Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Marrying A Catholic

Options
  • 15-04-2008 4:59pm
    #1
    jasonb
    Registered Users Posts: 3,313 ✭✭✭


    Hi there,

    My Fiancée is Catholic, and I am not a member of any Religion. We're getting married in September, and at her request we're getting married in a Catholic Church. We're looking into what type of ceremony we'll have ( probably the Nuptial Rite without any Mass ) and obviously we're looking into what Paper Work is needed.

    My fiancée will get her Baptism Cert / Confirmation Cert and Letter of Freedom from the Parish she lived in for most of her life. From what I've seen so far, she has to write to her local bishop to get dispensation to marry me. As far as I know I also have to get proof of Freedom To Marry etc.

    Has anyone got any practical advice on what we actually have to do. I've heard that I have to get a Signed Affidavit, and I've also heard that a letter from my parents will do. How do we find out who her Local Bishop is, and is there some format that we should use when writing a letter to him asking for dispensation? Is there a chance we could be turned down?

    We've already chosen our priest and he's aware of our situation, but he's not the priest in our current parish and he's not the priest in the parish my fiancée is from. I think we have to do the Pre-Nuptial Enquiry with our current Parish Priest, correct?

    I guess I'm just looking for any practical advice. There seems to me a lot out there about what's needed for two catholics to get married, but not too much ( that I can find ) about a catholic marrying a non-catholic. Any help would be appreciated, thanks!

    Jason.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    JCB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭JCB


    jasonb wrote: »
    Hi there,

    My Fiancée is Catholic, and I am not a member of any Religion. We're getting married in September, and at her request we're getting married in a Catholic Church. We're looking into what type of ceremony we'll have ( probably the Nuptial Rite without any Mass ) and obviously we're looking into what Paper Work is needed.

    My fiancée will get her Baptism Cert / Confirmation Cert and Letter of Freedom from the Parish she lived in for most of her life. From what I've seen so far, she has to write to her local bishop to get dispensation to marry me. As far as I know I also have to get proof of Freedom To Marry etc.

    Has anyone got any practical advice on what we actually have to do. I've heard that I have to get a Signed Affidavit, and I've also heard that a letter from my parents will do. How do we find out who her Local Bishop is, and is there some format that we should use when writing a letter to him asking for dispensation? Is there a chance we could be turned down?

    We've already chosen our priest and he's aware of our situation, but he's not the priest in our current parish and he's not the priest in the parish my fiancée is from. I think we have to do the Pre-Nuptial Enquiry with our current Parish Priest, correct?

    I guess I'm just looking for any practical advice. There seems to me a lot out there about what's needed for two catholics to get married, but not too much ( that I can find ) about a catholic marrying a non-catholic. Any help would be appreciated, thanks!

    Jason.

    Hi Jason - congratulations on the wedding!

    There is another thread similar here about non-catholics and catholics getting married.

    Generally, as you know both parties need letters of freedom from parishes they've lived in for a significant period of time. I wouldn't imagine it's different for non-catholics either.

    About the dispensation, I would have expected the priest who is to marry you would seek the dispensation. Is your priest from your fiancee's diocese?

    Here is a link with a list of the dioceses in Ireland which may be of help:
    http://www.catholicireland.net/pages/index.php?nd=60

    I don't see that there would be any problems for you getting married. It's not that unusual.

    God Bless:)


  • Options
    #3
    jasonb
    Registered Users Posts: 3,313 ✭✭✭jasonb


    Thanks JCB!

    That other thread is slightly worrying, it basically seems to say that Catholics and non-catholics can't get married in a church ( well, it says that until the last couple of messages anyhow ).

    However, I got information from Accord that states :

    'If you are marrying somebody who is a baptised member of another Christian Church, another Religious Faith or of no religion you must write to your local bishop for permission or dispensation'

    This sentence suggests to me that we can get married in a church. However, the same information from Accord also states that we need to have a Baptism Cert / Confirmation Cert and Freedom to Marry Documentation. As a non-Catholic, there's no point me going to the many previous parishes to get Proof of Freedom to marry, and I don't have a Baptism Cert etc. So what do I need to bring to the Pre-Nuptial Meeting? Is a letter of dispensation enough to cover all needs?

    J.


  • Options
    #4
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,399 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    jasonb wrote: »
    This sentence suggests to me that we can get married in a church.
    Yes, I believe that you can get married -- I think that all you need yourself is the bishop's "letter of dispensation" and your gf's equivalent, and you should be ok to go.

    You should bear in mind, though, that as part of the ceremony, you will be required to promise that your kids will be instructed in the catholic religion. If you are irreligious yourself or are suspicious about the catholic church, you should think about how that will make you feel. It will be no fun, for example, in five years time if your wife will be heading off to church with the kids, while you're staying at home for the morning, or compelled to go along for the sake of unity, when you don't really want to. Same goes for schooling -- would you be happy sending your kids to a school controlled by one church or another?

    Either way, I'd certainly talk about all of these things up front and openly with your gf and make sure in advance that you both know what you're going to do, and that you're both happy doing it. I'd advise you to make some kind of informal note about it too, so that in years to come, you can come back and both make sure that you're both sticking to the agreement that you made. Memories aren't always perfect and you'll probably both save yourselves trouble!


  • Options
    #5
    jasonb
    Registered Users Posts: 3,313 ✭✭✭jasonb


    Thanks robindch...

    Yep, from what I can find online, it looks like as long as I get the 'Disparity of Cult' from the bishop ( and the parish priest should hopefully help me with that ) then I should be ok. My fiancée will have all the paperwork for her ( baptism etc. ).

    As for the ceremony itself, and kids in the future etc., we've discussed that a lot and we'll hopefully be ok. If nothing else I feel confident in our ability to talk about anything that we need to talk about, and that's always a good thing!

    J.


  • Options
    #6
    Soul Winner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,534 ✭✭✭Soul Winner


    jasonb wrote: »
    As for the ceremony itself, and kids in the future etc., we've discussed that a lot and we'll hopefully be ok. If nothing else I feel confident in our ability to talk about anything that we need to talk about, and that's always a good thing!

    J.

    I admire the fact that you decided not to reveal the finer details about these decisions. Well done.

    All the best for the future and congratulations. Hope your wedding day is blessed with joy and sunshine and that your marriage blossoms and your love for each other will continually grow and get stronger as the years roll by.

    God bless.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    jasonb
    Registered Users Posts: 3,313 ✭✭✭jasonb


    Hi Soul Winner,

    Thanks for your kind wishes.

    I didn't go into those details because it's nothing to do with my original post and what my fiancée and I have decided is up to us. This thread is really just to look for practical advice regarding what paper work is needed etc. so we can marry in a Church. So far people have been very supportive and helpful, thanks!

    J.


Advertisement