Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Gremlinertia · 24-03-2013 6:12pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

never posted on this thread before but am long time looker...

Last night at my cousins wedding was just terrible...l just want to die right now. l'd be happy if l was told by a dr l'v cancer or a tumor (sorry if lv offended anyone but thats how l really feel) it would be a relief.

I'v had social anixety for about 5 years now & lv aways been quiet around my family, cousins & aunts etc. Last night my cousin accused me of not giving a damn about my cousins. Not true at all. He said l never make a effort with them (they live in England) & giving out that l havent seen them in 3 years and all l was saying was "yeah" "no" "what sorry?" all day. He was right that was mostly what l was saying because l was so anixous & nervous & just felt uncomfortable. l see these cousins like once every 5 years. l told he lm just like that & of course l cared & lm just socially very arkward. He made me feel terrible. I started crying & he said sorry but l was just so mad at myself, 21 years of age, cant hold a conversation with my cousins & they think l cant be bothered with them & dont give a damn. ugh. l left early & balled my eyes out in the car. ld hate for anyone to think l dont care when its just me holding back.

lm so embarressed being me. lm just so fed up having this bloody anixety. lm not comfortable around one person in my family. My cousins just called there to say goodbye & it was so arkward. I said only 2 words. Hugging to say goodbye ugh they were glad to say goodbye. l feel so bad they called to the house l didnt make them feel welcome or say anything to them. l fcuk up everything lm sick of it. l cant face them again lm so embarressed

l just had to let it out here have noone to talk to about it

Family gatherings are frightening, the more time the worse too. I nearly bailed out of my own sister's wedding last year.. Glad you came here to rant..

Now, have you been to a school/college counsellor or a doctor?. Doesn't have to be your family doctor either if you're worried about that, go to any doc. As you can see from this thread's title anxiety and depression are closely linked so giving the research and support sites mentioned in the stickied thread above would be good too.

You're among friends here too, so post whenever a few of us online most of the time..

Corkfeen · 24-03-2013 7:46pm

Just a bit of an update. Been on effexor for a couple of weeks now. Stress levels have definitely dropped, I'm still depressed but less so I believe and I've found that i'm not as anxious as I was. I've set a goal to go out with former friends for my birthday , so hopefully that'll pan out okay. I'll try to help out with some of ye too, as ye have helped me in the past.

Hersheys · 24-03-2013 7:49pm

Anxiety levels thru the roof. And too paranoid to say why/expand on how I'm feeling in case anyone recognises me

Gremlinertia · 24-03-2013 7:57pm

Hersheys wrote: »

Anxiety levels thru the roof. And too paranoid to say why/expand on how I'm feeling in case anyone recognises me

Oh i do that a bit. Change details on stories etc so it isn't exactly my story.

Feel free to pm if you need to vent though - bottling it up won't do any good and my ears are not busy today.

Gockers · 25-03-2013 12:13am

MrMischief wrote: »

Good post.

The only thing i have done differently is that I actually told my boss in work who is also a friend i can trust so i suppose that helps! It stops with him and nobody else will know unless i feel like telling them. I think you're right being open about it and thats why i dont have the problem telling work and i know i wont be treated or viewed any differently. Best of luck anyway!

Thanks very much

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 9:22am

I don't know how but somehow I made it thru the night

elvis jones · 25-03-2013 10:47am

Hi Guys,

1st time posting here but for the 3rd time in my life i'm having a bad bout. Sounds weird but it always seems to be when things are going best for me in my life.

I knew things were bad on saturday when i had a melt down over my wife not getting eggs that were fresh enough to poach properly. My depression comes with mood swings than can rip my personal relationships apart. I ended up in bed in a ball at 3pm on sat:( if only i could have stayed there but i had to work that night. I fought it yesterday to have a good day with my wife and kids but it was hard.

I'm training for a big charity event in Aug and its getting in my way of my training, my diet and any hope of weight loss.

My own doctor is away so i'm going to see their stand in today and fingers crossed it will be a stepping stone to escaping the cloud again.

LegacyUser · 25-03-2013 11:01am

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

never posted on this thread before but am long time looker...

Last night at my cousins wedding was just terrible...l just want to die right now. l'd be happy if l was told by a dr l'v cancer or a tumor (sorry if lv offended anyone but thats how l really feel) it would be a relief.

