Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

How do Nurses deal with patient's erections?

Options
2

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    Marcus.Aurelius
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭Marcus.Aurelius


    I think it's quite unusual for a patient to get an erection in the middle of an exam, female nurse/doctor or male nurse/doctor. I can remember a colleague managed to make a female patient climax, I don't think he will ever be allowed to forget it.

    Ever.


  • Options
    #33
    Rhyme
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 8,561 Mod ✭✭✭✭Rhyme


    They insert a glass catheter and then shatter it... oh wait, that was Josef Mengele. My bad.


  • Options
    #34
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Caesar Augustus wrote: »
    I think it's quite unusual for a patient to get an erection in the middle of an exam, female nurse/doctor or male nurse/doctor. I can remember a colleague managed to make a female patient climax, I don't think he will ever be allowed to forget it.

    Ever.

    Was his name Elliot Reid by any chance? :pac:



  • Options
    #35
    Mimojo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,014 ✭✭✭Mimojo


    You have gotta love the threads that are started on boards...ledge!

    My friend used to work as a nurses aid in a nursing home, said it happened all the time, and there was nothing she could do except not get embarrassed!


  • Options
    #36
    Marcus.Aurelius
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭Marcus.Aurelius


    Millicent wrote: »
    Was his name Elliot Reid by any chance? :pac:

    The coincidence would have been pleasing, but no.

    :pac:


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    hellyeah
    Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭hellyeah


    Millicent wrote: »
    Was his name Elliot Reid by any chance? :pac:



    she could sort out my boner anytime.:rolleyes:


  • Options
    #38
    dubtom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,084 ✭✭✭dubtom


    Caesar Augustus wrote: »
    I think it's quite unusual for a patient to get an erection in the middle of an exam, female nurse/doctor or male nurse/doctor. I can remember a colleague managed to make a female patient climax, I don't think he will ever be allowed to forget it.

    Ever.
    Really not enough info there Caesar.

    I had an exam once from a very cute surgeon,late 20's probably, right below my ball sac, on the inside of my leg actually. She had planned to operate but things came to ahead and she decided to do the dirty there and then. She called in another Doctor,and a male and female nurse. The doctor and female nurse held me down,the male nurse held my balls and the surgeon did her thing. It was a gratifying experience for all of us when she's finished even though there was a bit of a mess. Unfortunately my manhood shrunk to a miniscule size as soon as she started but they didn't laugh. :o


  • Options
    #39
    Stephen
    Registered Users Posts: 18,484 ✭✭✭✭Stephen


    If I learned anything from There's Somthing About Mary, its that you don't go into these situations with a loaded gun :D


  • Options
    #40
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Stephen wrote: »
    If I learned anything from There's Somthing About Mary, its that you don't go into these situations with a loaded gun :D

    Tell that to the organ that controls the brain.....;)


  • Options
    #41
    johnmcdnl
    Registered Users Posts: 3,739 ✭✭✭johnmcdnl


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    The suck them off.

    so that's why the woman wants to be a nurse so badly :(


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #42
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Dr. No wrote: »
    Thankfully I have never come across a patient
    :pac:


  • Options
    #43
    Dr. No
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭Dr. No


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    :pac:
    You have me there:D


  • Options
    #44
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

    /wipes tear

    The table is such a convenient height for such an occasion too....

    Anyhoo, OP, sounds like he got his money's worth.


  • Options
    #45
    vibe666
    Registered Users Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    my stepdad told me a story from when he was in his 20's and exactly that had happened to him when a pretty nurse had been examining him.

    he wasn't quite sure what to do about it, but the matron had poked her head behind the curtain and seen his problem and came marching in with a cotton wool ball dipped in ether and just tapped the end of his lad with it and he said that it disappeared instantly.

    not sure if they still do it or not, but it was apparently very effective at solving the problem. :)


  • Options
    #46
    rossie1977
    Registered Users Posts: 11,341 ✭✭✭✭rossie1977


    Mimojo wrote: »
    My friend used to work as a nurses aid in a nursing home, said it happened all the time, and there was nothing she could do except not get embarrassed!

    happened all the time in a nursing home, wtf


  • Options
    #47
    Mimojo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,014 ✭✭✭Mimojo


    rossie1977 wrote: »
    happened all the time in a nursing home, wtf

    Seriously...lots of elderly men got "a little excited" to see a young girl coming to their assistance...Some of the stories she had were seriously funny!


