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Parents are you strict?

  • 11-08-2011 7:51pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 4,517 ✭✭✭


    Basically i was watching this program called "Worlds strictest parents" the australian version the teens went to ireland for a week and stayed with the parents with their kids.

    Here is the rules and what their kids have to do -
    -
    1. They have to use their pocket money to buy their own clothes.
    2. Strictly no swearing in their house, one of the kids said "damit damit" and the parents got very annoyed apperantly.
    3. The parents control what their kids download (thats fair enough, i would do the same)
    4. Weeknight TV is banned
    5. Mobile phones must be handed to the parents every night.
    6. No Social life on weekdays, no going out with friends on weekdays.

    Now i think thats abit over the top -
    --
    Stopping a child from having a Social life is not helping his/her Social and communication skill's and interacting with other Children their age, i think this would put children under pressure and could lead to stress when they get to their teen's, they need enjoyment at their age they need to make the most of it before they get college and then work. Its not the 50s/60s anymore the world is a bigger place, people are closer then ever before, if its through the internet and social websites mobiles and just meeting up and talking.

    Are you this strict?


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 155 ✭✭Shellygoose


    The above sounds a bit OTT in my opinion. I think its important to have boundaries and consequences if these boundaries are broken....but a child needs to have some enjoyment out of their lives


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,517 ✭✭✭RobitTV


    The above sounds a bit OTT in my opinion. I think its important to have boundaries and consequences if these boundaries are broken....but a child needs to have some enjoyment out of their lives

    I Agree, there must be some rules like "you must be home by 5 if not your not allowed at tomorrow" But those rules that family has put in place are abit Over the top.

    Children need to enjoy the most of their young life


  • Registered Users Posts: 381 ✭✭Kildrought


    1. They have to use their pocket money to buy their own clothes.
    By age 12/13 my children were given an amount of money & had to buy their own clothes from that. I never did weekly 'pocket money'; mainly cos I didn't have it or I'd forget or something!

    2. Strictly no swearing in their house, one of the kids said "damit damit" and the parents got very annoyed apperantly.

    Can't abide language or put downs myself - shut up particularly annoys me. Having said that it's never any harm to be deaf on occasion.

    3. The parents control what their kids download (thats fair enough, i would do the same)
    Yep, keep an eye out.

    4. Weeknight TV is banned
    Exam years - yep pretty limited, but not necessarily banned outright.

    5. Mobile phones must be handed to the parents every night.
    Yep, had to do this with eldest - she was texting in the middle of the night, not sleeping & not getting up for school

    6. No Social life on weekdays, no going out with friends on weekdays.
    This was pretty much the case in my house more due to where we live than anything else.

    Don't consider any of that to be too horrendous.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    So you were watching a 'Reality TV' show and you're asking if it compares to actual reality? Just checking I have this right.

    It's like comparing X Factor to an actual talent show.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,517 ✭✭✭RobitTV


    Orion wrote: »
    So you were watching a 'Reality TV' show and you're asking if it compares to actual reality? Just checking I have this right.

    It's like comparing X Factor to an actual talent show.

    What in the name of god are you on about?? :confused:

    Its not fake you know its real, Thats why they spend 1000's on sending bad kids to new homes for a week, if it was fake the whole idea of the show would be completely pointless!!

    Infact i wouldn't be starting this thread if it was bloody fake!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭Ayla


    So the possibility that the kids & parents - and the situations they come across - may have been dramatised to increase viewing figures hasn't crossed your mind? The fact that the producers edit the tapes & show only the sensational stuff, the controversial methods....not a possibility?

    That's what (I think) Orion's an about.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    What Ayla said.

    Don't be so naive. Reality TV is not real. Apart from the fact that the situation is stage managed anyway what you actually get to see on TV is decided by the producers based on what will get people watching again. You cannot compare reality tv to actual reality.


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,952 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    I think it depends on the ages of the kids.

    Here is the rules and what their kids have to do -
    -
    1. They have to use their pocket money to buy their own clothes.
    2. Strictly no swearing in their house, one of the kids said "damit damit" and the parents got very annoyed apperantly.
    3. The parents control what their kids download (thats fair enough, i would do the same)
    4. Weeknight TV is banned
    5. Mobile phones must be handed to the parents every night.
    6. No Social life on weekdays, no going out with friends on weekdays.

