[validusername1]

Originally Posted by Jane_LS_88

Tbh I'd say the same if it was a girl letting her boyfriend dictate what she does.

Well obviously, but the reason I said it about women telling men what to do is because that's what the topic of the thread was..

[puffin24]

This is how it works in my house, and it works for us! There is one tv in our flat, so if himself wanted to play xbox or something he would do so when Im working on college projects, working, gone out with mates etc. Theres no way he would come in, sit down and shove on a game when I just want to relax and watch tv. I never said he wasnt allowed to do so, he knows that it would be rude. When football is on tv, as happened with the euros, hes a big football fan and wanted to watch all the matches. While he was doing this I watched some with him with a few beers, for others I mucked about on the internet adding a "yea, mmmhmmm" every now and then when he was ranting about some player or other. Then when the match was over the remote was thrown to me and I got to watch whatever I wanted with no complaints (even sex and the city, which normally produces a host of protests from himself!) So thats us!

[The Big Red Button]

I really don't like the idea of a relationship where either partner allows or denies permission to the other person, to do anything really!

If you get into a relationship with someone, it's because you like them the way they are. If you "accept" them the way they are, but would like to change bits of them here and there, well I think that it would be preferable to stay single!

Obviously it's different if one person changes their behaviour during the relationship.

For example, if a boyfriend became a drug addict a couple of years into the relationship, I'd almost certainly end things. However, if he was a drug addict when I met him, there is no way I'd enter the relationship with the intention of "changing" or "fixing" him, in the first place! It wouldn't be fair on either of us.

To a way lesser (but sometimes equally valid) extent, the same would be true for the example in the OP ... if I had a problem with a boyfriend playing computer games for hours on end, I probably wouldn't get into that relationship in the first place.

I don't think I could ever be in a relationship where there's any sort of a power struggle. I like that me and my boyfriend like for each other to be happy, and we'd never try to stop each other from doing stuff that makes us happy. Actually, I think we'd always encourage it! It makes sense ... why wouldn't you want that person to do something that makes them happy!

And if that means me sitting playing Angry Birds on my phone for three hours while he watches his Formula One ( ), then so be it!

[irateghost]

Me and my lady used to have arguments about xbox now we have seperate t.vs and she plays xbox(trials) with me now and again (alot more fun than whinging mitchells for half an hour ) and i watch come dine with me with her on occasion. Asides from that we swim, run and do weights together so desperate wild eyed 'couple time !' is never a problem or a conversation we have.

[feegee]

I honestly dont mind what my boyfriend does and long as he is happy, i try not to be the nagging girlfriend, who am i to tell him what he can and cant do , as long as he keeps me in mind and still spends time with me iam happy

[Lorrs33]

My boyfriend and I don't live together yet but he's always asking me how I'd react if he watched nature programmes (they upset me coz I'm REALLY sensitive on animals), but I'd just go into the other room and read or something, or make sure we have two tellies. I doubt it'll be something that happens frequent. I've yet to find out what he'll do to the extreme when I'm there

[orlyice]

i would never tell my OH what he is allowed to do. I have to admit he is fairly considerate when it comes to gaming. He often plays it when I am out of the house and will turn it off when I get home, or at least pause it and ask if I need the TV. lot of the time I play it with him, wouldnt be mad into gaming but relationships are about spending time together doing things we both enjoy. its the same as when he comes to hurling matches with me or watches them on tv (he is more of a rugby guy.... despite being from Tipp )

In fact I bought him his playstation for his birthday and travelled an hour to get him the game he was talking about. He also has one of those playstation phones so plays that when I am watching my TV. Few of my mates when they heard I was getting him playstation asked was I mad and told me to say goodbye to the TV!!

I think there is a delicate balance, between stuff I like doing, stuff he likes and stuff we both like. If you love someone you want them to be happy, controlling how they spend their time isnt going to make them happy. Cant understand why so many women (and sometimes men) think they can have everything their own way in relationships

[dandelionmind]

I live with my boyfriend in an apartment.

I'd never tell him what he can or can't do, because I think that's fairly ridiculous. Just because we're in a relationship doesn't mean we have any right to tell the other person what to do or what not to do.

Usually, when we're at home together, he won't play games with friends online because he - apparently - would rather chat to me and spend some time hanging out. I wouldn't be offended if I came home from work one evening and he said he was going to have a gaming evening with the lads though. I'd have some me time instead, or go out for a few drinks with a friend. It's not up to me to decide what he does with his down time - and vice versa.

I have no interest in gambling at all, but he sometimes visits a casino. He took me once and I, personally, hated the experience. He still goes with pals after nights out, and despite the fact I wasn't in to it, I'd never tell him he couldn't go because as far as I'm concerned, he can do what he likes - Provided he's happy and taking care of himself.

The only time I'd tell him not to do something would be if I was offering genuine advice, not because I had an agenda.

[Sea Filly]

He can do what he wants.

All relationships bring compromise, but on both sides.

[pastry2010]

My boyfriend and I have had clashes over the Xbox but I have realised it is something he like to do like when I watch soaps or American crap programmes and he sits through them, he uses x-box as 'downtime' after work and although sometimes it can last hours he is very much aware when too much is too much so I don't think it's fair to dictate what they can & can't do & the same goes for any man that would tell me I couldn't do something. Aslong as the person doesn't take the mick on how long they spend on computers etc then it shouldn't be an issue or become an argument!

[Wibbs]

Brownstone I moved your post into a new thread here http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showt...?t=2056713374# Better bet as you're looking more for advice