Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Younger man, older woman (in general)

24567

Comments

  • #32
    Ken Shamrock
    Registered Users Posts: 3,192 ✭✭✭Ken Shamrock


    Joya wrote: »
    not sure it is important for a general discussion but that's me in my avatar.

    Your Avatar is of a ying-yang symbol??


  • #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Bob.Carcass wrote: »
    Your Avatar is of a ying-yang symbol??

    Put your glasses on Bob.


  • #34
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Muise... wrote: »
    Then say so. Be direct and continue the friendship if they want that too. The admiration is a lovely compliment. Put it in your pocket and take it home. Don't put it on the internet for a needy autopsy!

    i understand and i do.. I am quite open and i think to communicate is the best way..
    i started the thread hoping to understand this better as it is effecting me..

    i do analyse motives so was wondering is that just wish for se*ual experience behind it no matter what they say as that is certainly for me not enough to engage..

    and if that would be the case it would make me sad in a way as if there would not be more than that... so yes, question is could guys in that age be genuinely interested in a relationship with someone in age like mine..

    i mean going out as friends is one but also going out as a couple that is a different story, no?


  • #35
    Ken Shamrock
    Registered Users Posts: 3,192 ✭✭✭Ken Shamrock


    Candie wrote: »
    Put your glasses on Bob.

    Haha sorry, it was a minute ago i swear!


  • #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm sure these guys are all individuals and as such don't all want exactly the same thing. If it's a casual encounter or something more, it'll reveal itself soon enough. Less of the navel gazing and more of just living your life would probably be the best approach here.


  • Advertisement
  • #37
    Muise...
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,512 ✭✭✭Muise...


    Joya wrote: »
    i understand and i do.. I am quite open and i think to communicate is the best way..
    i started the thread hoping to understand this better as it is effecting me..

    i do analyse motives so was wondering is that just wish for se*ual experience behind it no matter what they say as that is certainly for me not enough to engage..

    and if that would be the case it would make me sad in a way as if there would not be more than that... so yes, question is could guys in that age be genuinely interested in a relationship with someone in age like mine..

    i mean going out as friends is one but also going out as a couple that is a different story, no?

    The only way to understand what a particular man wants is to ask him. :pac:

    If you're spending that much time analysing, I'd say there's not much desire on your part tbh. If you don't fancy a man to the point of throwing caution to the wind, why agonise over what you think he wants?


  • #38
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    iDave wrote: »
    Your really overthinking this.
    A few guys have had a thing for you and expressed an interest as guys do. I'm sure a lot of lads that are younger are not interested in you one bit.

    absolutely. and thank god it is so.
    because it sets something right inside of me, as in - that is how it should be, that is normal like.

    but if i have for example 10 male friends and 5 of them are behaving in this way (not to say more than 5) then i had to start to question that....

    and just thought hearing peoples thoughts on it may be helpful :)


  • #39
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,357 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    Joya wrote: »
    i understand and i do.. I am quite open and i think to communicate is the best way..
    i started the thread hoping to understand this better as it is effecting me..

    i do analyse motives so was wondering is that just wish for se*ual experience behind it no matter what they say as that is certainly for me not enough to engage..

    and if that would be the case it would make me sad in a way as if there would not be more than that... so yes, question is could guys in that age be genuinely interested in a relationship with someone in age like mine..

    i mean going out as friends is one but also going out as a couple that is a different story, no?

    Nobody is going to be able to answer that for you because every man is different, the guy who is interested in you might only want a one night stand or he might be interested in a relationship, you know him if he is a friend of yours, so you are the only one who can make a decision about this no one can tell you for sure.

    In my experience men don't tend to over think this the way woman do, so I would say he is maybe attracted to you and wants to go out with you and see how it goes, and is not going around thinking about a one night stand verses a relationship.. he just fancies you :)


  • #40
    Ken Shamrock
    Registered Users Posts: 3,192 ✭✭✭Ken Shamrock


    In reality MOST men, or rather ALOT of men regardless of age only want one thing....it has always been the case and will continue to be, unfortunately it is up to you to distinguish between who is actually a friend and who is looking for you know what.

    Count yourself lucky that in your late thirties you are still very attractive and young men are crawling all over you!


