LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Wattle · 09-07-2013 10:50pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Spent the entire day inside, hiding from the sun and from other people. I'm supposed to be a month into my MSc dissertation but have got absolutely nothing done. Every night before I go to bed I say "tomorrow will be different"...then I inevitably sleep in for the day and get nothing done. I was supposed to have a meeting with my supervisor today but couldn't bear facing him with yet again no work to show. They know I'm having problems and have said I can apply for an extension but there's no guarantee I'd get it. If I don't, then I'm screwed....

That's also why I avoid going outside tbh. Seeing other people much better looking than me and with much better bodies than me makes me feel so self-conscious and ugly. Also the heat and the Efexor are making me sweat buckets constantly, I feel so uncomfortable. Starting to wonder if this damn medication is worth it; I'm on the maximum dose now and all it does is make me sweat constantly and make me drowsy at inopportune times. :mad::(

I was on Effexor as well for a while and I remember the sweating thing it was very embarrassing. I can't remember whether it was just a short term side effect or not but maybe you should report it to your G.P. and see what he says.

As for the other stuff? Well you remind me so much of me

. I used to try and sleep away the days and avoid people too. Seems tempting and feels like a soft option but the thing is that your workload is not going to go away and you will be living with a mounting sense of dread. It's going to get more and more forbidding. Seems to me from reading your post that you are deeply depressed and discouraged. My best advice to you would be to start slow and do one or two things that will give you a little boost. Us depressives are very black and white thinkers. We either go madly at something and exhaust ourselves or we do nothing at all. There is no point right now in you going madly at it because you are unwell but doing one or two small things will give you a small sense of achievement that you can then work on and build up.

So start small and do one or two little things to break your housebound isolation like scheduling a visit to your GP, or re-scheduling your meeting with your supervisor, or even something simple like walking to the shops. Try and ignore your persistent negative thoughts and just get out there come what may. Good luck

10-07-2013 3:55am

I appreciate all the kind words and advice but I feel like I'm rapidly running out of time. Getting any help from here won't work unless I put 100% of my effort into getting better, but I've put 100% of myself into stuff in the past and it has NEVER WORKED, so maybe I'm just someone who's doomed to failure. Maybe I'm just someone who' never gonna be good enough for anyone or anything.

People I used be friends with, but have lost touch with, are off living fantastic lives. People who have hurt me in the past have landed amazing opportunities. I could take you through my list of Facebook "friends" and come up with 100 reasons why every single person on that list is better than me. Why do I even fúcking try anymore? Everyone who's been my friend loses touch with me, even if I try and keep in touch with them. Everyone I've ever been in a relationship with has told me they loved me, and then gone onto change their mind and dump me. Everything I've touched on academically since finishing secondary school has turned to complete shít. My family shrug off everything I say by telling me I'm too hard on myself.....well why the fúck shouldn't I be hard on myself? I fúcking hate who I am and hate how other people interact with me; what are medication and CBT (if I ever actually get it) gonna do for me other than brainwash me into accepting that I'm a failure? I'm too cowardly to even self harm so no matter how bad things go, and how desperately I just want all this to end, I'm always gonna be too cowardly to attempt suicide, 'cause I'd just fúcking fail at that as well.

I'm not even drunk right now, though I desperately wish I was. Right now I've got zero hope, zero optimism, zero reason to believe things will ever get better no matter how hard I struggle. This, right here, is as close to rock bottom as I've ever been. And "the only way is up" isn't true, 'cause when you hit rock bottom there's nothing to say you won't get stuck there forever.

I just....I really really don't know what to do right now.

starling · 10-07-2013 11:16am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I appreciate all the kind words and advice but I feel like I'm rapidly running out of time. Getting any help from here won't work unless I put 100% of my effort into getting better, but I've put 100% of myself into stuff in the past and it has NEVER WORKED, so maybe I'm just someone who's doomed to failure. Maybe I'm just someone who' never gonna be good enough for anyone or anything.

Now, we both know you are smart enough to realise that this is illogical. So what if you've failed (by your own harsh measures) in the past? It doesn't mean you'll never succeed.
When you study probability they always say "Flip a coin and the probability of getting tails is 50%. If you flip a coin 20 times, what is the probability of getting tails on any given flip?" Answer: 50%. Because the previous flips have no effect on any flip. I have to stop saying "flip" now it's starting to lose all meaning:)

[Deleted User] wrote: »

People I used be friends with, but have lost touch with, are off living fantastic lives.

