Lies to Children

18-01-2008 10:30pm

Similar to the OP. One day when I came home from school, my dad greeted me with a big smile. He told me that there was a surprise waiting for me outside the shed. When I asked him if it was a bike, he said maybe, with a cheeky smile.

Got outside to find a pile of gravel, a wheelbarrow and a shovel. Some surprise.

Or when they'd send me to the shop and start counting, quite slowly, "one.. two.. three". I could not figure out for the life of me how I managed to get to the shop, buy the groceries, and back in 30 seconds.

jimmycrackcorm · 18-01-2008 10:33pm

When my son asks where he came from, I tell him Tescos, beside the frozen chickens. Tescos are out of babies stock every time we shop.

Twinkers · 18-01-2008 10:35pm

My Dad used to tell me that there was another little girl called 'Sheila' who was much better behaved than me. Whenever I misbehaved it was a case of "oh dear, Sheila would never do anything like that"

I can still vividly remember the day he said to my Mam "that's it Bernie, get the keys I'm off to get Sheila...."

Cue me behaving much better!

Jackz · 18-01-2008 10:39pm

"Your mother had an itch. . . . . . in a place that was awkward to reach. . . . . heres a fiver go get yourself whatever you want in the shop."

Overheal · 18-01-2008 10:59pm

Jackz wrote: »

"Your mother had an itch. . . . . . in a place that was awkward to reach. . . . . heres a fiver go get yourself whatever you want in the shop."

0_o

Toots · 19-01-2008 1:15am

Told my younger sister she was adopted and that when she turned 6 her real family were going to come and take her back, and every time someone mentioned her approaching birthday, she would start bawling saying she didn't want to go back to her real mammy and daddy. My mam nearly killed me when she found out:p

Rb · 19-01-2008 7:42am

Can't remember any lies I was personally told, but I remember telling my younger brother a bunch when we were kids.

During one of our many, many brawls, I once told him that I was going to have him locked up in a mental institution for the rest of his life as I'd be 18 quicker than he would be which would give me the power to. The poor guy was traumatised by that.

Also quite frequently told him he was adopted, citing proof being that he was the only left handed member of the family. He needed confirmation that he wasn't (though I'm sure he still had his doubts) from my folks over the years.

phasers · 19-01-2008 10:01am

you remember that bear, ted off the Den that Ray D'arcy used to wrestle?

I was told it was real
and he and his family would come and eat me and sit on my face
it terrified me

nixion · 19-01-2008 10:28am

i remember my mum and dad coming home with my kid sister. my mum had just given birth when i asked her where she got her she told me she had bought her from the hospital

jos28 · 19-01-2008 8:57pm

Everytime we made faces or crossed out eyes, my Mam would tell us that if the wind changed we'd be left like that.
Loadsa big lies about her age as well. Only found out her real age when whe was applying for her pension.
Carrots help you see in the dark.
Eat your crusts, they make your hair curly.
The sound of thunder is just Holy God moving his furniture.
One hours sleep before midnight is worth two hours after midnight ?????

orestes · 19-01-2008 9:14pm

Me and my three brothers were right little bastards on car trips, and it was always my mother driving while my grandmother was in the passanger seat, so to stop us messing about in the back seat and knocking the **** out of each other they convinced us that my grandmother had eyes in the back of her head. It was years before one of us noticed the mirror in the sun visor.

We also told my younger brother that chickens grew on a chicken-tree since the idea of eating a live animal freaked him out.

GrahamThomas · 20-01-2008 5:10pm

When I was younger I always wanted to stay up late for the New Years Eve. My mam knew I couldn't stay awake until midnight but she didn't want me to feel like I missed out. So every New Years she would turn all the clocks forward a few hours and have a mock countdown at about 9pm! All the adults would join in, sing Auld Lang Syne, and then i'd be sent off to bed happy as larry while the real celebrations continued downstairs

nixion · 20-01-2008 5:16pm

jos28 are you from an african back ground? because that first lie is what our parents always told us when we were young down here in kenya. and is still being used.am surprised its also used overseas

Aisling(",) · 20-01-2008 5:18pm

nixion wrote: »

jos28 are you from an african back ground? because that first lie is what our parents always told us when we were young down here in kenya. and is still being used.am surprised its also used overseas

my ma always used it as did many of my friends parents....even got used in school by teachers...and this is in Dublin

nixion · 20-01-2008 5:23pm

orestes that lie about your grandma watching you is so funny, i can imagine it happening. you guys might have felt that she was so powerful.

infact when i read it i laughed loud that everone in the internet cafe thought something was wrong with me

longshanks · 20-01-2008 5:28pm

telling lies makes the little baby jesus cry

whatsgoinon · 20-01-2008 9:52pm

one chrstmas, i was about 7, I came bouncing into the kitchen with my new toy, showing it off to the parents, my mam was like, is that not your sisters? ha 2 can play at the lying game, I got up in the middle of the night, sister had a better present than me so i just swapped them. I told mam that santa left it for me, she was raging but couldn't do anything about it

jos28 · 20-01-2008 9:53pm

No african connections, all Dubliners. Strange that our parents all told us the same lies. Kenya to Dublin, thats a lot way for a lie to travel.
Another one I thought of - we were never allowed chewing gum, my Mam said it was made out of cats guts !

nixion · 21-01-2008 10:44am

i also remeber one which they always told us when we never stopped crying. that they will call the doctor to inject us

Lies to Children

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