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braceface · 27-05-2012, 09:25

Hi Guys
Not sure if anyone can help. My husband moved out in January, leaving me & our baby son in the house. He was paying his half of the mortgage and a little maintenance (e30pw)

He announced yesterday that he will no longer pay half the mortgage as it's not fair he's paying for me to live in a 3 bed house while he rents a room in a house. I cannot afford the mortgage on my own and it's his way of forcing me out so we can rent out the house. Renting the house would cover about 80% of the mortgage and we'd divide the rest.

Can he do this? Can I freeze the mortgage for a couple of months while I sort myself out and find somewhere to live? We're on the waiting list for mediation and I was really hoping going to mediation would help us sort this kind of thing out but he's not willing to wait.

Thanks!

Abi · 28-05-2012, 08:57

I strongly advise you get legal advise on this OP. I'm sorry you're going through all this, especially with a baby to care for. A split can be tough enough without worrying yourself silly over where you and your baby will live.

Maybe someone will come along here with experience of this, but I'd definitely get in touch with a solicitor if I were you.

Best of luck to you.

**Joey the lips** · 28-05-2012, 09:05

As abi said get advice. Get a lot of advice and get it now.

However from my experience i would not rent out your house. It will be judged as an income when applying for social welfare. Assuming this will be your direction. If you can manage to work while renting out rooms then this might help you pay the mortage.

Otherwise If you cannot reach an agreement to live together then you will have to get rid of the house. Especially if you cannot pay for it.

Best wishes. Remember you and your son have a love an a bond. Look after yourselves and try your best not to get stressed.

braceface · 28-05-2012, 11:00

Thanks guys. I don't qualify for any social welfare as I am working full time and earn above the limits (barely!). I've contacted Legal Aid, will go back to FLAC in the meantime and will give the bank a call this afternoon...........

Smashhits · 29-05-2012, 10:43

I would agree with previous posters, get legal advice.

Have you applied for FIS? Family Income Supplement is paid to people working 19 hours or more per week. Have a look at the welfare website. It could be helpful for you.

Good luck

braceface · 29-05-2012, 10:46

I have applied for FIS, awaiting the outcome at the moment. Don't think I qualify

but anything's worth a try!

stimpson · 29-05-2012, 11:33

+1 on legal advice.

I've been here before. I got my solicitor to write to my ex explaining that I could not afford the payments on my own and that I would be only paying my half of the mortgage. If her actions caused any problems such as credit ratings, interest payments or repossession then I would hold her responsible in court. She came to her senses very quickly. We didn't have children, which can only strengthen your hand when it comes to the family home.

But talk to a solicitor and get a maintenance order as a matter of urgency. If you need the name of a good family law solicitor PM me.

EDIT: I would also be wary of talking to the bank until you have legal advice. I'd leave that in the hands of your solicitor.

maryk123 · 29-05-2012, 11:39

go to the bank and go interest only - if you eventually need to go to social welfare route along the line - a house rented will be classed as income and you are the one that is going to get all the hassle while his name is still on the house. so sort this out for yourself with something that suits you - get a meeting with the bank and lay it on the table he is not paying and you cant afford to pay it yourself - request interest only or a moratoriam (a break).

braceface · 29-05-2012, 12:58

I spoke to the bank yesterday and they recommended a moratorium, so I have that form to fill out. They think I can do it with just my ex signature for now. I just need a couple of months to get my head together, get legal advice and decide what to do!

stimpson · 29-05-2012, 14:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by braceface

I spoke to the bank yesterday and they recommended a moratorium, so I have that form to fill out. They think I can do it with just my ex signature for now. I just need a couple of months to get my head together, get legal advice and decide what to do!

My understanding is that a moratorium starts the clock ticking on the 12 months they have to wait until they can repossess your house. I would be wary of one sided advice coming from a bank. You need to seek independent advice.

braceface · 30-05-2012, 07:55

The countdown to repossession, really?? I'm not in arrears, never have been and it's what I'm trying to avoid. I've an appointment with FLAC next week, so holding tight for now

**Ickle Magoo** · 30-05-2012, 11:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by braceface

The countdown to repossession, really?? I'm not in arrears, never have been and it's what I'm trying to avoid. I've an appointment with FLAC next week, so holding tight for now

I think you've done everything you can by keeping your mortgage provider abreast of the situation and looking to get independent legal advice.

NB, you have a mutual agreement in place with your bank, that clearly does not constitute allowing your mortgage to fall into arrears and thus moves to repossess are not going to be made.

All the best.

VikingG · 01-06-2012, 15:30

Have you considered renting a room in your house... it can be done tax free. Obviously I would not recommend you bringing in a stranger giving the upheaval that you are already going through ... but if you did have a friend that was renting nearby .. it might suit...

braceface · 01-06-2012, 15:37

Hi VikingG
I did consider it, and offered it to a few friends but didn't suit anyone. Really don't want to have a stranger in the house with a 9 month old - my ex doesn't see why this is a problem....

hairyprincess · 27-06-2012, 22:44

I've been separated five years almost and my ex has not been paying the full mortgage and the house has not be repossessed! I don't contribute to the mortgage because, like your husbands position, I don't live there so I'm not going to pay so he can. Also I am renting so I couldn't afford it anyway.

Bottom line with the bank, as long as you keep them in the loop and pay as much as you can, they will not repossess a family home. Also I would look again at the €30 pw maintenance. That is pittance. Is your ex in employment?