It doesn't matter. You will never be happy if you compare yourself to other people like this.
Be happy for them, but don't assume they don't have their own problems.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

People who have hurt me in the past have landed amazing opportunities.

Let it go. Holding grudges is only hurting you.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I could take you through my list of Facebook "friends" and come up with 100 reasons why every single person on that list is better than me. Why do I even fúcking try anymore?

You know that's not true. Even if you knew all about everyone, which you don't, "better than" is totally subjective. Your depression is making you think that. It's a false perception. You are just as good as anyone else. You happen to be suffering from an illness right now, that's all.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Everyone who's been my friend loses touch with me, even if I try and keep in touch with them. Everyone I've ever been in a relationship with has told me they loved me, and then gone onto change their mind and dump me.

If it weren't for your depression influencing your perception, you'd realise that this is just normal life. Yeah, it sucks sometimes. We go from spending all day with people for years and being very close, to having very little contact with them because everyone has gone their seperate ways. You and your friends are at that stage of life when you're all busy starting and building careers, relationships, basically making your own lives, and it's natural for people to lose touch at this time. We think it won't happen because modern technology makes it easier to communicate, but that's not the problem, it's simply that everyone is genuinely busy.

Often people get to reconnect at a later stage in life though. The pace of life tends to be faster in your twenties. Later on things calm down a bit.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Everything I've touched on academically since finishing secondary school has turned to complete shít. My family shrug off everything I say by telling me I'm too hard on myself.....well why the fúck shouldn't I be hard on myself? I fúcking hate who I am and hate how other people interact with me; what are medication and CBT (if I ever actually get it) gonna do for me other than brainwash me into accepting that I'm a failure? I'm too cowardly to even self harm so no matter how bad things go, and how desperately I just want all this to end, I'm always gonna be too cowardly to attempt suicide, 'cause I'd just fúcking fail at that as well.

A 2.2 is not complete ****. Failing every exam and dropping out of college after 6 months, you could probably call that ****, but getting a 2:2 is a significant achievement.
You can't see properly right now. Your depression is colouring how you perceive everything. CBT would help you to challenge this negative bias.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm not even drunk right now, though I desperately wish I was. Right now I've got zero hope, zero optimism, zero reason to believe things will ever get better no matter how hard I struggle. This, right here, is as close to rock bottom as I've ever been. And "the only way is up" isn't true, 'cause when you hit rock bottom there's nothing to say you won't get stuck there forever.

I just....I really really don't know what to do right now.

You can't stay at "rock bottom." because life is not static, change is constant and inevitable. Things will either get worse or they'll get better. This is something that you can influence greatly. The problem is not external things beyond your control but your own perception of and reaction to life's events. This is something that you and a therapist can change with CBT.

In the meantime concentrate on the things you can do, not the ones you can't. Don't waste time and bring yourself down by comparing yourself to others. The fact that you are not meeting your own high standards doesn't mean youre a failure. It means your standards are unrealistic. That's all.

delthedriver · 10-07-2013 11:50am

starling wrote: »

Now, we both know you are smart enough to realise that this is illogical. So what if you've failed (by your own harsh measures) in the past? It doesn't mean you'll never succeed.
When you study probability they always say "Flip a coin and the probability of getting tails is 50%. If you flip a coin 20 times, what is the probability of getting tails on any given flip?" Answer: 50%. Because the previous flips have no effect on any flip. I have to stop saying "flip" now it's starting to lose all meaning:)

It doesn't matter. You will never be happy if you compare yourself to other people like this.
Be happy for them, but don't assume they don't have their own problems.

Let it go. Holding grudges is only hurting you.

You know that's not true. Even if you knew all about everyone, which you don't, "better than" is totally subjective. Your depression is making you think that. It's a false perception. You are just as good as anyone else. You happen to be suffering from an illness right now, that's all.

If it weren't for your depression influencing your perception, you'd realise that this is just normal life. Yeah, it sucks sometimes. We go from spending all day with people for years and being very close, to having very little contact with them because everyone has gone their seperate ways. You and your friends are at that stage of life when you're all busy starting and building careers, relationships, basically making your own lives, and it's natural for people to lose touch at this time. We think it won't happen because modern technology makes it easier to communicate, but that's not the problem, it's simply that everyone is genuinely busy.

