Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

stupidusername · 02-02-2012 11:30pm

i'll look into these other options first, and see if I could afford them.

cloud493 · 02-02-2012 11:33pm

Pieta house is free

stupidusername · 02-02-2012 11:34pm

I know, but I dunno, there's something not sitting right with me about it.

cloud493 · 02-02-2012 11:46pm

No harm in trying is there

one appointment. You chat with a lady first, to see what your problems are, your assigned a counsellor. If you don't like them, you give them a bell, don't have to go again.

stupidusername · 02-02-2012 11:47pm

i'll think about it so

thrilledskinny · 02-02-2012 11:47pm

fintonagirl wrote: »

I'm quite interested in what's been said about rising anxiety levels and lessening signs of depression. while i feel very lethargic and unmotivated I'm not feeling particularly sad or hopeless at the moment but definitely more anxious. Though I am very early days with medication so it maybe can't be related to that in my case.

Hi ya, i double checked this link between depression/anxxiety/ meds with my doc after thinking there was some link myself and then seeing people on here expierencing the same...

and well....he said there is esp at the start of meds a tendancy to feel anxious, they are designed that way so that instead of feeling lethargic and unmotivate the raised anxiety levels boost us and get us up and moving !!

Well I guess thats the idea! but i must admit like a lot of ye my raise anxiety levels seem to stop me from doing things as much as my depression does....i think sometimes i'd prefer lethargy !! I'm not sure at this stage ??

I liked your piece Nesf btw on how our brains work, and how normally the flight or fight symptoms are normal,
but like others here with me the 'flight/fear' thing thats in my mind re things like work or going out of the house seem to be linked to god knows what, like 'phi' suggested i was even wondering today was it linked back to a previous life or just a previous thing that happened me that i cant remember? why do i have this irrational but real fear?

Has any one tried hypnosis, i'm really considering it ??

BTW crunchyogurt, I'm a little bit older than you and have expierenced what ur going through and i have survived that thing that is trying to 'destroy us' all.
While i seem to be back in the same place now over ten years later, with work this time instead of college, i hope like us all on here that you continue to fight it.
College isnt worth worring about really, mind yourself, easier said than done i know.
best of luck ...

thrilledskinny · 02-02-2012 11:55pm

I wish someone could actually help me:

resign from my job, and have not enough money to pay my mortgage monthly

or

be driven demented and to the point of distraction daily trying to fight the irrational but real fear of going to work ????

and then beat myself up and feel so inferior to the rest of the world because i cant do the thing that every one else does so easily and has to do to survive -'work'

Gillo · 03-02-2012 12:05am

thrilledskinny wrote: »

I liked your piece Nesf btw on how our brains work, and how normally the flight or fight symptoms are normal,
but like others here with me the 'flight/fear' thing thats in my mind re things like work or going out of the house seem to be linked to god knows what, like 'phi' suggested i was even wondering today was it linked back to a previous life or just a previous thing that happened me that i cant remember? why do i have this irrational but real fear?

best of luck ...

You could try doing past life regression, although there are a hell of a lot of sceptics out there, I was curious to try it myself a few years back, although that was before my depression started.

On a completely different note, has anyone here taken Nitric Oxide supplements?
I'm asking because I went through two phases of taking it (not knocking the stuff it does work for what it's meant to do) but both times I used it regularly for a few months I ended up with really bad depressive episodes. I did a search on google and there are a fair few questions being asked but nothing conclusive?

nesf · 03-02-2012 12:10am

thrilledskinny wrote: »

but like others here with me the 'flight/fear' thing thats in my mind re things like work or going out of the house seem to be linked to god knows what, like 'phi' suggested i was even wondering today was it linked back to a previous life or just a previous thing that happened me that i cant remember? why do i have this irrational but real fear?

Yeah, well that's the kind of question you need to thrash out with a therapist really. The psychoanalytic school would hold that it's some early childhood event that is at the root cause of one's anxiety or depression (or at least it used to, I'm not familiar with current thinking in the area). The CBT school would hold that it's caused by present thinking patterns and behaviour not necessarily always a past event (though it does not discount these as factors, it just doesn't assume they're always the reason).

Then I'm not a psychologist and you'd get a better answer over on the psychology forum.

03-02-2012 12:35am

nesf wrote: »

Yeah, well that's the kind of question you need to thrash out with a therapist really. The psychoanalytic school would hold that it's some early childhood event that is at the root cause of one's anxiety or depression (or at least it used to, I'm not familiar with current thinking in the area). The CBT school would hold that it's caused by present thinking patterns and behaviour not necessarily always a past event (though it does not discount these as factors, it just doesn't assume they're always the reason).

Then I'm not a psychologist and you'd get a better answer over on the psychology forum.

For me I'm quite certain that it's the way I was treated at school which made me as I am now.

nesf · 03-02-2012 12:49am

Karsini wrote: »

For me I'm quite certain that it's the way I was treated at school which made me as I am now.

