Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

I feel really alone and sad, Please help.

  • 22-04-2014 3:51pm
    #1
    PizaMacMuffin
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭


    I woke This morning feeling really down, more so than usual, i was having some dreams last night where i had plenty of good friends (I don't have any friends par one which i talk to online).
    it all started about 7 years ago when I first started secondary school (I'm 19 now), I had one group of friends there but for reasons unknown they started to bully me for example,
    the "leader of the group" would play a game where everyone in the group would ignore me and who ever talked to me first lost the game (this could go for nearly a week before anyone would talk to me),
    another thing they done was call some mornings saying they were down in the shopping centre so i would walk down to them and ring to see where they were but all id here would be laughing as they weren't even there and they done that to simply make me walk down for no reason
    and the worst for me was when the had all the group over at one of their houses they would call me and make it obvious that they invited everyone over except me, and they would start making fun of me as group on loud speaker.
    those are just some of the things that they down and the sad thing is that i stayed with this group of friends until 6th year as they made me feel that I didn't deserve any better friends. In a way I felt like a slave to them, just there to amuse their need to bully someone.

    I can happily say that once I left secondary school and went to college I never talked to them but as a result I now have no real good friends and am very lonely. The course I'm in now is a Video Game Development course which I love greatly partly because I'm around people that have the same interests as me which is a pretty big deal seen as I've been in hanging around with a group of people that were the complete opposite to me most of my life and I'm making the things that make me the most happy. To be honest i find it really hard to make friends no because I always have in the back of my mind all the stuff the other people done to me, most of the time I just want to be alone but at the same time I want to be around people.

    I very rarely drink or go out to nightclubs as like a mentioned before im not too keen an interaction with people but I do smoke a lot of weed to keep my mind off all the bad stuff.
    Most nights I stay up until 5 or 6 in the morning playing video games as I hate sleeping, it means I've to spend time with out anything to distract myself from thinking too much (Which I do a lot, I live inside my head) which is why I love video games as I lets me go into a world I don't need to worry about anything other than killing the pink dragon or blue wizard :P

    I'm not in the position to talk to anyone about this which is why I'm posting here and some advice on where to go next with this would be appreciated. As of now I feel like I need to do something about it as it seems to be getting worse.
    Tagged:


Comments

  • #2
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    I think you need a trip to your GP, followed by some counselling, OP...


  • #3
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    What those teenagers did is extreme, and very unfair. You recognise how cruel and bullying they were.

    I wonder if you've now put up a barrier for a few reasons, possibly but not just (and bear in mind I don't know you or anything about you)

    1) maybe by staying away from making friends you have shielded yourself from this happening again,
    2) you're trying to take control of your loneliness by remaining isolated rather than being ostracised,
    3) you're not confident in your social skills because you didn't get to practice them.

    It's not normal to do what those bullies did. Is there a college counsellor you can talk to?

    There are ways to make friends that you can utilise (meeting up with your classmates, meet up.com, clubs and societies in college), but you may find it easier if you've dealt with your past first.


  • #4
    Irishcailin89
    Registered Users Posts: 25 ✭Irishcailin89


    Just seen your comment, that's terrible what happened to you in school, some people are just as insecure as others and like to pick on people,, I can honestly say I made my good friends today from college and I'm 24 now. Peoples circle of friends change a lot of the time,
    Try and make the most of college, join societies or clubs , great way of meeting people and also you'll meet people who will have common interests as you.


  • #5
    whirlpool
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,574 ✭✭✭whirlpool


    It makes me so sad seeing stories like this. What you experienced in school was not due to any fault of yours and it was not because there was anything wrong with you. But it has caused damage to your emotional health and as a previous poster said a trip to your GP and then a counsellor is really important now. Be completely open with them, too.


  • #6
    Dead Fella
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Dead Fella


    Feeling alone and sad are things I'm well acquainted with and they do suck much much ass. I don't know the details of your personal situation other than what you have already shared and well done for doing so as well, that small but significant action all on its own shows you know something’s not right and you've taken one step towards tackling it.

    In my opinion the first and best thing you can do for yourself to begin with is breaking the isolation you’re in. It doesn't have to be anything big just something that puts in or around other people. I know that sounds a bit naff but I know that isolation will only compound the problem; isolation is really bad for your health.

    I could give you reams more advice but I don't know how relevant much of it would be to you, if you feel comfortable with it send me a private message and maybe we can have a chat.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Hi OP,

    it does sound like you've been through a tough time of it in school, and that the resulting feelings have never really resolved themselves for you.

    The first thing I would recommend though would be to lay off the weed, particularly if you are depending on it to avoid thinking about the issue. From your post it only seems to be a temporary stopgap, and as you are finding out, the original issue is not going away.

    You mention that you are currently partaking in a Video Game Development course - is this course being held in a 3rd level facility? If so, have you thought of seeing if they have a student counsellor available? I think that talking this out with someone who is trained to help would be very beneficial for you, and it certainly would be the kind of issue that they would have encountered before.


  • #8
    skooterblue2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,816 ✭✭✭skooterblue2


    I know what that is ...... I was in the same positions in the same college 16 years ago. What you have should have been spotted in Primary school. Your IT will have to act on it for legal reasons. So you know I know your college, you have purple This particular IT is consistently the worst offender according to a top psychologist. If they spot it they will have to pay for your treatment and assessment. hurray !!! they just saved €2,500 by not diagnosing you and giving you the appropriate treatment. I know because I had words with the HoD and he said "Well really we are not qualified to diagnose it", rubbish they are more than qualified to spot it because about half of them have it. Many of your lecturers have it including you course director.

    I tried to get my GP to see it and she said it wasn't it. She even refused to read a psychologist report (cost €500). Here is the kicker. When I forced her to write a letter for further support ... first she spelt the condition wrong and then she had to ask me how to spell it. It is not a GP thing to spot this. Her solutions was more pills.

    While I tried to repeat my course 3 years ago and spotted another student had the same thing. I wasnt diagnosed until afterwards. I am 6 months into treatment and feeling the best ever in 18 years.

    The good news is when you get this diagnosed you get an ANSWER. Everything will have an explanation.


Advertisement