Not happy with daughter's hobby

waggs · 01-07-2014 9:57am #1

Hobby is not the right word - passion is more accurate. My daughter fell into freestyle disco dancing without me realising what she was getting into. There was a local dance class - I thought it was hip hop, and the attire would be tracksuits etc., that cost 5 euro that she knew someone was doing and she asked could she join. I thought fine and thought it might be something she'd do for a little while and give up. But from day one she had fallen in love with it. She'd previously done Irish dancing and was a bit hit and miss about how she felt about it but she adored this new dance class. I thought fine, but warned no competitions. Eventually, she wore me down and I agreed to one competition. But her passion grew and grew and she practiced every day and as competition is where you get rewarded for your hard work I started agreeing to more. I hate the bloody thing. I don't like the cost or the costumes, and I especially don't like the atmosphere at the competitions. On the flip side, she's become very fit and it is teaching her about hard work and dedication. It's just a whole world of fake tan and sequins that I detest. Can't work out whether I'm wrong letting her partake or would I be wrong to pull her out. She is 13, a good kid and straight A student.

b318isp · 01-07-2014 9:59am

Sounds like a First World problem to me.

Let her at it, she will gain more than you perceive you will to lose.

coolabula · 01-07-2014 10:10am

I agree with you OP, I hate seeing pics of friends kids, dolled up with face tan and the rest. However if she is enjoying it, keeping fit and keeping up with school work you really should let her continue.
I think continuing will help her in the long run, I believe a big problem today is girls not being active when they become teens, let her go as long as she wants. Better than her hanging around street corners and getting into trouble.

eviltwin · 01-07-2014 10:13am

I'd let her stick with it as well once her school work doesn't suffer. Hobbies are expensive no matter what they do and she is doing something that is good for her and she enjoys it so I'd encourage her with it.

PLUG71 · 01-07-2014 10:16am

Could be worse o/p!

I bet you would rather she carried on dancing than having her roaming around the streets!?

jca · 01-07-2014 10:21am

PLUG71 wrote: »

Could be worse o/p!

I bet you would rather she carried on dancing than having her roaming around the streets!?

Or lying on the sofa all day looking for phone credit:mad:

Canis Lupus · 01-07-2014 10:22am

Just took a look at what that was in Youtube.... It's like some drug induced dance martial art fight. I can see why you'd hate it! However.... if it's not really hurting anything other than your pocket I suppose you should suck it up like any good parent.

Lets be real... there are much much much worse alternatives for your 13 year old daughter to be interested in....

Chattastrophe! · 01-07-2014 11:43am

I never even knew this was a "thing"!

If she was into, for example, ice-skating it would be all fake tan and glittery skimpy costumes as well, but I've a feeling this would be a more "acceptable" hobby somehow!

I'd leave her at it while she's enjoying it, to be honest, and be as supportive as you can (including encouraging her at competitions!) Chances are she'll outgrow it in her own time anyways. It's actually often quite difficult to get teenagers passionate about any sport or hobby, it would be a pity to take this away from her.

byhookorbycrook · 01-07-2014 8:00pm

Be grateful she hasn't found horses.

Toots · 01-07-2014 9:07pm

I had to google that to find out what it was, and I can see what you mean about the costumes....they're pretty awful. That being said, I agree with others on the thread who said it's probably best to continue allowing her to do it. It's great to have a hobby, and one that keeps you fit is fantastic. Also if she's really passionate about it, she won't take kindly to you stopping her doing it, so you could be dealing with months upon months of resentful teenager. From my memory of being a teenage girl, they tend to hold a grudge

waggs · 01-07-2014 10:01pm

Thanks everyone. I was just looking for people to say it is ok to leave her in it I suppose. I do see all the benefits - her dedication impresses me- two and a half hours practice today for example. It's just a culture shock for me and there are plenty of people involved in this world whose behaviour at competitions would warrant an ASBO anywhere else. I don't think I'll ever be entirely comfortable about it but please God I will never regret having not pulled her out of it.

HomelessMidge · 01-07-2014 10:05pm

My sister loves all forms of dancing and has done gymnastics, ballet, majorettes and does the disco dancing also. But the disco dancing is the only one my mother won't allow her into the competitions. Cost is a factor but also the costumes and such.

You should have stuck to your original agreement of allowing the classes but no competitions.