Indeed this applies to many. The question is whether it's always the case that it's some childhood event that is the cause of how we are now. My depressions started really early, pre-teens and honestly my childhood was pretty uneventful. I was always pretty introverted and stuff but I was happy that way without other people and just wanted to be left to my own devices.

03-02-2012 1:08am

nesf wrote: »

Indeed this applies to many. The question is whether it's always the case that it's some childhood event that is the cause of how we are now. My depressions started really early, pre-teens and honestly my childhood was pretty uneventful. I was always pretty introverted and stuff but I was happy that way without other people and just wanted to be left to my own devices.

I wasn't always introverted myself, I used to talk to anyone about almost anything. As the years went on I became more and more alone but it wasn't until I was 15 that a life-changing depressive pattern set in.

scrimshanker · 03-02-2012 1:16am

been working up to posting here all evening. trying to be proactive. if i don't write down how I feel, I seem to forget, which makes counselling even more difficult than it probably needs to be. I'm now midway between appointments with the college counsellor. Next one will be my 3rd appointment. I think I might need to have a proper chat with her next time and try be a bit more forthcoming. I never seem able to say the hard stuff... is it ok to write stuff and hand it to them instead of having to say it? Also, when I get nervous I smile. I don't know why, it's really inappropriate at times but I just do so I think I"m coming across as reasonably happy, if a bit intense.

today was hard. woke up wanting to die. had to be up way too early. had an outpatient appointment for something else today, which was a whole lot harder than I thought it would be. I was feeling awful but the nurse was so friendly and so nice and I seem very receptive to that kind of thing, if someone smiles, I generally smile, even if it's sapping every last bit of energy out of me. So there I sat like a grinning fcuking idiot getting more and more upset with I guess anxiety levels rising exponentially, figiting and twitching like a fupping nutter and then I got sent off for blood tests.

Blood tests. I am normally fine with needles. Like, no issues at all. But I was so damned worked up I think I looked like I was going to cry (not far from the truth) and then THAT nurse was being so nice and was very kind and all I wanted to do was beg her to please just help me. It doesn't help that phlebotomy was right in view of the sign for psychiatry and I just kept thinking that someone there could make me better. I want someone to please fix me. But I'm not a self harmer and I'm not suicidal so they'd turn me away and then I was thinking maybe if I grabbed something sharp, ran down there and slit my wrists open they'd have to notice me. Why is my pain so invisible? It hurts so bad. I tried dropping hints about how unhappy I am but I think they were picked up as being a result of my day being poked and prodded. Then I passed A&E, but that's a 100 euro charge straight up, which I don't have. Plus, like I'm really not that bad. I'm not in any life threatening situation. No need for me to run crying to the nice people in A&E.

Then I went to college/work (I'm a postgrad student) (yay, finally made it in for a change. ugh) and I just ended up feeling sick the whole time there. so I left after an hour or so. Then came home and wrapped myself in a duvet and sat on an armchair. I had food though.

In successes of the day though, I once again got through the rigmarole of showering and drying my hair afterwards. And managed to type all this. And ate more than a bowl of soup.

I just can't help feeling like I'm making up how bad I feel. Like as if I should be able to say "Cop the F on" to myself and just pull myself out of it. What the hell is wrong with me that I can't just have a bit of self discipline and get over my non issues???

I've been trying to do what my counsellor suggests, but it's so hard. If I can't get out of bed til after 4 in the afternoon unless I've something pressingly urgent before that, how the hell am I supposed to exercise more? Like, all her suggestions make sense but I don't know how I can follow them because they all take an amount of energy and concentration that I just don't have. It's such a vicious cycle and that in itself is getting me even more down. I'm also sick of myself. I am so sick of hearing my own voice pestering me in my own head. Why can't I leave myself alone. Instead no, I keep annoying myself with really really annoying and persistent "I want to die"s. :mad:

nesf · 03-02-2012 1:21am

scrimshanker wrote: »

is it ok to write stuff and hand it to them instead of having to say it?

First well done on posting. Second, it's absolutely ok to write the stuff out and hand it in. I've been told to do this more than once.

Aoifums · 03-02-2012 1:34am

I was wondering something earlier and I meant to ask, so I hope someone here can let me know. For people who suffer from panic attacks, are you anxious all/most of the time or is it just then? Because I'm permenantly anxious but I don't have panic attacks. I've had three or four panic attacks in the last six/seven years and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy! I'm just kinda curious so sorry if I'm coming across as rude or anything.

03-02-2012 1:38am

Aoifums wrote: »

I was wondering something earlier and I meant to ask, so I hope someone here can let me know. For people who suffer from panic attacks, are you anxious all/most of the time or is it just then? Because I'm permenantly anxious but I don't have panic attacks. I've had three or four panic attacks in the last six/seven years and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy! I'm just kinda curious so sorry if I'm coming across as rude or anything.

