Cyber bullying going on right now by everyone I know - MOD WARNING POST #2

actuallylike · 05-01-2013 3:36pm #1

How do,
I need to phrase this carefully I guess because a thread was started yesterday about it and was shut down. As most people know there's a video going around of some girl been drunk and obnoxious in Dublin. Very cringeworthy indeed, but what is more cringeworthy is the response of most on facebook/twitter/etc. Now let me get this straight, I'm not an old fart moaning about something that isn't funny. Many a time I've posted on facebook people making fools out of themselves and I know that if I don't find something particularly funny (e.g. Frankie Boyle) I would come across as an asshole for complaining about it, humour is and always will be subjective, I get that.

But what has been going on online is nothing short of abuse. People posting her facebook profile, twitter account, posting on KPMG's website, harassment and nothing short of it. I know this isn't everyone, of the 8 times I saw the video shared yesterday, only 2 remain. Obviously the other 6 saw sense. Do none of these people remember stories of Phoebe Prince or Erin Gallagher?!? Erin especially so recently and on this very island and yet today and yesterday I see people not only sharing this video but encouraging everyone to share it more, actively trying to humiliate this girl as much as possible, pushing it as much as they can.

When I raised this issue on facebook I was then greeted with the responses of 'free speech', 'uncensored', etc. All issues to try and justify their abuse towards a 16 year old girl. I was also quoted other such videos like the 'Leave it ouh' video and did I feel such strongly about the fella getting his head kicked in or Techno Viking who has a law suit against the makers of his video. I was asked if it was a drunk junkie would I feel so strongly? Again, all these are just smokescreens to poorly attempt the justification of their abuse towards of a young girl. I was then accused of been up on my high horse. Well I'm sorry, maybe I am getting old, maybe I have become everything I used to hate in the traditionalist sense, maybe I amn't 'hip' anymore; but what I'm seeing is blatant abuse and harassment of a 16 year old girl who got drunk. Abuse that is been dragged out for maximum effect.

A comment I heard about her is that everything remains on the internet. Well that works both ways. If this goes tits up (and that's not a dramatisation, this has happened over and over again) all your shares and posts remain online also and will show you for the scum that you are. Leave it out, in the words of Michael Caine 'She was only 16 years old'.

ps a thread showing the video was closed yesterday, please don't post links, this thread is not about the video, more about the reaction to it.

humanji · 05-01-2013 3:41pm

This thread will be HEAVILY moderated. If you f*ck around, you will be permanently banned. No videos, pictures or links to anyone's personal information are to be posted.

This is a thread about cyber-bullying and it's effects. If you want to just insult people (be they the focus of any particular videos or those who made fun of such people) then do it on another site.

Think before you post!

AltAccount · 05-01-2013 3:41pm

What's the difference between this thread and the Feedback one?

Higher · 05-01-2013 3:45pm

I'm like a broken record at this stage buuuuuuttt...

People need to actually look at the background of the video. She came into Rays Pizza shoeless and eating scraps of pizza off the table. She was clearly provoked by the guys filming and gave the OTT reaction. My reading is the lads themselves alleged she was poor because of her shoeless state (would explain her 'you cant afford shoes' comment. She then responded saying she was rich, her dad is partner KPMG etc. to shut them up. It was the sort of mad rant that I used to see people who were bullied in school go on when the abuse got too much.

Also the lads filming try to get camera shots up her skirt, which is disgusting to be honest.

Bullying perverts IMO.

actuallylike · 05-01-2013 3:45pm

I'm not aware of the feedback one?

Edit: just saw it there. Will have a read of it now. Although I think the thread is still valid as it's a discussion of the reaction to said video. Humanji, thanks for entertaining this. I understand it's a sensitive topic.

gallag · 05-01-2013 3:47pm

What about if the person was a bully? I.e if there was a video of a someone bullying people, making fun of their cloths, pushing people, telling them they are worthless etc, would it be bullying to post a video of a bully?

Ghandee · 05-01-2013 3:47pm

Bullying has always existed OP, cyber bullying makes it easier to reach the masses, but bullying has existed from man first walked upright.

I know its deplorable, but tbh, I think all its discussion online at the min is just the latest online craze.

It'll be something different in a few months.

the keen edge · 05-01-2013 3:48pm

♫ We're walking on egg shells, whoa whoo! ♫

Higher · 05-01-2013 3:49pm

Ghandee wrote: »

Bullying has always existed OP, cyber bullying makes it easier to reach the masses, but bullying has existed from man first walked upright.

I know its deplorable, but tbh, I think all its discussion online at the min is just the latest online craze.

It'll be something different in a few months.

