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Approaching a Girl in the Street

  • 05-03-2012 7:38pm
    #1


    We've seen this happen all the time in romcoms - guy walks up to girl/girl walks up to guy they don't know and sparks a conversation, eventually leading to an invite for a coffee/pint/whatever. Seemingly this works all the time in the movies, but have any guys here actually tried it and, if so, what happened?

    Humorous stories welcome!


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    It happened to me before. He was "from out of town" and needed directions to a pub, maybe I should join him. I kinda laughed and said no.

    I'm very shy though! I never even said yes to dates with guys I met in clubs.
    I guess it could work depending on the girl! It just caught me off guard, and I remember I was coming from the gym and looked like crap, no was was I going to the pub, think that was the main thought in my mind!


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,145 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    It happened to me before. He was "from out of town" and needed directions to a pub, maybe I should join him. I kinda laughed and said no.

    I'm very shy though! I never even said yes to dates with guys I met in clubs.
    I guess it could work depending on the girl! It just caught me off guard, and I remember I was coming from the gym and looked like crap, no was was I going to the pub, think that was the main thought in my mind!

    "Why hi there Princess Peach. I'm looking for a particular pub and some company........ perhaps you would like to join me?"

    - "Thank you stranger......... but your princess is in another boozer!!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Haven't been approached on the street by any (sober) men but I did while I was waiting at the bus stop and it freaked me out to be honest cos the guy ended up sitting next to me on the bus and I really wasn't interested but he didn't get the hint!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,983 ✭✭✭Raminahobbin


    It's really weird lads. It's common in America AFAIK, but not so much here. A friend of mine is living there at the moment, and gets asked frequently for her number by random guys. I don't know any girl who would go for it here since it's very out of the blue, but it does make us feel good! :D

    I was in a bookshop and afterwards, while crossing a nearby bridge, a guy fell into step with me and struck up a conversation about the book he'd seen me buy. He then asked me to go to the cinema with him that weekend! I declined, as a default 'stranger alert' reaction, but looking back I think I should have gone for it! If it happened tomorrow, I think I'd still say no though. It's just too unexpected!

    I also had a guy trying 'The Game' out on me in the Jervis Centre before. He was trying to do the insult compliment thing they describe in the book and hook me in with some other techniques, but he just insulted me a bit too much and REALLY annoyed me so I told him to fcuk off and stormed off.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    We've seen this happen all the time in romcoms - guy walks up to girl/girl walks up to guy they don't know and sparks a conversation, eventually leading to an invite for a coffee/pint/whatever. Seemingly this works all the time in the movies, but have any guys here actually tried it and, if so, what happened?

    Humorous stories welcome!
    I think women get weak at the knees or certainly wishy for this stuff, though when presented with it in RL most of them think you're possible loons, no offence. They are aren't being nasty, if a film pans out the right way that's one thing, in RL, the chick knows nothing of you. It's smart to be cautious.

    That said, if I was a single gal and he seemed genuine, I'd have a drink with with a guy that seemed nice and was brave enough to say something (:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    I think a lot of women will encourage the idea of the cold-approach, but the reality is usually a lot different. Those rom coms have a lot to answer for.

    It happened to me at a bus stop once and another time on the street where some dude went from asking directions to asking me out in about 2.5 seconds. It made me smile in hindsight, but to be honest at the time my instinct was just to get away as fast as possible, as if I was trying to escape a chugger or something. It's just that caught-offguard thing, we don't have a culture of it so you don't expect it and it can be a little intimidating.

    In Canada, it's different. Not as mad as the States but a hell of a lot more common. It's happened me a few times in the subway station, once in the mall and once even in the supermarket! And not because I'm some big ride or anything, it's just the done thing! It usually goes - prolonged eye contact, they move themselves closer to you and ask about train times/opening or closing times or comment on the weather, mundane stuff. The most interesting one was probably the guy who sat beside me on the subway, asked for directions to a certain street, I gave him directions, he asked if I was single, asked for my number and then got off five stops too early!


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Happened me with a guy in a shop I had been in a few times. I said yes and we had a fun few weeks :)




  • Hm. I'm quite tempted to try it now and see what happens. It would be an interesting experience/experiment.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,128 ✭✭✭✭MadYaker


    Never tried it but id say a waste of time tbh. Stranger danger kicks in.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭py2006


    It is not something I would ever do but from what I hear, you are more than likely to freak out an Irish girl. Apparently, Russian girls are more appreciative of this approach. But don't quote me, I am no expert. I'd come across as a nervous wreck if I tried it.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Hm. I'm quite tempted to try it now and see what happens. It would be an interesting experience/experiment.
    Go for it, I was on cloud nine after it! An American friend of mine loved it as it happens regularly over there! I didn't think he was a freak but I was well shocked, I couldn't string a sentence together and for me that's no easy task!




  • What is it that makes us like that though? I mean, it's only recently that online dating has become somewhat acceptable over here. What makes us so afraid of meeting people in somewhat unconventional means?


  • Administrators Posts: 53,127 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Starokan


    Tried it once years back encouraged by my mates, failed miserably, i saw the look of abject horror on her face as i began my ill fated charm offensive :pac:

    At the time I felt like chucking myself in the liffey but looking back it was pretty funny, i totally lost my nerve and was just babbling some incoherent nonsense to her. Id say she thought i was let out for the day or something :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    What is it that makes us like that though? I mean, it's only recently that online dating has become somewhat acceptable over here. What makes us so afraid of meeting people in somewhat unconventional means?

    Same reason masturbation is dirty! It's not something we have talked about or done a lot so it's new!


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,145 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Pembily wrote: »
    Same reason masturbation is dirty! It's not something we have talked about or done a lot so it's new!

    ................

    You must be new here.........


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    ................