    [/QUOTE]

    1. I worked so bought my own clothes and had my own money. (from about 12) so no problem with this.
    2. Teenagers should not be allowed to swear
    3. Depends on the,maturity and who owns the pc and pays for the internet.
    4.I don't have a huge problem with this once there is entertainment provided for the kids eg books,friends,music
    5. Depends who pays for it and if they stay up all night on it.
    6. If there can be exceptions and sports and after school activities are allowed then no real problem with this.

    I will try watch an episoder then decide!

    This will be the 1st generation growing up with laptops and mobile phones so I think there are a host of new parenting issues that did not exist before.


  • Registered Users Posts: 192 ✭✭Galwaymother


    I actually think the 6 rules make sense and are nothing out of the ordinary.

    1. They have to use their pocket money to buy their own clothes.

    If they have regular and sufficient pocket money, I think it's a really good idea, as it teaches them to budget and avoids the mad consumerist tendencies teens can have. I would make an exception for uniforms, sensible clothes such as a winter coat etc. It's giving me ideas for September!

    2. Strictly no swearing in their house, one of the kids said "damit damit" and the parents got very annoyed apperantly.

    I can't abide swearing and lax language and do not allow even 'like' or 'kinda' in my presence without reminding them (gently) to speak clearly and correctly. I think good linguistic habits are one of the most important gifts a parent can give.

    3.The parents control what their kids download (thats fair enough, i would do the same)

    This is of course crucial, up to the age of 15/16 anyway. Plus the computer and Internet connection is mine!

    4. Weeknight TV is banned

    We do not have (and never had) a television, as it is so time-consuming, literally. Our children can watch specific shows or films on our DVD screen or on the computer. I really believe TV is "the opium of the people". Our girls have absolutely no problem with this, and they see enough of it at friends or cousins...


    5. Mobile phones must be handed to the parents every night.

    I've had to implement this rule as I found also my eldest was texting at all hours and not being sensible. After all, I pay for the phone AND the credit!

    6. No Social life on weekdays, no going out with friends on weekdays.

    What is the definition of a social life at that age? I count relaxing with family and friends/ neighbours in the house or garden, sport training, listening to and playing music together, etc, once all homework is done as social life. As for going out to town or outings during the week, that is rare, there is simply no time with after-school activities. "Hanging around' is best kept to a minimal single day a week, unless it's holiday time!

    I would add
    7. No undue snacking, and no junk food or sweets or sodas except on special occasions...

    I think that is very important from the start, and it is shocking how even primary schools don't implement their own 'Healthy Eating' policies.

    I am of the opinion we are often too lenient with our teenagers. I have been seen as strict by some parents, but my own children seem very happy and contented, and extremely successful in what they take on.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,214 ✭✭✭cbyrd


    Yep take the phone off them at night so i can check it
    One hour per day max on the laptop

    Spend they're own money on clothes that they want as opposed to need

    If you swear in my house you better have a very good reason.. adult or child

    No tv in our house til homework is finished and then not after 7pm week day or week end.. we've only got the one telly and i have control of the remote when home and away is over :D summer hols it's different.. on a wet day they can watch it

    I'd go mad if i had them underfoot all day every day. once homework is done get out of my house.. unless it's raining then go watch tv or hoover or polish :D
    I do relax the rules during summer hols cos kids need a bit of freedom, when we were small we were out all day every day and just came home to be fed. during the school year it was bed at 8 read for a while and then lights out.
    Being too strict can stifle a child and lead to them not having confidence in social situations.

    All reality TV is a manipulation of real life.. if you listened to the come dine with me gang on the radio they were saying how very little of what was put out on tv actually happened the way it was portrayed. . . ratings. . :rolleyes:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    I would just be a little afraid that such OTT strictness would lead to some kind of equivalent OTT behaviour when they got a bit of freedom, like if they went away to college or away with their school for a summer trip or something.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    I'm pretty strict with my 8 year old. Obviously I buy her clothes and she's too young for a phone.
    But I limit her use of internet and tv and restrict what she watches. She is allowed out to play, in fact she is forced out to play. Bedtime is quite early especially during school term. I am really strict about swearing, manners, behaviour etc.

    On the other hand I speak to her freely about sex, relationships, drinking, drugs etc. If she asks me a question I answer it as honestly as possible with a side warning not to pass the info onto her friends as their parents might not want them to know.

    Many of my friends/family think she "knows too much" but I'd rather have her knowing the truth than some urban myth.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    I'm a bit more relaxed then yous lot,

    My 12 year old I buy all her clothes she decides what she wants and if we agree she gets it.

