamond ring. I never saw it coming, I just thought we’d decide one day to do the deed and that would be it. As a gay couple, we didn’t feel the social pressure of getting married after a certain amount of time. Secondly, I never had an interest in jewelry, but as soon as I got the ring on my finger, I started obsessing over diamonds and rings, and diamond rings, and diamond earrings, bracelets, necklaces, etc… and I mean, obsessed!! To the point where I actually said to my girlfriend that I wanted a bigger diamond! I don’t, I really love my ring the way it is, but I got sucked into the whole bigger=better craziness that fills the wedding world. I have been living in Ireland for 13 years (I am French), so I can’t comment on whether this is an Irish thing, as it may be the exact same thing France, but I know that in my office, most engaged/ married women look at the size of the ring over the quality. As someone else mentioned, never mind that a huge rock looks like glass, all a lot of women seem to care about is the size, but don’t seem to really mind if it doesn’t sparkle.

Anyway, as I said, just my 2 cents, apologies for the essay – it just hit a nerve!

Congrats to all newly engaged, married and of course, the happily committed – jewelry/ marriage is a personal choice and no-one should feel pressured into anything that isn’t them!

Sweetaure · 27-02-2012 1:29pm

Acoshla wrote: »

I have been known to sit in meetings in hotels with great spotlights moving my hand and oohing and ahhing

Love it, I do that with mine AAALLLLL the time!!

evilmonkee · 27-02-2012 11:01pm

Azureus wrote: »

I like the idea of a diamond ring-I like the fact that the stone in synonomous with the meaning-ie if you see a diamond ring on someones engagement finger it stands out as an engagement ring, whereas if you see another stone the meaning for me is more ambiguous (is she engaged or does she just like wearing her ring on that finger?).

I agree with the statement above, personally, I will want to announce to the world that I am engaged (because I love my partner and believe that I am the luckiest woman in the world to spend my life with him, not because I care about showiness).

However, I will be going for a lab created diamond and 100% reclaimed or recycled platinum. Platinum does not have to be resurfaced the way white gold does and therefore I can ensure that the reclaimed/recycled metal is the only metal in the ring.

Also I would like a blue diamond, as I feel they are a little more unusual than the traditional white.

On top of all this, we won't be spending much on all this, I want a simple ring and a simpler wedding band.

(lucky he knows what he has gotten himself in for!)

shinikins · 28-02-2012 12:16am

evilmonkee wrote: »

Also I would like a blue diamond, as I feel they are a little more unusual than the traditional white.

A friend of mine has a blue diamond engagement ring. Looks the exact same as a pale sapphire or blue amethyst. Only for the fact that she tells everyone that its a diamond, no-one would know the difference.

evilmonkee · 28-02-2012 1:42am

shinikins wrote: »

A friend of mine has a blue diamond engagement ring. Looks the exact same as a pale sapphire or blue amethyst. Only for the fact that she tells everyone that its a diamond, no-one would know the difference.

Seeing as mine will be small, this might be worth looking into! Cheers, might help to save a few bob

ShiftStorm · 28-02-2012 3:36pm

I got married in December 2010. We didn't want to spend over €1,000 for all our rings put together and we managed! I had wanted a sapphire ring but alas it was before Kate and William got married so it was hard to find. But we found an "engagement" ring in a shop in our town for €260 - it was sapphire, diamonds and white gold and has a (faux) antique feel to it. And we managed to get our wedding rings for under €750 at a really nice jeweller's called Corr's in Powerscourt Shopping Centre of Grafton Street. Everywhere else, our budget was laughed at!

ShiftStorm · 28-02-2012 3:37pm

byrned17 wrote: »

I got married in December 2010. We didn't want to spend over €1,000 for all our rings put together and we managed! I had wanted a sapphire ring but alas it was before Kate and William got married so it was hard to find. But we found an "engagement" ring in a shop in our town for €260 - it was sapphire, diamonds and white gold and has a (faux) antique feel to it. And we managed to get our wedding rings for under €750 at a really nice jeweller's called Corr's in Powerscourt Shopping Centre of Grafton Street. Everywhere else, our budget was laughed at!

(And I have never owned expensive jewellery before!)

cynder · 28-02-2012 5:08pm

byrned17 wrote: »

(And I have never owned expensive jewellery before!)

Neither did I. My ring was 1495, the wedding band was 150. My husbands wedding band was 795.

I see some on the wedding forum spending 3k on a dress they are going to wear for one day. That's mad, most of their dresses cost more than my ring and I wear it every day..

I am a friend · 06-03-2012 10:09am

The judgement works both ways... People are judging women for wanting a diamond, yet dont want to be judged for not wanting one..

Double standards anyone?

WindSock · 06-03-2012 10:59am

Why does anyone give a **** about others think of what you have on your finger. Its for you, not them. They dont give a **** either.

saa · 06-03-2012 11:36am

Wow I would stop worrying about what others think and others do right now as its only going to get worse with the wedding.