Often people get to reconnect at a later stage in life though. The pace of life tends to be faster in your twenties. Later on things calm down a bit.

A 2.2 is not complete ****. Failing every exam and dropping out of college after 6 months, you could probably call that ****, but getting a 2:2 is a significant achievement.
You can't see properly right now. Your depression is colouring how you perceive everything. CBT would help you to challenge this negative bias.

You can't stay at "rock bottom." because life is not static, change is constant and inevitable. Things will either get worse or they'll get better. This is something that you can influence greatly. The problem is not external things beyond your control but your own perception of and reaction to life's events. This is something that you and a therapist can change with CBT.

In the meantime concentrate on the things you can do, not the ones you can't. Don't waste time and bring yourself down by comparing yourself to others. The fact that you are not meeting your own high standards doesn't mean youre a failure. It means your standards are unrealistic. That's all.

Homer,

Come on man!

Starling summed it up very well.

Time to start taking small steps forward again.

We are all here wishing the very best for you.

Please keep us posted on your progress.

Very Best Wishes

Del

Drumpot · 10-07-2013 11:59am

Deleted User wrote: »

I appreciate all the kind words and advice but I feel like I'm rapidly running out of time. Getting any help from here won't work unless I put 100% of my effort into getting better, but I've put 100% of myself into stuff in the past and it has NEVER WORKED, so maybe I'm just someone who's doomed to failure. Maybe I'm just someone who' never gonna be good enough for anyone or anything.

People I used be friends with, but have lost touch with, are off living fantastic lives. People who have hurt me in the past have landed amazing opportunities. I could take you through my list of Facebook "friends" and come up with 100 reasons why every single person on that list is better than me. Why do I even fúcking try anymore? Everyone who's been my friend loses touch with me, even if I try and keep in touch with them. Everyone I've ever been in a relationship with has told me they loved me, and then gone onto change their mind and dump me. Everything I've touched on academically since finishing secondary school has turned to complete shít. My family shrug off everything I say by telling me I'm too hard on myself.....well why the fúck shouldn't I be hard on myself? I fúcking hate who I am and hate how other people interact with me; what are medication and CBT (if I ever actually get it) gonna do for me other than brainwash me into accepting that I'm a failure? I'm too cowardly to even self harm so no matter how bad things go, and how desperately I just want all this to end, I'm always gonna be too cowardly to attempt suicide, 'cause I'd just fúcking fail at that as well.

I'm not even drunk right now, though I desperately wish I was. Right now I've got zero hope, zero optimism, zero reason to believe things will ever get better no matter how hard I struggle. This, right here, is as close to rock bottom as I've ever been. And "the only way is up" isn't true, 'cause when you hit rock bottom there's nothing to say you won't get stuck there forever.

I just....I really really don't know what to do right now.

I can relate to a lot of what you write. I can only write what has worked for me and wouldn't begin to assume that I know what might work for you, so I hope this helps. What I write may or may not be relevant to your situation, so please don't take any of this as an insult or attack on you, its how I began to piece my life back together.

I have written many posts on here that show how my mood was at any given time over the last year or so. This year has been the one where I found a breakthrough in my life that has made my life not perfect but so much more then "just bearable".

I used to spend my time agonising over the thoughts of the life I wish I had and the life I felt I would never be able to enjoy. I presumed everybody else was happy or had it so much better then me. I spent so much time thinking about things, what else could I do to try and feel better?

I tried many things:

Councelling
Medication
Excercise
Other things I just prob cant remember right now

But in the end I found that by accepting a few simple things (well simple in theory) I was able to open up my life to a completely different outlook.

these are in no particular order and they didn't just "come" to me overnight. Its only in hindsight that I can look back on these things that I feel were imperative in me changing my perception of life, thus learning to live with my depression:

I accepted that I could not find an answer to my problems and decided that I needed to put my faith in somebody elses hands. I was so desperate and mentally wrecked by the time I went into therapy I would of been happy to go with the therapist if he had said I was a chicken. But in an odd way, this was kind of great because I didn't have to be the "master of the universe", I didn't have all the answers and was happy to get out of the driving seat of my life. It took a lot of pressure off me thinking that if I didn't have answers to my mental state nobody else did.
I accepted that my rehabilitation (whatever that was going to be) had to be the most important thing in my life. This is a key one. I wouldn't have excuses (haven't enough money, Im tired tonight to do work on myself, sure this will probably not work anyways so whats the point etc) getting in the way of my rehabilitation.
I accepted that I would have to work on myself and that this didn't mainly mean that I would spend days thinking about what I wanted or where I wanted to be. I wouldn't spend my time thinking about something I have never been able to understand or fix.