    She has a phone but it's normally out of battery so no midnight texting...

    Tv whenever she wants it's turned of at 10 on weeknights and 11 or 11.30 weekends

    She doest download anything but has Facebook account....

    She sometimes meets friends on weekday evenings and at weekends by her own choice she is out with friends most of the time.


    Horse riding from 10am till 7 pm on saturdays her choice.

    She is allowed a glass of wine or west coat cooler sometimes she is allowed 2... She knows drugs are a no no and always will be.

    she is raised catholic but I tell her to question everything if she believes there is a god it's her that has to decide if she wants to be catholic or not or what religion she wants to believe.



    Snacks as she needs them as she is diabetic,

    She can curse around us normally it's oh s&&t. Or FFs she does get told not to use it too much but she can be herself around us but NOT AT us, all the kids swear at school.

    She will ask me and talk to me about sex and tampons and boob implants n weight gain and so on.... I try and teach her to be respectful and have respect for herself not a if you have it flaunt it attitude. I do her make up and also let her do her own make up but it has to be to my liking not ott, she ain't going out looking like Jordan..... Has to be natural looking.

    Quite chilled out really......


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,239 ✭✭✭KittyeeTrix


    I'd be very chilled as well with my kids......

    I live out in a rural area so the 2 eldest dont hang out on street corners as I would've done as a teenager so they are very much in a lot

    The eldest lad is 17 and is allowed out ( on special events nights) for drinks with friends. He did get into trouble a year ago but has along with us managed to learn how to have a night out without losing the run of himself.... I feel at almost 17 and a half that it is important to let him develop this skill rather than him turning 18 and not having a clue!! ( this works for us, but obv, is not for everyone)

    I don't really censor tv, they are all free to watch pretty much what they want. This also extends to videogames and again I've had people including my own sisters try to debate the rights/wrongs of it with me....

    Tbh, I'm not one of your conventional parents but my kids are the most mannerly, considerate kids you could hope to meet. They've never been rude to me or other adults, I've never had them raise their voice or even roll their eyes to heaven....

    They don't swear at each other but the eldest lads would use some colourful language when online x-boxing with their mates.....

    As I've said, it works for us!! We are a happy house considering we have 2 teenagers living in it and I wouldn't change a thing about the way I parent:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 192 ✭✭Galwaymother


    She is allowed a glass of wine or west coat cooler sometimes she is allowed 2...

    Just a point about this....
    Being French I always believed it's a good habit to get teens used to taste wine or beer within the family meal context, Champagne in special occasions, in tiny amounts, etc, so it doesn't turn into the "forbidden fruit" attraction at 18...I do it with my own teen.

    BUT

    I have lately read (cannot remember where) that this (continental/middle-class?) attitude of letting children taste alcohol within the family (i.e. early alcohol introduction with parental permission)leads to more alcoholism problems than the traditional Irish/ American full prohibition. I think there was a thread about it...

    I'm relatively lost now, though I'll follow my instinct of making her taste tiny amounts, for the taste and not the drunkenness aspect. :D

    It might be OT, but what do you do think about it?


  • Registered Users Posts: 92 ✭✭whatcartoget


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEmwpRJb5Ps
    This is the episode of worlds strictest parents in Ireland!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    Hi Galway mom,

    My lady is diabetic since the age of 7, she is well aware that getting drunk could kill her.... We very rarely have alcohol in the house but when we do she is allowed some....

    I grew up where I could drink alcohol in the house as I had an alcoholic dad, and I rarely drink, however my brother followed in his dads foot steps... I ve heard addictive tendencies run in families......


    Depends on the person really.....


  • Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭xyl.az


    This is beginning to become a serious issue for me and my 13 years old daughter as well.

    As a foreigner I'm totally lost in confrontation with irish teenage drinking/swearing/knackers culture. I'm trying to enforce some rules at home but I know I cannot compete with the outside world which is much more important for her obviously...

    She's 14 now, we arrived here when she was 9, so she practically finished the primary school here and now its the college... She knows here place very well so she wouldn't swear of misbehave at home. But when I see her outside with her 'school friends' or during conversation in the internet she's practically a young slut...

    Her life is all about drinks, fags & weed, talking sexually offensive thrash to everyone around with absolutely no self-respect for her own wellbeing. When asked why is she behaving like that she answered - because everyone is doing that... In school, outside, everywhere kids especially males are just treating girls like ****, asking them for a blowjob, spanking their asses and such. I saw it once and believe me it was a horror... Then I read her facebook conversations and I've found much much more there...