I was given a diamond ring even though I said I did just wanted a silver one, so now I have a white gold ring which im allergic to and embarrassed to wear because it looks flashy and not me. My partner tries to keep up appearances, I don't.. I have thrown out the window every idea of what others do on their wedding and said I want a simple dress, normal suits, no flashy bridesmaid dress, just a ceremony, nice dinner somewhere and a dance, none of this oh you HAVE to spend a grand on flowers because that's what everyone does, or you have to have a champagne reception for everyone etc. no I have to have what suits me not what is the done thing.

Conrach · 06-03-2012 1:27pm

I think engagement rings (like everything else) follow trends. When I got engaged 20 years ago cluster rings were in vogue and coloured stones. I had my eye on a peridot and diamond cluster but my ex-husband got me a solitaire.

I got some strange comments about my solitaire such as, it's a bit plain isn't it? He didn't give it much thought did he? etc., etc. I loved my solitaire and didn't care but to be honest 6 years down the line and 2 kids I had gotten fed up with it.

1.) The money on my finger could have relieved alot of stresses

2.) Everyone had a solitaire ring then and it looked the same as everyone elses.

15 years down the line, it is in a safe with my wedding ring and the kids can do what they want with them.

20 years down the line it seems I have told 50 young women that their rings are gorgeous when in fact they are just the same as mine and everyone elses.

My cousin is a jeweller and she said the trend is swinging back towards clusters and coloured stones. Whether this is the "Kate effect" or the effect of the recession I don't know.

Even though I have developed an aversion to diamond rings because they have become the norm and therefore common,(In frequency not taste) I think an engagement ring is very personal to the couple, their tastes, the meaning and their financial circumstances. I don't think anyone has the right to judge anyone on their choice of engagement ring and no-one has the right to comment.

but which would you prefer

http://www.thediamondstore.co.uk/peridot-&-007ct-diamond-ring-9k-white-gold-p3331c269.cfm

or

http://www.serendipitydiamonds.co.uk/detail.asp/sku=R1D019

:D:D

cynder · 06-03-2012 1:35pm

Conrach wrote: »

but which would you prefer

http://www.thediamondstore.co.uk/peridot-&-007ct-diamond-ring-9k-white-gold-p3331c269.cfm

or

http://www.serendipitydiamonds.co.uk/detail.asp/sku=R1D019

:D:D

I wouldnt wear either, i went for a 7 stone ring, not typical trilogy ring as i have 4 smaller stones either side of the middle stone the at each end middle sized stones. I wanted a unique ring and TBH ive never seen another ring like mine

Ilyana · 06-03-2012 1:43pm

One of my college tutors has a huge rock and I must admit it is a fabulous piece of jewellery. But if I was to get the same ring, it would swamp my hand as I have slimmer fingers.

Nothing ruins a lovely ring faster than when it doesn't suit the woman's hand, imho.

eviltwin · 08-03-2012 3:25pm

I don't have an engagement ring. I'm not into rings anyway but we really couldn't afford it and everything was on a budget so I told him to hang onto his money and put it into the wedding instead.

I think if you are going into marriage with a list of "must haves" then you need to ask yourself what you want. A marriage or a wedding?

By all means have the most expensive ring in the shop if you can afford it but not having one or going cheap on it doesn't mean your relationship will be any less valid/romantic/special or successful.

cynder · 08-03-2012 9:49pm

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't have an engagement ring. I'm not into rings anyway but we really couldn't afford it and everything was on a budget so I told him to hang onto his money and put it into the wedding instead.

I think if you are going into marriage with a list of "must haves" then you need to ask yourself what you want. A marriage or a wedding?

By all means have the most expensive ring in the shop if you can afford it but not having one or going cheap on it doesn't mean your relationship will be any less valid/romantic/special or successful.

That was my mom, she was with my dad for 30 years before he died and she never had a wedding ring, let alone an engagement ring. They got married when i was 8 or 9 (i was the youngest), i think she does feel hard done by, if he could afford to by a boat or spend 60 pound a week on alcohol (im 30 so your talking a couple of decades ago) he could have saved up for some sort of ring.

Acoshla · 08-03-2012 10:10pm

Further to inheriting my engagement ring I have now found out I am also getting my grandmother's eternity ring as my wedding ring...all 7 diamonds of it :eek: I put it on and nearly died when I saw how shiny the whole lot was, I was happy to buy a €400 plain band, so I don't know how well I'll deal with the shiny one, might try it on a few times and see. I'm already sick of jewellers and other women making the most vapid materialistic comments about my rings and diamond rings in general, afraid the two rings together might make it worse! I'd also be afraid people will think I'm one of them women who had the lists of demands re: diamonds and flashy wedding stuff.

Fluorescence · 09-03-2012 12:22pm

Acoshla wrote: »

Further to inheriting my engagement ring I have now found out I am also getting my grandmother's eternity ring as my wedding ring...all 7 diamonds of it :eek: I put it on and nearly died when I saw how shiny the whole lot was, I was happy to buy a €400 plain band, so I don't know how well I'll deal with the shiny one, might try it on a few times and see. I'm already sick of jewellers and other women making the most vapid materialistic comments about my rings and diamond rings in general, afraid the two rings together might make it worse! I'd also be afraid people will think I'm one of them women who had the lists of demands re: diamonds and flashy wedding stuff.

