Lidl stocking cocaine (good stuff at that)

mike65 · 04-01-2010 11:34pm #1

It is famous for its budget offers and rock-bottom prices but when the Lidl supermarket chain received several batches of high-grade cocaine at its Spanish stores last weekend it decided that that was one product which would not be making it on to the shelves.

Instead the budget supermarket group called in the police to solve the mystery of how a dozen of its stores had each received hundreds of thousands of euros worth of neatly wrapped cocaine mixed in with their fresh bananas.

The drugs were discovered at the bottom of banana boxes that went to stores in Madrid, Plasencia and the town of Cáceres. The bananas, which had been imported by sea from Ecuador, arrived at the Mercamadrid wholesale fruit and vegetable market in Madrid last week. There they were snapped up by buyers from Lidl and the Alcampo supermarket group.

It was not until a Lidl employee at a Madrid supermarket got ready to stack the bananas on the store's shelves that the curious packages lying under the bunches were discovered.

Similar cargoes of cocaine were later found at a dozen Lidl supermarkets, with more than 100kg (220lb) of the drug being discovered overall. The hunt for further batches was continuing yesterday. Police said the traffickers had somehow failed to pick up their cocaine, which had a street value of about €4.5m (£4.02m).

Liam Byrne · 04-01-2010 11:36pm

As Marty says....

"Every Lidl Helps!"

Coriolanus · 04-01-2010 11:38pm

Funny and all, just bear in mind some poor fucker is going to lose his life over this.

"Hey boss, remember that shipment I was gonna pick up tomorrow?"

"Sie..."

"Well, the funny thing is..."

:pac:
Silly traffickers!

The Pontiac · 04-01-2010 11:42pm

Being Lidl I'm sure they would cut the shít out of it anyway it they were going to sell it.

ContyHooks · 04-01-2010 11:43pm

Lidl's cocaine hasn't a patch on the Eurospar stuff.

galwayrush · 04-01-2010 11:46pm

The economy is well ****ed when you can get your white powder free with a banana.:rolleyes:

Corkfeen · 05-01-2010 12:07am

I'd have become a dealer if I found it.

None of ye can arrest me for my thought crime.

stovelid · 05-01-2010 12:25am

Aldi are already one step ahead of the game here...

congo_90 · 05-01-2010 12:27am

Bannana and cocaine go together like beer and a curry :pac:

Diabhal Beag · 05-01-2010 12:30am

I'd love to try the Lidl branded cocaine. I'm sure it might not be as good as the Irish version but **** its the recession eh!

(The following joke was based on the snobby assumption that the produce in Lidl is inferior to Irish made products)

whiskeyman · 05-01-2010 12:35am

That'll be a Lidl offer not to be sniffed at...

MagicMarker · 05-01-2010 12:38am

congo_90 wrote: »

Bannana and cocaine go together like beer and a curry :pac:

Beer & curry = rotten.

Milk & curry? Now that's where it's at!!

Queen-Mise · 05-01-2010 12:40am

Nevore wrote: »

Funny and all, just bear in mind some poor fucker is going to lose his life over this.

"Hey boss, remember that shipment I was gonna pick up tomorrow?"

"Sie..."

"Well, the funny thing is..."

:pac:
Silly traffickers!

That was my very thought. A couple of people will end up dead after that mess up.

Captain Havoc · 05-01-2010 12:40am

Nevore wrote: »

Funny and all, just bear in mind some poor fucker is going to lose his life over this.
:pac:
Silly traffickers!

Well the silly fücker should have got a normal job then, shouldn't he.

FarmerGreen · 05-01-2010 12:42am

Quite hygienic though, normally it comes into the country shoved up the
bottom of an AIDS ridden third world desperado.
Snort.

Capt'n Midnight · 05-01-2010 1:06am

Mrs Doyle: There's always time for a nice cup of tea. Sure, didn't the Lord himself pause for a nice cup of tea before giving himself up for the world.

Father Ted: No, he didn't, Mrs Doyle!

Mrs Doyle: Well, whatever the equivalent they had for tea in those days, cake or something. And speaking of cake, I have cake!

[Holds up a cupcake]

Father Ted: No thanks, Mrs Doyle.

Mrs Doyle: Are you sure, Father? There's cocaine in it!

Father Ted: WHAT?

df1985 · 05-01-2010 2:11am

off to lidl for bananas tomorrow so!

Lia_lia · 05-01-2010 2:40am

Haha. Class.

civis_liberalis · 05-01-2010 10:53am

Nevore wrote: »

just bear in mind some poor fucker is going to lose his life over this.

If just one "poor fucker", as you put it, loses his life over 4 million worth of cocaine, I would be astounded.

bonerm · 05-01-2010 10:59am

Drugs found. Drug dealer(s) dead. Win-win.

stovelid · 05-01-2010 10:59am

Lia_lia wrote: »

Haha. Class.

A?

extra-ordinary_ · 05-01-2010 11:04am

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

I'd love to try the Lidl branded cocaine. I'm sure it might not be as good as the Irish version but **** its the recession eh!

(The following joke was based on the snobby assumption that the produce in Lidl is inferior to Irish made products)

Oh dear.

Futurism · 05-01-2010 11:05am

Forget cocaine. They need to bring out a Grow-your-own-weed set.

stateofflux · 05-01-2010 11:58am

so i guess the thursday special deal is off then? damn

AnonoBoy · 05-01-2010 12:53pm

It's high time Lidl brought out some offers that weren't met with snorts of derision alright although my good friend Charlie does enjoy working there alright. There'll be lines around the block waiting to sniff out the bargains this week I'd say........ [and so on and so forth]

ScumLord · 05-01-2010 12:57pm

Futurism wrote: »

Forget cocaine. They need to bring out a Grow-your-own-weed set.

Eurospar was unwittingly selling salvia plants for a while.

Nichololas · 05-01-2010 1:08pm

In other news the floors at Lidl are curiously clean and shiny, all the shelf-packers finished their work 2 hours early and 2 boxes of chewing gum went mysteriously missing.