    I'm in shock and I don't really know what to do. Right now I'm even considering leaving the country if I won't find another solution.

    We were trying to talk with her about it, but she completely do not understand the issue here, she grew in this culture and for her offensive sexually abusive language and no-respect for herself is a completely normal thing, she started to lie about everyone and everything 24/7 like all her 'friends' do (part of the cultural stereotype as well), she started to drink, smoke etc... all within one year

    Maybe I'm just an old guy but for me this is the road to self destruction... Especially with super-low education level here in Ireland these kids have nothing to do... School is not even a challenge... The only culture they can see are young people who treat themselves as ****, with absolutely no respect to anyone, drinking drugging and smoking... What other alternative can I offer her here in Ireland???


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    xyl.az wrote: »
    This is beginning to become a serious issue for me and my 13 years old daughter as well.

    As a foreigner I'm totally lost in confrontation with irish teenage drinking/swearing/knackers culture. I'm trying to enforce some rules at home but I know I cannot compete with the outside world which is much more important for her obviously...

    She's 14 now, we arrived here when she was 9, so she practically finished the primary school here and now its the college... She knows here place very well so she wouldn't swear of misbehave at home. But when I see her outside with her 'school friends' or during conversation in the internet she's practically a young slut...

    Her life is all about drinks, fags & weed, talking sexually offensive thrash to everyone around with absolutely no self-respect for her own wellbeing. When asked why is she behaving like that she answered - because everyone is doing that... In school, outside, everywhere kids especially males are just treating girls like ****, asking them for a blowjob, spanking their asses and such. I saw it once and believe me it was a horror... Then I read her facebook conversations and I've found much much more there...

    I'm in shock and I don't really know what to do. Right now I'm even considering leaving the country if I won't find another solution.

    We were trying to talk with her about it, but she completely do not understand the issue here, she grew in this culture and for her offensive sexually abusive language and no-respect for herself is a completely normal thing, she started to lie about everyone and everything 24/7 like all her 'friends' do (part of the cultural stereotype as well), she started to drink, smoke etc... all within one year

    Maybe I'm just an old guy but for me this is the road to self destruction... Especially with super-low education level here in Ireland these kids have nothing to do... School is not even a challenge... The only culture they can see are young people who treat themselves as ****, with absolutely no respect to anyone, drinking drugging and smoking... What other alternative can I offer her here in Ireland???


    Thats a tough situation to be in, I don't know what to advise but I hope someone can help you but don't run down all Irish teenagers. Not all of them are doing this kind of thing and even with our "super low education level" :mad: most of them know their boundries.

    My 15 yr old girl is thankfully not in a crowd like that, her life revolves around music and the computer. All her friends are decent sorts. I think having an interest makes a difference sometimes. My daughter always tells me she can't afford to be drinking cause it would leave her with no money to spend on her music.

    Where is your daughter getting the money to drink? What kind of curfew does she have? Have you met her friends and their parents? Are they aware of what is going on? Could there be something deeper going on in her life that you are not aware of?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    xyl.az, your child sounds like she is hanging around with the wrong crowd. That is not normal or acceptable behaviour for Irish teenagers.

    School should be a challenge unless she has dropped her subjects to ordinary level instead of higher. If she is actually bored, then let her take additional subjects. I took 12 subjects to junior cert, and 9 to the leaving.

    She will get upset, so it may not be worth the upset to the family, but maybe consider changing her school. Your profile says east cork, there are plenty of secondary schools there. We are from that area as well, and I think I can guess what school you are talking about...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,423 ✭✭✭Morag


    xyl.az honestly if that was my teen I would be coming down like a tonne of bricks.
    She'd had to earn back any privileges such as net accesses, molbile phone, money and being let out to see 'friends. She would also have a list of chores to do around the house.

    She's 13, she's not an adult, she's not as in charge of her own life as she thinks she is.
    I know it won't be easy but the hard choices for those we love rarely are.


  • Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭mirekb


    xyl.az wrote: »
    This is beginning to become a serious issue for me and my 13 years old daughter as well.

    As a foreigner I'm totally lost in confrontation with irish teenage drinking/swearing/knackers culture. I'm trying to enforce some rules at home but I know I cannot compete with the outside world which is much more important for her obviously...

