Abroad, alone, depressed. Need some relief - boards.ie
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12-08-2012, 03:48   #1
difficultgf
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Abroad, alone, depressed. Need some relief

Hi,
I posted a message a few weeks ago about a breakup but didn't want to dig it up again as it's not necessarily the same issue.

To preface this. I am 27, 28 in a few weeks, I recently went through a breakup. I live abroad. Of the people I know here, my best friend fell out with me last year and anyone else has either moved back home or gone off travelling.

Right now it's around 11pm on Saturday night and I feel utterly alone.

My family are nice and mean well but my parents are getting on. Its hard enough to get them to work Skype for half an hour at the weekend and even if I do, they don't like to hear bad news, they just want to hear than everything is great in America and so and so.

Everyone in my family, met and married their partner young. I haven't even told anyone about my recent breakup since the last few times their reaction was "Oh god, what did you do to them NOW???". Since they all married young, they don't seem to understand relationship problems. They met their partner young and through thick and thin have made it work, whereas the people I have met have all been ready to throw in the towel at any moment.

I am feeling so alone and depressed. There is nobody to talk to and even though its saturday night, I have nowhere to go. It seems everyone is out tonight, I keep thinking of my ex out meeting loads of new guys.

I am going out of my mind really. I just can't take it anymore.

Its a long time since i felt like this but I went to a councellor when I was younger about an issue. But all they want to talk about is how I must have had a troubled childhood and so on. I really didn't. My childhood is fine, but I have an issue NOW I need to deal with and they seem incapable of really helping. It just seems like the same scripted babble, over and over.

I tried to make an appointment with my GP but the health care system is different here. I can't see the doctor until almost October, that is the first available time. I just feel I dont have that long and even at that, it feels like it won't help anyway.

I tried joining a social football league but it was crap. They guys don't want to make friends because they use the time to hit on the girls and the girls obviously have no interest in me.
Other things like that are the problem. Everyone says "join a group" ut its not that easy. I can't just join anything and expect to have instant friends. And I find it very hard to go to somewhere alone and push myself on people to make friends. It terrifies me. I'm a quiet guy, nothing wrong with me but I find it hard to stroke up conversation.

I cant go out alone because then I'll be the weird creepy guy at the bar on his own. And I have no idea how to "chat someone up". Girls never pay any interest in me.

Also, everyone just says "Oh, you need to work on yourself before having a girlfriend". But I dont see how that makes sense. If I find it hard to meet people, what is wrong with seeing someone I can get to know? Its a lot easier than meeting LOTS of new friends all at once. Yes, I need to do both, but its not as easy as saying work on myself. My life is fine. I dont really want for anything. I'm not "damaged" goods. I am just lonely. But people treat it like its some sort of disease, and its not, its just normal to want people around me sometimes.

I dont know what to do. I really need to do something immediately but I dont know where to turn. I cant find any help. And I really need to find help.
 
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13-08-2012, 00:30   #2
guest2012
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1
You probably don't want to hear this but I get it. I have no friends- they've moved away either travelling or work or college, and I realize the distances between one part of the country and the other in Ireland is not as great the ocean separating you, but it might as well be. I pencil people in for skype or phone calls but it is not the same. Effectively all I have is work- I go to work I come home I go to work I come home- I have tried making friends with those I work with and while I get on well with them while in work no one really wants to socialize outside of it. I have also joined a few clubs and the people there are also not interested in making friends outside of the club activities...That whole work on yourself before you can meet new people..This is coming from me not someone else giving me advice- is there something wrong with me that no one new will be my friend? I have uncontrollable bouts of just sobbing when I am alone for no reason other then I can't bear how sad and lonely I feel. I have a boyfriend who I know cares about me but he doesn't fill the void and I am getting on his nerves at this stage because I am desperately trying to look for some sort of happiness- I want his attention and crowd his space hoping something he will say or do will make me feel happy or at least worthwhile. All that ends with is him being annoyed with me which ends with me feeling even sadder. It has gotten to the point I don't see the point of waking up in the morning.It all seems so pointless.
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