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09-05-2012, 17:56   #1
joseph brand
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United Christian Broadcasters.

Who the hell are these people? Their magazine, which is around 50 pages, came in my letterbox today, even though I have one of those 'No Junk Mail' stickers.

There is some amount of sh1te inside. It is full of gospel verses, christian 'literature' and music cd's.

Not only are they nice enough to accept monthly donations, (not for helping the poor but for spreading more junk mail through letterboxes), they even accept your Will?

http://ucb.co.uk/legacy

They have a FB, Twitter and Youtube account. They're on SKY, UPC and even have an App.

I suppose they don't even pay tax, since religions are exempt?

/looks for credit card.
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09-05-2012, 18:03   #2
Sonics2k
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The first image read like something off a dating site.
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09-05-2012, 18:34   #3
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"He sees you not as you are, but as you will be when He gets through with you".

Well that sounds a bit rapey, tbh.
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09-05-2012, 18:44   #4
MagicMarker
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Well, I tried this, and nothing happened. Is Jesus mad at me? Also, how does Jesus feel about middle of the night sleepy sex?
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09-05-2012, 19:04   #5
Calibos
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Well, I tried this, and nothing happened. Is Jesus mad at me? Also, how does Jesus feel about middle of the night sleepy sex?
You Fool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did you read it?? Now you are saved ya big eejit. No big rap party with Satan and all the cool people in hell for you. All you have to look forward to now is kneeling prostrated in front of god singing his praises.......for eternity.

This is because we all now you can be a genocidal maniac and get in as long as you say those words at some point. God doesn't care if you read it but didn't mean it. Sure doesn't he let all those deathbed and foxhole conversionists in and they didn't mean it either and only said it because they were scared sh1tless. God doesn't care whats in your heart, he only cares that you read or vocalised the words.

Even standing up in the middle of a Mass and shouting, "I deny the Holy Spirit" won't save you from the lords clutches now!!
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09-05-2012, 20:05   #6
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Perhaps they've seen the gap in the market being left by the gradual demise of the RCC. They're good marketeers, no doubt about it.

I punish myself every now and again by flicking through the religious channels on Sky. It's undiluted crap.

What's happened with the giant evangelical church they were building near Dublin?
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09-05-2012, 21:53   #7
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They should send me their literature. Toilet paper is expensive these days.
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09-05-2012, 23:53   #8
FullRetard
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Well, I tried this, and nothing happened. Is Jesus mad at me? Also, how does Jesus feel about middle of the night sleepy sex?
You have to say it 5 times looking into a mirror dumba$$!
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10-05-2012, 10:38   #9
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You have to say it 5 times looking into a mirror dumba$$!
Tony Todd would make an AWESOME Jesus.

MrP
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10-05-2012, 11:14   #10
joseph brand
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Circulation has now increased to one million copies read, not only by UCB's supporters, but also by patients in hospitals, prisoners and residents of care centres throughout the UK and Ireland.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Gass

Who says that the church always tries to get to you while you are down?
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10-05-2012, 13:28   #11
Rev Hellfire
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You should collect their literature and then mail it back to their freepost address.

http://www.ucb.co.uk/testimonies

Its all about recycling after all.
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10-05-2012, 13:49   #12
Blackhorse Slim
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Sending their crap back to them might not be a good idea, they can then send the same crap to someone else.

Maybe they'd like me to send them the rest of my junk mail? Is that what Jesus would do?
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10-05-2012, 13:53   #13
Sarky
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Why not send it back with penises scribbled all over them?
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10-05-2012, 14:02   #14
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Sending their crap back to them might not be a good idea, they can then send the same crap to someone else.

Maybe they'd like me to send them the rest of my junk mail? Is that what Jesus would do?
how about this?

get a box, put their freepost address on it and then gift wrap a brick using their literature inside it (covered in permanent marker drawn penises), nestled in some more of their literature that you've already put through a shredder.

also, leave a little note in it saying that you are building a new house and you'd like them to bless the brick and post it back to you, so you can have jesus protecting you in your new home.

every time they put a new magazine through your letterbox, send them back a new brick to bless and see how long it takes them to stop sending stuff to you.
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10-05-2012, 16:04   #15
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Haha! Brilliant, vibe!
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