Poetry Megathread

crazyhorsecowle · 01-05-2012 3:53pm

Deservingly so danescot,
It's brilliant,I though I had commented on it but seemed to have missed it.
Well done and any more to share would be greatly welcomed.
TAKE A BOW,
you deserve it.

DaneScott · 01-05-2012 5:07pm

Jaysis man, thank you. I've never blushed before my laptop til now.
Here's another one sure:

All these surreptitious suppositions of splitting oceans,

Prose so powerful it can burst notions wide open -

These have been exposed as taciturn Trojans.

Simply your mind corroding.

The practice of doubting theologians,

Laying opinions out in the open,

Shows no more hope than

Doping and de - robing the pope, and

Pinning him to a post

For roasting and disposing.

Your salvation will not be found in revolting,

Ratifying pieties or effacing earthly vanities.

These pawns are preceded by supernatural beings,

Superseded by sacrosanct sacraments

That offer sanctuary to sanctity,

Align your efforts with ignominy

And you with heresy.

It would be best to surrender immediately.

golden lane · 01-05-2012 10:42pm

well i hope the gates are open
and the hinges are well oiled
because at last, the world has noticed
and your plan's now surely foiled

of course, you thought you were expected
and to heaven, that is so
but, you told the little children
if they told, to hell they'd go

well one day the gates, will open
but, there will be no saintly spires
for your crimes, the lord will damn you
to eternity, in hell's fires

PurpleBee · 02-05-2012 11:39am

Maybe it's just me but a lot of the poetry posted on creative writing seems to be a little too abstract, I mean the imagery is purely metaphorical and hard to grasp as a result.

That's why I thought Danescott's moth poem was so refreshing. I mean the depth is there but the poem also functioned simply as a description of someone dismembering a moth.

Maybe I'm just criticising poetry for trying to be too poetic.

pickarooney · 02-05-2012 12:03pm

PurpleBee wrote: »

Maybe it's just me but a lot of the poetry posted on creative writing seems to be a little too abstract, I mean the imagery is purely metaphorical and hard to grasp as a result.

That's why I thought Danescott's moth poem was so refreshing. I mean the depth is there but the poem also functioned simply as a description of someone dismembering a moth.

Maybe I'm just criticising poetry for trying to be too poetic.

I get that impression a lot. I never know whether it's being subtle and me obtuse or if the author is deliberately holding back from saying anything of substance.

golden lane · 02-05-2012 12:03pm

PurpleBee wrote: »

Maybe it's just me but a lot of the poetry posted on creative writing seems to be a little too abstract, I mean the imagery is purely metaphorical and hard to grasp as a result.

That's why I thought Danescott's moth poem was so refreshing. I mean the depth is there but the poem also functioned simply as a description of someone dismembering a moth.

Maybe I'm just criticising poetry for trying to be too poetic.

maybe just a line or two
an ode, so to speak
i thought it was a cabbage
but it does, look like a leek

device, for automotive transport
or a thing that opens cans
when the scots have all the same name
they're not family, they're just clans

now i know these words are rubbish
and superficial, one might say
but they may just bring a smile or two
and i hope, brighten up your day

DaneScott · 08-05-2012 7:18pm

golden lane wrote: »

maybe just a line or two
an ode, so to speak
i thought it was a cabbage
but it does, look like a leek

device, for automotive transport
or a thing that opens cans
when the scots have all the same name
they're not family, they're just clans

now i know these words are rubbish
and superficial, one might say
but they may just bring a smile or two
and i hope, brighten up your day

Pleasant

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 13-05-2012 2:56am

First poem I've written in a long long time...

I leave awkwardly each morning,
No kiss goodbye, no parting embrace,
Guilt overcoming my animal instincts,
A longing glance upon your face.

I never wanted to hurt you or lead you astray,
No malice in my intentions, despite the pain I've brought,
I tell myself I should stop, that I'll only hurt you again,
But lust always sweeps away such thoughts.

I am not wicked-minded, my hearts not made of stone,
Yet I could avoid such heartbreak and I simply won't,
Once more you'll cry and I'll walk away coldly,
Because you want me to love you and I don't.

DaneScott · 13-05-2012 3:49pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

First poem I've written in a long long time...