27-05-2012, 09:25	#1
braceface Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meath Posts: 62 Adverts \| Friends	Ex no longer paying mortgage Hi Guys Not sure if anyone can help. My husband moved out in January, leaving me & our baby son in the house. He was paying his half of the mortgage and a little maintenance (e30pw) He announced yesterday that he will no longer pay half the mortgage as it's not fair he's paying for me to live in a 3 bed house while he rents a room in a house. I cannot afford the mortgage on my own and it's his way of forcing me out so we can rent out the house. Renting the house would cover about 80% of the mortgage and we'd divide the rest. Can he do this? Can I freeze the mortgage for a couple of months while I sort myself out and find somewhere to live? We're on the waiting list for mediation and I was really hoping going to mediation would help us sort this kind of thing out but he's not willing to wait. Thanks!

29-05-2012, 11:33	#7
stimpson Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: trans-Neptunian panic zone Posts: 2,755 Adverts \| Friends	+1 on legal advice. I've been here before. I got my solicitor to write to my ex explaining that I could not afford the payments on my own and that I would be only paying my half of the mortgage. If her actions caused any problems such as credit ratings, interest payments or repossession then I would hold her responsible in court. She came to her senses very quickly. We didn't have children, which can only strengthen your hand when it comes to the family home. But talk to a solicitor and get a maintenance order as a matter of urgency. If you need the name of a good family law solicitor PM me. EDIT: I would also be wary of talking to the bank until you have legal advice. I'd leave that in the hands of your solicitor. Last edited by stimpson; 29-05-2012 at 11:38.

28-05-2012, 08:57	#2
Abi Closed Account Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 20,323 Adverts \| Friends	I strongly advise you get legal advise on this OP. I'm sorry you're going through all this, especially with a baby to care for. A split can be tough enough without worrying yourself silly over where you and your baby will live. Maybe someone will come along here with experience of this, but I'd definitely get in touch with a solicitor if I were you. Best of luck to you.

28-05-2012, 09:05	#3
Joey the lips Stealing Hugs Chasing Kisses Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Frankfurts way Posts: 9,878 Adverts \| Friends Mod: Plumbing & Heating	As abi said get advice. Get a lot of advice and get it now. However from my experience i would not rent out your house. It will be judged as an income when applying for social welfare. Assuming this will be your direction. If you can manage to work while renting out rooms then this might help you pay the mortage. Otherwise If you cannot reach an agreement to live together then you will have to get rid of the house. Especially if you cannot pay for it. Best wishes. Remember you and your son have a love an a bond. Look after yourselves and try your best not to get stressed.

28-05-2012, 11:00	#4
braceface Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meath Posts: 62 Adverts \| Friends	Thanks guys. I don't qualify for any social welfare as I am working full time and earn above the limits (barely!). I've contacted Legal Aid, will go back to FLAC in the meantime and will give the bank a call this afternoon...........

29-05-2012, 10:43	#5
Smashhits Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Cork Posts: 121 Adverts \| Friends	I would agree with previous posters, get legal advice. Have you applied for FIS? Family Income Supplement is paid to people working 19 hours or more per week. Have a look at the welfare website. It could be helpful for you. Good luck

29-05-2012, 10:46	#6
braceface Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meath Posts: 62 Adverts \| Friends	I have applied for FIS, awaiting the outcome at the moment. Don't think I qualify but anything's worth a try!

29-05-2012, 11:39	#8
maryk123 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: co. Posts: 359 Adverts \| Friends	go to the bank and go interest only - if you eventually need to go to social welfare route along the line - a house rented will be classed as income and you are the one that is going to get all the hassle while his name is still on the house. so sort this out for yourself with something that suits you - get a meeting with the bank and lay it on the table he is not paying and you cant afford to pay it yourself - request interest only or a moratoriam (a break).

29-05-2012, 12:58	#9
braceface Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meath Posts: 62 Adverts \| Friends	I spoke to the bank yesterday and they recommended a moratorium, so I have that form to fill out. They think I can do it with just my ex signature for now. I just need a couple of months to get my head together, get legal advice and decide what to do!

30-05-2012, 07:55	#11
braceface Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meath Posts: 62 Adverts \| Friends	The countdown to repossession, really?? I'm not in arrears, never have been and it's what I'm trying to avoid. I've an appointment with FLAC next week, so holding tight for now

01-06-2012, 15:30	#13
VikingG Registered User Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 145 Adverts \| Friends	Have you considered renting a room in your house... it can be done tax free. Obviously I would not recommend you bringing in a stranger giving the upheaval that you are already going through ... but if you did have a friend that was renting nearby .. it might suit...

01-06-2012, 15:37	#14
braceface Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meath Posts: 62 Adverts \| Friends	Hi VikingG I did consider it, and offered it to a few friends but didn't suit anyone. Really don't want to have a stranger in the house with a 9 month old - my ex doesn't see why this is a problem....

27-06-2012, 22:44	#15
hairyprincess Registered User Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: a cottage on a hill beyond a river beside a tree Posts: 1,393 Adverts \| Friends	I've been separated five years almost and my ex has not been paying the full mortgage and the house has not be repossessed! I don't contribute to the mortgage because, like your husbands position, I don't live there so I'm not going to pay so he can. Also I am renting so I couldn't afford it anyway. Bottom line with the bank, as long as you keep them in the loop and pay as much as you can, they will not repossess a family home. Also I would look again at the €30 pw maintenance. That is pittance. Is your ex in employment?