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Worst Valentines

  • 16-02-2014 4:55am
    #1
    pughug
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 7 months now and we've known each other for over a year.

    On Valentines day I got my mum to drop off a massive gift with him, a basket with lots of little lollies and things I had made for him. So when he came home from school (he was apparently late coming home to talk to me over skype), he said thanks for the present. Then i asked him about how his day was. He said he was at his school's swimming carnival and he talked to his twin brother and his ex girlfriend majority of the day. And he said that also apparently he was going to her birthday party tomorrow which is a sleepover, but said that he wasn't gonna stay the night. At first I was a little upset. And I continued to talk to him for a bit, never mention about doing anything for valentines day or anything. He didn't even wanna suggest that we might wanna at least meet up for a bit. So, I ran away from home for about 4 hours. My whole family, boyfriend and bestfriend were all worried sick. I came home, my family had called the police, ect. I came home and apologized to my boyfriend, just said that I needed a bit of fresh air cuz i wasn't feeling the best. We talked for about 15 minutes, then I went to bed. he stayed up playing games with all his friends and was completely fine about everything.

    The following day, my mother offered to take me out to the shops and movies to help cheer me up. And after my mum had ot go to work, I waited for my dad to come pick me up from the shops. While i was waiting I went on skype to check if my boyfriend had left for the party left. Apparently since his twin brother was going too, he had to sleep the night cuz it was easier on his mother. He said that he didn't wanna sleep over in the first place, btu it's just easier if he does. And yes, I can understand that. I was extremely devastated though. But then I asked if he could mayeb catch the bus home or something. he refused to budge and kept saying, I can't help it, it's not my choice. but then i thought, well... isn't it your choice to go? I felt really really upset about this. I know that he would never do anything with another girl to betray me, but there was gonna be a whole bunch of other girls there and he'd probably just put aside my feelings for him. I told him, if you do this, you are gonna make me extremely uncomfortable, upset, depressed, and worried. He didn't hesitate.

    And it's the next day after and I still haven't heard from him. Was it ok for him to do that to me? I trust him and all, but he purposely went out of his way to make me uncomfortable and unhappy.
    Tagged:


Comments

  • #2
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    You are trying to manipulate him to do what you want by telling him he is making you unhappy and depressed etc.

    Sorry op but you don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship and the fact that you run away to deal with your feelings conforms that.

    Maybe you should consider being single for a while to allow you work on your own happiness.


  • #3
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Op if you are upset with your boyfriend you tell him. Running away and having your family and friends worried is not clever and its very unfair on the people who didn't hurt you. Your parents seem very understanding and your mum even tried to take you out to cheer you up...so to run away only causes unnecessary dramatics and does no one any good.

    In an even relationship there is no keeping score and no need to over react when things go differently to how you planned, so maybe that's something to think about.

    Why did you not go to the birthday party btw? Surely your boyfriend could have invited you as a plus one?

    The two of you seem young and things like this happen. ..but you're never going to be happy until you both understand what each others limits and expectations and if you can't communicate without dramatic reactions like running away then perhaps you should wait a little longer before being in a relationship?


  • #4
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    I take it you are very young OP. The kindest thing I can say to you is that you don't seem to be mature enough for this relationship yet. Running away from home like that is the selfish act of a child who doesn't consider the feelings of others.


  • #5
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Why were you upset that your boyfriend was going to a party/ sleepover? He is entitled to have his own fun with his own friends, male or female. You sound very insecure, and manipulative behaviour like you have shown will push him away from you.

    If you were upset that he did not get you a Valentine's gift, then say it to him. You are obviously young, but this is the best piece of relationship advice you can ever follow- COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER.

    If you needed fresh air for four hours, then say it to your folks/ friends. "Running away" is extremely selfish and causes a huge amount of worry for the people who care for you. You only have to open the newspaper to see stories of broken families with missing children to realise what you did was hugely immature, dramatic and selfish.

    If you want this relationship to continue, then you really need to start amending your behaviour and acting a bit more mature.


  • #6
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Lukehandypants, as per the Forum Charter, if you can't post in a civil manner, please consider not posting at all. Snide comments that serve no purpose other than to take a potshot at the OP will not be tolerated, and future comments like this will lead to an infraction or ban.

    regards,

    mike


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  • #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    I take it you are very young OP. The kindest thing I can say to you is that you don't seem to be mature enough for this relationship yet. Running away from home like that is the selfish act of a child who doesn't consider the feelings of others.


    You should probably step back from full-on relationships for a while OP, until you're a bit more secure in yourself and can handle them better.

    How you create the bonds you form now act as sort of a template to how you deal with things later in life, and you don't want to be going through adult life wanting to run away for attention.

    You're still in school so concentrate on that for now, because you're using up a lot of emotional energy and creating a lot of drama around your relationship, and this isn't going to be of any benefit at all to you, long term. It's just going to distract you from what should be more important than everything else at the moment - working towards your future.

    It's ok not to have a boyfriend, and it's more than ok to concentrate on doing well in school. You won't be with your bf for the rest of your life, but the effort you put into developing as a person will be.

    Be kind to your mum too, she was young like you and she understands how you're feeling, believe it or not. It was very nice of her to try distract you, and you should appreciate that and not worry her with running away. Growing up is hard, but everyone does it!

    Best of luck :)


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