I talk with some people close to me who talk about their depression and in many ways I see them get stuck on the same level I was on for literally decades. It was only when I realised that I didn't have the answers and I couldn't help myself that I started to make progress.

I have had to accept serious things (that have changed my life) that aren't easy to accept, but I was so desperate to get well I was willing to do what it took to give myself a chance. This thing had been brought up decades ago, when I was younger but I wasn't ready to accept the truth back then, but desperate to enjoy life more, I was able to accept and so far overcome a huge roadblock that I never really knew was there.

I had to accept that it didn't matter if I thought or had decided something would definitely not work for me. This meant I wasn't opening my mind to different possibilities. I was copping out on self pity "sure it will work for everybody else but me" and never even trying anything to help myself.

I felt that I had tried everything, when it truth I had only really thought of trying things and come to the conclusion that they prob wouldn't work for me. As such, even if I tried them I did so in a manner that wasn't committing to the potential solution, I was simply looking for the quickest way of an exit (excuses etc).

Incidentally you have said things that make you come across as a bit of a perfectionist. I was shocked when my therapist said this of me. But if you think about it, a perfectionist is never happy with what they have, with where they are in life or where they think they are going. A perfectionist always thinks that things could be better and is never satisfied with any achievement (no matter how big/small). I did f**k all study in college in my depressed state and got a 2.2, now instead of thinking I was a lazy git who once again failed to give myself the opportunity to be the person "I know I can be", I think its a miracle I managed to pass the exam! Perception - exactly the same situation, different outlook.

I hope this helps. .

Wattle · 10-07-2013 12:16pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I appreciate all the kind words and advice but I feel like I'm rapidly running out of time. Getting any help from here won't work unless I put 100% of my effort into getting better, but I've put 100% of myself into stuff in the past and it has NEVER WORKED, so maybe I'm just someone who's doomed to failure. Maybe I'm just someone who' never gonna be good enough for anyone or anything.

People I used be friends with, but have lost touch with, are off living fantastic lives. People who have hurt me in the past have landed amazing opportunities. I could take you through my list of Facebook "friends" and come up with 100 reasons why every single person on that list is better than me. Why do I even fúcking try anymore? Everyone who's been my friend loses touch with me, even if I try and keep in touch with them. Everyone I've ever been in a relationship with has told me they loved me, and then gone onto change their mind and dump me. Everything I've touched on academically since finishing secondary school has turned to complete shít. My family shrug off everything I say by telling me I'm too hard on myself.....well why the fúck shouldn't I be hard on myself? I fúcking hate who I am and hate how other people interact with me; what are medication and CBT (if I ever actually get it) gonna do for me other than brainwash me into accepting that I'm a failure? I'm too cowardly to even self harm so no matter how bad things go, and how desperately I just want all this to end, I'm always gonna be too cowardly to attempt suicide, 'cause I'd just fúcking fail at that as well.

I'm not even drunk right now, though I desperately wish I was. Right now I've got zero hope, zero optimism, zero reason to believe things will ever get better no matter how hard I struggle. This, right here, is as close to rock bottom as I've ever been. And "the only way is up" isn't true, 'cause when you hit rock bottom there's nothing to say you won't get stuck there forever.

I just....I really really don't know what to do right now.

Homer man like Del says try and make some small steps. Forget about fixing your life entirely in one go because that's unrealistic. Ruminating on all this or getting drunk is not going to help anything. You have a choice in all this.

RossFixxxed · 11-07-2013 10:49am

I didn't even get a 2.2 in my degree. I'm definitely not some super handsome stud, or some silver tongued devil or anything, but I can appreciate beauty around me nonetheless. There's always someone smarter, more handsome, quicker, better and so on, comparing myself to a few people I deem as 'superior' is a quick road to madness IMHO.

What I'm saying is what the others said, it's your perspective that is marred by being depressed. It's what Albert Ellis (grandfather of CBT etc) called 'Musterbation'. Things should be fair, things must be right, I shold be happy.... It's not true. That's, unfortunately, not how life works. Good people die, crappy people do well, bad things happen at random. The more you try to make the world fit to your expectations the more you set yourslef up for a fall. Somethings are great, some are terrible and the only thing we can control is how we react and handle them.