I leave awkwardly each morning,
No kiss goodbye, no parting embrace,
Guilt overcoming my animal instincts,
A longing glance upon your face.

I never wanted to hurt you or lead you astray,
No malice in my intentions, despite the pain I've brought,
I tell myself I should stop, that I'll only hurt you again,
But lust always sweeps away such thoughts.

I am not wicked-minded, my hearts not made of stone,
Yet I could avoid such heartbreak and I simply won't,
Once more you'll cry and I'll walk away coldly,
Because you want me to love you and I don't.

Lovely. I like it anyway.

golden lane · 13-05-2012 4:56pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

First poem I've written in a long long time...

I leave awkwardly each morning,
No kiss goodbye, no parting embrace,
Guilt overcoming my animal instincts,
A longing glance upon your face.

I never wanted to hurt you or lead you astray,
No malice in my intentions, despite the pain I've brought,
I tell myself I should stop, that I'll only hurt you again,
But lust always sweeps away such thoughts.

I am not wicked-minded, my hearts not made of stone,
Yet I could avoid such heartbreak and I simply won't,
Once more you'll cry and I'll walk away coldly,
Because you want me to love you and I don't.

.

very true.....great words...

Insect Overlord · 14-05-2012 3:01pm

Best Wishes

If one, by chance, should come to read
Some sample of my poetry,
I wish that there-in they will find
The work of a creative mind.

I wish to them that it be known,
Whether through image, sound or tone,
That I have always sought out new
Vehicles for my point of view.

I do not seek celebrity;
Just that these scribbles may be seen
And valued by a friendly eye
That finds wherein these words truths lie.

pickarooney · 14-05-2012 3:15pm

Blog-pimping in rhyming form. Got to hand it to you

Insect Overlord · 14-05-2012 4:21pm

pickarooney wrote: »

Blog-pimping in rhyming form. Got to hand it to you

The poem's about three years old, but I'm enjoying the extra mileage I'm getting from it this week. :pac: I should be ready to unleash the newer stuff from Write Club over the next few months.

golden lane · 15-05-2012 2:03am

great stuff io.....

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 26-05-2012 1:33am

They lie empty for much of the year,
But not yet abandoned,
Curious practices remain, tribal rituals persevere
Clung to in hope of something more,
Or in the face of our oldest fear,
Yet in Mays spate of first communions,
This spiritual remnant takes material forms,
A gilded display of hollow indulgence,
A bag of silver above the crown of thorns,
As few of the tribe now follow its creed
For good or for bad, they reject its demands,
Clinging to spiritual opiate they need,
The moral dictates of bishops,
Ignored in a society half-free,

Yet the tribe clings to its rituals,
A national legacy stubbornly defended,
Amidst the wrapping into Britain’s fold,
Religion and race linked tightly together,
The green, white and orange with the white and gold,
The way things are done, the way its always been,
A tribe in the grip of conformity’s hold,
Unlike those before me I can choose to dissent,
Exiled in spirit, but in body I remain,
And when I walk by churches
Or by the headstones grey,
I feel as though I trespass,
On the ancient tribes domain.

Stompbox · 03-06-2012 2:04pm

Here's a poem I wrote a year or two ago; I think I posted it in a thread before but there were no replies.

KNOWING --

Folded in darkness but content, still,
Collecting the pervasive perspective, and learning all the while,
Learning the myth, its way, and what it has done to you.
The fold, woven like a lucid snare, redefining escape as routine.
Trying to press between the inner sides, tight, yet done still.
Muscles shift; coast, reminding you to revise your presence
And consider, if the moment can find itself, why the fire inside your walls
could not ignite your heart. And the moment shuddered, the flame made frail,
but never quite enwrapped, also pressing a punishing rot.
Slowly, the sides found substance, raising foam,
Arresting your fingers, shoulders too, knotted together as time seemed less familiar.
Floating, and knowing that it could be enough.

DaneScott · 13-06-2012 12:42am

You breach my walls.
Truly, no one else does.
You've beheld my entirety.
No one else could.
Your fairness of complexion
Demands an ovation - a rise,
A fever of mind, an expulsion of time.
With a parlance echoing all arguments for love,
All the pleasantries well versed,
All the beauty of the world.

Gravity is a force which you pull.
The universe, it's meaning,
Is bowing to the feeling to submit my being
To your subtleties, surrendering everything.

