Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Cyber bullying going on right now by everyone I know - MOD WARNING POST #2

Options
12345679»

Comments

  • Options
    #242
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,568 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Abi wrote: »
    People either fail to see this, or choose to ignore it. Cyber-bullying can effect all aspects of a persons life, all for the sake of a laugh at someone elses expense.

    Sadly true.

    If I was stupid enough to stay something silly (wouldn't be a first time) while drunk - or not - I would hope/pray that my family would not get a terrible backlash because of my stupidity.

    I might deserve a kick in the pants (to say the least) but leave other innocent people alone!


  • Options
    #243
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    Abi wrote: »
    People either fail to see this, or choose to ignore it. Cyber-bullying can effect all aspects of a persons life, all for the sake of a laugh at someone elses expense.

    There are a few kinds of bullying. I'm not sure how much we can and cant talk about the elephant in the room, but there is a kind of bullying where the perpetrators can't see it as bullying because they perceive themselves to be the victim, genuinely feel hard done by. Probably one of the most dangerous things about victim status or politics, and then try to remind them that there is a high probability that when they were being victimised their perpetrator at that moment was stuck in a victim feeling stasis and looking for justice or pain relief.

    Then there are people whose really like the thrill of feeling powerful, they can only feel safe when they dominate and when others are feeling weak, vulnerable or controlled. Not always exclusive from the first kind I mentioned.

    Technology is offerring new means of facilitating all of it and its growing so fast it's hard to keep up. Perhaps more education, like how to be responsible with your technology and what to do if you are a target. Have specialists visit schools, educate parents.

    The problem is when the parents and the adults [like on my facebook feeds] are the problem then what do you do? I suppose education has to start somewhere, like the next generation.


  • Options
    #244
    HabeasCorpus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 52 ✭✭HabeasCorpus


    I see a lot of this: Oh I NEVER would have said this or done that when I was 16. But I'm sure there are lots of other silly things you did do that that girl doesn't do.

    She was hot headed, drunk and her head was filled with a proud mother's words about great Daddy. I can just imagine the upbringing. Do well in your exams and you'll never have to worry, you'll have a great job like Daddy and you'll never be stuck in a dead end 10 euro an hour job. Then probably, all the treats, empty headed D4 nonsense about Manolo Blahniks, BT2 shopping, all that jaz. Unfortunately, this creates a type of inferiority, a belief that the person is not as important as the material things, which results in bragging.

    She was so empty, believe it or not, the motivation was she was trying to impress those guys and feel powerful. Yet she was being bullied, goaded too. So with the mix of that upbringing, feeling on the wrong foot (literally), and being impulsive/hotheaded, when she was drunk she ranted wildly. She's still at school guys. I remember a girl goading me when I was 16 or 17, and though she was much bigger, and older than me, I lost my temper and gave her a good fight. I saw stars after it though. :( I've learnt to calm down and deal with the issues or just walk away if they're not important. I believe if a fiery person like me can become rational, there is hope for anyone. But I don't want to see people putting themselves up on pedestals because they wouldn't react precisely like that, we all have our feet of clay.

    Maybe you have been calm and grandfatherly when you were 16 and had a thick skin which left you mercifully unresponsive to goading. Most teenagers are sensitive, have childish outbursts and do things better not caught on camera for the whole of Ireland to see. Give her a break, I wouldn't say she's in the happiest home in Ireland right now.


  • Options
    #245
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,124 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Abi wrote: »
    People can be dicks with drink on them, thats universally accepted. But should you have to pay for it by having it aired world wide on the internet?

    Exactly how far does it have to go before you feel someone is punished enough for it?

    I never called it punishment. I just said that even whilst drunk and stupid, I would never have said stuff like that (well, my parent's weren't rich, so obviously not exactly what was said. But I mean that level of abuse). Cos that was pretty vitriolic.

    I've heard a rule of thumb quoted, If your a dick drunk, it's because your a dick sober. Drink doesn't generate new opinions, just some new behaviours.


  • Options
    #246
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,124 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Holsten wrote: »
    I've seen some things on twitter and youtube, e.g what should happen to her, what people would do to her, etc... some nasty stuff alright, I'd assume mostly posted by kids themselves.

    I think she deleted her facebook and blocked her twitter account. But we don't know people could find out where she lives, her phone number and start sending threats to her.

