The Fathers Thread

Marty McFly · 01-10-2015 9:23am

So the better half gave birth to a little baby girl this morning at 5:46 labor kicked off at 1 when I was in work so had to abandon work and head home as her mother came to mind the little one.

Both mother and baby are doing great very proud of them both right now.

I'll be living in a house full of women I'm doomed :pac:

Home now for a few hours to get up and bring our 13 month old in to see her littler sister

adrenaline pumping hope I can sleep

brianblaze · 01-10-2015 11:53am

Congrats fella.

brianblaze · 01-10-2015 11:59am

Our little lady is 25 weeks in the oven now. Kicking like Bas Rutten in there at the moment which is totally blowing my mind. Put my hand on the wife's belly last night and am very surprised how hard she kicks about! Also felt her wee hiccups too, which was very cool

pooch90 · 01-10-2015 5:44pm

Our little one is 25 weeks too,kicking like mad. You can actually see my belly move, so weird! Keep expecting it to burst out Alien style. It's a nice time for the men now I think.

tempnam · 08-10-2015 1:45pm

Looking for some advice from people here who have a couple of kids, or are expecting their second.....

We've a 2 yr old and are expecting baby no 2 in a couple of months.

As mammy's belly began to grow we were telling our daughter (rightly or wrongly) that there's a baby in there and that she'll have a little brother or sister soon. at first she was a mixture of emotions depending on her mood (indifferent, excited, for it, against it! etc.)...

Recently though she has become very attached to mammy - and without any prompting she's bringing up the subject of the new baby..... saying she doesn't want one! She was never a 'clingy' baby and when we were going to work and dropping her off she would happily go into a family member's house who looks after her during the day. Recently though it's as if she's scared to let mammy out of her sight.

I'm worried at how upset she's getting over this. It's obviously playing on her mind as she keeps bringing it up. As soon as she woke up this morning her first words to my wife were 'I don't want a baby'. Recently also she seems to expect that whenever she is away from mammy that when she returns there will be a baby there!

So, should we keep at it, talking about the new baby (and have her thinking about it) or should we stop talking about it around her and try get her to forget about it until it happens?

Any advice greatly appreciated!

tobsey · 09-10-2015 10:08am

tempnam wrote: »

Looking for some advice from people here who have a couple of kids, or are expecting their second.....

We've a 2 yr old and are expecting baby no 2 in a couple of months.

As mammy's belly began to grow we were telling our daughter (rightly or wrongly) that there's a baby in there and that she'll have a little brother or sister soon. at first she was a mixture of emotions depending on her mood (indifferent, excited, for it, against it! etc.)...

Recently though she has become very attached to mammy - and without any prompting she's bringing up the subject of the new baby..... saying she doesn't want one! She was never a 'clingy' baby and when we were going to work and dropping her off she would happily go into a family member's house who looks after her during the day. Recently though it's as if she's scared to let mammy out of her sight.

I'm worried at how upset she's getting over this. It's obviously playing on her mind as she keeps bringing it up. As soon as she woke up this morning her first words to my wife were 'I don't want a baby'. Recently also she seems to expect that whenever she is away from mammy that when she returns there will be a baby there!

So, should we keep at it, talking about the new baby (and have her thinking about it) or should we stop talking about it around her and try get her to forget about it until it happens?

Any advice greatly appreciated!

Keep talking about it. She'll get used to it over time. Make a big deal of the fact that she is going to be a BIG SISTER. Encourage her to tell other people she's going to be a big sister and it might make it more exciting to her when she gets positive reactions from other people. Also when the new baby arrives and she goes in to visit mammy and baby, have a present in the crib in the hospital from the baby to the big sister. That will help her warm to the new arrival.

Also I wouldn't be too worried about her being more clingy when being left with other family members. It could be a coincidence that it has started happening since you told her about the new baby. It's very normal at that age. Our eldest used to go ballistic when being left in the creche at that age. Then when we'd go to collect her she wouldn't want to come home with us. Our second is two and he recently started freaking out when we go to leave. They grow out of it.

tHE vAGGABOND · 12-10-2015 12:12pm

[Posting this in two threads, I know that's bold, but wanted different points of view]

What do/did folks do about babies surname?

Mrs Vagga did not take my name, and that is zero drama [indeed, I don't think we ever even discussed it at the time]. But now Baby is joining us in a few weeks time. We have names we like for either a boy or girl, but what surname we use is interesting.

brianblaze · 12-10-2015 12:37pm

Mrs Blaze kept her surname but baby will have mine.

13 weeks til she arrives now!! Jaysus

Supercell · 12-10-2015 3:38pm

tHE vAGGABOND wrote: »

[Posting this in two threads, I know that's bold, but wanted different points of view]

What do/did folks do about babies surname?

Mrs Vagga did not take my name, and that is zero drama [indeed, I don't think we ever even discussed it at the time]. But now Baby is joining us in a few weeks time. We have names we like for either a boy or girl, but what surname we use is interesting.

My sister didn't take her husbands family name but her two kids do have their father surname. My sister said it just makes life easier with school and forms etc. My wife kept her name and uses mine so its now double barrelled if that makes sense.
Our kids have her family name and a Chinese name together as one word like "YangYi" as a second name (which they use when visiting family in China), only a Chinese person would realise it and my name as their Irish surname, now there's a solution to the problem you probably never considered!