Cyber-bullying can be so much worse. Once it reaches the masses then it can get very nasty. I believe the girl in question has received death threats and called everything under the sun by thousands of people. I'm glad boards.ie but a stop to it at least here.

actuallylike · 05-01-2013 3:49pm

Higher wrote: »

I'm like a broken record at this stage buuuuuuttt...

People need to actually look at the background of the video. She came into Rays Pizza shoeless and eating scraps of pizza off the table. She was clearly provoked by the guys filming and gave the OTT reaction. My reading is the lads themselves alleged she was poor because of her shoeless state (would explain her 'you cant afford shoes' comment. She then responded saying she was rich, her dad is partner KPMG etc. to shut them up. It was the sort of mad rant that I used to see people who were bullied in school go on when the abuse got too much.

Also the lads filming try to get camera shots up her skirt, which is disgusting to be honest.

Bullying perverts IMO.

Sorry, but I think this is the type of post to get this thread closed. It's about the perverse reaction to it by people online, not the video itself. Revelling in it and actively encouraging it is the issue at hand.

humanji · 05-01-2013 3:50pm

gallag wrote: »

What about if the person was a bully? I.e if there was a video of a someone bullying people, making fun of their cloths, pushing people, telling them they are worthless etc, would it be bullying to post a video of a bully?

Nope, because it's still bullying.

Ghandee wrote: »

Bullying has always existed OP, cyber bullying makes it easier to reach the masses, but bullying has existed from man first walked upright.

I know its deplorable, but tbh, I think all its discussion online at the min is just the latest online craze.

It'll be something different in a few months.

I sadly doubt it. The online world is becoming more and more important to everyday life. Cyber-bullying is only really in the news now because there's been so many deaths recently because of it. But it's been about for a long time and it's going to get much worse.

gingernut125 · 05-01-2013 3:51pm

Higher wrote: »

I'm like a broken record at this stage buuuuuuttt...

People need to actually look at the background of the video. She came into Rays Pizza shoeless and eating scraps of pizza off the table. She was clearly provoked by the guys filming and gave the OTT reaction. It was the sort of mad rant that I used to see people who were bullied in school go on when the abuse got too much.

Also the lads filming try to get camera shots up her skirt, which is disgusting to be honest.

Bullying perverts IMO.

Agreed. I'm kinda sick of this horrible bullying culture, it's disgusting. The amount of worse stories you hear all the time, drunk people are idiots, nothing new

biko · 05-01-2013 3:52pm

Goes to show, camera phones and drink taken - disaster.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 05-01-2013 3:52pm

This is what happens when you give people irresponsible people free speech: just becase you CAN say something, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

People have been caught and prosecuted for this kind of stuff before - Tom Daley situation as an example - and long may it (presecutions) continue.

I take a line from another thread about the mother who gave her son an iPod and a contract on her expectations of usage:

"Never say anything online about someone that you wouldn't say in a full room".
Good advice.

jamesbondings · 05-01-2013 3:55pm

actuallylike wrote: »

How do,
I need to phrase this carefully I guess because a thread was started yesterday about it and was shut down. As most
people know there's a video going around of some girl been drunk and obnoxious in Dublin. Very cringeworthy indeed, but what is more cringeworthy is the response of most on facebook/twitter/etc. Now let me get this straight, I'm not an old fart moaning about something that isn't funny. Many a time I've posted on facebook people making fools out of themselves and I know that if I don't find something particularly funny (e.g. Frankie Boyle) I would come across as an asshole for complaining about it, humour is and always will be subjective, I get that.

But what has been going on online is nothing short of abuse. People posting her facebook profile, twitter account, posting on KPMG's website, harassment and nothing short of it. I know this isn't everyone, of the 8 times I saw the video shared yesterday, only 2 remain. Obviously the other 6 saw sense. Do none of these people remember stories of Phoebe Prince or Erin Gallagher?!? Erin especially so recently and on this very island and yet today and yesterday I see people not only sharing this video but encouraging everyone to share it more, actively trying to humiliate this girl as much as possible, pushing it as much as they can.

When I raised this issue on facebook I was then greeted with the responses of 'free speech', 'uncensored', etc. All issues to try and justify their abuse towards a 16 year old girl. I was also quoted other such videos like the 'Leave it ouh' video and did I feel such strongly about the fella getting his head kicked in or Techno Viking who has a law suit against the makers of his video. I was asked if it was a drunk junkie would I feel so strongly? Again, all these are just smokescreens to poorly attempt the justification of their abuse towards of a young girl. I was then accused of been up on my high horse. Well I'm sorry, maybe I am getting old, maybe I have become everything I used to hate in the traditionalist sense, maybe I amn't 'hip' anymore; but what I'm seeing is blatant abuse and harassment of a 16 year old girl who got drunk. Abuse that is been dragged out for maximum effect.

