[nowayout1]

i've been seeing a girl for the last 2-3 months now and all is going well, she has a 9 month old baby at the moment which doesn't bother me as i'm great with kids. but the father of the child has gotten back in touch but she has reasured me that she doesn't want to leave me for him as she doesn't like him and doesn't wanna go back there, plus he hasn't been around till now. but before him getting back in touch after her send an email, i wanted her to be my girlfriend put this has happened. my friend has told me if i like her i shouldn't let him get in the way of us and get with her. but when i seen her he wanted to get back with him until she had to say she's moved on from him. but he fled after finding out he was to be a dad and is only taking responsibility now.

do i not let it get in my way and get with her?
is there anyone out there that has been in the same situation as i'm going through?

[Brendog]

"One man's loss is another man's gain"

Sounds like you're really interested in this girl OP. Go for it, no reason you shouldn't. Let us know how it goes.

[Victor]

Originally Posted by nowayout1

she has reasured me that she doesn't want to leave me

Is that the answer? She is already your girlfriend.

[Zambia]

Reckon victor is on the money there. I would normally be in favour of giving the natural parents a go. Bit of a spineless act on his part.

[sam34]

moved to PI

[nowayout1]

@victor i havent asked her yet but she has told me that if she hadnt of met me she would of went back to him but after she's met me she doesn't want to she's moved on from him.

i'll update use tomorrow will be out with her so i can inform use then how we got on.

the one thing that i can see happening is she'll want me at the babies birthday were her extended family will be there so a plus for me but also will be his immediate family and him, which i can see being awkward or tension with me there and him. but as @brendog said "one mans loss, is another mans gain"

[nowayout1]

yeh zambia he does sound like he was from what i keep on hearing. i've always said that if i got a girl pregnant i'd stay with them or if it wasn't working out i'd visit regularly not run for the 9 months of pregnancy and 9 months after the baby was born, just taught about himself and no one else

[curlzy]

Hey OP,

I have to say you sound like a lovely guy and your girl is very lucky to have you. I think you should go ahead and make it official, it'll be a nice bit of security for her too. It sounds like she's been through alot and I'd say she realises how lucky she is to have found you after that waster did a runner so it would be nice for her to feel like she can depend on someone. With regards to any tension with him, the best way to deal with it is be nice and polite and just don't take any bait if he starts cr*p with you. At the end of the day she's with you so ignore any shenanigans he starts, he sounds like a total tosser anyways.

Wish you, her and the baby all the best.

[Sappa]

She's carrying a little baggage nonproblem really,you sound like a decent chao and she would not have broken it off with the father of her child for a light reason.
She ain't getting back with him and you two should be together man.

[nowayout1]

Originally Posted by curlzy

With regards to any tension with him, the best way to deal with it is be nice and polite and just don't take any bait if he starts cr*p with you. At the end of the day she's with you so ignore any shenanigans he starts, he sounds like a total tosser anyways.

curlzy i will take your advice i'll be polite and ignore anything he might say as bait.

Originally Posted by Sappa

She's carrying a little baggage nonproblem really.She ain't getting back with him and you two should be together man.

sappa, we all have baggage in some form or shape big and small. she told me she doesnt know what she seen in him.


i'll be asking her tomorrow to make it official which i'm looking forward to, we both took our time month texting and a month seeing each other and it has worked out in our favour. i must say he did say for her n the baby to go to his on friday and he has a free house in his parents n has said to stay over, to me it defo sounds like he thinks there friends with benefits when there not.

cheers for the advice guys

[nowayout1]

Thank you guys so much for helping me figure out my situation. yesterday we met up and had a de javu moment as we done the samething as on our first date, by getting a coffee and going on a drive I must say i nervous in asking her, but when i asked she accepted and later on i gave her 2 roses, so i guess she is a lot happier now and I was full of surprises yesterday. thanks so much with this topic really appreciated it.

[Procrastastudy]

Boys make babies, men raise them.

Just be aware of the baggage.

[Taltos]

OP as your situation has been resolved I am closing this thread. If you want it reopened please contact any of the mods.

By the way - well done.

Taltos