I'v had social anixety for about 5 years now & lv aways been quiet around my family, cousins & aunts etc. Last night my cousin accused me of not giving a damn about my cousins. Not true at all. He said l never make a effort with them (they live in England) & giving out that l havent seen them in 3 years and all l was saying was "yeah" "no" "what sorry?" all day. He was right that was mostly what l was saying because l was so anixous & nervous & just felt uncomfortable. l see these cousins like once every 5 years. l told he lm just like that & of course l cared & lm just socially very arkward. He made me feel terrible. I started crying & he said sorry but l was just so mad at myself, 21 years of age, cant hold a conversation with my cousins & they think l cant be bothered with them & dont give a damn. ugh. l left early & balled my eyes out in the car. ld hate for anyone to think l dont care when its just me holding back.

lm so embarressed being me. lm just so fed up having this bloody anixety. lm not comfortable around one person in my family. My cousins just called there to say goodbye & it was so arkward. I said only 2 words. Hugging to say goodbye ugh they were glad to say goodbye. l feel so bad they called to the house l didnt make them feel welcome or say anything to them. l fcuk up everything lm sick of it. l cant face them again lm so embarressed

l just had to let it out here have no-one to talk to about it

I am exactly the same as you, people, especially family and family of my partner can think Im ignorant and what not but i suppose its fear of being shot down by putting yourself out there. Holding a conversation shouldn't be "putting yourself out there" but for some people, ie: you and me, it is. It's hard, and it's like all things, only time and practice will make us better at them. My depression came to a head at my brother in laws wedding 4 weeks ago and now everyone has this ingrained image of me now....even though they know me, they seem to judge me because i broke down at it.

If you ever need to get anything off your chest theres alot of people here to listen and not judge. Iv'e only posted once or twice but im going throught the motions every day for the past 12 years on and off and im only feckin 24!

Your never alone, your never odd and you shouldnt bottle it up, get it off your chest and your day might go a little better, you have nothing to lose x

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 11:07am

elvis jones wrote: »

Hi Guys,

1st time posting here but for the 3rd time in my life i'm having a bad bout. Sounds weird but it always seems to be when things are going best for me in my life.

I knew things were bad on saturday when i had a melt down over my wife not getting eggs that were fresh enough to poach properly. My depression comes with mood swings than can rip my personal relationships apart. I ended up in bed in a ball at 3pm on sat:( if only i could have stayed there but i had to work that night. I fought it yesterday to have a good day with my wife and kids but it was hard.

I'm training for a big charity event in Aug and its getting in my way of my training, my diet and any hope of weight loss.

My own doctor is away so i'm going to see their stand in today and fingers crossed it will be a stepping stone to escaping the cloud again.

Good luck with the doctors appointment.

Kaching · 25-03-2013 12:22pm

The show must go on

Callumsmamma · 25-03-2013 12:42pm

I think im going to bite the bullet and allow my doctor refer me to a psychiatrist....very scared to talk about whats in my head. Has anyone found counselling etc helpful?

Gremlinertia · 25-03-2013 12:56pm

Callumsmamma wrote: »

I think im going to bite the bullet and allow my doctor refer me to a psychiatrist....very scared to talk about whats in my head. Has anyone found counselling etc helpful?

Hello again, i would say go for it, it's helped me, your gp will always be a trusted confidant, but their training doesn't usually specialise in psychiatry, it's a matter of (pardon bad pun) the right tool for the job. They also understand a wider range of medications and various talk therapy approaches, the first visit or two they pretty much ask most of the questions. Best of luck..

Oh and PM if you want to ask anymore. I am no expert but i can listen..

arbitrary constant · 25-03-2013 2:27pm

Managed to go about nine months without the need for antidepressants. Had to start taking them again a few weeks ago and after chatting with my GP today she's seriously considering giving me the maximum allowable prescribed dose unless I show improvements before my next appointment.

