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24-06-2012, 16:10   #166
Aurongroove
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Originally Posted by mango salsa View Post
It's an answer NOT the answer.
I disagree with you.
I think it is the answer and that no one has given any convincing argument to indicate otherwise.

If you are gay, then being gay isn't a choice as it's the only dish on the menu. It's that simple.

Last edited by Aurongroove; 24-06-2012 at 16:30.
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24-06-2012, 19:46   #167
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What if you're somewhere in between but identify as gay?

Is that me poking at the can of worms?
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24-06-2012, 20:44   #168
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What if you're somewhere in between but identify as gay?
That's me. I'm more attracted to guys but I do still get with girls occasionally, usually when there's drink involved!

As far as its a choice, of course not! I never wanted to attracted to men let alone be gay but I've grown to like that side of me a lot since then.

Sometimes I wonder if homosexuality is genetic but then you look at identical twins - one can be straight and the other gay.

This is my little theory on it, but I think genetics play a big role in it but real time events while in the womb (more exposure to different hormones and slight imbalances brought about by non genetic factors) shape the rest.

The twins thing is interesting though. Although one could identify as gay, who's to say the other isn't attracted to men to some degree?
Look at me, I fit between being gay and bi and I'm sure a lot of those cases could be the same. It's an interesting subject anyway but one thing I can tell you is that you're born with a preference you never choose one sex over another willingly.
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24-06-2012, 21:32   #169
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Originally Posted by Aurongroove View Post
I disagree with you.
I think it is the answer and that no one has given any convincing argument to indicate otherwise.

If you are gay, then being gay isn't a choice as it's the only dish on the menu. It's that simple.
I haven't seen any convincing arguments that it is the only answer.
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24-06-2012, 23:00   #170
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As far as its a choice, of course not! I never wanted to attracted to men let alone be gay but I've grown to like that side of me a lot since then.

Sometimes I wonder if homosexuality is genetic but then you look at identical twins - one can be straight and the other gay.
I believe with identical twins both could have inherited the gay gene but it remained dormant in one of them.Also,whilst they come from the same gene pool they wouldn't be 100% alike therefore both wouldn't possess the exact same genetic make up imo.

I've no problem been with gay,but I'm so bitter with the level of homophobia out there for something I was born into.If I see someone in trouble,pushing their car that's broken down for example.. sometimes I think will I help them?Nah,he/she's probably a homophob. sorry bit off topic just ranting
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24-06-2012, 23:08   #171
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I believe with identical twins both could have inherited the gay gene but it remained dormant in one of them.Also,whilst they come from the same gene pool they wouldn't be 100% alike therefore both wouldn't possess the exact same genetic make up imo.

I've no problem been with gay,but I'm so bitter with the level of homophobia out there for something I was born into.If I see someone in trouble,pushing their car that's broken down for example.. sometimes I think will I help them?Nah,he/she's probably a homophob. sorry bit off topic just ranting
I know that there is a lot of homophobia out there but I think the way you seem to approach life is a bit unhealthy in my opinion. It seems like you just assume lot's of people are homophobic for no reason.
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25-06-2012, 10:29   #172
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I agree Mango Salsa,in a bad mood when I wrote that,not a true reflection of how I feel.

Last edited by whattotdo; 25-06-2012 at 10:33.
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25-06-2012, 11:54   #173
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I believe that there is a spectrum of sexual orientation. I don't believe there are only a select few sexual orientations, such as "gay", "bisexual", "asexual", "pan-sexual" or "straight". It may be the case that each individual has their own unique orientation.

If you were to see things from this perspective, then you could come to the conclusion that being (or identifying as) "gay" is a choice but your own unique sexual orientation in not a choice. That is to say that it is your choose to adhere to a absolute term, such as "gay", but in the reality your own sexual orientation is not so absolute. I think we should regard the words "gay" and "straight" as mere generalisations. Maybe my reasoning here is flawed.

Anyway, I don't like labels; they can cause too much division.