  • Options
    #48
    gurramok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 ✭✭✭✭gurramok


    I dunno, maybe its got to do with the lack of professionalism by the patient?

    A friend of mine got examined years ago by a female specialist on testicular cancer and never once got an erection despite him saying she looked like Brooke Shields in a nurses uniform and no he didn't catch the ghey :p:)


  • Options
    #49
    vibe666
    Registered Users Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    i guess it just depends what gets you going.

    my sister works in nursing homes for people with mental disabilities and she has lots of stories about that kind of thing, but pretty much nothing fazes her at this stage and plenty of stuff she has to deal with would shock most people.


  • Options
    #50
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    the girls from st michaels house used to bring in some of the people for lunch to the pub i work in. sometimes i used to see the girls slapping the lads on the lap and couldnt work out why til i actually asked one of them
    its to kill the erection in their pricks


  • Options
    #51
    vibe666
    Registered Users Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    now that really is spanking the monkey. :D


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #52
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Had a mate that got a boner while having a medical for a job, with a local female GP.

    This could be bull****, we always slagged him that it was, but he was adamant that it was true.

    So apparently, she was examining him and he got hard, she got a small little metal hammer and tapped the base of his cock, just where the scrotum begins, and straight away it just went down -- "like air out of a tyre" -- and then she just smiled and said: "Don't be embarrassed, it's quite common for that to happen, it's the warm hands that do it".

    He swears that happened :confused:


  • Options
    #53
    gurramok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 ✭✭✭✭gurramok


    How is slapping on the lap by the female nurses suppose to ahem reduce the blood pressure down under?

    I'd thought it would of pre-empted an unavoidable explosion like Krakatoa?!


  • Options
    #54
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Had a mate that got a boner while having a medical for a job, with a local female GP.

    This could be bull****, we always slagged him that it was, but he was adamant that it was true.

    So apparently, she was examining him and he got hard, she got a small little metal hammer and tapped the base of his cock, just where the scrotum begins, and straight away it just went down -- "like air out of a tyre" -- and then she just smiled and said: "Don't be embarrassed, it's quite common for that to happen, it's the warm hands that do it".

    He swears that happened :confused:

    What kind of job means that you get felt up by a nurse before you start?

    (Have jobs.ie on standby on my 2nd tab)


  • Options
    #55
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Worked as a health care assitant and a nursing student in hospitals and nursing homes and I never encountered this and never heard anyone say that they had either. Bit of a myth I'm afraid, boys.

    Outlaw, Dr.s don't keep little metal willy hammers about their person, just in case. Your mate was definitely lying. He should stick to "Carry On" movies.


  • Options
    #56
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Worked as a health care assitant and a nursing student in hospitals and nursing homes and I encountered this every day. It happened so often, I often had to call a second nurse in to help.

    Oh, Matron!


  • Options
    #57
    gurramok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 ✭✭✭✭gurramok


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    Oh, Matron!

    Behave yourself, matrons went out with the Indians!


  • Options
    #58
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    vibe666 wrote: »
    i guess it just depends what gets you going.

    my sister works in nursing homes for people with mental disabilities and she has lots of stories about that kind of thing, but pretty much nothing fazes her at this stage and plenty of stuff she has to deal with would shock most people.

    Dimentia is looking so much more able to deal with now if it happens!


  • Options
    #59
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Latchy wrote: »
    It was quite common in hospitals for the porters ( pre-op ) to be called upon to shave the male patients down there so unintended erections were usually in the minority .

    What about the post-op porters?


  • Options
    #60
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

    /wipes tear

    rubbing my hands on my thighs was a dead give away though


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #61
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    (Have jobs.ie on standby on my 2nd tab)

    Crane driver, from what I remember :)


Advertisement