You are what it is to be.
You know and own the whole of me.

DaneScott · 13-06-2012 1:45am

Never ever have I wrote for you.
I could try explain why, but I
Don't fully know the reasons.
Certainly, it's not a shortage of feelings.
Maybe it's because I wrote before for another,
Only for it to cause bother.
Too much time invested in a lover.
Behooving I to never articulate
Myself in such a way, again.

A fear, maybe, of repulsion.
Love misconstrued as obsession
Deterring another suitor.
Getting too heavy, needing someone so much
That I crush the future.
Fervour forbidding touch.
I've already been thought that lesson.
A great deal of my time
Given to deconstructing my mind.
All in the name of love,
In spite of what really was.
So I'm unnecessarily cautious, of course.

Nothing though, equals the sum of you now.
No sequence of symbols for sounds
Can explain just how I feel about you.
Without you.
It's complicated, like all relations.
It's wanting to brave this, better it,
That is a true indication of my love.
A fair representation of us.
Not just simple words.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 14-06-2012 12:39am

You left me abandoned,
On a rocky shore,
Cast away from all I knew,
As you arrived in a safe harbour,
I contemplated my chances,
How could I survive here?
Why would I want to?

As years passed,
My survival became certain,
But loneliness lingered on that barren isle,
As I wished it to
Forsaking all rescuers
All those who could help,
For what use were they
If they weren’t you?

When at last you rescued me,
From that solitary shore,
No jubilant return lay in store,
You were my sole motivation,
My reason to exist,
But while I confined myself to waiting,
You had carried on living,
You had sought so much more,

Though abandoned once more,
I hung on and remained,
Never again to be cast away,
But now my sailing is solitary
As I adventure alone,
Fearing that others will also stray.

howardmarks · 23-06-2012 11:32am

I say goodbye, This one last time
A happy troubled smile

About to exit those one way doors
I stop with sudden panic
Glancing back with uncertainty I wonder
Have I made a mistake?

I push on through quickly now
The familiar sound behind me
I'm outside now the grass is green here
Not quite as green as back through those doors

I don't know what a poem is people. Always disliked poetry in school as I felt it was forced upon us. People tastes are different etc.
Anyway I had a thought and wrote it down.

petrarch · 24-06-2012 3:10am

DaneScott wrote: »

Filleted a moth this evening.

Horrific really. Poor thing still breathing.

Still though, a curiosity had besieged me, on seeing

Another being, protruding from a crude opening

Below its torso, while poking it under scope.

I was hoping to get a closer look,

To understand what was unfolding.

What it took, was to lightly trim

Off the limbs. Whittle away the wings.

Other such deplorable things.

The precision needed to succeed in

Removing the unwanted pieces,

Attempting to reveal its species,

Left no room to consider the moths feelings.

I crushed its head with a tweezers.

Most likely a parasitic creature.

I took pictures. Spent hours observing its features.

With no success, My mind digressed,

I began thinking of sleeping.

I decided to keep it.

To see if tomorrow we could tease it

Into another suitor.

Though only to explore its nature.

I swear, never for pleasure.

But it died. I knew it would.

And all night, I dreamt moths ruled the world.

How about this?
I really liked Closing Time. Reads nice.

Reminds me of The Fish by Elizabeth Bishop.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-fish/

Very, very good.

4wd · 27-06-2012 4:05pm

the burning buddhist..

it takes but a second for the world to dissaper,
tinged in a flaming hue,
he stands for believe ,
as he burns in the street,

the silence broken,
gasps and scream from the mutes unspoken,
they stand ,
he sits,
and grips a scalded believe
clasped to a hand,
and blown to wind,

they stand and wail
and view,
the world ,
the fail,
and you.

fini

Ardillaun · 30-06-2012 8:09pm

A poem written about a visit to Killary Harbour a long time ago:

Killary

In our one true fjord, a pure stilleto wound
Of ocean that lies unsutured after birth,
Did longships taste their home's familiar gloom,
Beyond the rocks, beyond the dunes and surf?

An ancient diary claims we sailed through mist
On sodden hills, from Maam to dark Leenane,
Then lay becalmed by Mweelrea's harrowed fist
In a dented Renault Five with Sarah Vaughan.