A comment I heard about her is that everything remains on the internet. Well that works both ways. If this goes tits up (and that's not a dramatisation, this has happened over and over again) all your shares and posts remain online also and will show you for the scum that you are. Leave it out, in the words of Michael Caine 'She was only 16 years old'.

ps a thread showing the video was closed yesterday, please don't post links, this thread is not about the video, more about the reaction to it.

I was brought up to understand that my actions good or bad had consequences. Everyone has done stupid things while drunk but has had to deal with the aftermath.

I believe in tough love. This whole debacle will teach her some humility the whole thing will die down in a few weeks and she can get on with her life.

Im sure she's mortified however to call people who like it and share it online bullies is ridiculous. She was obscene offensive and abusive and important sure she will learn a valuable lesson. Not saying there was an innocent party in the video either.

Ghandee · 05-01-2013 3:55pm

Higher wrote: »

Cyber-bullying can be so much worse. Once it reaches the masses then it can get very nasty. I believe the girl in question has received death threats and called everything under the sun by thousands of people. I'm glad boards.ie but a stop to it at least here.

I agree with all of the above, no argument.

I'm merely talking about the spate of high profile cyber bullying news articles this past few months.

For shame I googled that video mentioned in your post, and although the girl in question seemed a little irritating, what the lads were doing to her was deplorable (slagging and filming it).

Merely pointing out that that had been going on for years now, many years, putting it on video and uploading to YouTube is all that's changed.

Madam_X · 05-01-2013 3:58pm

God, some people actually use the "free speech" and "censorship" gems to defend online harassment. They'll presumably be cool about getting bullied themselves so.

Lyaiera · 05-01-2013 4:01pm

I remember going ape at people who wanted to record our stoned conversations for posterity, telling them, "That's incriminating, that could be used to prosecute us!" Unfortunately now I'd be far more worried about my ramblings ending up on the internet (I don't smoke no more if you're reading Mr. Garda or Mam.)

I think there's definitely a privacy issue, unfortunately there's a delicate balance that needs to be struck. On the one hand recording of things in public places has been incredibly important for tracking social change: for historians, sociologists, artists and for society itself. And there is no expectation of privacy in public.

I think the reality of the situation is that society will have to police itself organically, private citizens deciding what is and isn't acceptable for them, and of course the media business acting ethically, especially the digital media like Facebook and Boards. Unfortunately I don't see business policing itself, it has majorly failed to do so throughout the entirety of history. Especially when they're motivated by profit and not social good. Instead it's going to have all start with individuals.

titan18 · 05-01-2013 4:01pm

Madam_X wrote: »

God, some people actually use the "free speech" and "censorship" gems to defend online harassment. They'll presumably be cool about getting bullied themselves so.

Where do you draw the line? Should we lock all threads about rapists/criminals, like the one currently active on the high school in America, because there's a risk of online harrassment (deserved or not, especially in cases that aren't closed)

Fwiw,I agree with it being closed after what I read what people were saying on Twitter about her

ANXIOUS · 05-01-2013 4:02pm

How people aren't up in arms, when a video of some 16 year old scobie getting the ****e kicked out of him and someone saying leave it out goes viral? We didn't see what the scobie did, but that was fine. The person we are all thinking about knew she was being filmed she even had her picture taken that morning for the independent.

People need to take a step back and see what they have an issue with in that video and if they imply it to any other video.

Fromthetrees · 05-01-2013 4:03pm

Cyber bullying is different to real life bullying. The tactics employed may be similar but the method is different. I can remember about 7 or 8 years ago this picture did the rounds of a gril/women with her legs open wide, ahem, her boyfreind took the photo and when they broke up for whatever reason he decided to share it. The photo went 'viral' and the whole thing was disgusting. 'Back in the day' this couldn't have happened to her, maybe the ex boyfriend could have bad mouthed her around to people but the scale and intensity is far greater now.

If a child was being bullied in school 20 years ago by a group of people, maybe one day he or she could turn around and let loose on one of the 'ringleaders', now there seems to be 700 friends on facebook to back up the ringleaders so again the whole scale and intensity of the bullying becomes much bigger to the victim.

the keen edge · 05-01-2013 4:05pm

The Cork fighting teenagers thread was let run to 420+ posts over the course of 6 days and was only locked, and not deleted mind, minutes ago.

Seemingly, on these forums at least, cyberbullying affects you differently depending on what section of society you can claim to be from.