    To be fair to the nasty comments on youtube, you could watch a video of a cat getting stuck in a window and some creep would put up a joke about raping it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #247
    Jarrod
    Registered Users Posts: 500 ✭✭✭Jarrod


    HabeasCorpus wrote: »
    I see a lot of this: Oh I NEVER would have said this or done that when I was 16. But I'm sure there are lots of other silly things you did do that that girl doesn't do.

    She was hot headed, drunk and her head was filled with a proud mother's words about great Daddy. I can just imagine the upbringing. Do well in your exams and you'll never have to worry, you'll have a great job like Daddy and you'll never be stuck in a dead end 10 euro an hour job. Then probably, all the treats, empty headed D4 nonsense about Manolo Blahniks, BT2 shopping, all that jaz. Unfortunately, this creates a type of inferiority, a belief that the person is not as important as the material things, which results in bragging.

    She was so empty, believe it or not, the motivation was she was trying to impress those guys and feel powerful. Yet she was being bullied, goaded too. So with the mix of that upbringing, feeling on the wrong foot (literally), and being impulsive/hotheaded, when she was drunk she ranted wildly. She's still at school guys. I remember a girl goading me when I was 16 or 17, and though she was much bigger, and older than me, I lost my temper and gave her a good fight. I saw stars after it though. :( I've learnt to calm down and deal with the issues or just walk away if they're not important. I believe if a fiery person like me can become rational, there is hope for anyone. But I don't want to see people putting themselves up on pedestals because they wouldn't react precisely like that, we all have our feet of clay.

    Maybe you have been calm and grandfatherly when you were 16 and had a thick skin which left you mercifully unresponsive to goading. Most teenagers are sensitive, have childish outbursts and do things better not caught on camera for the whole of Ireland to see. Give her a break, I wouldn't say she's in the happiest home in Ireland right now.

    You're assuming a lot about her upbringing in your post. It's not like she called the guy a ginger **** and then left it at that. It's a 5 minute rant about him being a loser because he's ginger, balding and 'poor'. I'm not saying I never made a remark/comment to someone back in my school days because they goaded me but it was always some generic sh1t like 'your an ar****le' etc. etc.. I've never tried to pick someone apart in a rant like that because if you ask me those are the actions of a bully. Picking what you perceive to be someone's weak points or things they may be self conscious about and laying into them is bullying.


  • Options
    #248
    niallo27
    Registered Users Posts: 16,001 ✭✭✭✭niallo27


    Grayson wrote: »
    I never called it punishment. I just said that even whilst drunk and stupid, I would never have said stuff like that (well, my parent's weren't rich, so obviously not exactly what was said. But I mean that level of abuse). Cos that was pretty vitriolic.

    I've heard a rule of thumb quoted, If your a dick drunk, it's because your a dick sober. Drink doesn't generate new opinions, just some new behaviours.

    I dont agree with this, drink does funny things to certain people, a friend of mine turned into a headerball with drink and started fights every night we were out, sober he was the nicest guy you could meet. He know stays sober or just one or two drinks and everything is fine.


  • Options
    #249
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    Jarrod wrote: »
    You're assuming a lot about her upbringing in your post. It's not like she called the guy a ginger **** and then left it at that. It's a 5 minute rant about him being a loser because he's ginger, balding and 'poor'. I'm not saying I never made a remark/comment to someone back in my school days because they goaded me but it was always some generic sh1t like 'your an ar****le' etc. etc.. I've never tried to pick someone apart in a rant like that because if you ask me those are the actions of a bully. Picking what you perceive to be someone's weak points or things they may be self conscious about and laying into them is bullying.

    Right and now the cycle continues. Only it's not by one drunk girl. It's by the thousands,many of them adults and sober who have no relationship with this girl. She means nothing to them, she has no power or influence in their lives, and yet they are so intimidated by her they want to chronically abuse her and feel justified in doing it.


  • Options
    #250
    Cathyht
    Closed Accounts Posts: 318 ✭✭Cathyht


    Jarrod wrote: »
    You're assuming a lot about her upbringing in your post. It's not like she called the guy a ginger **** and then left it at that. It's a 5 minute rant about him being a loser because he's ginger, balding and 'poor'. I'm not saying I never made a remark/comment to someone back in my school days because they goaded me but it was always some generic sh1t like 'your an ar****le' etc. etc.. I've never tried to pick someone apart in a rant like that because if you ask me those are the actions of a bully. Picking what you perceive to be someone's weak points or things they may be self conscious about and laying into them is bullying.

