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Ridiculous lie to a guy I like? Help?

  • 25-05-2015 1:47pm
    #1
    feamainn
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭


    I made a stupid mistake! I'm 18 and I am repeating 5th year as I missed the majority of the year due to an eating disorder. I am for some reason very embarrassed about being in 5th year. All my friends are in 6th year and whenever I tell somebody that I'm in 5th year they ask why and that is not something I am ready to discuss.

    I met this guy who is older than me. We were texting and he asked if I was in college and I told him no I still have to do my leaving( technically not a lie). I didn't think I liked him at this stage so I didn't really care about telling an untruth anyway. He asked me out and I didn't want to go (because I couldn't really remember him and I was also nervous as he's only the second guy I've met since starting recovery.) but my friend convinced me. Turns out I had a great time, we spent 7 hours together, I actually like him! But on the way home he started asking about the leaving and everything. I panicked and just went along with the lie instead of confessing!

    Now I realise this was so stupid. I could've just told him that I am actually repeating because I was ill and didn't want to talk about it. I feel so stupid and like I can never see him again.
    My only options are to either not tell him and just not see him anymore or to tell him and hope that he understands even though I feel like telling him will actually just result in me not seeing him again AND being totally humiliated!

    Does anybody have advice on what I should do? Am I overreacting? I'm just furious at myself and at a total loss as to what I should do?:(


Comments

  • #2
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    I honestly don't think it's gonna be half as big a deal to him as it is to you. You have all the baggage of people asking you all the time, your friends gone, being acutely aware of it. He doesn't. Tell him you were embarrassed you're repeating because you were ill, that will be that


  • #3
    IvyTheTerrible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    MOD: Hi OP, I've move your thread to Relationship Issues as I think it's more suited to there. Please take a note of the new charter.


  • #4
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    No need to be embarrassed op. Just tell him the truth, and if he's worth his salt he will understand.


  • #5
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    You haven't actually lied to him, based on your OP.


  • #6
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    You haven't actually lied to him, based on your OP.

    Well I assume he was asking her about her upcoming leaving cert and she was indulging him, so he may think she has exams coming up.


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  • #7
    feamainn
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭feamainn


    anna080 wrote: »
    Well I assume he was asking her about her upcoming leaving cert and she was indulging him, so he may think she has exams coming up.

    Yeah I was indulging him. He was just asking what I want to study and everything but then he asked how I did the mocks and I was like "pretty good". I hope that he will just laugh at me and still like me...


  • #8
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    feamainn wrote: »
    Yeah I was indulging him. He was just asking what I want to study and everything but then he asked how I did the mocks and I was like "pretty good". I hope that he will just laugh at me and still like me...

    I don't see any reason why he wouldn't still like you, provided your honest to him as soon as you can be. No need to keep it going any longer.


  • #9
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    I'd be truthful with him OP. Say you're sorry you weren't totally honest with him but that you were just so embarrassed about having to repeat due to your sickness. If he asks about why you were sick... I wouldn't go into too much detail of I'm honest. It's an early relationship and he doesn't need to know all the details until you are completely comfortable telling him.


  • #10
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Truth is that if everything goes well with this guy and you're still with him, he'll know either way that you lied. You're better off just coming clear now and getting it over and done with. Trust me. And congratulations for the battle you're going through. I've had people close to me who have gone through similar situations and I know how hard it can be. Stay brave. Stay strong.


  • #11
    feamainn
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭feamainn


    Okay, I texted him telling him about being ill and having to repeat and I explained to him that it's not something I wanted to talk about, that I was nervous and thought irrationally. Only problem now is gathering the courage to look at his reply (if he replies)
    Thanks to everybody who replied!


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  • #12
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    feamainn wrote: »
    Okay, I texted him telling him about being ill and having to repeat and I explained to him that it's not something I wanted to talk about, that I was nervous and thought irrationally. Only problem now is gathering the courage to look at his reply (if he replies)
    Thanks to everybody who replied!

    Aghhh you totally should've done this face to face not by text!!!!

    Either way best of luck!


  • #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Aghhh you totally should've done this face to face not by text!!!!

    Either way best of luck!

    She doesn't need to be told that. Text is easier. And better in many regards, especially with tough issues.

    Anyway delighted you did it, OP. Do you feel better now? I'm sure he'll reply eventually. Deep breaths.


  • #14
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    She doesn't need to be told that. Text is easier. And better in many regards, especially with tough issues.

    Anyway delighted you did it, OP. Do you feel better now? I'm sure he'll reply eventually. Deep breaths.

    Yea fair enough. Hope you feel better OP and it all works out.


  • #15
    kjl
    Registered Users Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    First world problems eh

    Honestly I wouldn't care if I was the guy in question, at least it means you will have time to hang out this summer.

    Just tell him the next time you see him in a cute way.

    I would say something like

    "BTW, I might have told you a little fib, I'm actually in 5th year, I was meant to be in 6th year this year but I was very sick last year so I chose to repeat. I don't know why I lied, but I think it's because I was a little nervous. But I do like you so I want to clear the air"

    I 100% guarantee you he won't care, and it he does, he's not worth it.


  • #16
    identer
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭identer


    Call him up very early in the morning, tell him you have a confession. Make it sound like you couldnt sleep cos of it( am sure you get the picture) Posting in forum here means you really worried so why not add little seasoning. Most like it wont mean s**t to him. But just so it out of the way.


  • #17
    castaway_lady
    Registered Users Posts: 268 ✭✭castaway_lady


    Nope texting him was exactly the right move. Im sure he being a relatively young guy wasn't into a big heart to heart with someone he'd had a couple of dates with anymore than you were. If he gets in touch again then let him lead anymore questions he has on it and if he doesn't bring it up, then just let it go and move on with having fun. If he doesn't get in touch again then don't overthink it, take it as a life lesson and don't bug yourself about it.


  • #18
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    Umm, I don't think texting something like that is a good idea. I know it's hard to say these things face to face but I think texts are a terrible medium for this sort of thing. All this lad will have had to go on are the words that came in to his phone. He makes his decision based on that. If you had said it in person he'd have been able to hear your voice and see your facial expressions and judge for himself how sorry you were. You'd also have been able to have a conversation about it on the spot and hopefully convinced him that it was nothing but a silly half lie.


  • #19
    feamainn
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭feamainn


    I texted him and he didn't even care. We hung out yesterday so it's all good...
    I feel dumb for being so worried :L


  • #20
    Tilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,987 ✭✭✭Tilly


    That's great news. Best of luck x


This discussion has been closed.
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