    You must be new here.........

    I didn't mean masturbation, I meant asking out randomly!


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,128 ✭✭✭✭MadYaker


    Seems strange that it would scare irish girls considering plenty are quite happy to have sex with some lad they met for the first time in a club 2 hours beforehand...

    Granted there is alcohol involved in that situation but I've been brought home by 1 or 2 sober ones.


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,145 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    MadYaker wrote: »
    Seems strange that it would scare irish girls considering plenty are quite happy to have sex with some lad they met for the first time in a club 2 hours beforehand...

    Well this is the thing isn't it? A lot of irish girls seem to think they're above guys talking to them and such and a lot of them (not all of them of course) have a very skewed view of things!

    Girl: "Hey, you know that good looking guy? Well I got his number and I rang him last night at 3am on a private number and just kept quiet! When he answered it sounded like he was alone so he must be single! But i wasn't sure so I found out where he lived and went around to his house to see if there was more than one car outside but there wasn't!

    So then I found out where he worked and turned up outside his job as he left to try and strike up a conversation with him but I missed him. Perhaps i'll just send him some anonymous texts and see if he'd be interested in me!

    Friend: "Oh my God, that's so clever! He'd be crazy not to go out with you anyway, that's so romantic"

    Girl: "Yeah i know. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened today. You know that ugly guy who fancies me? Well......... He said HELLO to me today as I walked past him"

    Friend: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A STALKER!!!!!!!!"


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,128 ✭✭✭✭MadYaker


    Thats a bit of an exaggeration. I've never really had trouble talking to girls, although a lot of people say I don't know when to shut the f*ck up! Irish girls always seems fairly down to earth. Certain other nationalities are much less so....


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭py2006


    MrStuffins wrote: »

    Girl: "Yeah i know. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened today. You know that ugly guy who fancies me? Well......... He said HELLO to me today as I walked past him"

    Friend: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A STALKER!!!!!!!!"

    haha, no at that stage he is just a "creep". The next phase is the stalker one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    MrStuffins wrote: »

    Girl: "Hey, you know that good looking guy? Well I got his number and I rang him last night at 3am on a private number and just kept quiet! When he answered it sounded like he was alone so he must be single! But i wasn't sure so I found out where he lived and went around to his house to see if there was more than one car outside but there wasn't!

    So then I found out where he worked and turned up outside his job as he left to try and strike up a conversation with him but I missed him. Perhaps i'll just send him some anonymous texts and see if he'd be interested in me!

    Friend: "Oh my God, that's so clever! He'd be crazy not to go out with you anyway, that's so romantic"

    I don't know a single Irish girl who carries on like this.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    What you mean they all have boyfriends?

    :D


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 4,643 Mod ✭✭✭✭Daisies


    I'd like to think I'd be flattered and would accept but in reality I would probably panic and say no.

    Now if it was someone who I saw regularly on the street/ where I get my coffee etc I'd be much more open to it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,295 ✭✭✭Joe10000


    As my missus always says to questions like this, "it depends what they look like".

    Well dressed good looking bloke will give the girl a nice story to tell and she may even have said yes, beardy unkempt bloke will have her calling 999.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,697 ✭✭✭seenitall


    What is it that makes us like that though? I mean, it's only recently that online dating has become somewhat acceptable over here. What makes us so afraid of meeting people in somewhat unconventional means?

    The downside of living in a still fairly traditional society where a lot of the “proper ways of doing things" are still hanging on for dear life, and consequently the mindset is difficult to shift to a new approach (that's just my opinion as an outsider.)

    Happened to me in Ireland a few times, though, most memorably when I was approached by a guy on a street while I was reading a notice in a shop window. He was mumbling something about whatever I was reading about, seemed like a nice enough guy. (I have to add a caveat here that he has a very laid-back and non-threatening stance/body language, which must have swayed me toward saying yes to going to cinema with him that evening! :eek:).

    Anyway, roll on 10 years and he is a valued friend and vice versa, I think! :) (However, and probably what you are wondering, it never went any further than friendship. ;))

    It takes cojones to do that in Ireland IMO, so fair play if you do it, BABM. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,145 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    beks101 wrote: »
    I don't know a single Irish girl who carries on like this.

    Lucky you!

    Also, I was exaggerating a bit but you get the idea.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,058 ✭✭✭Sarn


    MadYaker wrote: »
    Seems strange that it would scare irish girls considering plenty are quite happy to have sex with some lad they met for the first time in a club 2 hours beforehand...

    I think it comes down to the state of mind that a person is in when they're approached. In a club, the thought that you could end up with someone at the end of the night is there, whereas on the street you could be thinking about what you need to pick up in the shops or that you're running late for work. Being asked out a million miles away. In America, at least the expectation that this might happen is there.

    Being approached while preoccupied probably throws most people, especially when it's not really a done thing here. On the other hand, if you catch someone at the right moment, while they're having a coffee at the table next to you, chances would probably be a little bit better.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 91 ✭✭southernstar


    one time a friend of mine went up and gave his business card to this hot asian girl in front of a group of us.

    Later on one of the lads got his wife to call him - pretending to be her. This escalated and continued all night. At one point I was in the cubicle in a pub calling him ( in a ridiculous falsetto Vietnamese accent) and he was ten foot away through the bathroom door ernestly trying to get her to meet. We had him going from pub to pub - going up to every asian chick in every pub we went to.

    He only copped it when we asked him to go to Wagammama around 2 am.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10 jeep37


    If you're a 'hot' guy, you'll be seen as courageous and romantic. If you're around average-looking or worse, CREEP.
    MadYaker wrote: »
    Irish girls always seems fairly down to earth. Certain other nationalities are much less so....

    Have you ingested psychedelic substances or are you a woman in disguise?


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