Approaching a Girl in the Street

Jimmy Iovine · 10-03-2012 4:35am

I saw a girl in Busáras nearly 3 years ago, just after I had finished my first year of college sometime at the end of May. I was sitting across from her in those ****ty seats waiting for my bus home. She was very good looking, blonde I think. I got caught having a sneaky glance at her and I caught her as well a few times. That went on for about half an hour or so.

Then I did one of the stupidest things I've ever done. I went up to the ticket machine to get my ticket. I was queuing up and I looked around and I saw her looking around at me. Of course when I got back to my seat she was gone. I didn't realise it at the time but my eyesight was hopeless so I couldn't find for certain where she was. My best guess is she was on the bus for Letterkenny.

Can't believe I didn't go up to her and ask her for her number. Nothing would have come of it probably because we'd be living too far apart, but it'd have been an experience.

For ages I had a mental block where I couldn't ask a girl for her number after a night out, never mind approaching a girl when I was sober. Thankfully I've gotten better over the last while. I nearly messed up one time with a girl. Luckily I was best friends with her cousin so I had to ask him for it. Turned out she wanted him to give me her number anyway but for some reason I was afraid to ask her. It was either a fear of failure or the fact I was fairly pissed and just forgot.

Dunno if I'd approach a girl completely out of the blue on the street, but if I'd seen her a few times and she had given some indication that she recognised my existence then I might make a move. I'd probably be more likely to spend all week planning the "meeting" and then do nothing about it when the time came :pac:.

G-Money · 10-03-2012 2:33pm

One day I was getting the bus back to the north and I could hear these two talking a few rows behind me. I wasn't listening in intently but I could tell when they got onto the bus they were two strangers and my guess is that the guy sat near her and started talking. The talked until they got to his stop, which I reckon would have been about 40 or 45 minutes into the journey anyway. He got off the bus and then a few seconds later I saw him coming walking back towards the bus, went back on and I think he gave her his number. I got the impression she wasn't super interested but fair play to him for trying. I wouldn't have done it myself.

Where I work is tricky to meet women as it's a male dominated environment. There's one girl I have my eye on in another team, who sits in another part of the building. It's annoying as we've no work related reason to speak to each other and we don't sit near each other or anything. There's no chance of getting to chat to her at a work party as I'm a contractor and she's permanent and contractors don't get invited to the work party's where I work.

BopNiblets · 10-03-2012 4:27pm

What about approaching as girl who gets the same bus into work? I would hope she would recognise me at this point. We work close enough and I could ask her to lunch...

I think yer lovely Red!

mcmacness · 11-03-2012 12:09am

Didnt happen in the street but when I was about 19 I was getting the bus home from Sligo after spending the weekend visiting my Grandparents. Was reading a chick lit book with the title "Remind me again why I need a man", or something like that.

This American guy decided to strike up a conversation with me about why I was reading a book like that, he was nice enough but I'd say he was late twenties/ early thirties and I wasn't interested. I was too nice to say it though. He ended up following me off the bus and carrying my luggage for me, luckily I had texted my friend and she had come to collect me from the station with her Dad, otherwise I don't know how I would have got rid of him!

I would be flattered these days if a guy approached me in the street but I don't know would it get him anywhere because I'd say I'd be a little taken aback by his forwardness..

Joe10000 · 11-03-2012 9:47am

I said this before on another thread that I think the most important thing for guys to do when still in the game is to acknowledge any female you pass on the street, bus, shop etc. that you like. Just say hi and keep going, next time she sees you she will "know" you and you go from there.

Women in this country are programmed against straightforward and random offers, you need to sneak up on them.

TanG411 · 11-03-2012 3:15pm

Joe10000 wrote: »

Women in this country are programmed against straightforward and random offers, you need to sneak up on them.

. . . And that's why she pepper-sprayed me, your honour.

starlit · 11-03-2012 7:49pm

I've never really been approached on the street to be asked out or anything but have had lads comes up to me with chat up lines alright in the daylight that is! Nights out excluded in this case. Was asked out by a random stranger on the phone one time but he was working for a phone company or something. That's going back a few years now. I said no though.

coco_lola · 11-03-2012 7:59pm

A guy approaching me in the street, that might be a bit forward for my liking. But on public transport, in a coffee shop, or any kind of shop, wouldn't bother me too much. As long as they don't come right up and be like "hey what's your number". I'm game for a chat/banter, and then if they want to ask for my number, that's cool!

smallBiscuit · 11-03-2012 8:40pm

Pembily wrote: »

Galvasean wrote: »

Go do it!