Oh, and my wife's surname is taken from her grandmother to honour her! Over there women never take the husbands name but their kids usually take their fathers.

Pawwed Rig · 12-10-2015 7:38pm

I think it is a shame when families don't share a surname. Whether that be yours, hers or something else completely.

brianblaze · 12-10-2015 7:45pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I think it is a shame when families don't share a surname. Whether that be yours, hers or something else completely.

Why so? Isn't DNA enough to be sharing?

Pawwed Rig · 12-10-2015 7:59pm

brianblaze wrote: »

Why so? Isn't DNA enough to be sharing?

Personal preference.

Supercell · 12-10-2015 11:28pm

Number three may be on the way, herself thinks her labour may be starting (due date is Saturday so it's possible), she's like a demon getting the place ready for nana to look after the other two

tobsey · 13-10-2015 9:07am

Supercell wrote: »

Number three may be on the way, herself thinks her labour may be starting (due date is Saturday so it's possible), she's like a demon getting the place ready for nana to look after the other two

You could give her a hand you know.

Best of luck!

Supercell · 13-10-2015 9:12am

Turned out to be a false alarm - braxton hicks things, hopefully not another bout of hoovering at midnight again tonight!

Blingy · 14-10-2015 9:59pm

New baby in my house and just saw this....its pretty apt

http://theconsciouslyincompetentcamel.com/2013/03/19/wife-after-baby-a-husbands-guide/

tHE vAGGABOND · 15-10-2015 9:44am

HAHA that's brilliant [& Im now scared!!]

3 or 4 weeks to go and Im already seeing some of that

brianblaze · 02-12-2015 9:40pm

How we all holding up? Assume Vaggabond / Supercell are busy men?

tHE vAGGABOND · 03-12-2015 11:58am

Aengus joined us 3 weeks early, right at the start of November

I'm lucky to work for someone who gives two weeks paid paternity leave from work which was great. Everything is going splendid, and enjoying the whole process.

brianblaze · 03-12-2015 12:14pm

5 and half weeks to go here. Getting very excited!

Mc Love · 03-12-2015 1:13pm

tHE vAGGABOND wrote: »

Aengus joined us 3 weeks early, right at the start of November

I'm lucky to work for someone who gives two weeks paid paternity leave from work which was great. Everything is going splendid, and enjoying the whole process.

Doesnt everyone get that paternity leave now?

OH is in a breastfeeding class - which is meant to be great. We have all our pre-natal classes done...TG, although they were informative!

brianblaze · 03-12-2015 1:20pm

Did our antenatal classes in Kilkenny the last few weeks, were interesting but I think maybe they should be a bit careful in letting the person doing the classes push their own opinions on various things in the class.

I'm self employed and get no paternity leave. OH is and she gets maternity leave though

tobsey · 03-12-2015 1:45pm

Mc Love wrote: »

Doesnt everyone get that paternity leave now?

No. Not until September 2016.

We're at 25 weeks now so due in March. Mrs is doing well. She's still playing badminton but starting to feel the effects! She's going to stop playing after Christmas. We have three already so not too much to plan or do. Just counting down the weeks.

tHE vAGGABOND · 03-12-2015 1:53pm

No. Not until September 2016.

And even then I think it's still conditional, in terms they want to do it. I dont think its hard and fast yet..

Importantly, there is an election due between now and then. So that could make things much better or much worse depending on the horse trading around forming the next government.

Pawwed Rig · 08-12-2015 12:43am

Back again for round 2

Timed that paternity leave badly:mad:

08-12-2015 11:37pm

By chance I was reading up on paternity leave - the news reports from November mentioned something about an IT system to be put in place (which worries me that it'll be pushed out), and legislation is due next year (more worrying given the election). It mentions it can be taken up to 28 weeks from the birth of the child, and will be effective from September 2016.

The wording from citizensinformation is different - it says:

"Budget 2016: It was announced that statutory paternity leave of 2 weeks is to be introduced, together with a new Paternity Benefit, in respect of births from September 2016."

We're due June 2016 (round two - lost the first in August unfortunately), so it's something I've a keen eye on whether I can take two weeks after Sept 2016 or not!

toadfly · 08-12-2015 11:41pm

As far as I know it's babies due after Sept 2016 and it's statutory payment not paid wages amount. BUT election before then so who knows if it will happen or not.

tHE vAGGABOND · 09-12-2015 11:15am

For what it's worth, I am lucky to work in a company where I had two weeks fully paid paternity leave.

Even if you need to use vacation time it's really important, in terms of someone like me, a first-time dad. That time getting confidence in day to day stuff, it will serve you well in the middle of the night events over the months and years ahead

[let alone the fact that its nice, and fun, and an amazing experience to hang out together]

Calhoun · 09-12-2015 1:11pm

That sucks about the statutory payment of paternity leave, we are due middle of Jan so no luck this time around. Will have to use 2 weeks of leave but will be worth it.

brianblaze · 09-12-2015 4:21pm

Yeah as a self employed person I just have to close up shop for two weeks or that so it could be worse!

5 weeks to go now! Feels like no length ago we were looking at the test with the two lines and now we're so close!

The Fathers Thread

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