Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

I went to see a dermatologist about getting self harm scars removed (I'm not actually too bothered but I'm starting a primary teaching degree and don't want the kids to see the scars on my arm, the rest are hidden so it's okay). She prescribed a silicone cream for some of them and recommended a surgeon to get a skin graft for the rest. Has anyone ever had anything like this done before?

Entirely hypothetical situation & I apologise if its triggery. It's a q about self destructive behaviour and I would just like an opinion on something.

Person A confesses to person B that they have been self harming. How should person B react? Background person A has previous episodes, is in counselling but is reverting to old habits after a stressful encounter.

1) ask them not to do it & essentially shame them into not doing it by playing the guilt card or making them feel bad about their behaviours
2) recognise what they're doing but suggest they do it safely (ie clean cuts, use plasters, etc)

In my mind 1) is potentially gonna cause tension. If person A does self harm they may feel worse knowing they've gone against the wishes of person B.

But does 2) count as enabling self destructive behaviour?

How SHOULD one react? What is the reaction people would like from a friend/confidant?

My current attitude is a combination of 1 and 2 with an element of distraction/implementation of other coping mechanisms. I suggest they go for a walk, or do whatever they normally do as a distraction/comfort. Failing that I suggest they take note of what they're feeling and try to talk about it at next session. I remind them that self destructive behaviours is exactly that - destructive. I never say "please don't do it, for me, for <insert random reason>. Then I say if they have to do it after exhausting all other options to make sure they're safe - clean, can stop bleeding etc, and know who to contact if it goes wrong. I am very conscious that (from personal experience) it is the hardest thing to admit to someone you want to engage in self destructive behaviour, and sometimes you just need to know someone cares or whatever. So I don't like tho whole "it's stupid/you're stupid/it's wrong" attitude as that will result in them having a negative experience & make them less likely to open up in the future.

I would be interested in hearing people's opinions on this. I just want to be the best support to my friends as possible & am conscious that what I would personally like may not be what other people would want.

Make sense? Insomnia does weird things...

Non hypothetical situation. Real life situation. Me. The past few days/weeks. After many, many sleepless nights of deliberating whether I should talk to real life friends (ie not therapist) about some of the stupid things I've been doing, I decided to confide in a friend what's gone on. I was reminded how stupid my behaviour is & how selfish I am. It really put me off telling anyone really what's going on. I don't know what I wanted or expected - support maybe? Instead I was left feeling worse and the net result is that I doubt I will ever see that person in the same light again.

Am I just over thinking and being over sensitive?

carly_86 wrote: »

I have been really depressed lately the doc gave me tablets and a few hours ago i took around 10 i am shaking and sweating wat should i do i just wanna b happy

You need medical advice. Ring your doc or go to your local pharmacy. If they can't help go to a&e.

Hersheys wrote: »

Entirely hypothetical situation & I apologise if its triggery. It's a q about self destructive behaviour and I would just like an opinion on something.

Person A confesses to person B that they have been self harming. How should person B react? Background person A has previous episodes, is in counselling but is reverting to old habits after a stressful encounter.

1) ask them not to do it & essentially shame them into not doing it by playing the guilt card or making them feel bad about their behaviours
2) recognise what they're doing but suggest they do it safely (ie clean cuts, use plasters, etc)

In my mind 1) is potentially gonna cause tension. If person A does self harm they may feel worse knowing they've gone against the wishes of person B.

But does 2) count as enabling self destructive behaviour?

How SHOULD one react? What is the reaction people would like from a friend/confidant?

My current attitude is a combination of 1 and 2 with an element of distraction/implementation of other coping mechanisms. I suggest they go for a walk, or do whatever they normally do as a distraction/comfort. Failing that I suggest they take note of what they're feeling and try to talk about it at next session. I remind them that self destructive behaviours is exactly that - destructive. I never say "please don't do it, for me, for <insert random reason>. Then I say if they have to do it after exhausting all other options to make sure they're safe - clean, can stop bleeding etc, and know who to contact if it goes wrong. I am very conscious that (from personal experience) it is the hardest thing to admit to someone you want to engage in self destructive behaviour, and sometimes you just need to know someone cares or whatever. So I don't like tho whole "it's stupid/you're stupid/it's wrong" attitude as that will result in them having a negative experience & make them less likely to open up in the future.

