[JonnyMcNamee]

Originally Posted by biohaiid

Some people saying go for the originality, others against it.

The title was something like the main character had to undergo some signifigant change or something.

I did that question the other day.. Started off in a morgue and used flashback technique to tell the story of how the protagonist's mother died and how it changed his life... was pretty happy with it so hopefully it gets a high mark when it comes back corrected!

[tits magee]

Here's my short story:

Peter Hunter

But sleep wouldn't come - the more he craved unconsciousness the faster his mind raced… Now he realised he was sweating and his heart was pounding. He desperately needed to relax and calm himself. Rolling over, he started fondling his wife's semi-naked body, feeling first her buttocks, then her breasts - sensing a hardening nipple he slid an exploratory finger inside the tiny knickers that was all she wore in bed - towards the area between her legs where he hoped to find or perhaps stimulate some encouraging and welcoming moistness…
'Go back to sleep,' she muttered, less than half awake, 'it's the middle of the bloody night.'
'I need to relax…' he pleaded, wondering why sex so often reduced successful men to beggars, 'I'm getting up soon. Please let me start the day right.'
'Piss off you sex maniac - go back to sleep…' Sara was being very unladylike, 'It's too bloody early.'
Now the kettle took forever to boil, but he had plenty of time. Lack of sleep had dulled his brain leaving him with a slight headache that slowed his thinking. A good rest, followed by a shave and a bath would have been better.
His ritual prelude to these rare expeditions beginning in the middle of the night…
He put his extra time to good use, checking first his rifle - clean and bright in its lambs wool lined case. Then the ammunition belt - holding twenty-five brass cases, each tipped with a shining metal-jacketed bullet.
He wouldn't need them all - just one if his aim was true, but the extra shells comforted him…
The inspection helped to calm his growing nervousness. At last - his lingering fatigue was displaced by a swelling trickle of adrenalin. It was always this way - something he never quite accepted as an everyday event - at least for a respectable businessman, who most days drove to Colchester, before taking a train to Liverpool Street station - then the short walk to his office in London's financial district.
That was his normal day for Mark Lomax, the man his friends and colleagues knew and understood - not this one, dressed like a terrorist in green and brown, a peaked cap to break up the shape of his face - clothes providing camouflage amongst the hedges and copses of the countryside…
Few would understand why the quiet businessman crept from his expensive house, at dead of night, gun in hand, working himself into a dizzy feast of adrenalin - to drive fifty-two miles northeast.
For a pre-dawn assignation in a remote corner of Norfolk…

End


my english teacher told me it was a bit racy

its not all of it of course, there's more

[implausible]

Originally Posted by biohaiid

Some people saying go for the originality, others against it.

The title was something like the main character had to undergo some signifigant change or something.

And in your short story, was the character undergoing a significant change a central, obvious part of the story?

Originality is not as important as most student's think. If you want an A1, yes, it's vital, but for anything else, a well-written story that addresses the title is sufficient. Examiners are often faced with several stories with very similar or identical plots and are told to mark each on its own merits i.e. as if we haven't seen it before. What is comes down to is how well the candidate answered the question.

[biohaiid]

Originally Posted by implausible

And in your short story, was the character undergoing a significant change a central, obvious part of the story?

Originality is not as important as most student's think. If you want an A1, yes, it's vital, but for anything else, a well-written story that addresses the title is sufficient. Examiners are often faced with several stories with very similar or identical plots and are told to mark each on its own merits i.e. as if we haven't seen it before. What is comes down to is how well the candidate answered the question.

Yeah I think so.
To explain it briefly there was a girl, completley intoxicated, who saw the image of her 12 year old self through a window.
And she started noticing the differences between then and now and decided to write a letter warning of all the things not to do - drink, drugs, get pregnant.
Then at the end of each par i.e end of each warning there was a condradiction, like taking another swig, baby kicking etc.
In the end she decided she wanted to better her life and make a change.
I think it was relative enough, she underwent 'signifigant change' twice really, but maybe you think otherwise?

[Canard]

Hmm, well technically shes already undergone the change. I made the same mistake in my mock but I had the other one, and I chose "Write a modern love story" - but it was a date so my teacher said it didnt fit with the title. They're getting really picky with how well you fit with the title. :/

[Mysteriouschic]

Just wondering do you need to have a story already prepared before going into the exam and then you have to try and fit it in to whichever title comes up?
I usually get ideas from the title the but my teacher said if you do the short story you must have a story already prepared. Do you have to??? :s
I would but I wonder that the title won't fit in to the story and I'll have to change it.
And you know the change does it have to be personality wise?

[Canard]

Of course you dont have to - theres every chance you wont be able to fit it in, considering most stories will be ones that have come up before. I've done about 5 or 6 that got A1s so I'm making sure I know those well, and I learn nice words/descriptions and pray to God I dont make a balls of it

[Mysteriouschic]

Originally Posted by Patchy~

Of course you dont have to - theres every chance you wont be able to fit it in, considering most stories will be ones that have come up before. I've done about 5 or 6 that got A1s so I'm making sure I know those well, and I learn nice words/descriptions and pray to God I dont make a balls of it

Oh and she was saying just to have one story but that seems risky I'd have to make the story have a wide variety of themes or something that would fit in with every question.