I got that diagnosis recently, but I'm still super excited my office has free cakes today! Just because my world kind of stopped doesn't mean anyone else's does. It's knowing and accepting that that makes it easy.

You can't see things clearly at the moment, but keep up the conuncelling, cbt and whatever a professional recommends. There is always hope mate.

delthedriver · 11-07-2013 11:21am

RossFixxxed wrote: »

I didn't even get a 2.2 in my degree. I'm definitely not some super handsome stud, or some silver tongued devil or anything, but I can appreciate beauty around me nonetheless. There's always someone smarter, more handsome, quicker, better and so on, comparing myself to a few people I deem as 'superior' is a quick road to madness IMHO.

What I'm saying is what the others said, it's your perspective that is marred by being depressed. It's what Albert Ellis (grandfather of CBT etc) called 'Musterbation'. Things should be fair, things must be right, I shold be happy.... It's not true. That's, unfortunately, not how life works. Good people die, crappy people do well, bad things happen at random. The more you try to make the world fit to your expectations the more you set yourslef up for a fall. Somethings are great, some are terrible and the only thing we can control is how we react and handle them.

I got that diagnosis recently, but I'm still super excited my office has free cakes today! Just because my world kind of stopped doesn't mean anyone else's does. It's knowing and accepting that that makes it easy.

You can't see things clearly at the moment, but keep up the conuncelling, cbt and whatever a professional recommends. There is always hope mate.

Well said!

Where there is hope, there is life.

We must never lose hope:)

efb · 11-07-2013 11:21am

Awful day today

delthedriver · 11-07-2013 11:34am

efb wrote: »

Awful day today

Chill ax! Try and get outdoors , enjoy the sunshine.

Even if you don't enjoy the heat and sun find a nice shaded place to sit , look around you and observe nature at work. Watch the bees as they busily go about their business.

With for the light fluffy clouds and park your sad thoughts in the middle of them and let it all float away.

It is great to be alive.

Just take very good care of yourself.

Spoil yourself, some ice tea, fruit, and or ice cream. Why not all?

It is the simple pleasures which can make one happier.

Today may be tough for you, let it pass , tomorrow will be better.

These low moments always pass.:)

efb · 11-07-2013 11:44am

delthedriver wrote: »

Chill ax! Try and get outdoors , enjoy the sunshine.

Even if you don't enjoy the heat and sun find a nice shaded place to sit , look around you and observe nature at work. Watch the bees as they busily go about their business.

With for the light fluffy clouds and park your sad thoughts in the middle of them and let it all float away.

It is great to be alive.

Just take very good care of yourself.

Spoil yourself, some ice tea, fruit, and or ice cream. Why not all?

It is the simple pleasures which can make one happier.

Today may be tough for you, let it pass , tomorrow will be better.

These low moments always pass.:)

Thanks Del- left work in park relaxing waiting for nurse to call

Call Me Jimmy · 11-07-2013 1:33pm

RossFixxxed wrote: »

I'm definitely not some super handsome stud, or some silver tongued devil or anything, but I can appreciate beauty around me nonetheless.

You are lucky, in my opinion that's one of the keys to contentment! Before I went into hospital the worst time I was going manic from ONLY taking in beauty. There was almost no internal monologue, no judging of what I was seeing and hearing. Art came alive. Every person was a new person when I saw them. Truly, appreciating beauty outside of yourself (because you can't really objectify 'yourself' and attempting to grinds on your consciousness), appreciating beauty outside yourself will keep you deeply satisfied.

It will be a great day when I re-realise in the most positive way possible that other things are beautiful. I miss appreciating art, I hope to again.

delthedriver · 11-07-2013 1:50pm

efb wrote: »

Thanks Del- left work in park relaxing waiting for nurse to call

Well done! That is taking care of yourself. Delighted for you.:):)

delthedriver · 11-07-2013 2:06pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

You are lucky, in my opinion that's one of the keys to contentment! Before I went into hospital the worst time I was going manic from ONLY taking in beauty. There was almost no internal monologue, no judging of what I was seeing and hearing. Art came alive. Every person was a new person when I saw them. Truly, appreciating beauty outside of yourself (because you can't really objectify 'yourself' and attempting to grinds on your consciousness), appreciating beauty outside yourself will keep you deeply satisfied.

It will be a great day when I re-realise in the most positive way possible that other things are beautiful. I miss appreciating art, I hope to again.