Last edited by Pedant; 25-06-2012 at 12:00.
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25-06-2012, 12:03   #174
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Everyone will have their own answer for this, but personally, no it was not a choice. I was born liking men and my first ever sexual thought (and subsequent erection) when I was about 12 IIRC and was for a man I was watching on TV. Ever since then, it's been men only, I have never been sexually aroused by the sight or thought of a woman naked or sexily dressed. I have never felt confused about my sexuality either and did not go through a period of denial. I just thought that was normal to like guys, and I have ever since!

That's just the way I am. Everyone's different.

Last edited by Paddy C; 25-06-2012 at 12:05.
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26-06-2012, 22:16   #175
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Originally Posted by wonderfulname View Post
What if you're somewhere in between but identify as gay?

Is that me poking at the can of worms?
Not really, It's an honest angle, and a decent post. Self identity is a can of worms in itself yes, but it's not hopelessly untangle-able; so let's give it a go!

I would say, ask yourself what is it to identify as gay but be somewhere in between?
Presumably by "somewhere in between" you mean some form of mixed orientation or somewhere along the spectrum of sexual orientation and not at either extreme. And if that is so then you've answered your own question: If you identify yourself as gay, but you're somewhere in between then you're electing to identify yourself as gay. (you're quite literally somewhere in between but identifying as gay, as you said)


This is the point that so often gets lost;

If you are somewhere in between but you identify yourself as gay, it dosn't mean "the gay people" you now identify with suddenly become people who've chosen their orientation. The gay people who are just gay people who you're identifying with are still just gay and not by choice.
You don't magically make being gay a choice for all the people for whom it wasn't a choice, by being somewhere in between, then identifying yourself as gay and claiming "it seems to be an issue of identity, there are no right answers".

Now when people ask if "being gay is a choice". How much (for lack of a better word) 'dignity' are you asking those who are at the tip of the spectrum; gay and gay only to give up by insisting they should answer "oh, ehh... it seems like there isn't one answer, it seems like you can choose, ehh it wasn't a choice for me personally, ehh, I wish there was a definite answer, etc". IMO By trying to knock "being gay isn't a choice if you're gay" as an answers to the question It means you're (in a way) handing the burden of personal explanation onto those people who are just gay. All for the sake of better suiting the identity of "being gay" to those who are self admittedly somewhere in-between but identify as gay and not suiting it to those who are gay, and gay only.

If you ask me, it's the people who are somewhere in-between but identify as gay that should have to carry the burden of the "terms and conditions" and not those who don't have a choice in their identity. Those who are Identifying as gay should have to say "no it isn't a choice for gay people, there is only the matter of choice of wither someone identifies as gay or not when they in fact fall somewhere in between".

Last edited by Aurongroove; 27-06-2012 at 15:23.
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28-06-2012, 14:27   #176
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^^^^^^^^

I don't think I've ever read such a head-scratching post in my entire life!
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01-07-2012, 12:34   #177
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy C View Post
Everyone will have their own answer for this
Exactly I'm bisexual so I went through the "normal" discovering boys when I was around 13, and I was sure I was bi by the time I was 15. But now when I think back to my childhood, there was a lot of signs that it was gonna happen, I just didn't pick up on it as a child
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04-07-2012, 21:23   #178
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http://www.medicaldaily.com/news/201...-evolution.htm


Interesting article
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07-07-2012, 23:29   #179
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very interesting thread I must say.

I have a fair few gay friends. And one of my male gay friends, who was with women up to his teenage years, then both, now only men. He thinks he was always gay, but obviously was afraid to come out for his own reason! Now he still comments on women and how hot they are etc etc, and flirts with women like mad too, but says he isnt sexually attracted to them anymore! No the strange thing is he is constantly with one female all the time, and its obvious to everyone they have chemistry, but dont think it is sexual well imo
Was just wondering is it possible to to go back again, from being gay. Would this be bi sexual. Or is it possible for this gay man to be in love with this women but not sexual attracted.
I personally find it very confusing.. I am just asking cause it just seems to be only about sex with him with other men, but not with women!
 
06-08-2012, 19:50   #180
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