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I swear I'm not trolling...

  • 28-03-2012 2:20pm
    #1
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭


    I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I really do need to know.

    I've written a book with a strong romance element and some sex which has been accepted by a big American publisher. I've signed away my first born in the contract, the publication date is set for June, and I'm editing.

    My editor is unhappy with one scene, where the hero and heroine have a steamy phone call. She thinks that my hero's er - response time? - is too fast, and not something a normal man could manage.

    My hero is 34 years old, fit, 7% bodyfat, former military, and does heavy deadlifts and ATG squats to failure. Single, no health problems.

    What do you guys think is the FASTEST that my hero could go from "Not interested" to "Done"?

    I need to get the edits back by the weekend, so I'd really appreciate if you can give a quick answer.


«13

Comments

  • #2
    racso1975
    Registered Users Posts: 5,273 ✭✭✭racso1975


    Cool question and best of luck with the book!!!

    As somebody who has a "friend" that once has a premature ejaculation incident it can happen very very quickly

    In all honesty if a man is not trying to delay the onset of cumming i'd say he could be wrapped up in under a minute

    Edit: why did i respond first cause i know i'll be lambasted


  • #3
    FoxT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,204 ✭✭✭FoxT


    I'd agree with racso. However, the 'second coming', if req'd would definitely take a bit of time after that, at least 15 mins I'm guessing.


    OP - Any chance you'd post this in AH? Things a bit quiet there, lately ;)


  • #4
    g'em
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    FoxT wrote: »
    OP - Any chance you'd post this in AH? Things a bit quiet there, lately ;)

    I'll personally look after it!!* I'm also genuinely curious about the responses (no pun intended :o)

    EDIT: * I mean the thread, the THREAD, not.. you know... ah dammit....


  • #5
    Hanley
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21,981 ✭✭✭✭Hanley


    A lot will depend on tekkers really. The more... eh… practice the gent has had, the better his technique will be. Better technique means better movement efficiency and maximal muscle fibre recruitment leading to a more powerful and eh… faster finish.

    Assuming perfect… playing… conditions, and a solid… eh... training partner… I think 60-90 seconds is doable.

    EDIT: But eh speaking from experience... I dunno sustained performance for eh anything from 1-2 hours is normal if you don't have to ehh... train solo...


  • #6
    Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 23,556 ✭✭✭✭Sir Digby Chicken Caesar


    maybe you should enable anonymous posting on nutrition&diet for a few hours :)


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  • #7
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,920 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Depends if he had stim díck from taking a pre-workout

    Also I assume phone sex would take awhile due to no visual aspect


  • #8
    COH
    Registered Users Posts: 7,028 ✭✭✭COH


    Is he strong off the ground or strong at lockout on his deadlifts? If its the latter you can deduce that, owing to an impressively strong thrust pattern, and provided that his set up and aim are correct.. he could probably fire that bad boy out in 5 solid reps depending on his general physical preparedness and eagerness to compete


  • #9
    Tefral
    Registered Users Posts: 4,309 ✭✭✭Tefral


    EileenG wrote: »
    I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I really do need to know.

    I've written a book with a strong romance element and some sex which has been accepted by a big American publisher. I've signed away my first born in the contract, the publication date is set for June, and I'm editing.

    My editor is unhappy with one scene, where the hero and heroine have a steamy phone call. She thinks that my hero's er - response time? - is too fast, and not something a normal man could manage.

    My hero is 34 years old, fit, 7% bodyfat, former military, and does heavy deadlifts and ATG squats to failure. Single, no health problems.

    What do you guys think is the FASTEST that my hero could go from "Not interested" to "Done"?

    I need to get the edits back by the weekend, so I'd really appreciate if you can give a quick answer.

    This is scary:

    "Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s demonstrated that three quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters"

    Reference: Kinsey, Alfred (1948), Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, W. B. Saunders Co


  • #10
    Zamboni
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Zamboni


    Reverse psychology would play into it - if you tried to do it under 60 - 90 seconds you'd have no chance.


    As an aside, the sheer scope for inyourendo on this thread is potentially limitless.


  • #11
    Zamboni
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Zamboni


    cronin_j wrote: »
    This is scary:

    "Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s demonstrated that three quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters"

    Reference: Kinsey, Alfred (1948), Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, W. B. Saunders Co

    That was 1948.
    A long time before men were supposed to care about how the woman got on.


