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maryjoe · 28-04-2012, 00:23

I got offered a great job, worked 3 days and quit because I thought how the hours wouldn't suit me AFTER! How I wouldn't be there for my child as much as i'd like, yet I can't help beating myself up for packing it in so quickly...It's like I'm having panic attacks over it... cause suitable jobs are so hard to come by.
How do I let go of this without torturing myself further....?

edellc · 28-04-2012, 17:17

you learn from it, thats how you get over it

Yes you want to work that is great, now you are aware of the hours that will suit you so next time when you apply for a job and get an interview/offer you will know if you can or can not do it

Dont beat yourself up you tried and that is all we can do in life

**The Corinthian** · 01-05-2012, 16:16

I'm going to give the 'unpopular' view here.

I can well understand that the job would mean you wouldn't be there for your child as much as you'd like (as opposed to how much you would need), but unless you have a partner or some other form of independent means to support you financially, this is a luxury that you cannot afford - at least cannot afford unless you choose that you want to be supported by the state.

Morality aside though, there is a price to be paid in the long term. As a single parent, you can only do this for between 23 years at most, unless you have more children to stretch things out, that is. After that you simply revert to being unemployed (indeed, I think this now happens much earlier than 23 years now) and what then? You haven't been 'employed' in one or two decades, are no longer a spring chicken and you're on the Dole. Poverty or do you expect your now adult child to carry you financially?

In the end none of us get to live our lives as we'd like. There's always compromise, and if you don't do so, it actually can cause more harm than good in the long term.

**Moonbeam** · 01-05-2012, 17:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazel111

I got offered a great job, worked 3 days and quit because I thought how the hours wouldn't suit me AFTER! How I wouldn't be there for my child as much as i'd like, yet I can't help beating myself up for packing it in so quickly...It's like I'm having panic attacks over it... cause suitable jobs are so hard to come by.
How do I let go of this without torturing myself further....?

How old is your child?
I hated going back to work both times and if I didn't need I might not have,I can understood why you panicked.It is note asy leaving a toddler or small baby with someone else all day.
You need to weigh up the pros and cons eg. money,socialising,personal satisfaction.

Daisy M · 01-05-2012, 18:18

Whats done is done and you need to accept that and move on. You may have reacted too quickly or you may have acted rationally and realised that your job was never going to fit in with been a parent. Whatever the case learn from it and move on. Keep looking for jobs but be realistic about how many hours you can work and also what type of work pattern is best for you.

28-04-2012, 00:23	#1
maryjoe Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Mayo Posts: 68 Adverts \| Friends	Single parent ... I got offered a great job, worked 3 days and quit because I thought how the hours wouldn't suit me AFTER! How I wouldn't be there for my child as much as i'd like, yet I can't help beating myself up for packing it in so quickly...It's like I'm having panic attacks over it... cause suitable jobs are so hard to come by. How do I let go of this without torturing myself further....? Last edited by maryjoe; 28-04-2012 at 17:50.

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28-04-2012, 17:17	#2
edellc Closed Account Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,734 Adverts \| Friends	you learn from it, thats how you get over it Yes you want to work that is great, now you are aware of the hours that will suit you so next time when you apply for a job and get an interview/offer you will know if you can or can not do it Dont beat yourself up you tried and that is all we can do in life

01-05-2012, 16:16	#3
The Corinthian Moderator Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: The 2nd Circle of Hell Posts: 14,694 Adverts \| Friends Mod: Android Devices, Italiano (Italian), Mobiles, Windows Devices, Wireless	I'm going to give the 'unpopular' view here. I can well understand that the job would mean you wouldn't be there for your child as much as you'd like (as opposed to how much you would need), but unless you have a partner or some other form of independent means to support you financially, this is a luxury that you cannot afford - at least cannot afford unless you choose that you want to be supported by the state. Morality aside though, there is a price to be paid in the long term. As a single parent, you can only do this for between 23 years at most, unless you have more children to stretch things out, that is. After that you simply revert to being unemployed (indeed, I think this now happens much earlier than 23 years now) and what then? You haven't been 'employed' in one or two decades, are no longer a spring chicken and you're on the Dole. Poverty or do you expect your now adult child to carry you financially? In the end none of us get to live our lives as we'd like. There's always compromise, and if you don't do so, it actually can cause more harm than good in the long term.

01-05-2012, 18:18	#5
Daisy M Registered User Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: The wild west Posts: 1,460 Adverts \| Friends	Whats done is done and you need to accept that and move on. You may have reacted too quickly or you may have acted rationally and realised that your job was never going to fit in with been a parent. Whatever the case learn from it and move on. Keep looking for jobs but be realistic about how many hours you can work and also what type of work pattern is best for you.