    She's 14 now, we arrived here when she was 9, so she practically finished the primary school here and now its the college... She knows here place very well so she wouldn't swear of misbehave at home. But when I see her outside with her 'school friends' or during conversation in the internet she's practically a young slut...

    Her life is all about drinks, fags & weed, talking sexually offensive thrash to everyone around with absolutely no self-respect for her own wellbeing. When asked why is she behaving like that she answered - because everyone is doing that... In school, outside, everywhere kids especially males are just treating girls like ****, asking them for a blowjob, spanking their asses and such. I saw it once and believe me it was a horror... Then I read her facebook conversations and I've found much much more there...

    I'm in shock and I don't really know what to do. Right now I'm even considering leaving the country if I won't find another solution.

    We were trying to talk with her about it, but she completely do not understand the issue here, she grew in this culture and for her offensive sexually abusive language and no-respect for herself is a completely normal thing, she started to lie about everyone and everything 24/7 like all her 'friends' do (part of the cultural stereotype as well), she started to drink, smoke etc... all within one year

    Maybe I'm just an old guy but for me this is the road to self destruction... Especially with super-low education level here in Ireland these kids have nothing to do... School is not even a challenge... The only culture they can see are young people who treat themselves as ****, with absolutely no respect to anyone, drinking drugging and smoking... What other alternative can I offer her here in Ireland???

    One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was that when something goes wrong with your child (and 14 is still a child) then try a different parenting tactic. She is spreading her wings in the wrong direction and you need I am sure you are a great parent and if it were me I would cut all internet access until she can be trusted to use it in an appropriate manner, ground her until she can be trusted not to put herself in un safe situations and find her an activity/organised sport etc.. Tell her why you're doing it along the way and don't shout and scream. Good luck, it's so difficult to be a parent of any age child but I think parents of teenage girls deserve a special medal!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,227 ✭✭✭Sam Mac


    I'm a bit more relaxed then yous lot,

    My 12 year old I buy all her clothes she decides what she wants and if we agree she gets it.

    She has a phone but it's normally out of battery so no midnight texting...

    Tv whenever she wants it's turned of at 10 on weeknights and 11 or 11.30 weekends

    She doest download anything but has Facebook account....

    She sometimes meets friends on weekday evenings and at weekends by her own choice she is out with friends most of the time.


    Horse riding from 10am till 7 pm on saturdays her choice.

    She is allowed a glass of wine or west coat cooler sometimes she is allowed 2... She knows drugs are a no no and always will be.

    she is raised catholic but I tell her to question everything if she believes there is a god it's her that has to decide if she wants to be catholic or not or what religion she wants to believe.



    Snacks as she needs them as she is diabetic,

    She can curse around us normally it's oh s&&t. Or FFs she does get told not to use it too much but she can be herself around us but NOT AT us, all the kids swear at school.

    She will ask me and talk to me about sex and tampons and boob implants n weight gain and so on.... I try and teach her to be respectful and have respect for herself not a if you have it flaunt it attitude. I do her make up and also let her do her own make up but it has to be to my liking not ott, she ain't going out looking like Jordan..... Has to be natural looking.

    Quite chilled out really......

    You allow your 12 year old to drink a glass of wine, TWO ? Jesus.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,364 ✭✭✭golden lane


    simple rules for my kids (all grown up now )......

    i speak....you obey (i don't speak very often)...

    no stealing..

    no making other peoples life a misery....

    no swearing in front of your parents....(they still don't )..

    ring up when you are staying out......

    early nights on school days.......


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    No rules to speak of in my household. The only one is manners and respect for yourself as well as others. I came from quite a brutal background where the family motto was "my way or the highway" and I was determined not to repeat that. I also had my first child in my teens so really I didn't have a clue what I was doing and was just trying my best.

    I am an open book to my kids, I would hope that anything they want to talk about or are curious about they can come to me about them. We talk a lot as a family, I love listening to the teenager and learning about her view of the world. We don't always agree on things but thats all part of the fun. I respect her as a person and an individual. I understand that making mistakes is an important part of growing up and that we can't expect our children to be perfect.

    All I want is for my kids to grow up happy, healthy and well adjusted members of society. Certain things I can let slide, I think as a parent its important to pick your battles wisely.

    They know their parents are reasonable and nothing is so bad they cannot talk to us about it. So far so good. Never had a problem with them touch wood.

