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Grand gestures in public

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Comments

  • #32
    Memnoch
    Registered Users Posts: 4,276 ✭✭✭Memnoch


    I've been thinking about this recently.

    I've been with my OH for 11 years, married for four. A few years ago I started sending her flowers on valentine's day at work and sometimes on her birthday. Now I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I've been a bit of a tool about it.

    She seems to really love getting them, but she told me how a few days before valentines' she had a chat with her colleagues who were all quite down on the idea of people getting flowers at work in general (this is a different job to the one she was at the last few years). I really did want to send her flowers, especially since she is in a different city and we couldn't be together on Valentine's day but I didn't want to embarrass her, so I just gave her a present on the weekend beforehand and suggested that I mightn't send her flowers this time and she didn't mind at all.

    I've always been a fan of grand gestures, though not usually in public. Because I think she's a really special girl and even though I do tell her how great I think she is and we always have a great time together, I think it's really worth reminding her from time to time just how special I think she really is. So now I'm not sure whether I should send her flowers at work on her birthday or next year on valentine's day, when it comes around again, or just give them to her at home?


  • #33
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Memnoch wrote: »
    I've been thinking about this recently.

    I've been with my OH for 11 years, married for four. A few years ago I started sending her flowers on valentine's day at work and sometimes on her birthday. Now I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I've been a bit of a tool about it.

    She seems to really love getting them, but she told me how a few days before valentines' she had a chat with her colleagues who were all quite down on the idea of people getting flowers at work in general (this is a different job to the one she was at the last few years). I really did want to send her flowers, especially since she is in a different city and we couldn't be together on Valentine's day but I didn't want to embarrass her, so I just gave her a present on the weekend beforehand and suggested that I mightn't send her flowers this time and she didn't mind at all.

    I've always been a fan of grand gestures, though not usually in public. Because I think she's a really special girl and even though I do tell her how great I think she is and we always have a great time together, I think it's really worth reminding her from time to time just how special I think she really is. So now I'm not sure whether I should send her flowers at work on her birthday or next year on valentine's day, when it comes around again, or just give them to her at home?

    As I said before, I don't get the public gestures and generally think they range from cringe-worthy to annoying to plain odd. However, I'm sure there are things I or my partner does that may delight me but make other people cringe. What works for some couples may really not work for others - we have seen in this thread is that some people love getting flowers etc. at work and other people don't.

    Your wife has indicated she likes getting them ( you have been together for so long, I am sure if she didn't appreciate the gesture, she'd let you know) so you were definitely not a tool to send them and you should continue to send them if it makes you both happy.

    However, it sounds that maybe her new office environment is different and she may be a little uncomfortable receiving them at work - so if you really wanted to send them to work, perhaps check again nearer her birthday?

    As for 'just' give them to her at home? It can be far more intimate and lovely to present the flowers personally at home before work than to have some courier or reception deliver the flowers to her desk. There's no 'just' about that!


  • #34
    Julybride
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15 ✭Julybride


    It is absolutely bizarre. I guess they feel the need to show the world their lives! Has anybody seen that new tv programe (I forgot which channel) on which either a male or female proposes to his/her other half by for example: propose at the top of the mountain, with a choir etc... I just do not understand why anybody would want to share something so intimate & so special with the rest of the world. People feel ilke they have to do it with a bang! If it works for them, great but I personally would have been mortified!!!!


  • #35
    Kash
    Registered Users Posts: 1,065 ✭✭✭Kash


    I say let them do whatever makes them happy, and to hell with the naysayers and begrudgers!

    Everyone expresses their love differently: be that an over-the-top, public declarations of undying affection, or private handholding while you watch tv.

    I was honestly surprised that so many people here in the lounge feel that it comes across as smug or offensive.

    I would never be annoyed or upset by whatever anyone else does to show how happy they are - seeing other people in love makes me smile!


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