  • #41
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I kinda like the idea of going out with an older woman, not least because they seem to find me a lot more attractive than girls my age do. :pac:
    If someone is good-looking, in shape and good craic then I wouldn't be worried if she's a bit older. There's no ulterior motive. If anything someone who goes for an older woman is perhaps leaving themselves more vulnerable if they're going into a relationship with someone with much more experience than them.


  • Advertisement
  • #42
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Muise... wrote: »
    The only way to understand what a particular man wants is to ask him. :pac:

    If you're spending that much time analysing, I'd say there's not much desire on your part tbh. If you don't fancy a man to the point of throwing caution to the wind, why agonise over what you think he wants?

    hahah, fair point : )

    but lets say i of course do find attractive some of them, unfortunately.. but also am thinking would it be just "a waste of time" lol... anyway do not know how to explain it but i do feel a barrier towards this - otherwise i'd just jump into it, wouldn't i........


  • #43
    Birroc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,070 ✭✭✭Birroc


    what age are you?


  • #44
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    mariaalice wrote: »
    In my experience men don't tend to over think this the way woman do, so I would say he is maybe attracted to you and wants to go out with you and see how it goes, and is not going around thinking about a one night stand verses a relationship.. he just fancies you :)

    yes, it could be true, it si a common knowledge that male are "simpler" than woman - however this sounds.. perhaps it would be good for me just to relax and follow my instincts, so IF it comes that some of this would feel right for me at some particular point, i guess then i should just go for it.. till then, i better stay single as i wish to avoid mess :d))

    if they feel hurt cause they are rejected well, i should not feel responsible for it??......


  • #45
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Joya wrote: »
    yes, it could be true, it si a common knowledge that male are "simpler" than woman - however this sounds.. perhaps it would be good for me just to relax and follow my instincts, so IF it comes that some of this would feel right for me at some particular point, i guess then i should just go for it.. till then, i better stay single as i wish to avoid mess :d))

    if they feel hurt cause they are rejected well, i should not feel responsible for it??......

    Run for cover, you've done it now.


  • #46
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Joya wrote: »
    if they feel hurt cause they are rejected well, i should not feel responsible for it??......
    Why feel different than when you reject someone your own age?


  • #47
    Sprog 4
    Registered Users Posts: 434 ✭✭Sprog 4


    Birroc wrote: »
    what age are you?

    Late thirties, but had she not said that I'd have estimated somewhere in the fifties judging form previous posts. Late thirties isn't old by any means and being in a relationship with a 10 year old man is nothing out of the ordinary. Some people are mature for their age and struggle to find partners that are the same age/younger than them.


  • #48
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Why feel different than when you reject someone your own age?

    no i mean, rejecting someone on the base of their age number, but i hope it is a valid reason...

    honestly sometimes I'd think, hey god can you send me someone exactly like this but a bit older please? :d))


  • #49
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Sprog 4 wrote: »
    Late thirties, but had she not said that I'd have estimated somewhere in the fifties judging form previous posts. Late thirties isn't old by any means and being in a relationship with a 10 year old man is nothing out of the ordinary. Some people are mature for their age and struggle to find partners that are the same age/younger than them.

    Oh yes it is!


  • #50
    Sprog 4
    Registered Users Posts: 434 ✭✭Sprog 4


    Candie wrote: »
    Oh yes it is!

    Sorry, 10 years younger man. Mix up :D

    (good job brain)


  • #51
    takamichinoku
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,110 ✭✭✭takamichinoku


    The main issue I'd have with dating someone significantly older than me is how I'd feel like I wouldn't have the right or it would be rude and inconsiderate to go on big "I've wasted my whole life, I'm nearly dead already and what have I done?!" type rants. Never have though so maybe I'd be grand with that.


  • Advertisement
  • #52
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Joya wrote: »
    no i mean, rejecting someone on the base of their age number, but i hope it is a valid reason...

    honestly sometimes I'd think, hey god can you send me someone exactly like this but a bit older please? :d))

    Well I wouldn't tell them it's because of their age because if it was me I probably would be a bit annoyed at you. :P
    I don't get why the age matters quite so much but it's up to yourself in each case like.