January · 01-07-2014 10:33pm

Costumes can be designed to whatever specifications you or your daughter like, they don't have to be the skimpy cut out type that most seem to wear. My 5 year old was doing free style up until I had to pull her out because of her heart condition, as soon as I get the OK from her doctors after surgery she'll be going back because she loves it and my other daughters will have a go too and if they like it they'll do it, if not we'll find them another hobby.

Some people do see it as the 'council estate' version of the dance world but there are some really respectable families that partake in the sport.

Leave her too it as long as she enjoys it.

lulu1 · 01-07-2014 10:40pm

Yea I would let her continue but I would make sure there are no skimpy costumes whether she likes it or not and believe me she will agree with you just to get dancing

gctest50 · 01-07-2014 10:44pm

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Be grateful she hasn't found horses.

Be really grateful she hasn't found mini horses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7d822QhN6I

Canis Lupus · 02-07-2014 7:42am

waggs wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I was just looking for people to say it is ok to leave her in it I suppose. I do see all the benefits - her dedication impresses me- two and a half hours practice today for example. It's just a culture shock for me and there are plenty of people involved in this world whose behaviour at competitions would warrant an ASBO anywhere else. I don't think I'll ever be entirely comfortable about it but please God I will never regret having not pulled her out of it.

Take lots of pictures and videos.

When she's older..... use them as blackmail.

Skerries · 02-07-2014 7:49am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Take lots of pictures and videos.When she's older..... use them as blackmail.

vibe666 · 02-07-2014 7:54am

Wasn't this the exact plot of footloose?

we'llallhavetea · 12-08-2014 1:56pm

I second the horse comment, could be paying a bloody mortgage if it wasn't for the poxy pony!! :mad:

sadie06 · 18-08-2014 6:17pm

I think the whole thing is hideous to be honest. It lacks any musicality, and looks more like a high energy assault than a routine. Even on the programme Got to Dance, the judges are dismissive of it as an acceptable form of dance, and instead refer to it as a work out as there is so little attention paid to interpretation of the music.

Add into this the ridiculous costumes and culture of pushy parents, and I really think you should go with your instincts and pull her out of it. Do your research first though. Find a really good street dance/hip-hop class near you. There are lots of bad ones, so that may take a while. She will get over it and soon come to love the group atmosphere in hip-hop.

PuddingHead · 19-08-2014 9:34am

Those costumes are not appropriate for kids just did the old youtube on it, jesus christ!

However, attire aside, when i was 13 i went drinking in a hedge in my spare time... so what's worse

Rough Sleeper · 24-08-2014 2:27pm

I had no no idea what freestyle disco dancing was. Having googled it it's pretty safe to say that it's by far the most aesthetically hideous thing I've ever seen in my life.

rainbowtrout · 04-10-2014 11:29pm

I think you should let her continue. She's found something she likes. It's keeping her fit and active and not doing her any major harm. You can negotiate the costumes with her so they are not too skimpy.

The fake tan and sequins are the least of your worries. I don't see them as any worse than those god awful wigs girls wear for Irish dancing these days. She might decide when she's 14-15 that's she too cool to go to dancing anymore and spend her time slapping on fake tan without ever going to a competition.

vinnie13 · 07-10-2014 10:24pm

waggs wrote: »

Hobby is not the right word - passion is more accurate. My daughter fell into freestyle disco dancing without me realising what she was getting into. There was a local dance class - I thought it was hip hop, and the attire would be tracksuits etc., that cost 5 euro that she knew someone was doing and she asked could she join. I thought fine and thought it might be something she'd do for a little while and give up. But from day one she had fallen in love with it. She'd previously done Irish dancing and was a bit hit and miss about how she felt about it but she adored this new dance class. I thought fine, but warned no competitions. Eventually, she wore me down and I agreed to one competition. But her passion grew and grew and she practiced every day and as competition is where you get rewarded for your hard work I started agreeing to more. I hate the bloody thing. I don't like the cost or the costumes, and I especially don't like the atmosphere at the competitions. On the flip side, she's become very fit and it is teaching her about hard work and dedication. It's just a whole world of fake tan and sequins that I detest. Can't work out whether I'm wrong letting her partake or would I be wrong to pull her out. She is 13, a good kid and straight A student.

you should be happy she is into something like this and not worse

Not happy with daughter's hobby

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