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Struggling

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  • 22-05-2015 6:37pm
    #1
    Homebird50
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭


    So, I finished a relationship/friendship with someone ive known for the past 20 years. He didn't want it to stop but I knew I had to.

    Ive been trying to remove myself from the situation since last October, and 3 weeks ago he told me he finally got the message. I haven't heard from him since.I tried to stop it lots of times before but I would always go back and end up upset and confused.

    While im glad it has stopped I miss him. I miss the chats and contact.

    Im struggling to not contact him again as I know ill end up back to square one down the line. Just feeling blue today.

    Anyone any advice on how I can get through this phase, I know its not going to happen overnight, but im having a really tough time at the minute.

    thanks


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You've got this far
    Congratulations
    Remember this is a success not a failure
    The only advice I can give you is to make new friends,not romantically just socially
    Consider it a project
    Dive into work too or set yourself goals to achieve in certain things to keep yourself busy
    It ain't easy what you are going through and you are in good company to be honest
    Believe it when I say,you are probably doing better than some in the same boat
    Bookmark this thread and don't be shy about popping in with how you're getting on,you'll be helping others by doing that which is good
    Good luck :)


  • Options
    #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    20 years is quite a habit to break, isn't it? All I can suggest is that you keep busy and organize things for the evenings so that you're not sitting at home with time on your hands. Don't drink too much and try not to drink at home alone. If you've got a smartphone it's possible to block phone numbers and I'm sure if there isn't a setting in that, there's an app to stop you dialing certain numbers.


  • Options
    #4
    Homebird50
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Homebird50


    Thanks very much for your replies, great to get someone elses opinion.

    Ive blocked him everywhere I can online and email and i know theres no chance of him showing up in social circles.

    I need to find a new way to live and im taking it one day at a time.

    Thanks again x


  • Options
    #5
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Op you only need to get through one day at a time. He is a habit but a habit that was ultimately bad for you. Stay busy - go to the cinema, rent movies, bake cakes etc etc It will get better and you've made the best decision for you.


  • Options
    #6
    Homebird50
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Homebird50


    So another few days gone. That's the way I'm getting through

    I go from a state of relief and feeling happy, to whinging within a space of a few minutes. So weird

    Anyway, Onwards !!


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  • Options
    #7
    identer
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭identer


    Normally if you are a guy and into flings and one night stands. The best solution is to have lot of casual sex and make lot of friends.
    Another option if you are not the people kinda person is a longdistance online dating. Sexting is with a pro could be awesome!!


  • Options
    #8
    Homebird50
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Homebird50


    I was doing ok. Now I feel I've a huge sadness/unhappiness hanging over me. Was hoping to start feeling a bit more normal by now


  • Options
    #9
    DaDoRonRonRon
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭DaDoRonRonRon


    It's perfectly normal to have a few setbacks. You'll have days where you feel like you've gone back to square one but these will pass just as quickly as they came. You are making steady progress through this and I promise you it will end.


  • Options
    #10
    Homebird50
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Homebird50


    Just an update and then I'll be gone

    I seem to have turned a corner since the weekend and feel so much better

    I believe he has been trying to contact me, and I realised I was too busy living my life to care

    Thanks everyone for the words of support. It really helped x


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