I would be interested in hearing people's opinions on this. I just want to be the best support to my friends as possible & am conscious that what I would personally like may not be what other people would want.

Make sense? Insomnia does weird things...

Non hypothetical situation. Real life situation. Me. The past few days/weeks. After many, many sleepless nights of deliberating whether I should talk to real life friends (ie not therapist) about some of the stupid things I've been doing, I decided to confide in a friend what's gone on. I was reminded how stupid my behaviour is & how selfish I am. It really put me off telling anyone really what's going on. I don't know what I wanted or expected - support maybe? Instead I was left feeling worse and the net result is that I doubt I will ever see that person in the same light again.

Am I just over thinking and being over sensitive?

I imagine option 2 would be the best option but you would be hard pushed to find someone who could actually react like that to such terrible news. I don't self-harm myself, have never been that way inclined, and I know I'd probably be all awkward and maybe even angry if someone I know told me they do it, even though I know that they probably can't help it.

I'm sorry you confided in a friend and it didn't work out I've told some friends about the depression and I find that 9 times out of 10 it doesn't work out the way you hoped it would. You have to see it from their point of view. This stuff is probably completely alien to them and it's hard to know the best way to react to that information.
Even though I have depression myself I still wouldn't know the best thing to say or do for a person if they confided in me about similar issues.

I think if your friend is a true friend then they probably have your best interest at heart and just don't know what to do.

I find it's best not to tell any lay people and keep it for the counselor or psychiatrist. I know that might sound terrible for me to say but I really think there's less hurt for you in the long run that way!

Oh and it's really, really, really sucky knowing you need to talk to a professional, and even crying (actual sobbing, not whinging) down the phone to your doctors secretary doesn't get your appointment with your GP moved forward.

UhOhhh,
The answer is yes! But only if you're willing to put in the effort. It seems you've already come to the conclusion you need help. I went via the GP route to receive treatment and found it effective. I'll briefly explain the process;

Last year, I booked an appt' with my GP to discuss my ongoing issues. I was petrified and was anxious of what to expect of the appt, although I was expecting to be prescribed medications of someform. Anyway, once he'd asked the common questions, (eating/sleeping patterns) he reviewed the information and gave diagnoses. Here his involvment in the treatment plan was prescribing medications. I know it might seem daunting to take medications (referring to your history) but many people are reluctant. Currently I take Lexapro, but I'm hoping to be off it by October. Lexapro is a SSRI drug, it boosts the happy hormone seretonin in your brain, lexapro is not addictive. But what are addictive are benzodiazphene drugs. The first two weeks of being introduced to lexapro I was taking a benzodiazphene drug called Lexaton. This was precautionary as Lexapro can cause increased anxiety. I would recommend lexapro, though keep in mind everyone reacts differently.

The most drastic changes in my general well-being occured with psychotherapy. It's otherwise known as CBT and works by changing your negative thoughts. Honestly, it did take a couple of months before I felt the effects but it has been worth it. Literally years of damage has been rectified in a matter of months.

To sum up this rant, try medications+cbt. Good luck!

downonthefarm wrote: »

please don't stop fighting. we can beat this rotten affliction! !!

A little positivity goes a long way.

The past week has been a rollercoaster to say the least but I think I hit the bottom because eventually it reached a stage where no matter where i looked things were looking up.

I had an awful sunday/monday. An amazing therapy session Tuesday - Sunday had been so bad I had nothing to lose. I was more open than ever before, I cried, I laughed, I planned for the future. I felt amazing. Then Tuesday night I crashed a contemplated the unthinkable. Since then though things have taken a turn towards positivity.

I don't want to jinx it but today I smiled and it was real. A friend said I hadn't been more positive in ages. Another commented how I look like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Another person commented on how I scrub up well and have a certain confidence about me.

I think that after almost 2 years of hell the fog is finally lifting.

(I'm aware this is 3 am but I'm not drinking. Just been working.)

(And I apologise if this comes across as bragging. It's not meant to. It's hopefully going to give people hope that with some determination, positivity and the right therapist/gp/psych team, it is possible to have good days!)

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Still way way down.. Friends moving away, work gone to shoite.. Only takes one or two things to go askew and i completely fall over the edge.. Logic dictates i will feel better somewhere soon, but how i wish i could believe that..

You still seeing therapist?

*hugs* hope you feel better soon