Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

cheating boyfriend or not

  • 23-05-2015 2:52pm
    #1
    tippgirl123
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭


    Hi Guys,
    So me and my OH have been together 4 years both 24 now. he always goes out and does be on a love buzz when he drinks, compared to when he is sober he would be shy towards people he doesnt know. But when out he would be all arms around everyone and hugs ect to both boys and girls. this doesnt bother me when i am out with him cause i know its harmless and it is only him being him.

    So i got a message from a girl from our town, said she was thinking about it all week but decided to tell me, cus it was right thing to do. She seen my boyfriend shifting another girl on a nite out which i was not out, nor were any of my friends. she was 100% sure it was "Rosie". Rosie has a bf and they are both friends of ours.

    So i got in contact with Rosie. She said the only time she was talking to my OH that night was when her BF "Ryan" was in the toliet and they were waiting for him and my OH had his arms around her telling her to mind ryan he is a great guy and all that. This location is the same location as they were seen shifting. she Said 100% it didnt happen. Her and ryan are not even fighting over this at all. they know its not true.

    My OH is denying it down to the ground aswell.

    But..... The girl who saw this has mutual friends with my BF. And they supposedly said that this wasnt the first time and it was all out in the open now so my BF should own up. Since it came out they are denying saying any of this and saying the girl made it all up.

    she also said she confronted him and then he got flirty with her.

    its breaking my heart to think it is true. but i have no real prof only what this girl is saying about it all. like my OH is confident she has it out for him and just stirring. She does have a rep for creating drama. And then to think im going to end my relationship over something that might be lies.

    i just need an outside perspective on this, as anyone who knows my OH cant believe it. and i dont want to either :(


Comments

  • #2
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Sounds like everyone, your bf, Ryan, rosie, and everyone else you've asked is saying this isn't a thing. So seems like it's the word of this girl who you say likes creating drama, vs everybody else. Don't see why you'd take her word over everyone else's you know.


  • #3
    silverfeather
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,154 ✭✭✭silverfeather


    I would say there is something in it to be honest. But you can't be certain. I think you need to examine your relationship and trust etc.


  • #4
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Why would she say it?


  • #5
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    In a club, if he had his arm around Rosie and was chatting, I'd imagine he'd have to be very close to her for her to hear him.

    So maybe it LOOKED like they were shifting?

    That's the worst I could see it being - girl x seeing something that wasn't there.

    The fact that everyone else, even Rosie's boyfriend, believes nothing happened, would lead me to believe that girl x is wrong or deliberately lying.


  • #6
    Interested Observer
    Registered Users Posts: 12,999 ✭✭✭✭Interested Observer


    Jenny Thalia wrote: »
    The fact that everyone else, even Rosie's boyfriend, believes nothing happened, would lead me to believe that girl x is wrong or deliberately lying.

    This is my reading of things too.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    tippgirl123
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭tippgirl123


    Jenny Thalia wrote: »
    In a club, if he had his arm around Rosie and was chatting, I'd imagine he'd have to be very close to her for her to hear him.

    So maybe it LOOKED like they were shifting?

    That's the worst I could see it being - girl x seeing something that wasn't there.

    The fact that everyone else, even Rosie's boyfriend, believes nothing happened, would lead me to believe that girl x is wrong or deliberately lying.

    That's what I thought and that it looked from a certain angle that they were. But the girl is so full sure it was.

    I met up with him tonight and he is still saying noting happend and never did. He said he nearly wishes something did happen so he could admit to it cause I won't believe him now anyways

    Its just all so confusing


  • #8
    tippgirl123
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭tippgirl123


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Why would she say it?

    And I also think this to. Why wud she make it up? But the girl who said all this doesn't slightly have it in for my oh. Because this girl doesn't like her bf out drinking with my oh. Which happens alot recently.


  • #9
    Jan Laco
    Closed Accounts Posts: 284 ✭✭Jan Laco


    I wouldn't believe her OP. She sounds like a **** stirrer.


  • #10
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    tippgirl123 wrote: »
    And I also think this to. Why wud she make it up? But the girl who said all this doesn't slightly have it in for my oh. Because this girl doesn't like her bf out drinking with my oh. Which happens alot recently.

    Ah ok that might explain it but she is certainly bringing down a pile of crap on herself just to keep a tighter leash on her bf.


  • #11
    quickq987
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭quickq987


    I don't believe anyone would want to hurt another human in this way unless she really saw it. personally I have been in this girls position and said nothing to my friend (i couldn't hurt her). I hate to say it but I believe her. When you first asked him was he defensive? Lying isn't easy. Trust is easily broken BUT even if it is true you do have options. You just can't know how you really feel until you know exactly what happened.


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,071 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Op there are endless threads on here about 'should I tell' - basically people knowing that their friends b/f or g/f is cheating and should they tell them. The general consensus seems to be no as the messenger always ends up coming off worse in the end. This girl has told you - now she may be lying as above however there is always a chance that she isn't and is trying to help you.


  • #13
    identer
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭identer


    Well suspicion as occured, so you have the ultimate seal and right to snop around. Go for the phone and emails.


  • #14
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    identer wrote: »
    Well suspicion as occured, so you have the ultimate seal and right to snop around. Go for the phone and emails.

    Don't do this. Your relationship is effectively over if you do this.


  • #15
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    identer wrote: »
    Well suspicion as occured, so you have the ultimate seal and right to snop around. Go for the phone and emails.

    If he is innocent as he says, he's probably already feeling more than a little aggrieved that she's choosing to believe this relative stranger with a reputation for creating drama over him (and her friends). Any hint that she's engaging in that kind of behaviour on top of things and there's a pretty good chance he'll be on his bike (and who could blame him tbh?). There's only so much people will make allowances for.


Advertisement