A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.
After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed.
So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband.
On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
The husband with a concerned look on his face says,
"Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed.
The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out.
As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
600 million Indians were plunged into darkness today...
when the country's main electricity supplier fell off his bike.
An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere $150, the skull of Saint Patrick.
Included in the price was a certificate of the skull's authenticity, signed by Saint Patrick himself.
Ten years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the antique shop owner if he had any more bargains.
"I've got the very thing for you," said the Irishman. "It's the genuine skull of Saint Patrick".
"You swindler," said the American. "You sold me that ten years ago," and, producing the skull, added, "Look, they're not even the same size".
"You have it all wrong," said the Irishman. "This is the skull of Saint Patrick when he was a lad".