Realistically not! Also I will be in my cycling gear :rolleyes:

Hmm, hot girl all in skin tight lycra asks you out, yeah I'd say no as well

do it, what have you got to lose?

Bad Panda · 11-03-2012 10:53pm

There should be more 'girls approaching guys in the street' threads.

shrewd · 11-03-2012 11:32pm

Bad Panda wrote: »

There should be more 'girls approaching guys in the street' threads.

this often happens to me on night outs and paddys day, back then in my teenage years. i always wear or do something interesting that catches their attention.

hollypink · 12-03-2012 10:23am

I can't really think of any time someone has approached me on the street (apart from chuggers :mad:) but although I don't like to admit it, I don't think I'd react very positively. I'd probably decline as politely as I could. It's a pity really but unlike say the States, it's outside the conventional norm here. Generally people who speak to me in the street are either looking for money, directions or to invite me to a prayer meeting/psychological test.

I have chatted with strangers on trains/buses/planes, never asked out by any of them though.

As for 'girls approaching guys on the street', I really wouldn't have the courage/bravado for that. I'd admire any girl who did though!

Giselle · 13-03-2012 4:01pm

Theres quite a few wistful remembrances of 'girls/guys that you wished you'd taken the chance' on in this thread.

Theres a moral there.

Logical Fallacy · 13-03-2012 5:26pm

For a couple of years I used to do this quite a bit, see a girl i thought was hot and just approach her regardless of the location. On the Luas, strolling down the road, in the bank. Never really got a bad response and ended up getting more than a few dates with said ladies.

It's well worth doing but I'd suggest a degree of confidence before hand...getting shot down in a public forum can be tough...unless you're me...because to be honest I have no shame.

Or dignity.

Red Hand · 13-03-2012 5:31pm

Giselle wrote: »

Theres quite a few wistful remembrances of 'girls/guys that you wished you'd taken the chance' on in this thread.

Theres a moral there.

Don't ever do it and die alone. That's what I learned from it:pac:

Galway K9 · 13-03-2012 5:35pm

When i was younger, i asked a random girl to shift (kiss) me and she did. Granted we were only 14.

Giselle · 13-03-2012 6:13pm

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

For a couple of years I used to do this quite a bit, see a girl i thought was hot and just approach her regardless of the location. On the Luas, strolling down the road, in the bank. Never really got a bad response and ended up getting more than a few dates with said ladies.

It's well worth doing but I'd suggest a degree of confidence before hand...getting shot down in a public forum can be tough...unless you're me...because to be honest I have no shame.

Or dignity.

Or modesty

Nesie · 13-03-2012 11:17pm

Pembily wrote: »

Realistically not! Also I will be in my cycling gear :rolleyes:

I was out cycling on saturday and stopped to get food on two different occasions. got chatted up both times. hilarious. chatted away but politely left

Atomicjuicer · 13-03-2012 11:19pm

Reminds me of a time I was in a spar in Dublin city centre getting a roll. I noticed the sandwich maker had a strange but interesting looking necklace. I wasn't hitting on her at all when I said something along the lines of "that's a nice necklace". I was just giving someone a little compliment.

"My ***BOYFRIEND*** gave it to me."

Okey doke then!

Galvasean · 13-03-2012 11:22pm

I was thinking about this thread and I don't think I'll ever approach someone in the street like that since I myself despise when random people approach me in the street (junkies, hobos, chuggers, assorted scumbags looking for a fight, people protesting things, religious wackos, leaflets for things I'm not interested in, surveys, selling stuff...). I think I'm preprogrammed to escape post haste when someone approaches me in the street and imagine others by n' large would not appreciate it (do unto others and whatnot). I think the potential to annoy somebody outweighs the chances of something good coming from it an I'd hate to be in the same bracket of that list of characters I mentioned.

Logical Fallacy · 15-03-2012 2:21am

Giselle wrote: »

Or modesty

Modesty is a heavy shackle.

I know what i'm good at, i know what i'm bad at.

Confidence in combination with realism is the key.:D

pappyodaniel · 15-03-2012 2:39am

It would be nice if I had the confidence to approach a girl on the street and ask her out, but more than likely my legs would turn to jelly and I'd blurt out something along the lines of
"Excuses me nice girl but would you liking to drink me in the pub, hujsid ldfjhgb no dfvjhb qt3hfd....
sorry to bother you"

CarlsBurg · 15-03-2012 2:50am

The whole approaching a girl cold is quite an odd thing.