Didn't we hear the choughs near Delphi call
To the cliffs above Doolough and back again?
They fade within this bright and manic mall
As you-shaped channels flicker upon a screen.

DaneScott · 08-07-2012 9:13pm

gah.

How much would it hurt if you lost her?
More than death, slaughter? The worst torture.
Would it be too raw to think she's not yours anymore,
That you can't touch her?
That there's no future.

If you're unsure,
You care not for conjecture,
You think all doubts boil down to a flutter,
Don't worry much more.
I did. Makes one ignore
The purest of love.

Just discuss your bouts of
Rousting up rebels of conscience,
That promote pure nonsense.
Act as a catalyst for contortion
Of all extensions of devotion.

Lest they season feelings of committing treason
Against the crown of reason,
The beacon of being calm.
The majesty of your man.

You'll poison her with your plan
To preserve your good hand.
Lead her to thinking she's mad.
Nurture confusion.
She'll think you're losing interest.
No compliments promoting the notion
Of no self respect.

Her love will regress.
You may not be able to address this.

You stand to lose more
Than just a lover.
You lose a friend. The chance to uncover
More ways to love her.
That freedom to touch her.
Too, room to confide in her.
To spend your life observing her stature.
Now that's a lot to consider.

So how much would it hurt if you lost her?
I think you'll agree, more than you would care for.
So, tell her she's beautiful. That you love her.
She's clever. There's no one better.
Never let her think anything other
Than you are meant to be together.
Her love need not falter.

Yours never has, never will. For sure.

Musiconomist · 08-07-2012 11:28pm

DaneScott wrote: »

Never ever have I wrote for you.
I could try explain why, but I
Don't fully know the reasons.
Certainly, it's not a shortage of feelings.
Maybe it's because I wrote before for another,
Only for it to cause bother.
Too much time invested in a lover.
Behooving I to never articulate
Myself in such a way, again.

A fear, maybe, of repulsion.
Love misconstrued as obsession
Deterring another suitor.
Getting too heavy, needing someone so much
That I crush the future....

Very nice

Musiconomist · 09-07-2012 12:05am

From the hills above your home,
I watch worlds I'll never know,
Unfolding, like a poem,
I see my love, come and go,

I hear her laugh, feel her joy,
Witness kindness each day,
Unaware of the boy,
Who wishes he could go play,

And at night, I hear her cry,
For a love she'll never see.
A moonlit tryst, gone awry,
Father's fury, daughter's plea.

A face, confined, to a frame,
Paid every price for his crimes,
Echoing, a forbidden name,
She looks for him sometimes,

Til memory steals him once more.

And life becomes a shadow,
of days that will never be,

DaneScott · 09-07-2012 1:52am

petrarch wrote: »

Reminds me of The Fish by Elizabeth Bishop.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-fish/

Very, very good.

that's a wonderful thing to be likened too. thank you very much.

DaneScott · 09-07-2012 1:53am

Musiconomist wrote: »

Very nice

thanks mate.

appreciate it.

DaneScott · 09-07-2012 1:55am

Musiconomist wrote: »

From the hills above your home,
I watch worlds I'll never know,
Unfolding, like a poem,
I see my love, come and go,

I hear her laugh, feel her joy,
Witness kindness each day,
Unaware of the boy,
Who wishes he could go play,

And at night, I hear her cry,
For a love she'll never see.
A moonlit tryst, gone awry,
Father's fury, daughter's plea.

A face, confined, to a frame,
Paid every price for his crimes,
Echoing, a forbidden name,
She looks for him sometimes,

Til memory steals him once more.

And life becomes a shadow,
of days that will never be,

this broke my heart a little bit.

cabaret · 17-07-2012 5:22pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

First poem I've written in a long long time...

I leave awkwardly each morning,
No kiss goodbye, no parting embrace,
Guilt overcoming my animal instincts,
A longing glance upon your face.

I never wanted to hurt you or lead you astray,
No malice in my intentions, despite the pain I've brought,
I tell myself I should stop, that I'll only hurt you again,
But lust always sweeps away such thoughts.

I am not wicked-minded, my hearts not made of stone,
Yet I could avoid such heartbreak and I simply won't,
Once more you'll cry and I'll walk away coldly,
Because you want me to love you and I don't.

Great work here (",) I can relate to every line...thanks for sharing!

Poetry Megathread

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