Just say, "Family heirloom" and feck the begrudgers!

Maple · 09-03-2012 12:36pm

Acoshla wrote: »

Further to inheriting my engagement ring I have now found out I am also getting my grandmother's eternity ring as my wedding ring...all 7 diamonds of it :eek: I put it on and nearly died when I saw how shiny the whole lot was, I was happy to buy a €400 plain band, so I don't know how well I'll deal with the shiny one, might try it on a few times and see. I'm already sick of jewellers and other women making the most vapid materialistic comments about my rings and diamond rings in general, afraid the two rings together might make it worse! I'd also be afraid people will think I'm one of them women who had the lists of demands re: diamonds and flashy wedding stuff.

Who cares what they think? It's your ring, it's what's important to you that matters. Not some daft judgemental twat.

Cedrus · 09-03-2012 1:05pm

This is a great thread with all sorts of views, some posters have aid tribute to their partners in ways that jewellery could never do.

My tuppence worth

Love what you have.

It is impossible to be sure that diamonds are not blood or conflict diamonds, the kimberley process is a failure.

Diamonds are beautiful but savagely overpriced. Anyone who thinks they are an investment should try getting a good price selling them, Jewellers will give you a fantastic valuation for insurance but ask a broker for actual cash and the price is shockingly low.

evilmonkee · 09-03-2012 3:18pm

Cedrus wrote: »

It is impossible to be sure that diamonds are not blood or conflict diamonds, the kimberley process is a failure.

While agreeing the Kimberley process has a million loopholes, I do disagree with the other statement above.
By buying a lab created diamond you can be 100% sure that your diamond is not a product of the dirty side of the jewel trade.
These diamonds are created artificially while still possessing all the chemical and aesthetic features of a mined one, however these diamonds cannot be a product of conflict and do not cause the same level of environmental damage.

Cedrus · 09-03-2012 4:44pm

evilmonkee wrote: »

While agreeing the Kimberley process has a million loopholes, I do disagree with the other statement above.
By buying a lab created diamond you can be 100% sure that your diamond is not a product of the dirty side of the jewel trade.
These diamonds are created artificially while still possessing all the chemical and aesthetic features of a mined one, however these diamonds cannot be a product of conflict and do not cause the same level of environmental damage.

Sorry, I forgot Synthetic Diamonds, it would of course be feasible for these to have full traceability, some who value diamonds a bit too much, do not feel the same about these though.
I wouldn't be so sure about their environmental impact as they take a lot of energy to produce.

mylittlepony · 11-03-2012 12:57pm

A simple Birthstone ring would be lovely and even combining 'his and her' birthstones on a ring, i think lovely and romantic.
Or a Claddagh ring with birthstone(s) as the heart peice.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=Birth+Stones+ring&start=144&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=511&tbm=isch&tbnid=AA4_HRPFPHkRrM:&imgrefurl=http://birthstonering.edu.ms/engraved-birthstone-ring/doc_267.html&docid=bMG7yL1Rf3wUJM&imgurl=http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/63/92/11/19/0063921119609_500X500.jpg&w=500&h=500&ei=WZRcT6vFDInF0QX056DRDQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=391&sig=109139188000658055351&page=11&tbnh=152&tbnw=165&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:144&tx=38&ty=58

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=Birth+Stones+ring&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=511&tbm=isch&tbnid=7ZWQ_l0M0nDzFM:&imgrefurl=http://www.maasinfotech24x7.com/live/diamondtreasure.com/index.php%3Fmain_page%3Dindex%26cPath%3D8&docid=p_3IOYqLKj3OcM&imgurl=http://www.maasinfotech24x7.com/live/diamondtreasure.com/images/categories/couples-birthstone-ring.gif&w=300&h=300&ei=95NcT6SsBqad0AWflpTkDQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=78&sig=109139188000658055351&page=4&tbnh=142&tbnw=142&start=40&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:40&tx=65&ty=27

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQiT5M9uWQjjnoN-lDEEwT4AfDk841QwBRFXzdFsjlLKDyv313Aiw

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQiT5M9uWQjjnoN-lDEEwT4AfDk841QwBRFXzdFsjlLKDyv313Aiw

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTZOuEJf3Fo5S_Ao7CkQE9jDzqLNVlSKEQFRdt-2UHIrGLEH1aKUg

http://gifts.personalcreations.com/gifts/18k-over-sterling-silver-family-birthstone-claddagh-ring-30051675

Linguo · 11-03-2012 1:38pm

They're really cute I've never seen them before!!

What about something totally mad but really cool like this?:D

Fluorescence · 22-03-2012 8:12pm

I saw this picture on Facebook earlier and immediately thought of this thread. Now THIS is the kind of quirky rings I would go for if I were into the whole marriage thing

420092_311689685533529_249435905092241_797085_874374567_n.jpg

Engagement rings: Diamonds & Vanity?

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