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  • #12
    Tefral
    Registered Users Posts: 4,309 ✭✭✭Tefral


    Zamboni wrote: »
    That was 1948.
    A long time before men were supposed to care about how the woman got on.

    Wouldnt matter if they had to or not though would it. The question was to see the fastest response time..

    Plus if your at the other end of a phone, youve only got to worry about yourself :D


  • #13
    leggit
    Registered Users Posts: 936 ✭✭✭leggit


    21 seconds



  • #14
    COH
    Registered Users Posts: 7,028 ✭✭✭COH


    Give L a call, say 'Hi this is Lydia' and you'll probably have a definitive answer


  • #15
    Jimmy Bottlehead
    Registered Users Posts: 10,118 ✭✭✭✭Jimmy Bottlehead


    **** it, I'll chip in too.

    From "Nope, nothing happening" to "Right I'm off to sleep" would at absolute FASTEST be 90-120 seconds. That would be an irregular effort and would take a man with a hardened gaze, a steely grip and some serious determination though :P


  • #16
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    He's on the other end of the phone, so he's not holding back on her account. Plus, he rang her, so he knew what way the call was going to go. He wasn't thnking about his tax returns at the start of the call.


  • #17
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    FoxT wrote: »


    OP - Any chance you'd post this in AH? Things a bit quiet there, lately ;)

    I'm looking for answers from people who are fit and lift hard. That makes a difference to T levels and stuff like that.


  • #18
    Hanley
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21,981 ✭✭✭✭Hanley


    EileenG wrote: »
    I'm looking for answers from people who are fit and lift hard. That makes a difference to T levels and stuff like that.

    T = telephone?


  • #19
    Hanley
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21,981 ✭✭✭✭Hanley


    Hold on, are we allow use chalk in this scenario for a better grip!?


  • #20
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    Hanley wrote: »
    T = telephone?

    T = Testosterone. Heavy squats = high testosterone levels = fast response time. Just not right after the gym, of course.


  • #21
    cc87
    Registered Users Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭cc87


    Surely how long since his last session would have to be taken into account?? Did he allow adequate time for to replenish his stores or was it too long and they were...ehh.....overflowing??


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  • #22
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    Hanley wrote: »
    Hold on, are we allow use chalk in this scenario for a better grip!?

    If you really need it. Personally, I'd have thought that applying chalk would slow things down (or even end them completely).


  • #23
    Zamboni
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Zamboni


    EileenG wrote: »
    I'm looking for answers from people who are fit and lift hard. That makes a difference to T levels and stuff like that.

    What response time did you initially put down?


  • #24
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    I didn't give a specific time (I don't measure body parts either) but the editor thought he was too quick. Not according to the answers I'm getting here.


  • #25
    Hanley
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21,981 ✭✭✭✭Hanley


    EileenG wrote: »
    I didn't give a specific time (I don't measure body parts either) but the editor thought he was too quick. Not according to the answers I'm getting here.

    Sounds like your editor is playing the old "I'm so virile, I can go for hours" trick on you.


  • #26
    Dathai
    Registered Users Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭Dathai


    Probably got through it easy enough since he had a spotter egging him on.


  • #27
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    EileenG wrote: »
    I didn't give a specific time (I don't measure body parts either) but the editor thought he was too quick. Not according to the answers I'm getting here.
    Now I SOOOOO want to know if your editor is male or female.


  • #28
    Orla K
    Registered Users Posts: 2,462 ✭✭✭Orla K


    EileenG wrote: »
    My editor is unhappy with one scene, where the hero and heroine have a steamy phone call. She thinks that my hero's er - response time? - is too fast, and not something a normal man could manage.

    Editors a woman


  • #29
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,920 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Surely it matters if he took SuperPump Max and SizeOn with its OUTLAST complex


  • #30
    Da Za
    Registered Users Posts: 769 ✭✭✭Da Za


    Also depends on current activity levels and men are always ready/willing/eager.

    Also depends on other supplementation


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  • #31
    Paudee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 488 ✭✭Paudee


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    Surely it matters if he took SuperPump Max and SizeOn with its OUTLAST complex

    You're not taking enough stimulants unless you have to fold it in.


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