Irishness is..........................

Maddison wrote: »

Irishness is...Being Irish is about driving in a German car to a Scottish pub for a
>Belgian beer, and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or, a
>Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
>American shows on a Japanese TV.
>
>And the most Irish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
>
>Only in Ireland can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
>
>Only in Ireland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
>the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
>can buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Ireland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and
a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Ireland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
>
>Only in Ireland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Ireland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.
>
>Only in Ireland are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
>
>NOT TO MENTION...
>
3 Irish ppl die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.

142 Irish ppl were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.

58 Irish ppl are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Irish ppl have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Irish ppl have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

Irish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Irish ppl had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Irish ppl were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Irish ppl were injured last year in accidents involving
out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally...

In 2000 eight Irish ppl were admitted to hospital with fractured
skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.