He says / she says

Christy Manure · 07-10-2008 7:50pm

Dragan wrote: »

I'm actually starting to get the impression that the OP walked around the family do all day in an obvious "i don't want to be hear tone."

I'm also starting to think his OH new exactly what she was doing by interrupting his show! lol

What caused your impression to change? You didn't receive any new information. It is exactly like a child at the end of a day during which they got more leeway than usual - sweets, staying up late, tv etc. You can take one look at them and know that they are going to push it to the point of tears, and they can no more stop themselves than you can stop them.She got what she wanted all day, so then had to push it until she was told no. In fact, the whole business probably made her happy, as it served to reinforce her boundaries and keep her in her place.

Stheno · 07-10-2008 8:07pm

Christy Manure wrote: »

What caused your impression to change? You didn't receive any new information. It is exactly like a child at the end of a day during which they got more leeway than usual - sweets, staying up late, tv etc. You can take one look at them and know that they are going to push it to the point of tears, and they can no more stop themselves than you can stop them.She got what she wanted all day, so then had to push it until she was told no. In fact, the whole business probably made her happy, as it served to reinforce her boundaries and keep her in her place.

:eek::eek:

That's a great attitude to an adult relationship you have there OP!

Lil' Smiler · 07-10-2008 8:28pm

Why hasn't the gf posted yet?

Stheno · 07-10-2008 8:31pm

Lil' Smiler wrote: »

Why hasn't the gf posted yet?

She's an imaginary being?

brianthebard · 07-10-2008 8:32pm

Lil' Smiler wrote: »

Why hasn't the gf posted yet?

She's in the corner, crying for sweeties. So he cut off her internetz.

Blush_01 · 07-10-2008 8:36pm

And there was something wrong with your vocal cords that you couldn't let your other half know that you wanted to watch the rest of the DVD and would talk to her later? Perhaps you should have moo-ed at her, you'd probably have ended up less stressed out about your girlfriend wanting to spend time with you and you both might have been happier.

Way to communicate!

St Bill · 07-10-2008 8:36pm

brianthebard wrote: »

She's in the corner, crying for sweeties. So he cut off her internetz.

That, or it's very hard to type when you're inflatable

Mikel · 07-10-2008 8:40pm

F.A. wrote: »

Seriously, can you not just stop the DVD for the five seconds it takes to tell her: "I'm totally knackered and really need to switch off right now. Can we talk later/tomorrow?"

Yeah right, that would go down like a lead balloon. Don't confuse how women like to think they like to be communicated with, with the reality.
She was looking for attention, simple as that. Well articulated statements about why this is not a good time won't suffice.
I guarantee if he had said that, there would have been several days of 'Oh so you want to talk to me NOW?' kind of carry on.

OP either indulge the childish carry on of the person you're with or find someone less needy

F.A. · 07-10-2008 8:54pm

Mikel wrote: »

Yeah right, that would go down like a lead balloon. Don't confuse how women like to think they like to be communicated with, with the reality.
She was looking for attention, simple as that. Well articulated statements about why this is not a good time won't suffice.
I guarantee if he had said that, there would have been several days of 'Oh so you want to talk to me NOW?' kind of carry on.

OP either indulge the childish carry on of the person you're with or find someone less needy

The last bit in your post says it all, really. If you want to entertain partners who behave in that childish way you describe, go ahead, but please spare those of us who are actually grown up such sweeping generalisations.

St Bill · 07-10-2008 8:54pm

Mikel wrote: »

Yeah right, that would go down like a lead balloon. Don't confuse how women like to think they like to be communicated with, with the reality.
She was looking for attention, simple as that. Well articulated statements about why this is not a good time won't suffice.
I guarantee if he had said that, there would have been several days of 'Oh so you want to talk to me NOW?' kind of carry on.

Oh no girls, he's on to us. Everybody disperse (you all know the plan) and we'll all re-group in Central Europe underneath the clock tower. Synchronising watches.....