Jimmy, you reminded me about art.

I dabble a little in acrylics, it helps take my mind away to a different place altogether. My advice to everyone, whether it is dabbling in oils , poster paint,, crayons, or sketching with a pencil , just do it!

It is amazing how by concentrating one's mind how it becomes easier to leave the Depression parked in the garage for a couple of hours.

With this lovely weather, bring a pencil and notebook out to the garden and see how many plants , flowers , bumble bees one can sketch in a couple of hours.
Even being outdoors and feeling the warmth of the sunshine can be quite therapeutic

Del:)

efb · 11-07-2013 6:52pm

Felt better after. Went back after lunch. Delighted I went back in

delthedriver · 11-07-2013 7:05pm

efb wrote: »

Felt better after. Went back after lunch. Delighted I went back in

Well done!:)

delthedriver · 12-07-2013 11:23am

Hi Folks,

Another gorgeous day to day. Temperatures in High 20's.

If you are feeling below par, get out into your favourite part of the garden,park or beach and enjoy yourself.

Watch all the magical things going on around you.

Chill ax and spoil yourself.

Best wishes,

Del

Randomfriend · 13-07-2013 5:03am

This is a lovely topic, it's nice to know you're not alone sometimes.

delthedriver · 13-07-2013 4:35pm

Randomfriend wrote: »

This is a lovely topic, it's nice to know you're not alone sometimes.

You are most definitely not alone.
We are all soldiers fighting the same enemy,Depression.

Cliona99 · 16-07-2013 11:46am

I just ate breakfast for the first time in months! I feel like Superwoman!

(The pills I'm on killed my appetite, (but stopped me from killing myself), so I don't usually bother eating until late even though I know it's bad for me and my mood).

Call Me Jimmy · 16-07-2013 12:38pm

Things are looking slightly up for me. Some interest from a girl reminds me I have a pulse but I feel like my personality has taken quite a hit throughout this battle. I used to have no problem having a good time, being witty, fun and funny. I feel like a bit of a blank canvas when it comes to conversation these days, I just have neglected social interaction for too long while I have been struggling.

I was reading online 'steps to regain your sense of humour', which in itself is funny. I really would like to be able to relax and have a laugh again.

delthedriver · 16-07-2013 3:09pm

Cliona99 wrote: »

I just ate breakfast for the first time in months! I feel like Superwoman!

(The pills I'm on killed my appetite, (but stopped me from killing myself), so I don't usually bother eating until late even though I know it's bad for me and my mood).

Diet is a very important part of dealing with Depression.

At one stage I attended an appointment with a Dietician in The Hermitage Clinic in Dublin.

Three meals per day are very important to help the body and mind function.

Consider running on an empty stomach to running your car with the fuel warning light flashing........eventually the car stops , and the fuel system sucks in all the crud from the bottom of the tank!!

Been there don't want to go back there again.:)

delthedriver · 16-07-2013 3:13pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Things are looking slightly up for me. Some interest from a girl reminds me I have a pulse but I feel like my personality has taken quite a hit throughout this battle. I used to have no problem having a good time, being witty, fun and funny. I feel like a bit of a blank canvas when it comes to conversation these days, I just have neglected social interaction for too long while I have been struggling.

I was reading online 'steps to regain your sense of humour', which in itself is funny. I really would like to be able to relax and have a laugh again.

It may sound a bit corny, however when my mood is low and I need a good laugh, watching episodes of Del Boy, only fools and horses ,help lift my mood.

Always worth a try:)

JupiterKid · 16-07-2013 3:56pm

My anxiety got very bad towards the end of last week and, shamefully, I fell into another drinking binge bender at the weekend.

However, I managed to stop the bender and picked myself up. I'm on new medication (a low dose of anti-psychotics) which is making be feel pretty drowsy. I slept for 12 hours last night but had a pretty bad series of nightmares.

Today I feel a good bit better. I'm going to go to the pool for a swim and afterwards do a bit of creative writing, followed by reading. Hopefully I will restart the pottery I have been doing as I think I have a bit of a talent in this craft. Working with one's hands is so therapeutic for anxiety sufferers as it encourages mindfulness and being in the now.

