I'm 20 and stuck at home on a Friday night, and it's kinda makin me feel like a social failure! Not one of my close friends is single, and I'm not the kinda person with loads of "acquaintances" that I can just pick up the phone to and head out with, so here I am stuck in alone wishing I had even one person to go out to a nightclub or something with. It's a pretty regular occurance aswell so this isn't a once off complaint. Feel like I'm alone with this problem, what other single person of this age can't go out when they want to?

[a fat guy]

I definitely don't go out every Friday and I'm 22. It's just not as good as Saturday, which I always go out for.

And why would you feel like a social failure for not going out on a Friday? You place too much of an emphasis on what others think of you and most likely judge others as much as you're judging yourself right now. What you need to do is realise that going out and partying is not what life is all about. And if someone doesn't go out at all for the weekends, that doesn't make them a failure!

Once you've stopped judging others, you will stop judging yourself.

Once you stop judging yourself, you'll be happy.

Good luck!

[cena]

27 and I don't go out at all.

[cymbaline]

Social failure sounds a bit melodramatic to be honest. Not going out on a Friday night is more common than you think, especially as people get older and think more about where their money is going. Not to mention not wanting to lose half Saturday to a raging hangover.

Regardless, I get where you're coming from. You're all dressed up with nowhere to go, so to speak. Do you have the same problem on a Saturday night or is it just Fridays?

From what I can see, you have two options
(1) Make some new friends through college/work/other social activities and go out with them
(2) Accept that this is the way it's going to be and look into other ways to hang out with your friends. Some people drop their friends like a hot snot when they get into relationships but others do make more of an effort. Maybe now that your friends are all loved up, they don't want to go out on the tear like they used to but would still be happy to do some things with you.

[RacoonQueen]

Originally Posted by cena

27 and I don't go out at all.

Same here, but younger

It's not big deal. I did that going out every weekend/every Friday and Saturday for about 2 or 3 months and then realised that it was a horrible waste on money and I really didn't enjoy it.

Now when I do out, I really enjoy myself.

It's no big deal, I stopped going out like that at about 19.

Question is though, why dont' you go out? You say none of your friends are single, but do they go out as couples? Say a few couples going out? Why not organise a night out yourself and see if your friends and their partners fancy a night out?

[checkcheek]

Same issue here. I'm 19 and never go out any night. My friends all have other friends and they seem to go out but never invite me and I'm not the kinda of person to just invite myself.

Hey OP,
I'm 27 and no better than you.
2nd saturday in in a row and wasnt out last night either.
one best friend is married with child, other stuck in fiance 24/7 doesnt go out. rest are in dublin or abroad. so its me myself and I and any other friends i have i wouldnt ring up to ask to go out with, it's more if we're in contact anyway!

[cena]

Originally Posted by RacoonQueen

Same here, but younger

It's not big deal. I did that going out every weekend/every Friday and Saturday for about 2 or 3 months and then realised that it was a horrible waste on money and I really didn't enjoy it.

Now when I do out, I really enjoy myself.

It's no big deal, I stopped going out like that at about 19.

Question is though, why dont' you go out? You say none of your friends are single, but do they go out as couples? Say a few couples going out? Why not organise a night out yourself and see if your friends and their partners fancy a night out?

They all go out to a place I use to work and had accident in it. I was never a going out kind of person. Its meanly ladie I would hang with if I was going out. I never see the lads around.

I have asked a few to come down to my place but they never do.

[CatEyed92]

Don't worry.
You're 20, so you're in my age bracket!

My experience:
I'm 21, tried the whole 'clubbing/student scene/nights out' and it loses it's novelty fairly quickly when you're the non drinker.

It's quite boring actually and I can think of better things to be doing then holding a friend's hair back and dragging their dead weight into a taxi..
Not worth it in my own opinion.. Alot of effort for what it is.
I've taken a different approach lately and sat down to have a chat with myself. I would much rather do something I was comfortable with e.g not getting smashed! I'd rather curl up with a book or Johnathon Ross or sleep even then try to keep up with such a shallow scene with no substance or quality.
Don't get me wrong, I love dancing! LOVE IT! Love the odd gig and meeting other people and having a laugh etc. But from my own experience, with the crowd I've been around, it's all about getting drunk and pre drinking.

OP, do what makes you comfortable! You're by no means a loser or a 'social failure'. It's not all about nights out. You can be 'social' in other ways without the nights out. What do you like? Sport? A hobby? Join something and find like-minded people

And if it's just a case of wanting to go out with a friend or five, meet like minded people and then organize something?!

Night out's are not the be all and end all

Cat!

[boneyarsebogman]

OP, if your only main issue right now is staying in on a Friday night, then that's a pretty good sign.

Cheers for the replies everyone, my internet has been down so I haven't been able to post.

It's Friday again and I'm having the same issue....

It's not that I'm unhappy in particular with being in on a Friday night, it's more so that to me it's indicative of a wider social problem in my life. If I want to just go out, on a given night, I can't. I've nobody to ask. The main group of mates I have are in relationships as I've said and have little to no interest in going out. Do you not agree that 99% of people in the 20-25 age bracket have enough friends that they can avoid being stuck in at home on a Friday night? I don't, and it makes me feel fairly pathetic.

[Big Bag of Chips]

What did you expect to magically happen in a week?! I'm not being deliberately mean OP, but if you are unhappy with any aspect of your life, it's up to you, and you alone, to change it. Nobody is going to 'fix' your life for you!

So your friends are all loved up? Do they still go out, or are they also stuck at home? Why not try arrange to go out with some of them next week. Surely just because they are going out with someone doesn't mean that they never step foot outside the door. I know plenty of couples who still manage to get out seperately once in a while, and even some couples who enjoy going out together but with their other friends going along too (single or otherwise!)

None of them are going to magically know that you are stuck in because none of them are available to go out. Call someone. Ask them would they like to go out, because you haven't been out with them in ages.. etc?

You need to sort this out - not sit around waiting for the next Friday to come, and then give out that you are at home, alone, again.

To make this matter feel even worse, I had a birthday 5 days ago and a grand total of 6 people wished me birthday on a certain popular social networking site. Surely that's an awfully pathetic amount for someone of age 20 and further shows how much of a social failure I really am?

Why do you care about people wishing you happy birthday on a social networking site?
OP i only have a few really good friends, dont go out that often and i'm happy.
You need to take the advice given on here and keep trying.
You're only a failure if you give up.

[Dave!]

tbh I don't think "just be happy" is terribly useful here! Obviously he's unhappy with his current social situation. I'm in a similar position I suppose, although I do get out most weekends it's with the same small group and I'm a bit over-reliant on them, which isn't a great situation to be in.

I'm in a bit of a transitional phase at the moment because I'm trying to find a new job, and I'm moving back in with my folks in a couple of weeks, but once I get the job stuff sorted I'm gonna have a look around and see what clubs, classes, meetups, etc., I can check out. Hopefully meet a few people there, and get out with them, etc.

I suggest you do likewise OP! You have to put yourself out there, or you'll be stuck in the same situation in a couple of years' time