St Bill · 07-10-2008 9:08pm

F.A. wrote: »

The last bit in your post says it all, really. If you want to entertain partners who behave in that childish way you describe, go ahead, but please spare those of us who are actually grown up such sweeping generalisations.

Don't worry F.A., we know that men aren't as unbalanced as some of your fellow men (they know who they are

) would like us to believe

Loopy · 07-10-2008 9:19pm

I see both sides in this.. If Im watching something I really like I hate being interrupted (if its pausable - problem solved).

On the other hand if I come after having a sh1t day and want a meaningless offload I would like my partner to listen for a while - 5/10mins (having pressed pause of course) and then I would totter off and leave him at it!!

Isnt that what love is about??

Jules · 07-10-2008 9:52pm

I can see both sides myself, i can understand her wanting to have a chat, if she spent the day with family she probably didn't feel like you had spent any quailty time together, and you thought you had done your boyfriendly duty for the day. But.... could ya not of just said honey im watching something and im kinda tired, can we chat later/tomorrow i just want to chill out. Instead of having a fight.

Everyone does deserve "me" time but your relationship deserves "we" time.

b3t4 · 07-10-2008 9:59pm

What a delightful society we live in that whatever is on tv is more important than a human being.

OP,
Your DVD has a pause button.
Your girlfriend does not a have a pause button
Therefore, in future, ingage your brain and pause the DVD.

A.

ali.c · 07-10-2008 10:00pm

farohar wrote: »

Alas, some women aren't good at thinking logically which makes them rather prone to blatent hypocrisy and yet somehow being disturbingly ignorant of this.

Or perhaps the opinions are coming from different women who have different opinions and all that.:eek:

Seriously if i posted saying my OH was interrupting my viewing pleasure on one occasion and i reckoned it was cause it wanted to keep me obedient i reckon there'd be alot of roll eyes from men!

Seriously though in any relationship sometimes your OH will interrupt you and some times you will interrupt them sometimes for important reasons sometimes for nothing at all and you need to be able to communicate through this

Reku · 07-10-2008 10:06pm

Don't remember saying I was agreeing with the OP ali.c, I was only agreeing with Tara in that post.

Nevyn · 07-10-2008 10:09pm

If you need so much unwind and alone time why are you living together ?

Seriously if I ever get to the stage of moving in with someone I would want my own room / study for me time, no wonder some people have seperate bedrooms.

Tar.Aldarion · 07-10-2008 10:15pm

b3t4 wrote: »

What a delightful society we live in that whatever is on tv is more important than a human being.

OP,
Your DVD has a pause button.
Your girlfriend does not a have a pause button
Therefore, in future, ingage your brain and pause the DVD.

A.

Unfortunately.

ali.c · 07-10-2008 10:17pm

farohar wrote: »

Don't remember saying I was agreeing with the OP ali.c, I was only agreeing with Tara in that post.

Lol, well perhaps i misunderstood Tara's post, seemed to me that he alluded to the variety of opinions women had on the issue as hyprocisy- my point is as much as i had one was women dont have one mind or one opinion on these things- Mind you bit dopey at the moment so maybe i misread it

Piste · 07-10-2008 10:23pm

It seems to me that the boyfriend here is so fearful of becoming "whipped" that he's being deliberately sullen and eh, not "obeying" his girlfriend so he can show her how un "whipped" he is.

It seems that both of don't have the best interpersonal skills as he just sat there sulking instead of politely telling her he really needed vegging time, and she didn't get his oh so subtle hint of constantly pausing the TV show.

She Devil · 07-10-2008 10:31pm

It is definately not me!!

This has got to be a wind up, nobody could be that pig headed!!

themadchef · 07-10-2008 10:38pm

Communicte or seperate. Overly simplistic? possibly.
Saving you both life time of contempt? possibly

I'm just not getting any "we're ll loved up" apart from this one little thingy from you.

I think this is a wind up tbh.

St Bill · 07-10-2008 10:44pm

Tara Le d'Arion wrote: »

Unfortunately.

