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'Fag' and 'that's so gay' -- do they bother you?

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Comments

  • #32
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    Slang_Tang wrote: »
    Why?
    that's a deceptively complex question.

    I like what it does. It's a bit like when my blind friend says to me "I'll see you later" or I, to him.
    It's something that works on lots of different levels, depending on who is saying it, and what or who they're saying it about.


  • #33
    Coeurdepirate
    Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate


    If someone calls me a fag or whatever in a malicious way I hate it and I get really angry.

    I don't mind it being used in joking contexts, derogatory or not. I also don't mind 'that's so gay', I've said it myself on occasion.
    I sort of feel like as a gay man it should irk me and I'll probably get loads of "oh it's so homophobic" on here but honestly, I couldn't give a shíte.


  • #34
    WillySignaigo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭WillySignaigo


    Disgraceful, having relocated to Mississipi in 04 from Roscrea area where gays were beat out the door, really shows the state of our country. Moving home in the next few months, v. excited to see my family again, Darnell, Hollis and Bubba send their love!


  • #35
    wongus69
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 27 ✭wongus69


    WillySignaigo wrote: »
    Disgraceful, having relocated to Mississipi in 04 from Roscrea area where gays were beat out the door, really shows the state of our country. Moving home in the next few months, v. excited to see my family again, Darnell, Hollis and Bubba send their love!

    Yes I couldn't agree more,the Roscrea area was none too welcoming. I thoroughly enjoy the Dublin scene, W.A.R is my outlet!!


  • #36
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,237 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    It's honestly always depended on the context of how it's said.

    If said with a malicious tone or in spite/anger, then I possibly would.


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  • #37
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Not trying to ruin the party, peeps, but keep the flirting off thread, cheers!


  • #38
    tinyk68
    Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭tinyk68


    My daughter is friends with a boy who's 16 and openly gay (not easy in rural Ireland) and he was recently called a ****** by one of the group of friends. They were all offended by it and told the person in question he was not welcome in the group if he continued to use the word. I think it is offensive because it is usually used in a derogatory way. It is used as an insult


  • #39
    BAM!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭BAM!!!


    Words mean nothing. What's more important is the sentiment behind them...


  • #40
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    agrees with Bam(!!!).

    80% of the time it's not the word, but the sentiment behind it.


  • #41
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,787 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2012/0317/1224313472657.html

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • #42
    Gav.80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Gav.80


    interesting article, 2 many young people use offensive terms like that, If you have friends that use those terms just stop hanging around with them, no need to let their negativity get u down


  • #43
    allydylan
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭allydylan


    i find the phrase "that's so gay" annoying if anything

    but i hate the word fag, particularly when the word is used in its full. I just thing its a disgusting word


  • #44
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    "Thats so gay" doesn't bother me in the slightest because its just a saying, and even I say it sometimes. But fag and queer bother me because I only hear them when someone is negatively talking about gay people.


  • #45
    gavkm27
    Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭gavkm27


    does'nt bother me in the slighest,in fact my straight friends use to say 'thats so gay,no offence gavan' and later it got to 'thats so gay OFFENCE gavan'
    i usually remark about how hot their Dad is and it usually shuts them up lol:D


  • #46
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,787 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxs78C3XGok&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #47
    ewan whose army
    Registered Users Posts: 484 ✭✭ewan whose army


    F** Yes , Thats So Gay no


  • #48
    Awake&Unafraid
    Registered Users Posts: 96 ✭✭Awake&Unafraid


    I hate the word f****t, probably because its a word that was directed at me a lot in school.

    Also I dont really like the word queer. I know it's been reclaimed by the lgbt community and all that but I have a lot of memories of being called a queer (even more so than f*****)and it hurt a lot when I was younger. I guess my dislike for that word will take a while to go away.


  • #49
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    I've no time for people who use the f*g word.

    If it's not meant to be offensive, you can still easily pick another substitute word to use. A word like that can cause a lot of discomfort for people and should be avoided, and you can tell a lot about a person if they use it quite casually.


  • #50
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    I liken it to using the word 'retarded'. Yes, it's 'just' a word, but it hurts some people. So if it does, you shouldn't use it. Simples.


  • #51
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,606 ✭✭✭Rick_


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS0GVOQPs0


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  • #52
    Emz93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭Emz93


    That's so gay never used to bother me, my friends say it around me all the time and even I use it sometimes, I know the context in which they're saying it and it isn't meant in an offensive way towards gay people at all...having said that one friend once ended up describing people who don't do a certain thing as "so gay" and then continued on to say "I hate gay people". Kinda shocked me as it was just me and her and she knows i'm not straight, was the first person I came out to and was incredibly supportive! I know that she meant no offence by it but it still bothered me that she thought it's okay to say that, whether to me or anyone else. Ever since then i've taken note of how often she says "that's so gay" and it's starting to get on my nerves a bit..dunno why, just her saying that really got to me! I may have to say something to her if she says it again!