I go through periods of anxiety - at one point it lasted four months! I was convinced it might be a stomach ulcer but it was severe anxiety due to my personal situation at the time. Despite this, I have only ever had one panic attack.

nesf · 03-02-2012 1:40am

Aoifums wrote: »

I was wondering something earlier and I meant to ask, so I hope someone here can let me know. For people who suffer from panic attacks, are you anxious all/most of the time or is it just then? Because I'm permenantly anxious but I don't have panic attacks. I've had three or four panic attacks in the last six/seven years and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy! I'm just kinda curious so sorry if I'm coming across as rude or anything.

I got a few many years ago, none since despite being very anxious.

*shrugs*

I don't consider myself as having a serious anxiety problem though just anxiety on top of the depression.

Seren_ · 03-02-2012 10:34am

@scrimshanker - counsellors will have no problem with you writing down how you feel and giving it to them, don't worry. Have you thought about making an appointment to see the doctor or anything? *hug*

i really want to hurt myself today. And it's my own fault because I keep thinking of things that other people have (like relationships and being happy) and I want those things too, but it'll never happen. I just want to do something, but don:t know what.

Temaz · 03-02-2012 12:39pm

Had to get some Tramadol for pain, should make my weekend a bit easier.

scrimshanker · 03-02-2012 12:44pm

Your Text Here wrote: »

@scrimshanker - counsellors will have no problem with you writing down how you feel and giving it to them, don't worry. Have you thought about making an appointment to see the doctor or anything? *hug*

Not sure about the doctor thing. I'm in 2 minds about it, there's one side of me says a doctor can't do anything to help at all really. I don't want a diagnosis of anything as I'm hoping this will go away and leave me alone and then I can get on with my life and go for the career I want, which would be precluded if I had any sort of mental illness. So I'm absolutely terrified to go to the doctor. Then the other part of me wants to feel better and I want to do what my counsellor says but I can't cos even though I know it would help, I don't have the energy for it. Can doctors prescribe without giving out a diagnosis? I want something to kill this feeling and make me better.

nesf · 03-02-2012 1:50pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

Not sure about the doctor thing. I'm in 2 minds about it, there's one side of me says a doctor can't do anything to help at all really. I don't want a diagnosis of anything as I'm hoping this will go away and leave me alone and then I can get on with my life and go for the career I want, which would be precluded if I had any sort of mental illness. So I'm absolutely terrified to go to the doctor. Then the other part of me wants to feel better and I want to do what my counsellor says but I can't cos even though I know it would help, I don't have the energy for it. Can doctors prescribe without giving out a diagnosis? I want something to kill this feeling and make me better.

The diagnosis isn't that important compared to getting better. You might get one, and only one, depression in your life and still get a diagnosis of depression. You might have had a few episodes of depression in the past, finally get a diagnosis and then never get another episode. You can't know what'll happen going forward. The diagnosis doesn't predict that you'll automatically get recurrent depressions and have serious problems due to this. It also doesn't change anything, you're as sick before the diagnosis as you are after it and it doesn't change the odds of you getting ill again in the future! All that happens is that you've a name for why you feel so crap.

A doctor can give you drugs, they can also refer you on to a psychologist for CBT/MBCT/whatever. Both approaches help with depression.

Focus on getting better first, your career second. The two usually go hand in hand but ignoring the former for the sake of the latter is a recipe for disaster.

stupidusername · 03-02-2012 4:55pm

well of the two places the psych told me to look into, one isn't offering low cost counselling services anymore due to massive demand, and the other one goes on about a 'christian ethos'

stupidusername · 03-02-2012 5:20pm

right i've decided i'm going to find a CBT therapist and pay for it. it's gonna take a big chunk of my money to do it, but i need to do it. i screw things up for myself all the time, and i'm sick of it. sick of feeling sorry for myself, sick of getting nowhere. it seems most only go for 6-8 weeks anyway so if that's the case I could manage that kinda money from my savings.

HalloweenJack · 03-02-2012 5:21pm

Worst day in a long time. Just got home from work and went straight to bed. I only slept an hour last night, I spent the rest of the time worrying about something I have no control over whatsoever, yet second-handedly impacts on me.

Don't think I'll be out of bed 'til Monday morning.

Kaching · 03-02-2012 5:40pm

HalloweenJack wrote: »

I spent the rest of the time worrying about something I have no control over whatsoever, yet second-handedly impacts on me.
.

I think like that alot too

starviewadams · 03-02-2012 5:56pm

I've pretty much given up on things over the last week or two,haven't been going into work or even ringing them to tell them why,they're still paying me though which is nice.Basically not been able to drag myself out of bed til 1 or 2pm most days,I then just sit around alternating between crying like a pathetic sap or thinking about self harming.I then usually pluck up the courage to go to the local shop to buy the cheapest drink I can find,and then drink that until I fall asleep.

Temaz · 03-02-2012 6:12pm

Im just about surviving at the moment!

Kaching · 03-02-2012 6:28pm

Temaz wrote: »

Im just about surviving at the moment!

same here

nesf · 03-02-2012 7:51pm

Bad day here too, most of it spent pacing up and down the hall because I can't sit down for longer than 10 minutes.

Aoifums · 03-02-2012 8:26pm

I'm joining the list of bad days too. Better than yesterday but almost anything would be better than yesterday.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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