    There is no "right" way to parent, its so much more than what you do, hence you have families where all the kids are raised the same but one sometimes goes off the rails. You just have to trust yourself and do the best you can and hope for the best sometimes and trust that whatever they may do they eventually find their way.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,260 ✭✭✭Mink


    xyl.az wrote: »
    The only culture they can see are young people who treat themselves as ****, with absolutely no respect to anyone, drinking drugging and smoking... What other alternative can I offer her here in Ireland???

    I'm not a parent (soon to be though!) but I'm ashamed to say I was very very like your daughter at 14. My parents were very lenient with me but in fairness to them I used to lie through my teeth and was very sneaky. I cringe when I think of what I did and got away with.

    I only calmed down when we moved to a completely different country (due to my dad's work). I was heartbroken initially but I settled into a new life and got back to the books & did better in school (though I continued smoking behind their backs :mad:).

    I'm not necessarily saying that you need to move country but what needs to happen is that she is disconnected from that "scene" - the group of friends, internet connection, TV shows that encourage it (basically any reality shows).

    My sister was also completely out of control (far worse than your daughter or me) until she was 18 and had moved to another city for work. My parents organised it and was only meant to be temporary (getting some training) but she ended up staying there and totally changed (now has her own business, husband, two gorgeous kids, very happy). She changed because she got away from the drugs scene she was in with the friends she had at the time, the low life guys she was seeing, the club scene etc.

    Back on topic... I plan on being reasonably strict (but fair) and depending on the existing circumstances, I would probably do similar things to the parents in that show. I say this now...


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I dont think that list is overly strict at all :confused:

    1. They have to use their pocket money to buy their own clothes.
    Aside from essentials such as uniforms and warm coats and shoes, I'd very much agree. in our house growing up, if you wanted to earn and save up money for fashion items (levis and DM boots in my day, the parents would meet us halfway if they saw we were making a genuine effort and foregoing our little luxuries to put aside money for what we wanted. But if we didnt make the effort, they wouldnt buy it for us. It taught us to be savvy with our money, swap with friends, hunt around for bargains.

    2. Strictly no swearing in their house, one of the kids said "damit damit" and the parents got very annoyed apperantly.
    Swearing was a big thing in our house. My parents never swore, not even in the company of other adults and didnt tolerate it in their kids. I'd be a bit more lax myself, perhaps allow swearing at a situation, but never at someone, or being disrespectful to others.

    3. The parents control what their kids download (thats fair enough, i would do the same)
    Ditto.

    4. Weeknight TV is banned
    We were allowed a set amount of time that we could watch, and we had to all agree on the programmes - anytime outside of the news times was allowed up to bedtime. I think we got a 2 hr allotment. TV never went on in the mornings as we'd never have been organised enough to get to school on time

    5. Mobile phones must be handed to the parents every night.
    If they are texting half the night, I'd do this too

    6. No Social life on weekdays, no going out with friends on weekdays.
    Outside of extra curricular activities such as sports or hobbies or a study group, I'd agree. Weekends are plenty for teens to catch up with their friends - after all they see them all day too.

    I consider family life and interaction equally important and between homework and mealtimes and early nights for school, there is not much more time parents can catch up with their children and what is going on in their lives.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,340 ✭✭✭Please Kill Me


    I'm a firm believer in the adage that children should be seen and not heard! I have 5 children, 10, 8, 6, 4 and 1 yr old. They do what they're told, when they're told. No back-cheek, no tantrums, no speaking out of turn permitted. My partner and I were told recently that we have the most mannerly children they had seen. There's a reason for that, it's called not letting them away with murder, it's called no-means-no.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I'm a firm believer in the adage that children should be seen and not heard! I have 5 children, 10, 8, 6, 4 and 1 yr old. They do what they're told, when they're told. No back-cheek, no tantrums, no speaking out of turn permitted. My partner and I were told recently that we have the most mannerly children they had seen. There's a reason for that, it's called not letting them away with murder, it's called no-means-no.

    Wow that's pretty strict...do you worry when they get to their teenage years and have a bit more independence that they may go the other way?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    My fella is only 15 months but these are the values which are important to my husband and I.

    The things I'd be very strict on are education and manners. They will go to school unless they're genuinely sick. There won't be any duvet week days in our home.

    They will be taught to be mannerly and respectful. We, as parents, will be respectful of them in return and we'd teach them to respect themselves too.

    I don't want my kids swearing like fishwives. I'm sure they'll do it with their peers but I'd like to think they'd be articulate enough to be able to form sentences without strings of expletives. There's a time and place for cursing but it's awful to hear people (young and old) constantly cursing when they speak.


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