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man analysis please

  • 15-01-2010 12:41pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38


    thanks guys in advance.just like a male opinion here.
    8 months ago contacted first love via internet.(i did the heart breaking back in the day).since then,we are in contact daily, nearly always initated by him.texts, very long phone calls( hours) and of course the drunken calls at 4a.m.we have'nt met, as we live opposite ends of the country , work, weather etc has'nt helped either.
    now,heres the thing , i find myself falling in love with this guy all over again, but am sh1te scared to tell him in case he runs!!its nice having him back in my life, no its more than nice:) , so do'nt want to risk loosing him again.
    in you guys opinion ,do you think hes just going down the friends route , should i fess up?? or just have patience and see what occurs???


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Cupla questions.

    How long were you together?
    Who ended it?
    Why was it ended?
    how long were ye apart?

    Its hard to give a full response with limited details but here goes.

    Its very easy to fall back into a pattern with ex's,Ive done it as Im sure most people here have.Ye are focusing on all the positives but the fact is ye broke up for a reason so has that reason changed?

    I would say that if you are starting to fall in love again then you should tell him.He could be feeling the same or he could just have platonic feelings for you.Either way,for your own sake you need to find out.If he doesnt feel the same then I would say sever all contact immediately as you will end up in a world of crap otherwise.

    Its an awkward spot to be in but you owe it to yourself to lay it on the line,who knows,maybe its ment to be.
    :)

    Good luck with it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,057 ✭✭✭Tragedy


    harps90 wrote: »
    thanks guys in advance.just like a male opinion here.
    8 months ago contacted first love via internet.(i did the heart breaking back in the day).since then,we are in contact daily, nearly always initated by him.texts, very long phone calls( hours) and of course the drunken calls at 4a.m.we have'nt met, as we live opposite ends of the country , work, weather etc has'nt helped either.
    now,heres the thing , i find myself falling in love with this guy all over again, but am sh1te scared to tell him in case he runs!!its nice having him back in my life, no its more than nice:) , so do'nt want to risk loosing him again.
    in you guys opinion ,do you think hes just going down the friends route , should i fess up?? or just have patience and see what occurs???
    You don't like or value him as a friend.

    No point saying "I don't want to risk losing him again" as he isn't your friend in your head. He's the guy you fell in love with before.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 38 harps90


    thanks for replying.
    firstly , i 'd like to say that i certainly do value his friendship,which is why i would hate to loose contact with him again.we get on very well,have similar interests,sense of humour bla bla.we had been quite good friends before we ever got involved with each other.
    it was a long time ago, both of us were a lot younger!!i finished the relationship as i moved to another country and could'nt quite believe this guy would follow through on all his promises. i was 4 years younger than him and could'nt believe my luck that he would be remotely interested in me!!! low self esteem i guess.he took it very badly and was very hurt


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,057 ✭✭✭Tragedy


    harps90 wrote: »
    thanks for replying.
    firstly , i 'd like to say that i certainly do value his friendship,which is why i would hate to loose contact with him again.we get on very well,have similar interests,sense of humour bla bla.we had been quite good friends before we ever got involved with each other.
    it was a long time ago, both of us were a lot younger!!i finished the relationship as i moved to another country and could'nt quite believe this guy would follow through on all his promises. i was 4 years younger than him and could'nt believe my luck that he would be remotely interested in me!!! low self esteem i guess.he took it very badly and was very hurt
    You don't seem to view it as potential friendship, you seem to view it all in context of "the man I used to love and still burn a flame for".

    That's the problem!


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Tragedy wrote: »
    You don't seem to view it as potential friendship, you seem to view it all in context of "the man I used to love and still burn a flame for".

    That's the problem!

    Yeah, she's not looking for friendship, she is looking for more, so it's OK TBH, otherwise she is just selling herself short on what she really wants and torturing herself.

    OP, if he is in that much contact with you, there are 2 scenario's as to why, that I can think of.

    Either he is lonely, and just wants someone to talk to, and someone to want him.

    Or He is into you. Noone talks that much to someone they only consider a friend TBH.

    Maybe you should ask him? I dunno, I am quite ****e at this stuff myself, because I always get stoopid, but you might as well say it to him.

    Don't say you are falling in love all over again, but tell him in some way that you are liking him again.


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