Higher · 05-01-2013 4:06pm

ANXIOUS wrote: »

How people aren't up in arms, when a video of some 16 year old scobie getting the ****e kicked out of him and someone saying leave it out goes viral? We didn't see what the scobie did, but that was fine. The person we are all thinking about knew she was being filmed she even had her picture taken that morning for the independent.

People need to take a step back and see what they have an issue with in that video and if they imply it to any other video.

hmm lets see...

Scobie had been assaulting people all day with an umbrella
A guy responded in self-defence and the scobie got a beating
Scobie cannot be identified, he received his punishment and that was that.

Now the girl video

Did not commit any crime, in fact she was the one provoked by the lads filming
The lads filming try on two occassions to get a camera shot up her skirt
She goes on a rant that could ruin her career prospects because she is provoked and drunk
She is easily identified, she receives a number of death threats
Her family including her sister and father also receive a torrent of abuse.

Can you see any difference?

You say its being censored by boards.ie because shes rich but its a clear case of bullying and lets be honest, the only reason you're opposing its censorship is because she is rich and you don't like that.

Biggins · 05-01-2013 4:07pm

titan18 wrote: »

Where do you draw the line? Should we lock all threads about rapists/criminals, like the one currently active on the high school in America, because there's a risk of online harrassment (deserved or not, especially in cases that aren't closed)

Fwiw,I agree with it being closed after what I read what people were saying on Twitter about her

There is a huge diffrence between me going out getting drunk, making an ass of myself on video - opposite someone talking (joking) about a very serious crime.

* One is of a personal nature and would the first person not ever to say other daft things when drunk, please stand up!

* The other relates to possible evidence of a very serious crime.

...And you should note that there is no videos posted on boards.ie now of either of the above.

T-K-O · 05-01-2013 4:10pm

The person in question should disable their social media accounts, dont read that ****, simples.

Fr_Dougal · 05-01-2013 4:12pm

Biggins wrote: »

There is a huge diffrence between me going out getting drunk, making an ass of myself on video - opposite someone talking (joking) about a very serious crime.

* One is of a personal nature and would the first person not ever to say other daft things when drunk, please stand up!

* The other relates to possible evidence of a very serious crime.

...And you should note that there is no videos posted on boards.ie now of either of the above.

So if you feel it's justified then bullying is OK?

Mr Simpson · 05-01-2013 4:12pm

the keen edge wrote: »

The Cork fighting teenagers thread was let run to 420+ posts over the course of 6 days and was only locked, and not deleted mind, minutes ago.

Seemingly, on these forums at least, cyberbullying affects you differently depending on what section of society you can claim to be from.

In the short time between these two videos, a lot has changed. The whole issue of cyber bullying has been brought to the foreground.

Also, the video of the cork girls did not result in the receiving death threats

Biggins · 05-01-2013 4:13pm

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

So if you feel it's justified then bullying is OK?

No.
(and I have not said that it is, thank you.)

I pointed out a substantial difference.

Additionally, one video was directly made willingly and the other was a recording (made in close background) of a person who was speaking to another person.

bootybouncer · 05-01-2013 4:13pm

alcohol should be totally banned from this country .....................................

gingernut125 · 05-01-2013 4:14pm

T-K-O wrote: »

The person in question should disable their social media accounts, dont read that ****, simples.

She did, doesn't excuse the cowardly death threats and immoral abuse she's getting ....

titan18 · 05-01-2013 4:15pm

Biggins wrote: »

There is a huge diffrence between me going out getting drunk, making an ass of myself on video - opposite someone talking (joking) about a very serious crime.

* One is of a personal nature and would the first person not ever to say other daft things when drunk, please stand up!

* The other relates to possible evidence of a very serious crime.

...And you should note that there is no videos posted on boards.ie now of either of the above.

Fwiw, I'd imagine the guy bragging about the rape is drunk and more than likely was underage at the time. Ignoring the content, there's no huge difference between the two videos (content-wise, there obviously is).

If the debate is about banning videos and discussion of stuff that could lead to cyber - bullying of minors, then I don't see how both can stay (although tbf both threads can be changed in such a way as to not be about that providing they're moderated heavily).

There's been plenty of cases on boards where there's either a video, news source etc, where because of the content, cyber - bullying can be a direct occurrence. If boards.ie's stance is to not condone that, then I don't see how exceptions can be made because of the content, as we just end up with situations like this, where people are saying if she wasn't rich, this would be allowed up.

However, I do think, discussions can be had about multiple things in both (well pretty much everything in the rape case, and discussions on the attitude to alcohol that people are saying we've all done stupid things when drunk, why she was allowed out like that as she's 16, class divisions, social media and effects of videos like that etc)

Cyber bullying going on right now by everyone I know - MOD WARNING POST #2

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