  • #53
    Absoluvely
    Registered Users Posts: 1,317 ✭✭✭Absoluvely


    It doesn't bother me that people call other people fags.

    It doesn't bother me that people call other people **** either.

    Or clowns.



    Some people are gay, some people are clowns, and some people are **** :rolleyes:

    What's the difference?


  • #54
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    Absoluvely wrote: »
    It doesn't bother me that people call other people fags.

    It doesn't bother me that people call other people **** either.

    Or clowns.



    Some people are gay, some people are clowns, and some people are **** :rolleyes:

    What's the difference?

    The words "fag" and "gay" are not synonymous, one is derogatory for the other.


  • #55
    Absoluvely
    Registered Users Posts: 1,317 ✭✭✭Absoluvely


    wonderfulname wrote: »
    The words "fag" and "gay" are not synonymous, one is derogatory for the other.

    That's why I'm asking how [if] it's less okay than someone calling someone a wanker, which, equivalently, is a derogatory word for a masturbator.


  • #56
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Absoluvely wrote: »
    That's why I'm asking how [if] it's less okay than someone calling someone a wanker, which, equivalently, is a derogatory word for a masturbator.


    Whenever anyone uses wanker it's not to refer to someone as a masturbator...when someone uses fag it's a stab at that person's identity. Words change in meaning all the time.


  • #57
    Absoluvely
    Registered Users Posts: 1,317 ✭✭✭Absoluvely


    Ash885 wrote: »
    Whenever anyone uses wanker it's not to refer to someone as a masturbator...when someone uses fag it's a stab at that person's identity. Words change in meaning all the time.

    I think people often use the word fag without targeting someone's orientation.
    And I think that that's what this thread is primarily about.
    OP wrote: »
    Is it socially acceptable for straight people to use these phrases casually?


  • #58
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,787 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Absoluvely wrote: »
    I think people often use the word fag without targeting someone's orientation.

    and it is very often used as an abusive term for gay

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #59
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Absoluvely wrote: »
    I think people often use the word fag without targeting someone's orientation.
    And I think that that's what this thread is primarily about.

    The only time I've heard that word was as a negative in reference to someone's orientation. Sorry if that's not the case for everyone, but that's my experience of it anyway. Someone recently said to me that fag means "a bad gay person" and proceded called a group of people "fags". The mind boggles...

    The majority of the times I've heard "that's so gay" wasn't meant in a, shall we say, harmful way. But there's obviously something wrong that society in general use that word so commonly to expresss that something is "bad" or "lame". It leads to children assuming "gay" is bad even before they find out what it actually is.


  • #60
    Locker10a
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,140 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    mango salsa wrote: »
    and it is very often used as an abusive term for gay

    True! But its also sometimes thrown around like the word, wanker ,pr!ck, retard etc. and is used by people who are in no way homophobic !

    I personally believe that if people react in a dramatic or offended way to a particular word that is used in an effort to offend you, by doing so you infact give the word more power! I dont know how well I explained that, but what I mean is that if you react offened to the word retard or fag or what ever it maybe you have allowed the word and consequently the person saying it to successfully provoke the reaction they wanted from you!


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  • #61
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Locker10a wrote: »
    True! But its also sometimes thrown around like the word, wanker ,pr!ck, retard etc. and is used by people who are in no way homophobic !

    I personally believe that if people react in a dramatic or offended way to a particular word that is used in an effort to offend you, by doing so you infact give the word more power! I dont know how well I explained that, but what I mean is that if you react offened to the word retard or fag or what ever it maybe you have allowed the word and consequently the person saying it to successfully provoke the reaction they wanted from you!

    I don't really understand how hard it is to realise that words hurt people. The majority of people I know who are hurt by hearing something unpleasant called a word that could also easily be applied to describe them don't 'decide' to be hurt. They just are.

    I have many friends with intellectual disabilities. When they hear someone saying that something is "retarded" or that someone is a "retard", that hurts them. Deeply. My girlfriends Mum and many members of her family have disabilities. She is incredibly hurt by that word, because it's derogatory. Why would anyone want to use words THEY KNOW will hurt someone else? I really don't believe anyone over the age of 6 or 7 doesn't know what these words mean, or meant historically. They know that something that is "gay" or "retarded" is bad or stupid. I am honestly flabbergasted as to how some people don't understand. I actually think they don't want to understand, because it would mean taking a long hard look at themselves and their attitudes to minorities.


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