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Pet for 4 year old suitable for working family

13

Comments

  • #62
    Cherry Blossom
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 6,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cherry Blossom


    OK, if the OP's husband was the person who started this thread, I think the advice would have been the same, however him being an animal lover I believe he may have seen a lot more value in the in some of the solutions that were offered. The OP's husband is not the person who started the thread though and it appears the decision has been left up to the OP and she is in conflict over her stance and the rest of the family wanting a pet. You can't have it both ways though and she seems unwilling to compromise. I'm glad Hellrazer has mentioned exotics though, something like tree frogs might suit but a lot of research would have to be done, obviously they have to live indoors as well and the OP doesn't want that. They are also costly to maintain and its unlikely the OP would be happy with having live crickets in the house.

    OP are you still there? :D


  • #63
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,819 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    Hellrazer wrote: »
    Now mod time.
    As for the Wolfe Tones and others view that the op is being lectured--I have to agree.On the very first page of this thread the OP was told that she should never have a pet--again a user gets hammered for asking for advice.At least 5 users told her she isnt suitable for a pet.How do you lot know her exact circumstances?
    How can you keep saying that someone isnt suitable to own a pet when you know nothing about her?

    The family dynamic could be ideally suited for a pet and then again it may not but its not for the animal welfare brigade to keep judging people on this forum.

    I understand completely where you are coming from but now that you`ve slated this user I feel that instead of getting advice on how to keep whatever they choose in the proper manner they may now head off to a dodgy petshop,buy this pet and if in the future they have an issue regarding its upkeep they wont come back here looking for advice because of this thread.

    The people involved in animal welfare need to realise that sometimes people may make mistakes in buying a dog / cat / whatever even if in your opinion they may not be suited for a owning a pet and when they come looking for advice,instead of slating them over     a mistake thats already been made could you not help them out?

    In order not to drag this thread off topic I have replied in the Off topic thread


  • #64
    Hellrazer
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,577 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer


    Discodog wrote: »
    In order not to drag this thread off topic I have replied in the Off topic thread

    No problem.But before you do--you were the only one that offered in my opinion the right advice to th eOP and didnt get involved with the rest of them..


  • #65
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,819 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    Hellrazer wrote: »
    No problem.But before you do--you were the only one that offered in my opinion the right advice to th eOP and didnt get involved with the rest of them..

    I will post because it is an important issue & is the one point, from the old "How's our driving" thread, that keeps cropping up.


  • #66
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    No one has mentioned budgies... When I was a child, pets were not allowed because there was no one in all day. And the cost was a drawback too. But we were allowed a budgie and great times were had. They are easy to tame and to have a wee bird on your shoulder is amazing. But we were older than 4 years. Of course there will be dirt but budgie droppings are small enough for someone who has raised babies.

    Any child of that age will need close supervision with any critter. No blame there by the way; simply issues like motor coordination and reality. And seeing the difference between a furry toy and a live animal is a hard one for a child that age. eg they cannot be put in the spin drier like soft toys can.

    I was chatting yesterday with someone whose relative rescued a cat as a pet for a child of that age; child played too roughly and cat of course started fighting shy of the child. Any mistakes with a critter are hard to undo.

    At times we had caged rabbits, but it was only in my 20s that I learned that they did not escape as I was told; my father killed them to eat.


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  • #67
    Little_Focker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭Little_Focker


    gym_mom wrote: »
    I'll put up with it but wont do the cleaning out of the cage but my husband will. Big deal.

    Keeping the cage clean is a big deal actually :rolleyes: You can guarantee that your husband will ALWAYS be home to do this? That he'll never have to go away unexpectantly or god forbid if he got sick are you going to drag him out of bed to clean the cage? Or will you send in the 4 year old instead? Cos it would be cruel to leave a rabbit sitting in s**t for days on end waiting for hubbie to return home.

    I think you need to compromise a little bit more if you genuinly want to get a pet for your kids. I dont think its fair on them not to have a pet just coz you dont want to do this or that. A previous poster had a good idea about bringing them to a petting zoo and you might surprise yourself that you start to get an interest in them too.


  • #68
    Fluorescence
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 8,490 Mod ✭✭✭✭Fluorescence


    Graces7 wrote: »
    No one has mentioned budgies... When I was a child, pets were not allowed because there was no one in all day. And the cost was a drawback too. But we were allowed a budgie and great times were had. They are easy to tame and to have a wee bird on your shoulder is amazing. But we were older than 4 years. Of course there will be dirt but budgie droppings are small enough for someone who has raised babies.