Many women feel that if a man approaches them in a gym, shop, library or what ever. The man is automatically 'weird' or the aspect of getting to know him would be 'weird' ... But yet if the scenario was changed to a pub its perfectly normal if a man approached them

I just don't get it.
Especially knowing many a woman has said "I am sick of meeting drunken fools in pubs"

But te alternative is out of the question completely

guitarzero · 15-03-2012 3:31am

I've considered just walking up to a woman on the street a few times but have always coward out and having read this thread, for good reason.

Form what I've gathered its all about "the norm" for Irish women. If its not the norm then you are a potential nutjob/killer. Are women happy with whats the norm? Do they enjoy the mundaneness of whats normal?

jill_valentine · 15-03-2012 4:06am

guitarzero wrote: »

I've considered just walking up to a woman on the street a few times but have always coward out and having read this thread, for good reason.

Form what I've gathered its all about "the norm" for Irish women. If its not the norm then you are a potential nutjob/killer. Are women happy with whats the norm? Do they enjoy the mundaneness of whats normal?

You guys might be surprised how often girls are cold approached in Ireland, even though it's not the "norm".

My issue is that every time I've been approached in the street, the dude was a tool. It's not so much about the norm, as opposed to the by-now deeply ingrained sense that such an approach is not going to mark an enjoyable encounter for me. It's going to result in another creep trying to follow me, another douche who doesn't take the hint, another deeply inappropriate and uncomfortable conversation from a weirdo etc. I've had all of those things more than once, so believe me, I'm not being somebody's hysterical mammy about this stuff.

I'm not easily rattled, and I'm pretty confident in myself, so I've never felt unsafe in Dublin. But all the same, that's a lot more hassle than I want to have to deal with on my way home after a long day's work.

Funny enough, being hit on by strangers in my workplace itself, or any kind of "static" situation, that's fine. But there's something about bothering me when I'm just trying to go from A to B that seems different, and I don't like it.

All that said - if somebody basically just handed me their name and number or even email address, said howaya, maybe a good line, and then paddled off on their way, yeah, that might be a winner. That's just not the scenario the thread calls to mind, in the main.

beks101 · 15-03-2012 4:55am

I think if it's a situation where you can establish a bit of rapport with the lady, you're in a far better position to get somewhere. There's little potential for that on the street, where most people are rushing somewhere and have their guard up to strangers because of the typical cold approachers being chuggers/junkies/beggars etc.

If you can open a conversation about something obvious that's happening around you - the music, how slow the queue is moving, the book she's reading, how crap the weather is etc - and build it from there, most women will feel more at ease and be open to you taking it a step further.

I think the best experience I've had of this was years back in a music store. I needed help getting a certain type of music for a relative of mine and the sales assistant dude was really helpful. After I had paid and I was about to leave he just said 'well I'm starving after that! Will we get some food?' I was a bit taken aback, but because we'd been chatting for a good while I knew he wasn't some weirdo and I thought 'what the hell'. We ended up spending the day together

Giruilla · 15-03-2012 3:02pm

I think the hardest part about chatting a girl up on the street is not knowing if she's single or not. If she isn't, nothings going to happen no matter how well you do. The chances of a girl in a bar being single are significantly higher, so percentage and effort wise its easier to do it there.

Seomra Mushie · 15-03-2012 3:16pm

beks101 wrote: »

I think the best experience I've had of this was years back in a music store. I needed help getting a certain type of music for a relative of mine and the sales assistant dude was really helpful. After I had paid and I was about to leave he just said 'well I'm starving after that! Will we get some food?' I was a bit taken aback, but because we'd been chatting for a good while I knew he wasn't some weirdo and I thought 'what the hell'. We ended up spending the day together

Awwww, I reckon he was super helpful because he liked what he saw.

ihsb · 15-03-2012 3:39pm

Giruilla wrote: »

I think the hardest part about chatting a girl up on the street is not knowing if she's single or not. If she isn't, nothings going to happen no matter how well you do. The chances of a girl in a bar being single are significantly higher, so percentage and effort wise its easier to do it there.

Of course, because only single girls go do bars

Giselle · 15-03-2012 3:55pm

ihsb wrote: »

Of course, because only single girls go do bars

They're probably more likely to be single if they're out in a bar without a boyfriend. Not guarenteed, but more likely.

Approaching a Girl in the Street

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