Quote:
Originally Posted by Kooli
Sounds interesting. A lot of that would resonate with my own experience, and there's definitely a growing community of experts who believe a lot of our problems come from our constant efforts to be happy and to escape negative feelings.
|
Well, there is a huge difference in how you escape, or attempt to escape.
There is a big difference between every day sadness and boredom. (That may have an important function as a motivator - and as a function of empathy (it could also just be physical tiredness). ) And....unbearable suffering that must be escaped.
Reading this thread made me think of Dr. Feelgood, Max Jacobson. He was a physician to the stars. He would start his clients out on a little amphetamine and sleeping pills, and then graduate them to full blown prescription medication dependency. I've read a few accounts of what happened to his patients. And a few stories of similar doctors - people going in with mild weariness, and then spending a decade or more in a hellish chemical fug, only emerging from it eyes blinking years later, when they'd stopped the medication and got away from the doctor.
There's been a 400% explosive increase in the use of antidepressants in the US since the early 90s. But this isn't a new thing - the doctors are just moving away from prescribing tranquillisers like Valium. And before that there were other things.
Quote:
|
Tony Bates has a similar approach I think - that healing comes from facing into our depression rather than turning away from it or trying to get rid of it. And with clients I would often talk of the 'wisdom' of their emotions when I can sense that they are trying to get away from them.
|
A really good book to read is Barbara Ehrenreich's Smile or Die. Thinking positive thoughts alone is not good enough - and maybe it's worse than useless. The glib "healing" and positive affirmations maybe completely worthless if underneath the person has a toxic self-lacerating mode of thinking. Someone with a rictus grin through clenched teeth.
All this positive thinking nonsense sells well, because it's what people want to hear. Glib answers sell well.
The Buddhist retreats, and upping the dose of happy pills may be giving some people the inner serenity of one of Bacon's screaming Popes.
Quote:
|
Oliver Burkeman's recent book 'The Antidote' is kind of along the same lines (although I haven't read it yet). He suggests that happiness comes from embracing "failure, pessimism, insecurity and uncertainty - the very things we spend our lives trying to avoid."
|
No, I think really happiness is achievable. I know what formula works for me - through experience. It's not where my life is at the moment - and dropping a prescription pill is not going to get me there either. It's a combination of material and environmental factors. They are not unrealistic or impossible conditions to achieve - but they are presently out of my reach.
Burkeman's "happiness" may be the comfort of giving in to learned helplessness. Lie down and accept your fate. People are finding themselves in work, social, and family environments, where other people in those environments are using anxiety, insecurity, torture, consciously or not, to induce learned helplessness in their victims for the purposes of control. Just resigning yourself to the misery is not happiness or anything even near it.
Burkeman may be in some private hell he feels it's impossible to escape from.