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advice if my boyfriend is gay..

  • 21-02-2012 1:25am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16


    Hey I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is gay just wondering if anyone can help me with the symtoms..... it's actually disgusting what i've seen him doing
    Tagged:


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    When you say disgusting what uv seen him doing what do you mean?


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,401 ✭✭✭✭x Purple Pawprints x


    Hey I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is gay just wondering if anyone can help me with the symtoms..... it's actually disgusting what i've seen him doing

    It's not a disease. What have you seen him doing?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    Shane St. wrote: »
    When you say disgusting what uv seen him doing what do you mean?

    I don't think its appropriate for here... it's just so ewww. Why would he be gay? Am I too ugly now or something I always make extra effort when I meet him :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    OP can you explain your relationship? Or you having intimacy issues or what? You are being a bit vague


  • Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭jay phelan


    symtoms

    Are you serious? Being gay is not an illness :mad:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Op, your boyfriends sexuality has nothing to do with you. It's not because he's suddenly not attracted to you.

    You need to talk to him about it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    jay phelan wrote: »
    Are you serious? Being gay is not an illness :mad:

    No no I like gay people and all I just think the certain things that happen aren't to my taste. And I'm nearly 100% certain that he has done it. I love him so much too I can't bring myself to ask him because I know in my heart it won't end well for me :( I care about him too much. Together 4 and a half years x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,061 ✭✭✭PickledLime


    Well if the guy is your boyfriend ie. someone who you are sharing your life with and should love unconditionally... maybe, i dunno, 'asking him' would be the best way to find out?

    And stating 'symtoms' [sic] is implying that it is a disease... you should really be more considerate in your phrasing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,537 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    moved to personal issues

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    No no I like gay people and all I just think the certain things that happen aren't to my taste. And I'm nearly 100% certain that he has done it. I love him so much too I can't bring myself to ask him because I know in my heart it won't end well for me :( I care about him too much. Together 4 and a half years x

    You have to talk to him. If you think things wont end well so be it. Honestly what is the point living a lie. YOU MUST TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    Well if the guy is your boyfriend ie. someone who you are sharing your life with and should love unconditionally... maybe, i dunno, 'asking him' would be the best way to find out?

    And stating 'symtoms' [sic] is implying that it is a disease... you should really be more considerate in your phrasing.

    If it was that easy I would have asked him by now


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    Shane St. wrote: »
    You have to talk to him. If you think things wont end well so be it. Honestly what is the point living a lie. YOU MUST TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT

    But how do I bring it up with him? I'm quite upset won't tell parents why maybe they know anyway this so embarassing


  • Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭jay phelan


    And I'm nearly 100% certain that he has done it.

    Nearly isn't definite. You have to speak to him about it because it's the only way to know. Asking for advice here isn't going to get you very far because you don't have all the facts yet.

    PickledLime is right, if you're planning on spending your life with him then you're going to have to sort this out with him and the only way to do that is to talk to him.

    I'm a bit confused though, being together nearly 5 years you should have no problem talking to him.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    You don't have to answer if you don't want to but can I ask and I presume it is. Is it a sexual relationship?? Is this why ur getting the idea he might be gay.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,061 ✭✭✭PickledLime


    If it was that easy I would have asked him by now

    Well if you're in a 4 year relationship and can't ask him something (granted, it is something big) then what validity does your relationship have in the first place? If ye really love each other it should be open, no secrets, unconditional.

    As stated by other posters, you need to ask him.

    If he is gay and your relationship is about to end, would you not prefer to hear it from his mouth in the privacy of his/your own home, than to get that information back second-hand?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    jay phelan wrote: »
    Nearly isn't definite. You have to speak to him about it because it's the only way to know. Asking for advice here isn't going to get you very far because you don't have all the facts yet.

    PickledLime is right, if you're planning on spending your life with him then you're going to have to sort this out with him and the only way to do that is to talk to him.

    I'm a bit confused though, being together nearly 5 years you should have no problem talking to him.

    I wish I could but I can't u don't understand and I don't blame u u guys are so helpful thanks x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    Well if you're in a 4 year relationship and can't ask him something (granted, it is something big) then what validity does your relationship have in the first place? If ye really love each other it should be open, no secrets, unconditional.

    As stated by other posters, you need to ask him.

    If he is gay and your relationship is about to end, would you not prefer to hear it from his mouth in the privacy of his/your own home, than to get that information back second-hand?

    but i love him so much he's so good to me he makes me sooo happy always taking me for dinner and shopping and things. i dont know what to say anymore. i think im in shock my whole world has frozen


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    Look at the end of the day all these decisions are hard. But you have to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are so worried about confronting your bf but it cud be nothing. I remember dreading and putting off for months coming out but once I did it was like OMG what was i worrying about.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    What has he done that's "disgusting"? And how old are you both do you mind me asking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,401 ✭✭✭✭x Purple Pawprints x


    OP if you don't talk to him and find out what's going on no matter what you do it's always going to be in the back of your mind. What's the point in living a lie just because it's embarrassing to you?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭jay phelan


    I wish I could but I can't u don't understand and I don't blame u u guys are so helpful thanks x

    If you can't talk to him about it then I don't think there's anything left to be said. You came here for advice and that is exactly what we've given you but if you can't use it then I don't think we can help you further.

    I would suggest you to evaluate your relationship and see if you're going on the path you want to. Communication is important and if you don't have that then how do you expect to sort through problems such as the one at hand?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    kraggy wrote: »
    What has he done that's "disgusting"? And how old are you both do you mind me asking.

    I thought I saw him fiddling while looking at laptop through gap in door then checked later and a pic of a guy model with a six pack was in his last viewed sites


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    I thought I saw him fiddling while looking at laptop through gap in door then checked later and a pic of a guy model with a six pack was in his last viewed sites

    I think thats a bit weak to go on. Look just talk to him


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16 Galwubliner


    Shane St. wrote: »
    I think thats a bit weak to go on. Look just talk to him

    no im quite sure


  • Registered Users Posts: 362 ✭✭SheFiend


    He could be bi ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭jay phelan


    no im quite sure

    There's just too many explanations to what you saw. I'm not sure what you want to here in this thread. Yes he might be gay, he might be bisexual, he might have been curious or he was really "fiddling" to straight porn and deleted that off the history and all that was left made it look that way.

    It's still not going to solve anything unless you talk to him.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Shane St.


    The fact he is looking at porn indicates their might be something wrong with the realtionship. Really OP You just have to talk to him. I'll say no more but every1 here is trying to help you


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,061 ✭✭✭PickledLime


    kraggy wrote: »
    And how old are you both do you mind me asking.

    I'm not being funny, but i'm curious about this too. The fact that you can't talk to him and that you define happiness as being 'taken for dinner and shopping', you don't sound very mature OP (no offence).

    Happiness to me with my missus is both of us being able to trust each other unconditionally, being able to share our highest highs and lowest lows, and most importantly, being able to talk to each other about anything, which again, is what you have to do.


  • Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,247 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    OP banned for trolling.

    Thread closed.


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