  • #53
    Davarus Walrus
    Registered Users Posts: 1,280 ✭✭✭Davarus Walrus


    Know of a lad who pulled an older lady in the Arlington Hotel a couple of years back. Both cross-eyed from drink. Headed back to her place, where he woke up the next morning with a wretched hangover. His lady friend was nowhere to be seen. He headed down the stairs and she was in the kitchen making breakfast. He went to kiss her on the back of the neck, but she told him to stop as her daughter was in the living room. She finished cooking breakfast and called her daughter in to join them. The daughter was a girl he had dated only 4 months earlier and had done the dirt on. Poor lad was mortified.


  • #54
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Sprog 4 wrote: »
    Late thirties, but had she not said that I'd have estimated somewhere in the fifties judging form previous posts. Late thirties isn't old by any means and being in a relationship with a 10 year old man is nothing out of the ordinary. Some people are mature for their age and struggle to find partners that are the same age/younger than them.

    late fifties omg :D hahahhh


  • #55
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Davarus Walrus wrote: »
    Know of a lad who pulled an older lady in the Arlington Hotel a couple of years back. Both cross-eyed from drink. Headed back to her place, where he woke up the next morning with a wretched hangover. His lady friend was nowhere to be seen. He headed down the stairs and she was in the kitchen making breakfast. He went to kiss her on the back of the neck, but she told him to stop as her daughter was in the living room. She finished cooking breakfast and called her daughter in to join them. The daughter was a girl he had dated only 4 months earlier and had done the dirt on. Poor lad was mortified.

    whatta story, as in some comedy movie :d))

    btw yes i have no kids but i could- have a daughter that would be more "suitable" isn't it.. :blush:


  • #56
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    I'm in my late 20s and there are plenty of women in their late 30s that I definitely would. Nothing strange about that in my opinion. Of course, I want kids at some point, so in reality I wouldn't start a relationship with an older woman, but plenty of people aren't interested in kids.


  • #57
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I suppose it's a good thing you're a subscriber Joya, you probably need the extra PM space right now. :P


  • #58
    Knex*
    Registered Users Posts: 22,477 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    I seem to always 'click' better with women older than me by 4 or 5 years, for some reason.

    Usually, they do think I'm older, and I've had occasions where they want to drop whatever was going on when they realise I'm in my early 20's, but for whatever reason I often find that I just feel more comfortable with them.

    In terms of a relationship, I don't think I'd go over 30, though. Right now, anyway. But who knows.


  • #59
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    I'm in my late 20s and there are plenty of women in their late 30s that I definitely would. Nothing strange about that in my opinion. Of course, I want kids at some point, so in reality I wouldn't start a relationship with an older woman, but plenty of people aren't interested in kids.
    thanks for that. so yea, by what i've heard here by now i'd say short term relationship or less is what it is..
    Knex. wrote: »
    I seem to always 'click' better with women older than me by 4 or 5 years, for some reason.
    Usually, they do think I'm older, and I've had occasions where they want to drop whatever was going on when they realise I'm in my early 20's, but for whatever reason I often find that I just feel more comfortable with them.
    In terms of a relationship, I don't think I'd go over 30, though. Right now, anyway. But who knows.
    yes, i think i see that as a more-or-less general attitude.. : ))


  • #60
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Joya wrote: »
    thanks for that. so yea, by what i've heard here by now i'd say short term relationship or less is what it is..

    Not necessarily. Even in cases where it is that, if you knew it going in and were comfortable with it then what's the harm?


  • Advertisement
  • #61
    Joya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,365 ✭✭✭Joya


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Not necessarily. Even in cases where it is that, if you knew it going in and were comfortable with it then what's the harm?

    that i could be hurt?? :d)) i mean i can see that possibility and I do admit I am an emotional being, i cannot just u know, without having a connection etc... i never could really cut emotions from the other involvement if you know what i mean..

    but these "younger generations" perhaps they were and I mean they WERE, brought up differently and being exposed to all kinds of stuff (i hope i am not too generalizing now) so may have a different views on being together with someone and a meaning of it..

    i'd still be thinking, even it is tempting though :)...


Advertisement