[OldNotWIse]

Originally Posted by Chinafoot

Wow. Way to twist what I said. Also, as a survivor of sexual assualt I find your "provocative clothes" comment to be hideously offensive. If you actually read what I said, I was referring to your inability to see the role you play in your own relationship. Everything is everyone else's doing. This is an immature attitude to have.





Nobody said you are responsible for her conduct. You are however responsible for your response to her conduct.




Oh come on OP. You didn't want a dramatic scene so instead you continued the night (and alcohol consumption) with this woman despite her attempts to get you to dump your partner. By not removing yourself from the situation it escalated to involving your parnter directly. You could have easily told your parntner that you wanted to go home and explain it to her after you left.




You know what's not going to be helpful for you OP? Your extreme, overreaction to posts that don't tell you exactly what you want to hear. If your reaction here is any indication of how you behave in person when things aren't going your way then you really need to take a good look at yourself.

Good luck.

Thank you for your helpful advice. Not to turn this into a warpred competition but I am also a survivor of abuse, and I frankly find it revolting that you would use this as some kind of card that you can play on boards...

I certainly do not wish to have any more correspondance with someone who could stoop so low.

[Chinafoot]

Originally Posted by OldNotWIse

Thank you for your helpful advice. Not to turn this into a warpred competition but I am also a survivor of abuse, and I frankly find it revolting that you would use this as some kind of card that you can play on boards...

I certainly do not wish to have any more correspondance with someone who could stoop so low.

Post reported.

[username123]

OP - you need to be a little more open minded.

Your posts are screaming 'hands over ears LA LA LA LA LA' - you just dont want to hear what is being said to you, instead wanting to make daft excuses for your behaviour as though its rational.

Your own behaviour is what needs to be addressed. Why? Because you cant control the behaviour of other people, only yourself.

So only you can stop the snooping, only you can choose to walk away from a situation with someone inappropriately declaring love, only you can decide to trust your gf or not.

I would ask why you posted here, if all you are interested in is hearing what you want to hear, surely it was an objective view you are looking for? You are taking what people say way too personally, I am making observations on your behaviour, not on you as a person.

[LittleBook]

Originally Posted by OldNotWIse

Then later M told me my gf told her she was still in love with her and loved her more than me.

Is "M" your girlfriend's ex?

Originally Posted by OldNotWIse

she was stupid enough to tell my friend about her "plan" to get me

"M" told another friend that she was trying to break you and your girlfriend up so she could have you?

[Taltos]

All - can you all take a few or more steps back here.

While this is an emotional topic OP please realise that the posters here are taking time out of their lives to try and help you.
Sometimes that help might cut a little close to the bone - but the great thing is you can choose to ignore any piece of advice you choose.

We really do expect folk to try to stay civil here - accusing a poster of using their past abuse as a card to be played is just not acceptable and never will be. I am going to discuss this with the other mods to determine if we need to take further action on this - I can't stress how seriously I view that post.

If anyone has an issue with another poster - use the report button, it is not OK to pull a thread (even if that thread is your own) off topic by engaging in personal attacks.

For the moment this thread is remaining open, we may yet close it or take further action pending a review by the team.

Taltos

[Taltos]

Thread closed.

OP - next time someone shares a part of themselves with you please treat them and that action with the respect it and they deserve. While boards is anonymous it still takes a fair amount of guts to open up as Chinafoot has done in an attempt to help you.

In the meantime please re-read the advice you have been given - it is all valid and even if it is telling you something you don't want to hear does not make it any less correct.

Chinafoot - sorry you have had this experience.

Taltos