[Canard]

Why limit yourself? Its always best to have choice I'd be careful about a broad story, they're apparently making it harder to get high marks in the stories now because people were rote-learning them, I'd say do a few theme-specific ones with a wide variety of events

[Mysteriouschic]

Originally Posted by Patchy~

Why limit yourself? Its always best to have choice I'd be careful about a broad story, they're apparently making it harder to get high marks in the stories now because people were rote-learning them, I'd say do a few theme-specific ones with a wide variety of events

I'm not sure what to write about the story I wrote but I did that in exam condition mode timed myself planning and everything .
It was in first person and the woman was a business woman and that day she found out the business might be closing down and she was worried about what would happen if it does and as her husband lost his job and the son is doing well in school she doesn't want to let them down. But other workers are fired instead the business closes down and the boss offers her a the same job but she has to move to the job as thats where the business is moving to. The husband has only recently gotten a new job that he loves and he quits. The son gets used to the idea of moving and didn't like it at the start . Then they move and thats where it ended.

I'm not sure if thats a good plot?? I've been thinking it's not bad but could maybe add something into it as I don't know if it has a major theme .

[Canard]

You could have a lot of themes in there like decisions, moving, jobs, family, challenges, but what I'd do is try to split it up a little. For example if the title in June was something like "a story where a job is lost" focus more on the job being lost than the son doing well in school, but if it said something like "Where a character changes his/her mind" (bad title but just for the example!) you'd focus more on the son coming around to the idea of moving, but itd need to be more central to the plot.

Hope that made sense

[Mysteriouschic]

Originally Posted by Patchy~

You could have a lot of themes in there like decisions, moving, jobs, family, challenges, but what I'd do is try to split it up a little. For example if the title in June was something like "a story where a job is lost" focus more on the job being lost than the son doing well in school, but if it said something like "Where a character changes his/her mind" (bad title but just for the example!) you'd focus more on the son coming around to the idea of moving, but itd need to be more central to the plot.

Hope that made sense

I was thinking maybe having a character get sick the title was called "the decisive moment" . Oh yeah maybe if I made the family more challenging it was just a happy family really apart from the dad losing his job the woman was providing for the whole family. I'm not sure what change I'd make to the woman who's the main speaker where the character has to undergo a change. I tried to make her a someone who's like in love with their job possibly I could maybe make the family be annoyed at her spending so much time working and she'll have to change and focus more on the family and not just the job :S.

[Canard]

Originally Posted by Mysteriouschic

I was thinking maybe having a character get sick the title was called "the decisive moment" . Oh yeah maybe if I made the family more challenging it was just a happy family really apart from the dad losing his job the woman was providing for the whole family. I'm not sure what change I'd make to the woman who's the main speaker where the character has to undergo a change. I tried to make her a someone who's like in love with their job possibly I could maybe make the family be annoyed at her spending so much time working and she'll have to change and focus more on the family and not just the job :S.

If you wanted to focus in on a change occurring, and make it dramatic which examiners apparently like, you could do something like one loses their job and then the other falls slowly out of love with them...bit dramatic, you'd probably have to break it up a lot, I think the workaholic thing sounds easier and better.

I sometimes use flashbacks for a more complicated story or just break it up with "***" to show that time has passed, not 100% sure if you can do that but I dont see why not You could do it day by day shes coming home later, talking to them less, doing more work, and the unexpected change could even be that she realizes she needs more time for her family, its pretty workable. (pun not intended )

[Mysteriouschic]

Originally Posted by Patchy~

If you wanted to focus in on a change occurring, and make it dramatic which examiners apparently like, you could do something like one loses their job and then the other falls slowly out of love with them...bit dramatic, you'd probably have to break it up a lot, I think the workaholic thing sounds easier and better.

I sometimes use flashbacks for a more complicated story or just break it up with "***" to show that time has passed, not 100% sure if you can do that but I dont see why not You could do it day by day shes coming home later, talking to them less, doing more work, and the unexpected change could even be that she realizes she needs more time for her family, its pretty workable. (pun not intended )

It has to be over 3 days or less my teacher says it's harder to make it any longer so something which can occur over 2-3 days. Yeah I am slightly going towards to workaholic thing. I was actually trying to make the character have the personality traits of Simon Cowell lol.

[PictureFrame]

With the essay as well as every section of the English Paper:

Purpose is everything

Seriously, it's so important. My Mock essay was the one about change as well some of ye posted and 'apparently' my essay didn't fit the purpose (even though I talked about a Man's change in lifestyle due to a war, change in relationships because of a war and the final change he experienced- the change from life to death) and I got 22/30.

My Teacher told me that my C+L were full marks, but I didn't get them because I only got 22/30 in my P. Mechanics I got 10/10 in.

Therefore, I got 76/100 and really deserved 92/100 but didn't get it because my Essay didn't link in enough with the title! Purpose is everything!