    Any child of that age will need close supervision with any critter. No blame there by the way; simply issues like motor coordination and reality. And seeing the difference between a furry toy and a live animal is a hard one for a child that age. eg they cannot be put in the spin drier like soft toys can.

    I was chatting yesterday with someone whose relative rescued a cat as a pet for a child of that age; child played too roughly and cat of course started fighting shy of the child. Any mistakes with a critter are hard to undo.

    At times we had caged rabbits, but it was only in my 20s that I learned that they did not escape as I was told; my father killed them to eat.

    Actually this is a fair suggestion. Bird cages are simple to clean most of the time (just pull out the tray with the old dirty sheet and put in a new one), and they're nice pets to have. I had a green budgie, and an orange canary when I was younger (at different times), and they were wonderful little birds. The canary used to sing all the time. I was heartbroken when it died :(.

    The only thing is there usually will be a bit of a mess outside the cage - feathers and such. Not much, but a little. You'll also need to supervise the children carefully when they're playing with the bird to ensure they don't get too heavy handed and injure it.


  • #69
    Little_Focker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭Little_Focker


    OP said she wanted to keep it outside so I dont think that will work for budgies and also doesnt seem to want to clean after anything full stop which I find hard to understand seeing as she had 3 kids or maybe the husband had to change all their nappies too :p


  • #70
    boomerang
    Registered Users Posts: 3,189 ✭✭✭boomerang


    Moved.


  • #71
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,819 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    I think that all of us, as responsible pet owners, have to think of who would look after our animals if we are not around. I seem to recall a thread here a while ago where a dog owner was going to work & his housemate was putting the dog outside all day. It is very clear that some people do not see social interaction as an essential for many pets.

    If I was running a rescue (I'd never rehome anything ;)) I would want the "approval" of everyone in the household before rehoming. The OP has to be certain that, if necessary, she would perform all the duties needed to care for the pet if her partner is not around for any reason.

    I was so animal mad, that by the age of 4, I was catching my own pets & the house was full of insects, amphibians etc. I would urge the OP to maybe consider indulging the child's enthusiasm by making an effort to overcome any dislikes. My mother once told me that our then new puppy only lived in the house because I would of slept in the kennel with it :D.

    My parents decision to indulge me fundamentally changed my life. I wanted to study nature & work with it. The pleasure that I get from my pets is immeasurable. I would love to think that another 4 year old might get influenced in the way that I did.


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  • #72
    sambuka41
    Registered Users Posts: 1,083 ✭✭✭sambuka41


    Discodog wrote: »
    My parents decision to indulge me fundamentally changed my life. I wanted to study nature & work with it. The pleasure that I get from my pets is immeasurable. I would love to think that another 4 year old might get influenced in the way that I did.

    I think this is a really good point. OP maybe if you look at it that way, not that you have to be animal mad but that you are involved in your child's interest and hobby.


  • #73
    gym_mom
    Registered Users Posts: 73 ✭✭gym_mom


    Wow.. lot of replies to a simple question. Must say I dont want to carry on this conversation as the tone is judgemental to the point of bullying.

    Just to finish off and clarify a few points.

    I dont hate animals, I actually am fond of some animals, just not an "animal lover" in the sense that I want to walk a dog daily, bath him regularly and have a smelly house with torn sofas...

    My husband is extremely capable and willing to look after an animal and yes of course if he wasn't there I would look after it. Doesn't mean i have to let it sleep in my bed or eat at the dinner table.

    The purpose of the thread was to find a happy medium that let's two little kids who love animals enjoy the experience of having a pet that fits in with a working family's lifestyle. I think I would be a worse parent by putting my own desires above those of the kids just because Im not as keen as they are.

    Anyway, I stayed away from this thread because of the nasty tone it took... Never seen a board as condescending and patronising as this to be honest. But thnks to the good will posters who understood the parenting issue of the question.


  • #74
    Oranage2
    Registered Users Posts: 11,131 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    don't mind these people op, just get a dog and leave it out the back all day. also you only have to walk a dog once a week or even once every 2 weeks. and if the dog doesn't work out you can always give it to the pound.


  • #75
    **Vai**
    Registered Users Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    Oranage2 wrote: »
    don't mind these people op, just get a dog and leave it out the back all day. also you only have to walk a dog once a week or even once every 2 weeks. and if the dog doesn't work out you can always give it to the pound.

    Please let that be sarcasm.

    OP I reckon a rabbit/hamster/gerbil or something else thats kept in a cage is your best option. I have a couple of Degu's, lovely animals but takes time and patience for them to trust u enough to touch, virtues not many kids have so rabbit or hamster would probably suit better.

    This thread turned ridiculous real fast. This is an example of why people will stop coming here for advice. They would be right to do so.