*sigh* How the hell did it come to this so quickly?

tecakes006 · 25-03-2013 4:26pm

Hi, this is my first post to a forum but ive been reading all for a while now. Ive developed anxiety in the last few years, i think it was triggered due to work circumstances, the problem is i cant seem to shake it. it comes in bouts and i can be fine for a few weeks then out of nowhere it hits again. Today i woke with that sinking feeling in my stomach and ive been trying to ward it off all day. I have not yet gone to my doctor as i really dont know what to say or explain it all. My own head is driving me crazy and i can fixate on the stupidest of things. I also find its way worse after ive had a drink but a drink relaxes me! I find it very hard to settle , in the evening i struggle to relax and just chill out. I really do not want to take medication so if anyone has any recommendations for alternative solutions id greatly appreciate it?

Lightbulb Sun · 25-03-2013 5:34pm

arbitrary constant wrote: »

Managed to go about nine months without the need for antidepressants. Had to start taking them again a few weeks ago and after chatting with my GP today she's seriously considering giving me the maximum allowable prescribed dose unless I show improvements before my next appointment.

*sigh* How the hell did it come to this so quickly?

Just look on it like taking them isn't a big deal and there are millions of people on them around the world.

Stick to that thought and go from there.

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 5:36pm

tecakes006 wrote: »

Hi, this is my first post to a forum but ive been reading all for a while now. Ive developed anxiety in the last few years, i think it was triggered due to work circumstances, the problem is i cant seem to shake it. it comes in bouts and i can be fine for a few weeks then out of nowhere it hits again. Today i woke with that sinking feeling in my stomach and ive been trying to ward it off all day. I have not yet gone to my doctor as i really dont know what to say or explain it all. My own head is driving me crazy and i can fixate on the stupidest of things. I also find its way worse after ive had a drink but a drink relaxes me! I find it very hard to settle , in the evening i struggle to relax and just chill out. I really do not want to take medication so if anyone has any recommendations for alternative solutions id greatly appreciate it?

Have a chat to your doctor, tell him/her you're not keen on meds is there anything they suggest. Talk therapy is wonderful if you can find the right therapist.

Good luck.

Call Me Jimmy · 25-03-2013 5:50pm

tecakes006 wrote: »

Hi, this is my first post to a forum but ive been reading all for a while now. Ive developed anxiety in the last few years, i think it was triggered due to work circumstances, the problem is i cant seem to shake it. it comes in bouts and i can be fine for a few weeks then out of nowhere it hits again. Today i woke with that sinking feeling in my stomach and ive been trying to ward it off all day. I have not yet gone to my doctor as i really dont know what to say or explain it all. My own head is driving me crazy and i can fixate on the stupidest of things. I also find its way worse after ive had a drink but a drink relaxes me! I find it very hard to settle , in the evening i struggle to relax and just chill out. I really do not want to take medication so if anyone has any recommendations for alternative solutions id greatly appreciate it?

It's good that you've come on here, ye can get things off yer chest. Work can be absolutely anxiety-provoking. If everyone had the luxury of not working in a stressful job there would be a lot less anxiety but it's not always the case.

I found with anxiety, a great first step is to acknowledge it. Not just say 'Oh I'm anxious' but to acknowledge say a churning in your stomach. Instead of fighting it focus on it and let it churn. Obviously try and do it when your on a bus or train or have a moment at home, just notice it and try to keep noticing it, it usually eases (physically at least).

Mentally, you have to be discipined and strong, any long term illness requires this. I found at a stressful job, like you, I could not slow down on my off-time. This is when you have to force a slow-down and I think anxiety needs this attention. You also need to talk to people about it, GP, if you are lucky and have a partner I think a talk with them and a hug would be great.

You will find your way, just have patience and be kind to yourself.

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 6:09pm

The other thing I find helps is to accept it. Don't try to fight it. Say "Oh there's a bit of a panic, it will all calm down and I'll be back to normal in no time"

The longer you fight accepting it the longer it lasts, in my experience anyway. Once I learned to acknowledge an anxious thought I was on the road to feeling better.

0ph0rce0 · 25-03-2013 6:29pm

Bah feel like ****e today, just went to see my kids as i have been staying away for a while cause i was in no state to see them, She has a new bloke and they were more interested in him and playing than even saying hello to me.

Damn that hurts, this whole depression ****e has really ****ed my life right up

Call Me Jimmy · 25-03-2013 6:31pm

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

Bah feel like ****e today, just went to see my kids as i have been staying away for a while cause i was in no state to see them, She has a new bloke and they were more interested in him and playing than even saying hello to me.

