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New poem - attempting bad poetry

  • 17-10-2013 6:39pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,006 ✭✭✭


    The man with the golden touch

    He walks, he walks
    but never falls
    this steady peacock strut
    as if by magic's clock
    of another time
    looking and seeking
    but never distant
    always somehow present
    inside himself
    eyes that reverse
    and fingers that feel and grasp
    this alien terrain
    where others doubt and stumble
    their gazes fearful
    searching
    the loss that is inside of them



    ...just wrote it there, took me about 2 minutes, I find that when I don't think and just ramble on I produce my best work (having said that, the poem carries a clear message)

    what do you think?

    I was going to stick up an anthology on kindle called the "50 worst poems ever" but I find it exceedingly difficult to write bad poetry, there's quite an art to it, truly bad poetry must think it's good if you know what I mean and when I try to capture bad poetry, it often ends up not so bad, I get the occassional classic line of "bad poetry" but I find it hard to maintain that standard

    one line I had was "time stands still like an unhungry goat", something like that is perfect bad poetry in that it's pompous and self-satisfied without being cliched - I find it hard to maintain that over an entire poem

    Am I being understood?


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    donfers wrote: »
    The man with the golden touch

    He walks, he walks
    but never falls
    this steady peacock strut
    as if by magic's clock
    of another time
    looking and seeking
    but never distant
    always somehow present
    inside himself
    eyes that reverse
    and fingers that feel and grasp
    this alien terrain
    where others doubt and stumble
    their gazes fearful
    searching
    the loss that is inside of them



    ...just wrote it there, took me about 2 minutes, I find that when I don't think and just ramble on I produce my best work (having said that, the poem carries a clear message)

    what do you think?

    Tiny bit rough around the edges (whatever that means) but have to say I like it :)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,006 ✭✭✭donfers


    hmmm of course I'll freely admit that writing bad poetry offers an easy get-out clause in one way, in so much that the writer can't lose, if it's good then it's good because I am incapable of writing badly, if it's bad it's because I meant it that way and I am satirising something or other


  • Registered Users Posts: 763 ✭✭✭alfa beta


    donfers wrote: »
    "time stands still like an unhungry goat"

    i love that - it's genius

    reminds me of Eliot

    how could you say that's bad??!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 165 ✭✭Evelyn Cusack


    I liked it. Here's one close to my heart

    Notes to a Loved One

    These eyes have seen death,
    these eyes have seen diseases and famines,
    these eyes have seen acts of terrorism
    these eyes have seen war and starvation.
    And yet …
    these eyes have seen things of beauty;
    The beauty in a new-born’s eyes
    the beauty I see when I look at you.
    No diseases or famine
    No acts of terrorism or starvation
    can ever take that away from me.
    Your beauty is as eternal as
    the stars at night.
    Your smile is as golden as
    the sun when it rises.
    Your name shall forever echo
    in the depths of my soul.
    When I look at you and see all this
    there is only one thing I can think of
    there is only one thing I can say;
    I love you


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,063 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    I came across this guy on Authonomy who was by some distance the world's worst poet, and possibly the most prolific. This isn't anywhere near his standard I'm afraid. It's far too readable.


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