  • #76
    Zapperzy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,524 ✭✭✭Zapperzy


    **Vai** wrote: »
    OP I reckon a rabbit/hamster/gerbil or something else thats kept in a cage is your best option.

    Gerbils move too fast for a 4 year old to handle, also from my experience gerbils aren't really cuddley material and they are quite fragile so if a 4 year old went to squeeze one to 'give it a hug' or whatever else a 4 year old might want to do then they will quickly get a nip off the gerbil. These have tails that if a 4 year old were to pick it up by as a defence mechanism they lose their tails! Gerbils are also like rabbits in that they must be kept in same sex pairs or trios as they are highly social.

    As for hamsters, you have dwarf hamsters and your standard syrian hamsters (these are the bigger ones that must be kept on their own). Dwarf hamsters are a bit like gerbils in that they move very fast and don't really appreciate cuddling and can be quite quick to nip. These ones can be kept in same sex groups but it's hit and miss as some just don't get on with each other and fighting can occur.

    Syrian hamsters with proper and careful handling in the beginning can become lovely pets. They are larger than dwarfs and move much slower so it may be possible for a patient and careful child to handle them with supervision. Again though they give a very very nasty bite when mishandled or pissed off. These must be kept on their own as when kept in groups once they mature they will fight to the death. When buying one it's best to try and find a breeder who handles them from a young age and does not mass breed with stacks of cages in a shed or just somebody with a woops litter who has handled them often. My experience with some petshops is that they come from mass breeders and often the first hand they see belongs to the person who lifts them out of the cage in the shop to put them in the box so they are highly stressed and prone to biting, this is true really of most small animals sold from shops.

    If you get any of the above please do not buy the cheapest 'starter' cage that most petshops sell. Gerbils are best kept in aquariums as they love to dig burrows and chew wire bars (and most plastics). Dwarf hamsters if kept in groups shouldn't really be kept in cages that have multiple modules like the rotastack or habitrail as these can cause territorial fights, it's the same sometimes with cages with multiple levels. Personally my favorite cage for dwarfs and syrians is this one http://www.zooplus.ie/shop/rodents/cages/hamster_mouse_cages/197363

    I already posted my experience with rabbits.


  • #77
    RubyGirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,275 ✭✭✭RubyGirl


    Not sure if it was mentioned already OP (if your still there) but have you thought about fostering a small animal from a rescue (if they allow) with the intention of adoption if it works out. This way ye could see how everyone gets on, and if not at least you gave it a shot.


  • #78
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,819 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    gym_mom wrote: »
    Wow.. lot of replies to a simple question. Must say I dont want to carry on this conversation as the tone is judgemental to the point of bullying.

    I have read through this thread several times & it appears that people answered based on the information that you gave. By the time that I posted you had clarified the situation a little more. There is a huge amount of valuable advice in this thread, some of it from very knowledgeable people who have given a little of their time to help you.

    Disagreement between partners is one of the significant reasons that animals end up in rescues. That & children growing tired of them. My latest little chap was a Christmas puppy & the charm worn off so they dumped him. Some people here have heard these excuses day in, day out & have had to deal with the consequences for many years. This is why rescues have to be sure that both partners are happy before they will rehome & why posters here get concerned.

    In your case this is made especially relevant because of the age of the children in that they are too young to take responsibility. So you should be sure in your own mind that, if your husband was not around for any reason, you can look after all the needs of the animal.

    I started earlier than your children. My father indulged me & initially my mother was not so keen. But when my father died unexpectedly my mother more than filled the breach & my animal collection grew over the years. My mother became a total animal lover - maybe you will to ?

    But before you & others condemn the views of some here you need to understand what it's like to watch beautiful healthy animals die because they are no longer wanted. Do this for a while & trust me you become very hardened as to who should be allowed to have pets.


  • #79
    gym_mom
    Registered Users Posts: 73 ✭✭gym_mom


    RubyGirl wrote: »
    Not sure if it was mentioned already OP (if your still there) but have you thought about fostering a small animal from a rescue (if they allow) with the intention of adoption if it works out. This way ye could see how everyone gets on, and if not at least you gave it a shot.


    That's a good idea. do they do that?


  • #80
    Irishchick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,151 ✭✭✭Irishchick


    What about a cat? They can be kept outside. (mine sleeps in a bed in the turf shed) They are clean and dont need to be toilet trained.


  • #81
    ruben
    Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭ruben


    gym_mom wrote: »
    That's a good idea. do they do that?

    Check out here
    You may get more help on the fostering aspect.