Damn that hurts, this whole depression ****e has really ****ed my life right up

Ah 0ph that is really harsh for you! despite how terrible that is try and keep the chin up. you're are doing the right things man.

mr lee · 25-03-2013 7:09pm

sometimes i wish i could forget i have depression,thinking about it and mulling over it makes it worse,i find it hard to express what im feeling and thinking into words,i think i have a personality disorder or a mood disorder,i haven't been right since i was 14 or 15,now im late 30's, socially i was always messed up,this is the first time i have ever admitted it,the only reason i can admit it now is because nobody knows me on boards.

cloud493 · 25-03-2013 7:31pm

How is everyone?

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 7:53pm

cloud493 wrote: »

How is everyone?

I'd an irrational afternoon where I felt so ****ty that I wrote a suicide note. Not gonna top myself tonight but it will be an interesting chat with the psych in the morning.

How are you doing?

cloud493 · 25-03-2013 8:06pm

Your definitely seeing someone in the morning?
Not so good.

stop animal cruelty · 25-03-2013 8:18pm

Callumsmamma88 wrote: »

I am exactly the same as you, people, especially family and family of my partner can think Im ignorant and what not but i suppose its fear of being shot down by putting yourself out there. Holding a conversation shouldn't be "putting yourself out there" but for some people, ie: you and me, it is. It's hard, and it's like all things, only time and practice will make us better at them. My depression came to a head at my brother in laws wedding 4 weeks ago and now everyone has this ingrained image of me now....even though they know me, they seem to judge me because i broke down at it.

If you ever need to get anything off your chest theres alot of people here to listen and not judge. Iv'e only posted once or twice but im going throught the motions every day for the past 12 years on and off and im only feckin 24!

Your never alone, your never odd and you shouldnt bottle it up, get it off your chest and your day might go a little better, you have nothing to lose x

thanks for that, it helps when l know l'm not the only with like this around family. You're right about the ingrained image...my family think l'm so shy & nervous but l'm not really like that, my friends always tell me l'm great crack to be around & all that but its so frustrating l can't be myself around them. l feel like l have to apologise every time l meet them , for the way l act.

l'v been to counselling for 2 yrs about this, it didnt cure it but it helped me in some way not to be so hard on myself & things weren't my fault. l'm thinking of going back again or to the Doc cause l'm so fed up with this aniexty. I would recommend counselling alrite, give it a try, hope you feel better after it

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 8:35pm

cloud493 wrote: »

Your definitely seeing someone in the morning?
Not so good.

Yeah defo seeing someone in the morning.

What's up?

Esel · 25-03-2013 9:04pm

mr lee wrote: »

sometimes i wish i could forget i have depression,thinking about it and mulling over it makes it worse,i find it hard to express what im feeling and thinking into words,i think i have a personality disorder or a mood disorder,i haven't been right since i was 14 or 15,now im late 30's, socially i was always messed up,this is the first time i have ever admitted it,the only reason i can admit it now is because nobody knows me on boards.

Might be a good time for you to have a chat with your GP. What do you think?

cloud493 · 25-03-2013 9:18pm

Hersheys wrote: »

Yeah defo seeing someone in the morning.

What's up?

Just really down, lots of things I'd like to do to make myself feel better but I know I can't. And people only ever seem to talk to me when they're bored, or when they need me. I am sick of being ignored.

Hersheys · 25-03-2013 9:44pm

cloud493 wrote: »

Just really down, lots of things I'd like to do to make myself feel better but I know I can't. And people only ever seem to talk to me when they're bored, or when they need me. I am sick of being ignored.

I could have written that

I've given up contacting my friends to see if they'll contact me. They never do. So makes me believe they wouldn't miss me. Didn't write that in the note though, I was reassuring everyone it wasn't their fault.

cloud493 · 25-03-2013 10:20pm

Hersheys wrote: »

I could have written that I've given up contacting my friends to see if they'll contact me. They never do. So makes me believe they wouldn't miss me. Didn't write that in the note though, I was reassuring everyone it wasn't their fault.

It's like, I'm there for other people. But when I talk to people, they ignore me. As in I can even see people have read my messages, but they ignore it. And what can you even do it about it, it's not like you can find new people, they won't want me either.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Comments