This post leads me to think that you don't value women's opinions (print/text really lacks the warmth of face to face communication I find).
So I'm going to ask a fair question....why are you in the Ladies Lounge?

Tar.Aldarion · 07-10-2008 11:41pm

I am the girlfriend.

The Sweeper · 08-10-2008 12:01am

This is one of those threads that makes moderators weep.

Here it goes:

The OP is clearly a trolling muppet - one of those bored blokes who wanders into TLL every so often and makes sweeping statements about the entire female race in the hope of generating the sort of reaction you get if you let a fox into the henhouse. HOWEVER, he has initiated what is quite an interesting discussion on TV time and interruptability within a relationship, so I'm leaving this thread open.

What I would appreciate is if people don't continue to feed the troll. Please, by all means, continue your discussion about conversation etiquette in relationships, but don't bother taking offence at the OP's theories on women thriving on control and fantasy.

Elle Victorine · 08-10-2008 2:57am

Haha I got a good laugh off this situation i have to say. An even bigger laugh at your opinion of women as a single unit.

Hmmm...did you ever think it was just as busy a day for her having to make a comedy out of your throwback androcentrism? You're going out with her, her family comes with the territory. Maybe her way of winding down is by talking to you. Least she actually wants to listen to your input. You should be thankful for it on some level at least. In future if it's bothering you just say it diplomatically. It's about decent communication not starting an argument because you didn't take assertive action and tell her to leave you alone for a while. That's your fault. Not hers.

Conversely no argument can be won by "you just don't understand women". You migth as well tell him you don't understand the inner workings of a couple of hundred million individuals. Of course he doesn't. Women aren't a unit and do not respond to situations in unison. Seriosuly like. If she even said that.

(just read above)

Anyway

There is a simple answer to all of this....If someone is busy you don't interrupt them unless it's important. Whether you view someone's watching a programme as me time or not, it essentially is. If he views it, or she views it as their time, deal with it. I don't interrupt my other half when he's watching something to do with WWII on television because he's busy as far as I'm concerned. He has a real interest in the topic so if he's watching it he's made the conscious decision to pay attention to it. I can either sit and watch it or I'll do something else. It's the same for him. If I'm busy reading or watching something on television he knows to shut up and go away or sit and watch. If it's genuinely important then fine. No bother we'll chat. Otherwise it's television time/me time. That's not to say it's a foolproof notion. We both slip from time to time but it shouldn't end in an argument I mean wtf like? You're both just making a mountain out of a molehill.

I come from a house of women who insist on asking questions about everything on the tv when I'm busy watching it. My grandmother does it to make a point that she doesn't want to watch it so she'll badger you till you leave. I on the other hand take after my father. If I'm watching it and you don't get it or aren't interested in it...head off. I wouldn't be watching it if I hadn't made the conscious decision to turn it on. It's just dog ignorant sometimes. However instead of lfying off the handle and gettig offended just deal with it properly. AS was said above. COmmunication. If you don't have that with your partner just give up.

Maple · 08-10-2008 9:32am

Where do I get me one of those slavishly devoted butler men the OP spoke of? They sound fun. Could dress him up in tinsel. And he'd have to do it too cos I am woman and must be obeyed. Or I might cry.

[Deleted User] · 08-10-2008 9:45am

Me

Maple.

Maple · 08-10-2008 9:59am

Moonbaby wrote: »

Me Maple.

D'ya reckon Boots could be doing a 2for1 special? Go halves with you girl? Love a bargain.

Ginny · 08-10-2008 11:09am

How about a 3 for 2?

I had an ex who did this, would roll his eyes when I tried to talk to him, HE was tired from work all day and HE wanted his space constantly, it ended up with me tiptoeing around him when he came home from work in case he got moody, and eventually us spending the evening in different rooms and not speaking 1 word to each other some nights.
I was always the problem to him, never acknowledging maybe HE had a problem living with another human being, and obviously never acknowledging I may have had a tough day myself.
Seriously people talk to each other instead of boards.ie

He says / she says

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