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  • #82
    Little_Focker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭Little_Focker


    gym_mom wrote: »

    I dont hate animals, I actually am fond of some animals, just not an "animal lover" in the sense that I want to walk a dog daily, bath him regularly and have a smelly house with torn sofas...

    Yes because everyone who has a dog has a smelly house and torn sofas :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
    My husband is extremely capable and willing to look after an animal and yes of course if he wasn't there I would look after it. Doesn't mean i have to let it sleep in my bed or eat at the dinner table.

    You did say originally that you wouldnt clean up after it/clean out its house which is all part and parcel of looking after an animal so are you now saying you will do this?

    And I dont think anyone was suggesting you let it sleep in your bed or eat at the dinner table :rolleyes:


  • #83
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,819 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    gym_mom wrote: »
    That's a good idea. do they do that?

    Lots of rescues foster dogs & cats but I don't know any that foster smaller pets. If you find one please can you post the details here as it could be useful for other people

    Might even make a useful "sticky" addition.

    I have three dogs, two big & one medium, indoors all day in a small house. They are not allowed on the furniture, never do any damage (they did a bit as pups) & I probably smell more than the dogs :D

    The only chore is hoovering up dog hair.


  • #84
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    gym_mom wrote: »
    I dont hate animals, I actually am fond of some animals, just not an "animal lover" in the sense that I want to walk a dog daily, bath him regularly and have a smelly house with torn sofas...

    Im really not understanding this - in my own lifetime with dogs growing up we never had a smelly house with torn sofas - nor does anyone I know with a pet have a smelly house with torn sofas. I do know people with smelly houses and torn sofas - but not related to animal ownership.

    OP - have you ever owned an animal, do you actually know what pet ownership entails? I just mean in terms of practical aspects - whatever about loving an animal or considering a pet part of the family - do you actually have any experience with owning a pet? Im asking because the above comment sounds like something that someone with no clue about owning a dog would say.

    If you really havent a clue then fostering would probably be a great way to give yourself a trial run without committing to full scale ownership - but be aware the kids may get attached to the foster pet and may not want to return it even if you do.


  • #85
    runawaybishop
    Registered Users Posts: 9,499 ✭✭✭runawaybishop


    dogs most certainly do smell - torn couches would be a training issue though once they are out of puppyhood.


  • #86
    boomerang
    Registered Users Posts: 3,189 ✭✭✭boomerang


    Moved.


  • #87
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Wolfe Tone and the others: I can see from other posts at times in threads people can be quick to "jump on folks" as such and it is feicin annoying, esp when it gets said over and over by the next few people who post. I've even posted in the past telling folks to ease up and concentrate on the problem at hand instead of mouthing off.

    But the regulars on this forum esp the ones who deal with rescues or run rescues know what they are talking about and don't act like that. They do have valuable advise to give and they give it in a proper manner. May not be what folks want to hear but ya know what....get tougher skin! :pac:

    If ever in life I make a mistake with an animal and or in general need advise of some kind I will most definitely come here first. Yes the odd up their own arse person may mouth off to me but even they sometimes have a point, they are just crap at being constructive :D There will be countless others who will offer their experiences and their advise in a more constructive manner and it will all be taken on board.


    The folks giving advise was not lecturing or anything of the sort. It was honest and they were working off what the woman had said. Yes she said her husband is an animal lover, that's great. But folks pointed out that he may not always be there when the cage needs cleaning or if he is sick with the dreaded man flu(:pac:) she will have to step up and help out. Only now later on in the thread has she turned around and said of course she would help out....folks only had what she first posted to go on so come on like!


  • #88
    toadfly
    Registered Users Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭toadfly


    Toni you are the voice of reason!


  • #89
    **Vai**
    Registered Users Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    runawaybishop wrote: »
    dogs most certainly do smell - torn couches would be a training issue though once they are out of puppyhood.

    Its not the worst smell in the world though, I actually kinda like it. The whole torn couch point tho, that doesnt have to be a reality, I have no torn couches in my house. A few chewed up skirting boards and a damaged kitchen table from when they were pups but hey its only a few quid! The dogs are definitely worth it but u have to really want them, which I dont believe the OP does.


  • #90
    runawaybishop
    Registered Users Posts: 9,499 ✭✭✭runawaybishop


    I don't mind it either (except when they roll in horse **** :/) but to say dogs do not smell is just not true. Its statements like those that do more harm than good as they mean people will be more likely to dismiss the rest of the post, even if the following information is relevant.


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  • #91
    **Vai**
    Registered Users Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    I dont see where anyone said dogs dont smell? Maybe Im just missing it but I mean everyone knows animals smell, all living things smell. U just have to want to, or at least not mind, washing them every once in a while and maybe putting washable throws on any couches the dogs will be allowed on to.


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