Doctor_Socks · 16-07-2013 4:19pm

I lost my father to a heart attack yesterday, he was completely healthy and had just given me a lift home after he finished work and had been at the gym, my brother found him on the floor of the house and I gave him cpr until doctors arrived but he couldn't be saved. The emts and doctor were fantastic and deserve recognition for their efforts

My father was the first person I confided in with my depression and he was always supportive of me through every thing I did in life, I still can't believe he's gone as he was only 55 and was never sick as I was growing up, he always seed invincible to all of us at home. One of my few wishes in life was for him to see me graduate as I knew how proud he was that I was due to finish my phd next year. I don't really know how I'm supposed to react, my friends and family have been great and have helped us with everything so far and have comforted me with stories of how my father was at my age and when he was growing up in his parents house before starting a family and turning our house into a home

I love my father with every ounce of my being and I'll never forget him. This thread has helped me so much in the past and I know it will always be here in the future to help me through everything else I encounter in life, thank you to everyone here

Call Me Jimmy · 16-07-2013 4:45pm

JupiterKid wrote: »

My anxiety got very bad towards the end of last week and, shamefully, I fell into another drinking binge bender at the weekend.

However, I managed to stop the bender and picked myself up. I'm on new medication (a low dose of anti-psychotics) which is making be feel pretty drowsy. I slept for 12 hours last night but had a pretty bad series of nightmares.

Today I feel a good bit better. I'm going to go to the pool for a swim and afterwards do a bit of creative writing, followed by reading. Hopefully I will restart the pottery I have been doing as I think I have a bit of a talent in this craft. Working with one's hands is so therapeutic for anxiety sufferers as it encourages mindfulness and being in the now.

That sounds really good. It also takes a lot of discipline to make a start at things when you're so tired/drowsy. I am looking to working with my hands again myself with clay.

If you can keep these kind of activities up you'll be doing very well indeed.

delthedriver · 16-07-2013 7:33pm

Doctor_Socks wrote: »

I lost my father to a heart attack yesterday, he was completely healthy and had just given me a lift home after he finished work and had been at the gym, my brother found him on the floor of the house and I gave him cpr until doctors arrived but he couldn't be saved. The emts and doctor were fantastic and deserve recognition for their efforts

My father was the first person I confided in with my depression and he was always supportive of me through every thing I did in life, I still can't believe he's gone as he was only 55 and was never sick as I was growing up, he always seed invincible to all of us at home. One of my few wishes in life was for him to see me graduate as I knew how proud he was that I was due to finish my phd next year. I don't really know how I'm supposed to react, my friends and family have been great and have helped us with everything so far and have comforted me with stories of how my father was at my age and when he was growing up in his parents house before starting a family and turning our house into a home

I love my father with every ounce of my being and I'll never forget him. This thread has helped me so much in the past and I know it will always be here in the future to help me through everything else I encounter in life, thank you to everyone here

Doctor Socks,

Please accept my sincerest condolences on the sudden passing of your Dad

This is a very difficult time for both you and your family.

Your father was obviously a very good man and I am certain was very proud of you and your achievements.

Unfortunately he won't be there next year to witness your PHD graduation, but I believe he will be there in your memory on the day. Perhaps you may even dedicate your PHD to your Dad's memory.

It is a very sad time when one loses a parent suddenly to a heart attack. I know because I lost my father in 2005 due to a heart attack. There is a massive sense of disbelief, loss, numbness, all of which you must deal with over the coming days initially and then beyond.

At this point all you can do is to be there for the rest of your family, and support each other as your Dad would expect you.

Over the coming days you will learn further examples of how kind your Dad was to others as well, be they colleagues, friends, school friends. Yes he was a very special person who touched the hearts of many people.

Remember your friends here on Boards will be thinking about you and your family over the coming days, and will be here for you also in the future.

Meanwhile please take great care of yourself , just as your Dad would wish for you.

Very Sincerely,

Del

JupiterKid · 17-07-2013 1:02am

Doctor Socks - sincere condolences on the loss of your father. I lost my mother when I was 15 to a sudden, massive heart attack. She was only 46 years of age.

There is no "right" or "proper" way to grieve. Everyone deals with death and loss in their own way. But the fact that you have made great strides to accomplish such a lofty goal as a PhD is surely something your father would have been very proud of. Keep well!

MickFleetwood · 17-07-2013 1:31am

I'm beginning to wonder if my depression stems from my constant sense of boredom.

delthedriver · 17-07-2013 1:35am

MickFleetwood wrote: »

I'm beginning to wonder if my depression stems from my constant sense of boredom.

Perhaps? Have you spoken with your GP?

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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