    In the video I saw, there were 2 or 3 guys' voices goading her. I don't know if this is the one everyone else here saw, but I have reported it. I don't watch bullfights because I don't like a to see something a bit dumb goaded into a battle they can't win. Just like this girl. It was not a monologue by any stretch of the imagination. A few times she looked like she was going, or at least going to stop, and they started again, they pulled her back into it. THEY enjoyed it. THEY are the ones who videoed it, they are the ones jeering.

    You see it with children, the one who gets caught shouting is just the honest one, the sneaky ones causing it and riling the other one up are premeditated and bad inclined. They are usually bullies. That girl wasn't pretty to watch, but she was drunk and it is just a set up. Now she's a scape goat for all the D4 haters.


  • Options
    #251
    Jarrod
    Registered Users Posts: 500 ✭✭✭Jarrod


    Cathyht wrote: »
    In the video I saw, there were 2 or 3 guys' voices goading her. I don't know if this is the one everyone else here saw, but I have reported it. I don't watch bullfights because I don't like a to see something a bit dumb goaded into a battle they can't win. Just like this girl. It was not a monologue by any stretch of the imagination. A few times she looked like she was going, or at least going to stop, and they started again, they pulled her back into it. THEY enjoyed it. THEY are the ones who videoed it, they are the ones jeering.

    You see it with children, the one who gets caught shouting is just the honest one, the sneaky ones causing it and riling the other one up are premeditated and bad inclined. They are usually bullies. That girl wasn't pretty to watch, but she was drunk and it is just a set up. Now she's a scape goat for all the D4 haters.

    From the video I saw I reckoned there was 2 guys 'goading' her and a third who seemed to be steering clear. I'm not 100% on that but I'm not going to watch it again. I stand by my original point which is that she portrayed all the qualities of a bully in this instance. It's hard to know how it started so I don't think we can speculate. Also, I'm by no means justifying the behaviour of anyone else in the video or anyone who has commented on/circulated the video. I'm not sure if you'd consider me a 'D4 hater' but I'm far from it. I do really hate the term D4 to describe somebody though. From my experience the stereotypical 'D4' qualities aren't usually displayed by people from Dublin 4. And, if someone's a d**k then it doesn't really matter where they're from.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #252
    ahnowbrowncow
    Registered Users Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭ahnowbrowncow


    Cathyht wrote: »
    In the video I saw, there were 2 or 3 guys' voices goading her. I don't know if this is the one everyone else here saw, but I have reported it. I don't watch bullfights because I don't like a to see something a bit dumb goaded into a battle they can't win. Just like this girl. It was not a monologue by any stretch of the imagination. A few times she looked like she was going, or at least going to stop, and they started again, they pulled her back into it. THEY enjoyed it. THEY are the ones who videoed it, they are the ones jeering.

    You see it with children, the one who gets caught shouting is just the honest one, the sneaky ones causing it and riling the other one up are premeditated and bad inclined. They are usually bullies. That girl wasn't pretty to watch, but she was drunk and it is just a set up. Now she's a scape goat for all the D4 haters.

    Yeah because the people recording were sober as judges and had their full wits about them :rolleyes:. You're only seeing what you want to see


  • Options
    #253
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Grayson wrote: »
    I never called it punishment.
    I agree, you never did. What I was inferring was that you obviously think that someone being drunk and abusive towards another person deserves to be ridiculed for it. Once something hits the internet it has the potential to go viral.

    In my teens / early twenties there would probably be the odd night out here and there I'd rather not remember. I wasn't abusive towards anybody myself, but I've seen people take a bad turn after drink, who I know that wouldn't act in bad way ordinarily.

    Would you like all and sundry to judge you based on a drunken episode while at a very young age? It could be the ruination of your career / life for god sake.

    I know I wouldn't want anyone judging me on my teens or early twenties, that I can tell you.


  • Options
    #254
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Pippa Middleton's Arse wrote: »
    Mod

    Thread is becoming very specific to one case. It this continues, we'll be locking this up.
    .


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement