child and alcohol an a school trip

LegacyUser · 19-04-2015 11:21pm #1

Hi
Need advice. My 16, almost 17 years old son was caught buying a drink on a school trip. He rang me almost the same minute wanting to explain himself. He is claiming he bought drinks for the others as he looks older ... hardly be true. Luckily enough nine of the group of 8 girls and boys didn't manage to have a drink as were caught by teachers.
My lad is one of the best students, very sporty and generally of a good behavior. Never heard any complains, only appraisals from the teachers.
I have to go to school tomorrow to have a chat with vice-principle o this matter.
Teachers were having drinks on the trip starting at the airport bar. I'm not denying my child's fault and he is punished seriously enough but in this case they wseren't shown a good example.
I'm afraid of the consequences at school. Need advice psychologically, talking to teacher should i mention his own behavior or will it make the thing worse?

Thanks

echo beach · 20-04-2015 12:30am

The teachers are over 18 and can legally buy and drink alcohol.
Your son has to take responsibility for what HE did. Leave what the teachers and other students did out of the conversation completely.

bp · 20-04-2015 12:36pm

I would just go talk to them. Not defending what he did but I bought alcohol at that age and was always a good student.

Tell them how he is being punished at home and have an open conversation with him about alcohol. Not may kids stay away from it until they are 18. My mam and I talked about it when I was 16 (close to 17) - I was honest always and never had more than 2 as she asked and never drove or got in a car with anyone who was drinking.

Were the teachers definitely drinking at the airport? Are they allowed if on duty? They may have just been in the bar? I am sure he had seen you or another family member consume alcohol.

Anyway just talk to him like an adult and not like a child.

Good luck (from the mother who has a good 14 years ahead of her before having to deal with this!!)

skallywag · 20-04-2015 1:48pm

I don't think your point about the teacher's not showing a good example is fair as long as they were acting responsibly. It will also come across as an attempt to deflect from the real issue here.

All in all though I really do not see this as a big deal at all. You have been called to the school as the teachers are most likely now obliged to do so, at the risk of there being uproar if it was not the case. Your son is nearly 17 and is a good student. I would personally consider this a very minor issue.

Miaireland · 20-04-2015 4:05pm

The fact that the teachers were drinking does not matter. I would not bring it up nor would I mention the other students as this is not really relevent.

I agree with the others, tell them that your son accepts what he did is wrong and that you are taking action regarding his behaviour.

tinkerbell · 21-04-2015 10:42am

I can't believe that the teachers having a drink in the airport is even being mentioned. It's typical of the "my darling child is completely blameless" here rubbish. Your son is responsible for his actions and you need to accept the punishment that the school deems appropriate.

Greenmachine · 21-04-2015 10:49am

I have to echo the sentiments of what other have said. Would the OP judge themselves or other parents having a drink in front a child. Why are they holding teacher to such a higher standard. I would treat this the same as, if you had caught your child buying drink yourself.
They will have to accept that their behavior was inappropriate (your child) and chalk it up to experience.

MissFlitworth · 21-04-2015 11:43am

Your son didn't buy drinks because he saw a teacher doing it. Speaking as someone who spent a school tour in Venice trying to get up the guts to buy a can of Heineken it was most assuredly not because I saw Mr Dunne having a glass of wine and thought I'd like to be cool like him. Just go in and talk to the teachers and see what they say. In fairness, every school tour with kids in their late teens is a battle to keep them away from buying drinks, they're used to this stuff & it's not the end of the world

Rochester · 22-04-2015 2:51pm

I presume you and your son signed a form saying that alcohol would not be consumed on the tour? He really has to take the consequences of this.

lertsnim · 22-04-2015 2:54pm

Was he in a country with a lower age for purchasing alcohol? Lots of Europe has 16 as the legal limit for beers and wine.

rainbowtrout · 25-04-2015 8:11pm

lertsnim wrote: »

Was he in a country with a lower age for purchasing alcohol? Lots of Europe has 16 as the legal limit for beers and wine.

School rules would supercede law in this case. Obviously if he was in a country where legal age is 16 he's not breaking the law there, but he was going on a school tour and presumably has signed up to the school's code of behaviour which would say no purchase or consumption of alcohol on tour.

OP, I'm a teacher, I've ran many school tours over the years. I've encountered this problem on nearly every school tour that involves 16-17 year olds. Whether your son is the star pupil or not, it doesn't exclude him from wanting to buy or drink alcohol.

He bought it on tour and got caught. The school might give him an in school punishment such as a detention, he might have to write a letter of apology to the principal/teachers involved, he might get a suspension. But ultimately, he chose to buy the alcohol.

If you were coming in to see me, and your opening line was 'but you had a drink on tour too' i'd be fairly disgusted. Teachers are over 18 and if they have one or two drinks and are not drunk, then they are fine. Typically teachers on a four day tour get little or no sleep while they are away because students will not go to sleep, spend their time running from room to room, wake other guests in hotels, try to buy alcohol. I have spent many a tour sitting on the hotel corridor outside students rooms to ensure the boys weren't trying to get into the girls rooms or that they weren't making a racket and waking the other guests. We've done random room checks to ensure there was no alcohol, and bag checks before ever leaving the country. When you do all that, and students still go and buy alcohol, it's a complete pain in the arse that they can't go away on a decent trip for four days and not buy it. Especially when you have given up your free time to bring them.

Go to the school for the meeting, get your son to apologise for his behaviour and take his punishment. He was the one in the wrong.

BeardySi · 01-05-2015 9:12pm

Your son got caught, he knew what he was doing and will have to face the consequences. It's not the end of the world and shouldn't be treated as such. Don't try and deflect it onto teachers drinking in the bar setting a bad example - nobody will buy that one.

As a side note - is it really considered acceptable on school tours for adults in charge of a group of kids to be drinking, much less to be drinking in front of the kids? I know in scouting we have rules against consuming alcohol while in charge of kids - never while supervising kids, only if "off duty" on longer trips and camps and never drink around the kids...

stefanovich · 02-05-2015 7:50am

Sounds like completely normal behaviour for a 16 year old boy. Just apologise and accept whatever punishment the school dishes out.

child and alcohol an a school trip

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