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Advice needed

  • 26-10-2014 5:37pm
    #1
    Briodys
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭


    Hi,

    I am a straight acting lad with a girlfriend but i am a closet homosexual.
    I am ok with this but my question is i fancy a lad i used to work with.
    He isn't gay but i got certain vibes from him over the years that he would be very open minded sexually.

    I am looking for advice on how to contact him and ask him about this while remaining anonymous at the start.
    I could text him from a number he doesn't know and try strike up a conversation but that may not work.
    I don't see this lad anymore as we don't work together.

    I've thought about him for quite a while.now so would really appreciate some advice.

    Thank you


Comments

  • #2
    Ten of Swords
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,125 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    Why bother with anonymous at the start? You don't work with him and you don't see him anymore so why do you care if he knows you're gay/bi?

    I'm guessing this isn't something you're going to run by the girlfriend (you can expect some flak from the morally righteous here) so if it's just an experiment or working out an urge it will only ever be temporary, especially if he's not gay and is just adventurous.

    Just ask, or continue to wonder.

    Moderator: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Vegan & Vegetarian

    Category Moderator: Social & Fun



  • #3
    BonnieSituation
    Registered Users Posts: 18,921 ✭✭✭✭BonnieSituation


    What 10OS said.


  • #4
    Mr.Frame
    Registered Users Posts: 766 ✭✭✭Mr.Frame


    Briodys wrote: »
    Hi,

    I am a straight acting lad with a girlfriend but i am a closet homosexual.
    I am ok with this but my question is i fancy a lad i used to work with.
    He isn't gay but i got certain vibes from him over the years that he would be very open minded sexually.

    I am looking for advice on how to contact him and ask him about this while remaining anonymous at the start.
    I could text him from a number he doesn't know and try strike up a conversation but that may not work.
    I don't see this lad anymore as we don't work together.

    I've thought about him for quite a while.now so would really appreciate some advice.

    Thank you

    What school of acting did you go to,to learn how to become "a straight acting lad"?.... In other words why did you feel it necessary to mention it ?

    First off, you say you a re a closeted homosexual and you are ok with it.
    Can I ask are you going to be that closeted homo for the rest of your life? living a lie ,potentially cheating on a girlfriend or go further get married ,play the straight happily married heterosexual man ,but having secret affairs with men ?

    Ask yourself is this the life for you ? Would this make you truly happy?
    Living a lie?
    Not being yourself ?

    I know it may sound harsh,but you really need to ask yourself if you want to behave like this,given that you may eventually be caught?
    This may lead to your (girlfriend/wife) getting hurt ,badly.

    With regard to contacting your friend in the hope that he may be open to some fun.As you said yourself you don't see him anymore so I would leave it .

    Txting him from another number anonymously is not a good idea, think about it for a moment.
    Imagine YOU getting "txts" from a stranger sussing you out with regard to having "fun". It's not a good idea at all.

    If you do want to have sex with a guy NOT your ex workmate, there are lots of ways to meet guys in your position.
    Various websites, then theres the bolierhouse ect
    IF you do decide to meet with a guy ,for goodness sake play safe at all times .
    Coming out for some is not easy,but living a lie and cheating on a "partner" wont make you happy either.


  • #5
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Briodys wrote: »
    Hi,

    I am a straight acting lad with a girlfriend but i am a closet homosexual.
    I am ok with this but my question is i fancy a lad i used to work with.
    He isn't gay but i got certain vibes from him over the years that he would be very open minded sexually.

    I am looking for advice on how to contact him and ask him about this while remaining anonymous at the start.
    I could text him from a number he doesn't know and try strike up a conversation but that may not work.
    I don't see this lad anymore as we don't work together.

    I've thought about him for quite a while.now so would really appreciate some advice.

    Thank you


    You might be okay with it but have a bit of respect for your girlfriend. She deserves better than to be with someone looking for a hook up with someone else behind her back. I feel really sorry for her. If you are happy to live a lie and pretend you are something you are not then fine, that's your choice to make but don't drag an innocent party into it. She could end up getting badly hurt.


  • #6
    La_Gordy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,767 ✭✭✭La_Gordy


    Can I ask, why are you remaining in the closet?


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  • #7
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,736 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I cant take this seriously op. If it serious pm me and I will consider reopening.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



This discussion has been closed.
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